


"Come Morning Light (you and i'll be safe and sound)"

by orphan_account, Paperadventures



Series: Tethered [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternative Universe - Monarchy, Anal, Angst, Arranged Marriage, Bisexual Female Character, Blood, Brutality, Double Penetration, Drama, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Minor Character Death, Injury, Injury Recovery, Jealousy, Lesbian Sex, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Past Abuse, Possessive Behavior, Princess!Lexa, Protective Clarke, Rebel!Clarke, Romance, Romantic Soulmates, Rough Sex, Secret Relationship, Sexual Content, Strong Language, Stubborn Lexa, Suicide Attempt, Treason, Violence, full of sin, monarchy AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-26
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-08-17 10:28:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 25
Words: 101,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8140660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paperadventures/pseuds/Paperadventures
Summary: Her eyes wander over the brunette’s face and figure without rush – without thinking twice. She notices the large bruise on the charming cheekbone and how dirty her skin and clothes are, making Clarke purse her lips and chuckle throatily and quietly. As she settles her eyes on the green ones again, she crosses her arms on her chest and slips her tongue over her teeth.“So you are the one we’ve been trying to capture for more than a decade,” She says in a husky tone of voice, not once letting her gaze falter.Blue eyes contrast against pale skin and the princess finds herself temporarily lost in the color of them, staring like she is looking at something she is trying hard to analyze that remains just out of her grasp. They remind her of the sky, and each little white fleck in them is like a star. They are infinite looking and Lexa blinks a few times before she's finally able to start thinking clearly. Or;Lexa is a princess who has been sheltered through her life and Clarke is a part of the rebel movement to overthrow the corrupt monarchy.





	1. Horizon

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there everyone. So Lexark and I have been working on a story for the past several months and it has turned into something far bigger than we imagined. Currently at 150k words and still growing. We are currently editing and will be updating regularly. Exactly when, we are not sure of yet, but we hope to fall into a schedule as we work. We hope you enjoy this because I know we have both enjoyed working on it very much. Kudos and comments are very much appreciated. Enjoy!

Lexa's heart is beating wildly in her chest and the throbbing feels like it’s threatening to break apart her ribcage. There have been several times in her life where she had been directly threatened by rebels. When she was a child, she remembers her mother running into her room at night and pulling her out of her bed in a panic, telling her in a hushed voice that they must move quickly because the rebels were attacking the palace. She had been pulled into a hidden room in the lowest level of the castle and had to cower there until the morning, confused and afraid. 

Back then she had been terrified because she didn't understand the rebels. She never knew what they wanted or what they would do if they ever caught her, but now she's no longer a kid and she has learned these things that eluded her so long. That knowledge is far more terrifying than the mystery and any ideas she managed to gather back in her youth. She almost wishes that she could forget it all and go back to the blissful ignorance she was born into. Now, the only thing drawing her back out of her thoughts is a rough hand on her back shoving her forward and a harsh voice telling her to walk.

One moment she had been going with a visitor from a neighboring kingdom to keep the young prince company while their family’s discussed politics, and the next she was snatched from her horse, gagged, bound, and blindfolded. Her first instinct had been to fight and defend herself, kicking and screaming violently until she had been knocked over the head hard enough to nearly knock her out. From there she had been dragged along carelessly. When the two men finally pause after hours of pulling her along so she stumbles forward blindly, she’s disoriented from the journey but she knows that wherever she is must be a rebel compound because nothing else makes sense. She's pulled to a stop and her whole body is tense as she's pushed down into a chair and her wrist and bound behind her. The man slides the blindfold off of her but doesn't give her any more attention before she's in an empty room, with the gag still tied tightly making it impossible for her to speak.

 

On the other side of the camp, intense blue eyes are trained on the fire pit where some people of their rebel’s group are reunited, talking loudly and cheering their last accomplishment. The Princess had been kidnapped, finally – after years of failed attempts. Clarke purses her lips at that, knowing she had played a large hand on that move. She flicks her dagger with her hand and averts her eyes to where her father is – Slightly drunk, speaking up with his large squared shoulders and glassy grey eyes. 

Clarke grins at the sound of his laugh and she thinks about her mother for an instant before shaking her head and getting up from the muddy ground. Her steps are large but steady, and some of the boys greets her as she passes through them. She nods at Bellamy and Jasper, both drunk as well, as she approaches Jake, who opens his arms to hug his little girl. 

 

“Clarke!” He exclaims loudly and kisses the top of her head, making her grimace and pull back out of reflex.

 

“I’m going to check on the prisoner. She could be useful and it’s about time someone did it.” The blonde mutters with a serious expression and begins to walk away from the crowds of people, heading to the chambers before her father could pull her again to another awkward and embarrassing hug. 

 

She sighs feeling a bit annoyed at the celebrating and the loud voices because yes, it is great that they finally have the upper hand against the King, but there is too much to do yet and it seems like the drunken celebration is taking the focus off what really needs to be done. She shouldn’t be the only one who is actually working.

As she unlocks the door, her mind muses about the things she’d heard about the quiet and very lovely Princess Woods, and she can’t help but be a bit curious about the girl who everyone seems to love and respect despite who her parents are.

 

Back in her cell, Lexa hears the man lock the door behind him, leaving her feeling trapped and terrified like never before. 

Her green eyes flicks around the room. There is light shining in from the setting sun through the windows, but she knows that once it goes down, the darkness is going to engulf her little cell completely and that prospect frightens her further. She tries to shout and scream, but the gag muffles all of her noises so they come out as quiet barely audible noises instead of pleads for help. 

There is a throbbing in her head from the blows she had received earlier while she was getting captured, and she's fairly sure that she has a bruise forming on her cheekbone because she had been struck there after putting up a particularly desperate struggle trying to escape. 

Taking a deep breath, she is forced to sit there quietly. Her long hair stuck to her forehead and neck with sweat and dirt on her skin. The brunette is still in her long ball gown that she had been in earlier, only now it is filthy and torn from the struggle she had put up.

When the door to the room she's in starts to open, it's her first instinct to yank at the bounds that are keeping her wrist tied behind her back to try to get them free, but they don't budge so she sits tensely with her wide eyes trained on the door.

She sees a girl enter the room – to her surprise, seeming no older than herself. The girl has blonde hair, pale skin and piercing blue eyes, and Lexa finds herself relieved that it's not the man from earlier, even if it is only out of contempt for the way he has treated her. She somehow manages to keep her chin up and look as dignified as she can while still being battered and tied up.

Blinking a few times and waiting for her eyes to adjust the darkness, Clarke steps further, slowly but not hesitantly, until she finds herself very close to the thick grid that separates the rebel from the princess. 

 

The first thing Clarke sees is big, expressive green eyes – and automatically she thinks about the forest on sunny days, when she used to run around with her mother laughing loudly and her father trying to catch her; When she used to think life was easy and never had struggles. 

She blinks once and her memory fades as she takes the girl in. She is as mess, is Clarke’s first thought. The second one was about how people’s words weren’t enough to describe how stunning the Princess really is. 

Her eyes wander over the brunette’s face and figure without rush – without thinking twice. She notices the large bruise on the charming cheekbone and how dirty her skin and clothes are, making Clarke purse her lips and chuckle throatily and quietly. As she settles her eyes on the green ones again, she crosses her arms on her chest and slips her tongue over her teeth.

 

“So you are the one we’ve been trying to capture for more than a decade,” She says in a husky tone of voice, not once letting her gaze falter.

 

Lexa watches as the girl steps in closer to her. The blonde has a mien of power about her but she doesn’t appear as brutish and cruel as the person who had been man-handling her before, but Lexa is plenty aware that looks can be deceiving. 

There is something about this girl that seems cocky, almost snarky, but at the same time Lexa finds something about her that is alluring. Maybe it's only the hope of escape that is drawing her towards this person, but she doesn't care. The only thing she can focus on at the moment is the girl in front of her.

Blue eyes contrast against pale skin and she finds herself temporarily lost in the color of them, staring like she is looking at something she is trying hard to analyze that remains just out of her grasp. They remind her of the sky, and each little white fleck in them is like a star. They are infinite looking and Lexa blinks a few times before she's finally able to start thinking clearly. The thing that finally makes her look away is Clarke's small mocking laugh. It reminds her of the situation she's in and she instantly tenses, her jaw locking noticeably.

This girl is still a rebel, despite how she isn't hurting her yet like the others and despite the way there is something familiar about her. The blonde's comment makes her jerk against her bounds and she is clearly fed-up with the way she has been constricted and confined all day. She knew that she was being hunted since she was a kid, but staring at the face of one of those people she has been taught to fear since she was a child makes it real and terrifying. She had always assumed they mostly cared for her parents, but it turns out she had been the main focus for quite some time because they thought she would be good negotiation material. 

The brunette leans forward slightly like she's trying to manage to spit the gag out to speak, but it's tied too tightly and she just lets out a gentle huff of frustration and looks up at the rebel girl, her eyebrows furrowed together in a tight frown.

 

Despite knowing she shouldn’t, Clarke grunts and steps forward, her shoulders slouched back with dignity while she takes a keychain from her pocket and uses one – the biggest – to unlock the small chain. She keeps her eyes on the girl, though, suddenly hearing nothing but the beat of her heart against her ribcage. 

The Princess is lean and regal, even with dirt on her neck and arms – and probably legs too. She smirks at that thought, feeling satisfied that for once a royal is brought to their knees.

Her movements are precise, but there is no ruthless about them. She doesn’t want to scare the already anxious girl since it will do her cause no good.

 

“I’m going to take your gag off, alright princess?” Clarke warns with an ironic touch on her voice as she says the girl’s title. 

 

She steps closer until there is only a feet separating them, keeping her eyes locked with the oh, so, so green orbs. She wets her dried and chapped lips with the tip of her tongue as her hand goes up to touch the Princess’s prominent jawline as she goes to take the jaw off.

 

“If you scream, I will cut your tongue off,” She says quietly and calmly, without blinking. “If you try to run, I will break your knees,” She looks down to the bridge of the girl’s nose and stops at the plump lips, and despite her awful words, her touch is gentle and her eyes are soft. 

 

Clarke takes a deep breath, catching the brunette’s perfume in the air and again, she is back in the forest, on her father’s shoulders shouting like she is a knight on a horse, ready to fight the enemy and rescue the princess, played by her mother. Clearing her throat, the blonde takes a step back and the burning feeling on the pit of her stomach is starting to annoy her.

 

“Do you understand?” She asks, keeping her voice husky and quiet, but firm.

 

Lexa does not even bother answering as the girl comes closer. She tries to protest but the gag muffles it so the noise is merely a quiet murmur from anxiety. She's tense and tries to pull away, or lean back, or do anything to stay away from this rebel since every other one of them has hurt her. She leans her head down trying to avoid this girl's touch, fearing some sort of blow after the harsh words that have come out of Clarke's mouth, yet when the girl reaches forward and places a hand on her jaw to steady her face so she can remove the gag, she finds that it's soft and gentle, as not to press on her bruise. She feels herself relax slightly and slowly gazes back up, letting her green eyes search Clarke's blue, meeting steadily ones like the earth meets the sky. 

Even if she somehow managed to get past this woman, she has almost no chance of getting farther, and she knows that.

She keeps fiddling and pulling at the rope around her wrist, clearly not happy with being tied and gagged so tightly. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath before forcing herself to still and stare up at the blonde. She loosens up her jaw and parts her lips slightly so she isn't biting down on the gag and Clarke can take it out. Some people might cry or beg, but Lexa somehow still looks in charge, almost like she's daring the rebel.

She feels trapped and useless, which she honestly is in this situation. She is used to being in charge and the utter lack of control she had over herself at the moment is entirely frustrating, but having the cloth out of her mouth is a relief and she takes a deep breath, grinding her teeth together for a moment to stretch her aching jaw after Clarke’s steady hand finally pulls it out.

The gag hangs around her throat and after appreciating the feeling of no longer being partially choked by the cloth that had been tied around her head, she focuses her attention back on the blonde. 

Clarke clenches her jaw shut, grinding her teeth at the now clear sight of the large bruise on the girl’s face. That’s the part she never agrees on, and honestly, that’s why people never really trusts in them.

The Rebels have this reputation of being ruthless and brainless. Punch first, think later – and it always make Clarke cringe. For a second, only a tiny second, Clarke thinks about loosing the restrains and making the girl relax – after all, she does need her to cooperate. But as soon as the thought comes, it goes when she looks at the fiercy stare the princess is giving her – which, really, it’s fair, but it only makes the rebel to chuckle again and step back to lean her back on the bars.

The daring look is something Clarke wasn’t expecting, if she is being honest. She was waiting a crying and begging princess – or a bitchy loud one. They are easier to fool. But this in front of her is something entirely different and Clarke doesn’t really know what to do with that. 

 

“Princess Lexa Woods,” She starts, testing the name on her lips for the first time, “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”

 

Lexa’s mind can't seem to make up its opinion of this girl. For starters, there is that slight familiar aspect to her and the way her body reacts to each touch. Despite the situation, she finds herself relaxing because of this girl, only to snap herself out of it each time. On the other hand, this rebel is one of her captors. She's mocking her and clearly looking for something out of this interaction, yet the brunette takes a deep breath and forces herself to stay composed. 

 

“Hello.” She finally murmurs out softly. She keeps her voice even, but swallows hard, clearly knowing the danger she’s in. “What can I call you?” She ask, her eyebrows furrowing with curiosity of who the blonde is. Her head is still throbbing dully with pain and the discomfort is clear on her face as she adjusts herself to lean her head back. “And what will you do with me?”

 

Clarke watches the girl with attentive and curious eyes, noticing every expression and every line on the princess’s face: How her brow furrows with the probable pain on her cheek and head; How she grinds her teeth together, making the corner of her mouth turn down with discomfort; How she held her chin up, and how squared her shoulders are despite being dragged around for almost a whole day. 

She is startled when the princess soft but strained voice echoes the room, and Clarke is taken aback by it for a second. The sound is warm and there is something about it that makes the rebel take a step back – or more like press her back against the bars, as first reaction. When she blinks again, the feeling is gone and she is annoyed by it. 

 

“What I will do with you will depend on how collaborative you can be,” Clarke says, ignoring the princess first question, which Lexa isn’t surprised by. She steps forward again, cautiously, and takes a can of water from her pants pocket. She knows that the girl hasn’t eaten since she was taken from her path, and so, mirroring her previous gesture, she gets closer to the interesting girl and raises her hand to take her face, caring not to hurt her further. 

 

“Listen,” Clarke yanks the can open with her teeth. Lexa half expects the girl to taunt her with it, but after just a second Clarke reaches forward and holds her face so she can press the container to Lexa's lips and allow her to drink greedily. “Some of the men will want to come by later. Some of them will want to make you a woman, if you know what I mean,” Clarke continues speaking, making a grimace as she talks, “Some of them will want to touch you; beat you, and treat you like a piece of scum. So your best chance is with me, understand?” 

 

She notices how the princess is trying hard to keep a straight face despite how the fear is clear in her eyes. She almost feels bad, but she pushes the feeling downward because this is the best way to get the girl to cooperate. Lexa leans back from the canteen of water so that she can take a deep breath and notices how Clarke gazes over her face, seeming to take in everything about her.

Any relief Lexa found at being spoken to and allowed to drink is quickly erased by the words that come out of the blonde's mouth and that is clear. She had expected it to be something vulgar, possibly being hung just for her royal blood or tortured until she gave up every last secret of her parent's, but she hadn't expected what Clarke admits to her.

The thought of being a bitch for one of the men here makes her tense and yank and her bounds desperately but in vain because they refuse to budge. Even the rebel girl seems to grimace at the thought and the brunette knows that she sees how wrong it is too. Even people like this have to draw a line somewhere, and maybe that's where the blonde girl draws hers. 

She believes these people want to break her and reduce her to tear down the royal name in every way they can. They want to do whatever they are able to do to her to make the King and Queen upset enough to follow through on negotiations to get her back, and if making her the rebels’ whore is their way to it, she much rather just be tortured. 

 

A drop of water drips down her chin when she gazes back up at the blonde. Intense blue eyes follows the trail of water that slips from the plump lips and Clarke can’t help but to use her thumb to wipe it gently. 

When Lexa finally speaks, her voice is now much shakier than before, like the reality of the situation is setting in. 

 

“Please,” Her green eyes search Clarke's face pleadingly. “Don't let them hurt me like that,” She barely gets the words out without her voice cracking at the thought and she forces herself to take a deep breath. “I’ll do what you need me to, but don't leave me alone.” She swallows hard and tries to keep up her dignity despite it not meaning anything in this situation.

 

When the princess speaks up, Clarke catches in her voice just how afraid the girl actually is – seeing just how easy she is begging for protection. The blonde girl stays quiet as her head swims with a billion thoughts and she locks her eyes with the green scared ones.

 

“I won’t,” She says when she steps back until her back is against the bars again. “If you cooperate.” 

 

She crosses her arms over her chest and works her jaw as she thinks about her next move. She could get out and tell her father that the princess is easy to work with; that they don’t need to use other methods to have the girl telling them what they want. But she also knows that the moment she leaves the brunette alone, some of the men will come in and do as they please. 

 

“I will stay,” Clarke says with a small nod as she slips down and sits on the dirty ground. She takes her dagger out and flicks it on her hand in a silent warn. “I recommend you to get comfortable, princess. The night will be long.”

 

When the girl speaks up, she feels a wave of relief crash over her, like a huge weight being lifted from her. Just the promise of this rebel girl to stay with her means that she is going to have someone to keep her safe and that thought makes her relax just slightly. 

 

“Thank you.” Her posh accent shines through when she says the words and she just catches herself looking at the blonde and watching every small movement, like the way her fingers flick over the blade and the muscles in her neck flex just slightly with each turn. There are many things she can handle, Lexa considers, but her purity getting taken is not one of those things. It's expected of her and many other girls of noble descent to save themselves until they are married off, else wise she's told the noble men won't want her to marry.

 

That's what marriage is about, right? Finding the wealthiest and most powerful man who will take her so that her kingdom and her people can flourish. She is to marry whoever her father auctions her too, and that is a peace she came to a long time ago. The kingdom comes first always. She is constantly in her long ballgowns all the way down to the ankles and her dresses usually have long sleeves that cover down to her wrist as well, like the one she's wearing now.

Maybe it's just because it was so thoroughly trained into her, but modestly is important, like second-nature. The rebel lowers down to the ground and Lexa tugs slightly on the bounds keeping her tied with her hands behind the chair.

 

Clarke slips her tongue over her teeth as she watches the girl going from anguished to relieved in seconds. She knows how things are – especially for the royal girls and women. She knows they are treated like a coin in a trade. Like a little pet, trained to behave, to speak lightly, to be modest and humble and to always smile at the men’s jokes. She understands, even if she isn’t a part of Lexa’s realm. She is still a girl who had been taught to behave and be nice and never show much skin. She grew up hearing her father’s boys speaking about women like a piece of meat, having their eyes on her own body when she started to grow breasts and curves. Lucky her, though, for being Jake’s daughter – For having a strong mind and fighting for herself. It helps, too, that she uses men’s clothes almost all the time.

 

“Could you untie my hands so I can lay down on the ground?” Lexa ask, her voice back to the soft murmur. “And your name, what can I call you?” She ask again quietly.

 

Slipping her index finger on the blade, she looks at the princess with curious eyes, ignoring her request and question about her name. 

 

“How old are you?” Clarke asks, wondering if the girl is older or younger than herself – probably younger by one or two years –, she muses as she looks at the ballgown the girl is wearing. The blonde girl grimaces at it, knowing how the stupid thing can be extremely uncomfortable.

 

The girl’s eyebrows furrow into a frown when the woman ignores her questions, but she can't say that she's surprised. Maybe if she were more confident, she would refuse to speak until the girl fulfilled her request, but the thought of being left alone in here is enough to make be willing to cooperate. She gazes at the rebel girl who appears to be about her age with possibly a few years difference.

 

“Nineteen,” She speaks up after a moment. 

 

Her parents have been keen to try to sell her off to a husband now that she's matured, and she knew that if she were any older then they would force her into it. They could have done it much earlier and it wouldn't have been frowned upon, but Lexa herself had begged to stay. Getting married to a stranger was the last thing that she wanted. 

Clarke was comfortable with the following silence hovering around them after the answer she is given. She nods slowly at the confirmation that indeed Lexa is a year younger than herself and stays quiet for a long period of time. Her thoughts were running on and off about the time she was young and had both of her parents around. The familiar green of the princess eyes was making her feel unsettled and, if she was honest, a bit anxious as well – Like she is facing a deep black hole in the edge of the world. 

The blade in her hands has a calming effect and soon she is thinking about the next steps of the big plan against the monarchy. Deep down, though, Clarke wonders for a few seconds if the peacefulness she is feeling is being provided by the girl tied in front of her, but she quickly dismisses the thought. 

 

Lexa lets out a deep breath and tilts her head back trying to get her hair out of her face. It falls around her shoulders in waves and she keeps sitting there quietly, her shoulders straight and ankles crossed as she swings them slightly back and forth with the limited range of motion that she has. Her lips are chapped, so her tongue peaks out to wet them for temporary relief. She watches the rebel girl, sitting there with a blade between her fingers on the dirty ground, and a new thought comes to her mind. 

 

“Why are you doing this?” She questions, green eyes searching blue. The woman must have a bed upstairs that is more comfortable than the ground, and she must have better things to do than sitting here so no one can come in. “Protecting me, I mean,” She adds on. 

 

This blonde is one of the rebels. She is sitting here keeping her tied up and filthy, but the one luxury she has been granted is having Clarke sit here next to her so no one will be able to harm her further. 

Clarke is chewing on her bottom lip when the princess voice echoes around the room again, making sharp blue eyes seek the green ones with easy. The rebel raises an eyebrow at the question thrown at her and she presses her lips together in a fine line. Why indeed had she stayed? Why sit down for the whole night just to make sure that the brunette girl won’t be violated? 

She works her jaw, bothered by the inquiring and she purses her lips. She thinks about not answering that one as well, but she can’t help the words that escapes her lips after a long moment. 

 

“Despite what people say and think about us, not everyone here is an animal,” She mutters with her eyebrows furrowed. With a sigh, she lowers her eyes to the dagger as she plays with it, “You see, princess… I’m a believer that things can be achieved when you know how to play your hand right. When you know when you need to use force, when to use violence, and when to be strategic and use words instead. You would be of no use if I let the men transform you into their whore, although I can see how it would hurt your parents and your status.” She says with a calm voice before looking back at the girl. This comment makes the princess tense and her lips tremble with a mix of fear and anger.

 

Staying with her eyes locked with the princess, Clarke sighs loudly and rolls her eyes at herself as she gets up and goes around the chair before kneeling and loosening the restraints on Lexa’s wrists for a bit. The smell of the princess hair is like fucking heaven though, and the rebel can’t help but notice it as she gets up. 

 

“Thank you,” Lexa echoes again quietly. “I appreciate this.”

 

“Don’t try to escape, please, I’m really not in the mood for hunting” The blonde girl says, stepping back to her previous spot on the ground before looking at the window where she can see how low the sun is. There are no more loud chats and drunk laughs outside and she knows that most of the men are now eating or sleeping. 

 

Lexa finds herself growing more tired as the sun lowers in the sky. The day had been terrifying and her adrenaline had been pumping wildly the whole time, so by now it has died down and she's left exhausted. Her stomach rumbles hungrily and she slouches back in the chair, seeming to realize she's not going anywhere anytime soon.

She keeps looking at Clarke, watching her carefully as though she's trying to figure something out, like trying to dig up a memory from childhood that she just can't quite remember. For her, most the rebels seem so mindless. They are all brutes that rely solely on violence and cruelty to get their work done, but as the blonde speaks she can't help thinking how exceptionally different this girl is.

It's probably because of that different part of Clarke that is showing her mercy, she thinks. But she supposed it could also be dangerous because unlike the others, this blonde is strategic and smart. The rebel girl says how she wouldn't be any use as the mens’ whore, and that's more true than they even know. 

As far as breaking her down and defiling her, that would be the fastest way to do it, but she would also lose her value. She hates to admit it to herself, but she's not even sure if her parents would still fight for her if the word got out that these rebel men had violated her like that. She would no longer be the precious commodity that she is now. She would be seen as damaged goods and would likely lose the majority of potential suitors, and that is one of the only things her father sees her useful for. She's not allowed into political discussions, or serious court matters. The only thing she's good for in his eyes is sitting and looking pretty while flirting with the princes from the other kingdoms who have the most wealth and power.

 

Lexa goes back to her silence for a moment before she actually decides to speak again.

 

“If your leader is smart, and wants me as a piece to negotiate with my parents, then he should ensure that your men stay away from me. He should control his people, else wise my parents aren't going to be nearly as keen to get me back.” She's saying it mostly as insurance to confirm she won't be hurt, but at the same time she knows the words are completely true. Her parents have never been present and loving since they are busy with the affairs of the kingdom. Most her childhood she was raised by the nannies that were hired to care for her.

 

Clarke raises her eyebrow at the princess short speech about how to deal with her. She can’t help but snort and chuckle throatily as she shakes her head slowly. Unbelievable, she thinks as she fixes her eyes on the girl’s face intently. The rebel leans her head back against the thick grid as she wears a shitty grin playing on her lips. She sets the tip of her blade on the ground, closer to her left boot, and places her left arm over her knee.

 

“You are something else, Lexa Woods,” She says with a low chuckle, shaking her head and turning to look at the window again, noticing the dark of the night covering the sky. Lexa hears Clarke laughing at the comments she made before, but she wishes she were joking.

 

“I'm serious.” She responds dryly, despite the way Clarke's laugh makes a certain warmth grow in her stomach. “If I'm messed up in any noticeable way, I'll be a burden instead of a commodity and my parents much rather have a dead child than one that brings them shame.” It's a horrible thing to say, but it's true despite how much it hurts her to admit it. 

 

Thinking about getting abandoned because of something completely out of her control is unfair and terrifying, but there is nothing that she can do about it. Her mother might try to argue in her favor, but her father is the one who ends up being in charge and calling the shots. 

The rebel clears her throat, ignoring – or well, pulling aside what Lexa said about her parents preferring to have a dead child than a dishonorable one. She knows about it. She knows the princess is only useful if her virtue stays untouched – She has planned every step of this play and, opposed to the others before her, she knows exactly what she is doing. 

Sighing and wetting her chapped lips, she glances back at the princess again, letting her eyes wander down at the bruised wrists. She really isn’t a fan of brutal force, no matter how partially satisfied she is when the back of her head screams for revenge. She starts to feel hungry – and knows the girl is probably worse, but she can’t really leave until dawn, when she is sure everyone will be sleeping. 

Taking off the canteen lid, the blonde girl rolls her eyes again annoyed with herself and crawls back closer to where the princess is and looks up to green orbs. 

 

“It’s bloody,” She says, gesturing her chin to the girl’s wrists, pointing at it. 

 

Slowly and in silence, and not wanting to use all of the water, she spills some of it over Lexa’s cuts. She notices how there are shallow cuts in both her wrist from where the rope had cut into her skin, and a thin line of blood drips from them. 

Lexa is pulled out of her thoughts when the rebel girl scoots closer to her and she watches carefully as the woman pulls out her canteen and slowly pours some water over the gashes, cleaning out any dirt and easing the stinging before crawling back to her spot. Her mind is temporarily fogged as she just gazes at the trail of blood while it trickles down into the palm of her hand and settles there, like ink drying on a page. 

Clarke doesn’t look at the princess again, knowing she is acting a bit too strangely – especially for her own licking. She huffs grumpily and takes her dagger again when she sits back on her spot.

 

“Thank you for that,” Lexa says quietly.

 

The water washes off the blood and she lets out a sigh of relief. It's a kind thing to do and after everything she's been through today, the simple action of being cared for like that is enough to help calm her anxiety. She waits until the blonde has scooted back and is leaning into the bars before very slowly standing up from her chair, clearly trying not to startle Clarke. Her gown just grazes the floor when she stands and she's barefoot since she lost her shoes in the struggle of fighting the rebels. 

She runs her fingers through her messy locks, letting them cascade down her back in loose waves. She tries to wipe some of the dirt off her face, but has to be careful with the tender bruised area. Moving on, she does her best to wipe the dress off as well, trying her best not to look the mess that she is before settling herself down on the floor of the cell so that she can stretch out her legs and lean back against the wall. 

 

“It’s Clarke,” The rebel says after a long silence. 

 

When the blonde girl speaks after a long silence, Lexa’s confused for a moment before realizing what she means. A gentle smile tilts up Lexa's lips and she gazes at Clarke with it for a moment. 

 

“I appreciate what you're doing for me, Clarke,” She says gently, happy to know the girl's name. “Do you know what these people want me for? What use am I to you?” The smile faded from her face as she ask. “I don't have political power. I don't see why I'm valuable.”

 

With the corner of her eye, Clarke watches the girl curiously as the princess stands up and runs her hands over her face, dress and hair. She gets caught on the way Lexa’s long and delicate fingers moves as she runs them through her loose brown curls before sitting down on the ground as well, on the opposite side of the room. Her thoughts are interrupted by the brunette girl voice and Clarke turns her face in time to catch the small but nice smile on the girl’s lips, making her heart skip a beat and the tip of her ears burn and flush, before it fades as she speaks. 

She sighs loudly and rests the back of her head against the bars, looking up to the deformed ceiling. 

 

“Your mother can’t have another child,” She starts, wondering if maybe she knows more about the princess’s parents than the girl. She flicks her tongue on the roof of her mouth, making a ‘tsk’ sound and pursing her lips at the thought. It was very likely, yes. “She had three miscarriages after having you. Your father is the last of his name, and so is your mother.” 

 

She then looks at the big green eyes on front of her, illuminated by the night’s light. 

 

“With that in mind, we know the future of your bloodline lays on your shoulders.” Leaning forward as she rests her elbows on her knees, Clarke slightly inclines her head to a side, “Can you see it now, princess?” The rebel can’t help but smirk, feeling proud of her plan. 

 

She chuckles quietly then, shaking her head and rolling her eyes as she leans back again, in a relaxed position. Her eyes wander over the princess figure easily – as if she has spent all her life doing it, and her smirk turns into a fine line. 

 

“You are priceless, Lexa.” Her voice is serious and meaningful, but there is an edge to it that makes the princess flinch.


	2. Revelations

Lexa sets her jaw and listens as Clarke speaks about her family. Hearing these people know intimate details of her life back home in the kingdom is beyond unsettling. How would they know these sorts of things? She knew that her mother couldn't carry more children, but even she didn't know about the multiple miscarriages. 

Her eyebrows furrow into a look of mixed concern and anger. Part of her tells her that the blonde is lying, but in reality Clarke has no reason to lie to her. She has nothing to gain from telling her this false information. Lexa shakes her head and looks to the ground, not understanding until the rebel continues. She knows now that she is the only chance to continue on her parents royal blood, and that's part of the reason they had been so keen to get her married off to a powerful man so they can have a male heir born for their throne.

Her green eyes narrow and she stares at Clarke, who has a cocky smirk on her face and seems thoroughly satisfied with her plan that Lexa is still trying to figure out. Sure, the rebels could kill her and that would ensure she never had children, but it would also set the public against them. There may be people who disagree with Royal policy, but Lexa is still the sweetheart of the kingdom, and many would be infuriated and turn against the rebel cause if they were the ones to kill her.

On the other hand, if they were to make her tarnished and unable to be married off, they would be completing their agenda without actually having her blood on their hands. The thought makes her stiffen visibly and she sets her jaw, any meager trust she had began developing in the blonde now having disappeared.

 

She sees the way piercing blue eyes gaze over her petite form and she just forced herself to take a deep breath.

 

“So what will you do?” Lexa challenges, “Kill me, and have the kingdom hate you for it?” Her voice quivering the slightest bit. “Maybe leave me locked up here until this place is found and I'm freed.” The brunette tilts her head to the side just a bit and lowers her eyes, not wanting to consider the other option that had been insinuated. “Or what? Tarnish me and just let me go? That way no one would want me anyway.”

 

She can imagine her parents disowning her for such a thing, and in the public's eyes that would make them look like the bad guys. They would likely never admit to the public the real reason, and therefore the royals would look cruel and ruthless, advancing the rebels cause.  
She was right about this girl being dangerous and being smart, and she digs her nails into her palm with anger.

 

Clarke muses about telling part of her plan to the curious and inquisitive girl, who still holds her chin up and chest high. The rebel admires the princess strength and resilience, though. How she doesn’t flinch when she talks, even with the large bruise on her cheek. How her hands are laid on her side as if her wrists weren’t cut and bloody. How, despite wavering and cracking slightly, her voice is almost steady – clear and purposeful. 

For a moment she thinks about how would be if their roles were inverted. If she was raised as a princess, with both her parents alive; with nice food, clean sheets and well detailed clothes. If she had lived in the huge castle, free of the ugliness of the civil wars and death and blood. If she had not lived without a place to call home. 

Like before, Lexa’s insistent voice and persuasive eyes interrupt her thoughts and the blonde girl raises her eyebrow, noticing the change on the girl’s posture. She is defensive; tense and enraged.

 

It bothers her, if she is being honest, the distrust reflected on the princess face and so she decides to put her dagger away, slipping it on her holster. 

 

“You don’t get it,” Clarke says, making the ‘tsk’ sound again as she shakes her head slowly, fixing her eyes on the angry girl in front of her. “I have no intent to lay a finger on you, Lexa,” She says slowly, intently, trying to make the girl understand. “But that’s me.” 

 

The princess stares at the girl in front of her with distrust clear on her face and her lip curled up in disgust. She watches the knife dangling on the girl’s side and Lexa half expects to be attacked right there. 

She stares at her like a caged wild animal does at their captor. There is fear in her eyes, that's clear, but there is something more than that too, like a primal aggression that suggest if Clarke were to come at her with a knife, she would fight back with tooth and claw to try to defend herself. 

Remained leaning into her little corner of the room, she hears Clarke's comment saying she would never lay a finger on her and she feels fury rise up in her stomach. 

 

“If you’re willing to sit around and let someone do it then you’re just as bad,” Lexa practically spits out the words, so much distaste on her face as she looks at the blonde in front of her.

 

Clarke half shrugs and averts her eyes to the window, catching the moon with her glance, making her sigh quietly and press her lips together. 

 

“As long as you cooperate, you will be fine,” She mutters with a serious expression and worries her bottom lip between her teeth as she stays quiet for a moment. “There are some secrets we need to know about the deal between the crown and the church, first. I know your parents will do almost everything to have you back unharmed, but as much used you are to it, we won’t treat you only as a trade coin, no,” Clarke turns to the princess, not quite liking her choice of words, but making use of it anyway. 

 

She then wonders how much the princess knows about how her father actually rules the kingdom. The princesses are supposed to be lovely little fools. They are to be kept out of political and judicial issues and be kept to themselves, so it wouldn't be out of the ordinary if Lexa was clueless. Yet, Lexa is keen and observant, and it's clear that she isn't stupid. She knows far more about the castle affairs than she will let on. 

Clarke wonders if she knows about his witch hunt on the poor women that practices herbal medicine. If she knows about how he steals and steals and steals and takes everything the people have; Their money, their homes, their food – even their kids, to train into future knights, totally brainwashed. She sets her jaw shut as old memories flash behind her eyes, making the rebel grind her teeth and furrow her brows.

 

“Tell me one thing, princess,” she says with a raspy cold voice, “What have you heard about us, rebels?”

 

When the blonde speaks up a minute later and ask about the rebels, Lexa sets her jaw. 

 

“They are brutes and terrorists,” She hisses out the words, her piercing gaze never wavering. “They promote nothing but violence and disorder. They get off on being in power and thrive on being able to hurt people with it.” She pauses for a moment and raises her eyebrows. “That's what I was taught as kid. To fear and to hate the rebels. That they are pieces of scum and a plague to the kingdom,” The words are harsh and Lexa's demeanor has changed because she’s clearly tense and any trust she had began developing in Clarke was twisted. “Do you know what I think, now that I've met them?” Her voice is softer again, more ladylike to fit her posh accent. Her expression doesn't change even though she knows this comment could very well get her into worse trouble. She leans forward just slightly and raises her eyebrows. “I think everyone who said that was completely right.”

 

As the princess throws words at her, Clarke only stares and listens quietly with attentive eyes and a blank expression. It’s nothing different from what she is used to hear whenever a royalty talks about the filthy rebels. What makes her stomach churn is not the little rant, but the glint on Lexa’s green eyes as she speaks proudly. What makes Clarke’s eyes fall down to the ground, is the soft voice and raised eyebrows and even the little trace of smirk on the princess plump lips. 

She swallows hard, staying quiet for a very long time trying to mute the voice in the back of her head telling her to make the girl eat her words, to get up and leave and to hell her perfect plan with no shredded blood. To hell the fall of monarchy – to hell the princess and her green eyes that are like forest and home and peace. To get revenge on her mother, on her brother, on her first love. Lexa’s answer is not a surprise, no. But she hoped that the girl would be less alienated and more prone to question and doubt. 

The rebel wets her dried lips slowly before blinking a few times and raising her head again, to rest it on the bar – her eyes falling on the princess face again, like so many times she did since she decided to stay. She knows she should stay quiet, that there is no way she would try to educate a 19 years old princess, daughter of her mother’s killer. Yet… 

 

“It is a disappointment, I must say,” She begins with a quiet voice, soft on the edge – a tone she haven’t used in a very long time. “I know for a fact that you like to spend your free time on the library, with your nose inside of a book. I also know you have observant eyes and is always – always – paying attention to your father business,” The blonde girl gives out a sad little smile as she looks at the window again, “I must say I thought you would be one of those… How is it called? Poindexter. Who reads a lot and thinks they are above everyone else. I also thought you’d cry a lot, but I was wrong, wasn’t I, Lexa?” She turns her glance to the princess’s eyes intently, “You aren’t stupid, so use your little brain for a change.” Her tone changes, turning cold and a bit aggressive. "Do you really think us, the rebels, are just a bunch of ruthless group that… What? Are jealous of how bloody rich you are?” She lets a dry ironic chuckle out before clenching her jaw, “Do you know who fucking gets off by being a little pig thriving on power? Your dear cunt of a father.” 

 

Lexa keeps herself in that position, leaning herself forward just a little bit so that she can keep her eye on Clarke and her head tilted just a bit to mirror the way Clarke looks at her with that condescending stare. Part of her expects the woman to launch forward and kill her right there. The blonde already has a knife on her, but she's sure the girl must be taking orders from someone higher, and killing the prisoner on the first night is likely not an approved move. 

When the blonde doesn't try to strike at her or attack her, she slowly leans back against the wall, never breaking their challenging gazes. Once Clarke mentions her life back in the castle, her eyebrows furrow together and is clearly disturbed at the thought of these people having information about her private life. The castle is where she's supposed to feel safe and protected, but somehow they have eyes there as well. 

She just curls her lip up in disgust and listens as Clarke's voice shifts and becomes more accusatory and aggressive, but Lexa's stare doesn't back down. When the rebel mentions her father being the one who is sick with power, she shakes her head slightly. Her and her father don't agree on a lot of policies, but he isn't a murderer. It's not like she is close to the man, because she's surely not, he’s also not harsh, at least not to his people. His family is a different story.

 

She remembers when she was a kid, her mother would have small bruises on her and she would say she was never able to recall where they came from, or she would lie and give some dumb excuse as to how she got them. At the young age, Lexa hadn't thought anything of it, but as she grew older and saw the power dynamic between her parents, her father was so clearly in charge, and if her mother were to speak out of place she would get a look that almost resembled fear. It had slowly clicked into place that her father was the one leaving the marks on her mother. He would slap her or push her and manhandle her. 

She had been sixteen when her suspicions were finally confirmed because she was caught in her dad's office snooping around in files from the recent trials that had been causing controversy. He had demanded she get out and keep her mouth closed about it, and for the first time in her life she had looked him in the eye and told him no, openly defying him. There wasn't a moment of hesitation before he had hit her across the face, infuriated that his daughter had the audacity to disobey him to his face. 

Her mother had covered up the mark with makeup and made sure the bruise across her cheekbone wasn't visible to be public, and after that Lexa learned her lesson. She only spoke when spoken to. She only ask questions she was supposed to. When her father told her to do something, she did it. She grinds her teeth together at the memory and shakes her head. 

 

“You don't know anything. He's the King and he needs to keep control of the kingdom. He's good to his people. The economy is booming and we have more foreign relations than we have in years.” There is something defensive about her now and she locks her eyes onto the rebel.

 

“Your mother tried to kill him once,” Clarke says without blinking – without thinking as well, since she didn’t want to lay down everything she knew about the things that happened inside the castle. 

 

But she recognized Lexa’s tone of voice. It wasn’t so sure as it was moments ago and the rebel knows that the princess is, at least, considering her words to be true. She only speaks out of insolence and stubbornness, and the blonde girl would smile at that if their situation where different.

 

There is something about the skinny brunette, though. Clarke can’t deny it. It’s all about her eyes and how she gestures her head when she is speaking fiercely, and how her lips move without hesitance as if she were the owner of the world – even is she is a blind fool who knows nothing about what her father, the King, truly is. She takes a deep breath, with her mind already made. She had to try, at least – She thinks and rolls her eyes at herself for acting like a young boy infatuated with a pretty girl – A bloody princess, no less. The rebel crosses her legs and changes her posture, leaning on her arms against her thighs. 

 

“Have you ever been to a farm? Or to the villages?” She asks, already knowing the answer. She is calm, open, and patient. “I know for a fact that the answer is no. I would judge you for that, but I won’t, after all... I assume it can be hard for someone who is privileged to acknowledge their own privileges,” She nods slowly and raises her eyebrows, trying not to sound too harsh. “Listen, Lexa… I’m not saying I agree on how the rebels have been acting all these years, but we started as something meaningful. For a cause. For the right cause. The thing is… Once you start to be beaten, and beaten, and beaten, and bloody silenced when all you want is to be able to fight for a better life, you grow tired and angry and you hit back,” She wets her lips and bites the bottom one, flicking her eyes to the window again. “He beats your mother and I’m betting he has done the same with you as well,” She continues gently now, “He does the same with the whores that visit him during the nights,” She sighs quietly and looks at the girl again, “You say I know nothing, but you are the one who’s been lying to yourself your whole life.”

 

The first sentence that comes out of Clarke's mouth makes Lexa's whole body stiffen and she sets her jaw hard so that her teeth are grinding together. The thing is, this wouldn't be so damn hard if she didn't believe it. Her mother had taken beatings for years, but when Lexa began to grow up and the king decided to beat her into form a perfect princess should fit, her mother had been furious, and she honestly believes that the woman had tried to kill him to keep her safe.

If anyone in that castle looked at her as anything more than a little trading token, it was her mother, but the woman is never allowed to show it. She must be proper. 

 

“Shut up,” She growls, and this time there is something low and warning about her tone, making it clear that this has struck a cord. She listens as the girl's voice drops down, getting more gentle and quiet, like she's talking to some wounded animal. 

 

Lexa just shakes her head again, trying to refuse to listen, but part of her is aching for the truth, and for people to know what it's like in that castle, despite the outside seeming like its the perfect place with the perfect happy family. 

The rebel girl continues speaking about how her mother got beat and she clenches her fist tightly. Every word that comes outbid Clarke's mouth only makes her hurt more. 

 

“Shut up, Clarke!” Finally the girl moves around to speaking about her, saying she bets that Lexa has received the same treatments as her mother, and Lexa feels so many emotions she might just shatter right there, but she manages to choke out, still trembling with anger. “You're wrong. You're a liar, he doesn't!” But she has small marks on her to this day that show she's the one lying here. 

 

The thing that finally makes her snap is the way Clarke mentions the whores from the brothel who come to visit the king. It's too much and she doesn't want to know this, to hear all of this confirmed by someone else. Between the fear and the anger and anxiety that has been pent up in her all day, the princess can't take one more second of the conversation and, without even thinking, she launches herself across the small cell space at the rebel girl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there again everybody, PaperAdventures here. We just want to give you a huge thank you for how well the story has been recieved. Please keep leaving kudos and comments.


	3. Fragmented

Lexa is so infuriated, so scared and a mixture of so many other emotions that attacking Clarke seems like the good choice. As if hitting this girl and forcing her to shut up is the best thing to do, like it will somehow fix all the wounds that she's just opened by thinking back on all of these things that have happened. 

 

If Clarke is being honest, she knew the princess would snap by how shaken and broken Lexa’s voice was. What surprised her, though, was the timing and how it happened. As the brunette girl’s fists comes hard against her shoulder, jaw and chest, Clarke thinks about shoving the princess away – knowing how easily she could do it. 

But she also thinks about how sloppy her hits are, how pinched her breath sounds, how her lips tremble and how her eyes are closed tightly shut – but not hard enough to prevent the tears to trail down the prominent and exquisite cheeks. Lexa's attack is pathetic compared to the way the rebel girl can surely fight, trained since she was only a child and the princess is expecting to get thrown onto the floor, or struck hard in the face – Maybe even for the rebel to pull out the knife and slice her open with it. 

Before she's even realized, her breathing is coming in wrecked sobs and her eyes are squeezed shut in a vain attempt to stop tears from streaming down her face, but it's no use because as she hits weakly at Clarke's jaw, shoulders and stomach, her cheeks have tears streaming down them and she's practically shaking. 

 

So what Clarke does is this: She stays silent, letting the girl hit her, letting her attack her uselessly until she grows tired, and when the sobs start to make an echo around the room, her blue eyes stare at the girl as if she sees right through her, then slowly wraps her arms around the princess and pulls her closer tightly. She recognizes the attack as what truly is: Punches of a broken girl. And she accepts them because she understands it. 

 

The blonde doesn't do any of the things that Lexa expected of her, instead she just sits quietly while Lexa wears herself out and ends up collapsing into Clarke's chest when the girl reaches out around her and pulls them together. At first she struggles and tries to thrash away from the feeling, but after just a moment of being held in place, her body relaxes and stops fighting the woman who now has her wrapped tightly in her arms. 

 

Clarke closes her eyes, taking a long and deep breath, and she feels her fingers trembling slightly as she takes notice of how slim Lexa actually is – despite being a little taller than the rebel. When she opens her eyes, she loosens her grip around the girl – not wanting her to feel uncomfortable –, and swallows hard before moving gently to a better position for the both of them. She blinks a few times because if someone had told her she would be holding the daughter of her mother’s killer one day, she would have punched the person merciless. The thing is: It does feel wrong, but so, so, so right at the same time that she lets her arms fall on the girl’s sides and she lays her head back against the thick bars as she looks up to the uneven ugly dark ceiling.

 

Lexa's body trembles and she keeps crying until she can hardly breath and she's soaked Clarke's jacket. Her fingers dig into Clarke's shirt and she holds herself steady. The rebel girl slowly adjust them so that Lexa's cheek can rest on her shoulder while the brunette continues to shake and hiccup. She doesn't know why, but as if out of habit, her hands grasp Clarke's clothes to hold her close. 

She also can't explain the comfort she gets each time she breathes deeply and is rewarded with the scent of Clarke's hair. 

 

“I hate it. I hate it. I hate it,” Lexa keeps choking out the words between sobs as they sit together in the dark room. 

 

It's unclear if she's talking about the rebels, or Clarke, or her dad, or her life, but she repeats the words until she feels Clarke's gentle touch soothing her and she's just left there laying against the rebel and savoring the comfort she's getting from this girl who should be her enemy.

Lexa feels like some part of her has completely broken, but as Clarke holds her there, gently cradling her, she feels like there is another piece of her that has somehow come together. As they sit these for several minutes, she cries harder than she remembers crying in her life. It's pathetic and saddening, and it's clear that tears from a lot of things the girl has been repressing all happened to escape at the same time. 

She finally starts to calm down when she feels a gentle hand tracing patterns up and down her sides, leaving her hiccuping and with red eyes, lying flat against the rebel while her head rest on the woman's shoulder and she cuddles into the crevice of her neck. This kind of comfort is unfamiliar but it feels good and right then it's very welcomed. Her hand reaches up to softly stroke at Clarke's hair that falls around her shoulders to try to calm herself down. 

The brunette is clearly having some trouble evening out her breathing again, but after a few minutes she moves her hand to Clarke's chest where she places her hand right above the hem of the rebel's shirt where she can feel a steady heartbeat and the rise and fall of Clarke's breath. She closes her eyes and uses that to slowly ground herself again.

 

Blinking slowly as she keeps her eyes up fixed on the ceiling, Clarke swallows hard at how her body fits with Lexa’s, as if it works without a filter; As if she has done the exact same thing her whole life. She doesn’t know who is trembling, really – the princess as she curls herself on the rebel and repeats the same thing over and over and over again in broken and tired whispers, or the blonde girl as she tries to process what is happening and understand the reason behind her lack of reaction. 

She does hate it too, Clarke thinks as she tries to calm her thoughts down. She hates how she was shaped into what she is; she hates how she’s lost her mother, her little brother and the only person she’s ever been with; she hates how the rebel movement should be about fighting for their rights, for their family and themselves, but instead they turned into this disorganized group of people seeking revenge. But mostly, she hates how weak she is for dropping the dagger on the ground every time she tries to end her life. 

 

As she drags her fingers up and down over the princess sides, the rebel sighs quietly and shakes her head slightly at the mess she’s got herself into. That’s not how things should have gone.

 

“I know,” She says throatily, with a resigned but understanding tone of voice. 

 

She thinks about pulling back and setting a distance between them, but again, the right feeling in the pit of her stomach prevents her from moving. So she sighs, closing her eyes for a moment and decides to share something personal, since she knows so much about Lexa’s life.

 

“Abby,” She says in a softer tone, almost a whisper, as she keeps her eyes closed. A ghost of a smile plays in her lips as she remembers her mother’s smiling face for a moment. “She had a light brown hair and hazel eyes and she used to sing for me and my brother to wake us up,” She chuckles fondly, deeply and throatily, and opens her eyes to look out of the window to the sky. “She couldn’t sing for her life, that woman. She was also strong minded and we used to fight a lot. Father says it was because we were both very alike,” She sighs and shakes her head slightly, shrugging her free shoulder before staying quiet again. She doesn’t really know how to open up. 

 

A gentle voice in the dark room is another thing that calms Lexa. At first she isn't sure what Clarke is telling her about, but as the blonde goes on, she assumes it's her family she is talking about. The part of the story that should regularly be happy is that it's in past tense, and Lexa feels dread set into the pit of her stomach. 

 

“Was she your mom?” She manages to get the question out, her voice raspy from all the tears. It’s an obvious question, so she goes on. “Did you lose her? Is that why you came here?” Lexa chokes out the questions and she is surprised that her voice even obeys her enough for her to get them out. 

 

She knows that sometimes orphaned kids come join the rebels because they have nowhere else to go. People who are desperate and have no option will come here because they must, and part of her thinks that must be why Clarke is here.

She lays a long while after she ask, the room stays silent and she just keeps rubbing her thumb across the pale skin of Clarke's chest, feeling the heartbeat and the steady breaths that she tries to match her own too. Her body is splayed out on top of Clarke's from where she had collapsed after she had finished fighting. Lexa's stomach rest on Clarke's side, and her hips are flat against the rebel’s. Her lips are parted just slightly while she rest her forehead against the rebel's neck, feeling how Clarke's hand holds her waist. 

 

She's small enough that just a firm hand is enough to easily move or support her. It would be thought that someone of her status would be better fed, but she has defined hip bones and ribs that can be felt when she's held tightly. They are one of the richest families in the world, but it's likely her parents are the ones encouraging her to eat less and less to keep her form petite and ladylike, as they had described her. 

She reaches up and manages to wipe her face just slightly with her free hand, getting rid of the tears that still streak the skin before nudging her face back into the nape of Clarke's neck where all she has to focus on is the girl's heart and her comforting smell, like pine trees and cotton that she knows so vividly from somewhere but just can't seem to place it. 

 

When the princess’ raspy and low voice reaches the rebel’s ears, Clarke stops her movements for a second before swallowing hard again and continuing to trace random patterns on the girl’s sides. For a second she wished she could feel the warm skin under her touch and not the hard fabric of her dress, but she blinks quickly and the thought – That felt more like a memory – is gone. Instead, she focuses on how nice the princess’s hand feels on her chest. 

The rebel stays quiet for a bit too long, giving the impression she wouldn’t answer, until she opens her mouth and opens her saddened eyes as she glances at the ceiling. 

 

“She was my mother, yes,” she answers lowly with a small nod before closing her eyes and sighing softly. 

 

She knows that there is a possibility that if she answers the next question with the truth, Lexa will jump out of her lap and call her liar, or start to cry again. Either way, Clarke clenches her jaw before biting on her lip and opens her eyes, tensing a bit for not knowing what to expect after her next answer. 

 

“My mother used to practice herbal medicine – you know well how this kind of thing is seen by your people,” She says with a shake of head, pausing to gather her words and to try to stay detached from what she is telling, “She was caught and killed by the king orders, in one of his witch hunt.” She trails her fingers open and drags them to the girl’s lower back before continuing. “I’m a Griffin, princess.” She says cautiously, “Jake Griffin is my father and the leader of the movement. We are here because I lost my mother and he lost his wife and his baby son in one of the king’s antics against his people.” 

 

When the rebel tells her what happened to her mother, Lexa almost wishes she didn't know. That she didn't have that one more thing to blame herself for. Now it’s in her mind and it’s not going anywhere. 

 

“I’m sorry,” She breaths out, knowing she knew that what was going on hadn't been right, but still hadn't said anything. “I’m sorry,” She repeats quietly, and even as Clarke admits who she really is, Lexa doesn't pull away.

 

Of course she's heard about Jake Griffin, the man who is the organizer and the brains behind the rebel’s operations. It should initially be his choice what happens to her, and maybe in the morning he and Clarke will be her murderers, but for now, the blonde is just warmth and soft touches, and it's the safest Lexa has felt in years. 

Maybe she's too tired to care, or too desperate for some sort of solace and comfort that she doesn't care about who Clarke is, or maybe the darkness makes it easy for her to pretend she's elsewhere, somewhere safer. But she doesn't move. She just clutches on tighter. 

She sits there silently for a little while, feeling herself melting into Clarke and holding her tightly, and for once she's being held too, gently, softly, and it's enough to bring a certain peace to her. 

 

“Clarke, do it now,” She breaths out, barely a whisper, like she's afraid to break the moment. 

 

She knows the rebel still has a knife on her, and Lexa decides that if she's going to get killed, she wants it then, while her head is cradled there on the blonde's shoulder and she would feel safe enough to drift away. She places her hand over Clarke's and guides it down to the hilt of the knife so the girl knows exactly what she means and then she places her hand back on Clarke's chest. 

 

“Please do it now,” She keeps her voice down low and lets out a deep breath, her body limp and relaxed against the rebel's despite what she's asking. She doesn't want to be tortured and locked away, she wants to go like this if she has to. Her body trembles gently and her breathing is uneven as she starts to sob quietly, clearly fucking terrified. “Please be gentle.”

 

Clarke’s throat closes up when she hears Lexa’s soft request and her heart races against her ribcage loud enough that she is sure the princess can hear it. She doesn’t move, doesn’t breathe, doesn’t blink. Maybe it was the talk about her mother and the memories that came with it, or maybe it’s the way Lexa curls and clutches around and onto her with need, seeking comfort that the rebel believes only her can supply. Maybe it's all together mixed up with the feeling of finally, finally having a place where she is only Clarke and nothing else exists beyond the both of them. Her fingers tremble under Lexa’s touch as the princess guides it to where she keeps her blade and the blonde girl swallows hard at the cool material under her fingertips she is so familiar with. Without thinking twice, she takes it out and twirls it on her hand with practice for a long moment. 

Lexa closes her eyes and when she feels the blonde reach for the knife and pull it from its sheath and she very slowly reaches for Clarke's hand. She holds onto it tightly and gives it a gentle squeeze, like she prompting Clarke on and letting her know that it's okay.

 

“Be gentle.” She repeats the words again, expecting to feel a blade pushing into her back, but instead she only feels the continuous tracing of Clarke's hand on her waist.

 

Clarke keeps comforting the brunette and in that moment she wonders if maybe – just maybe – that little tale her mother used to tell her about twin souls is true. The rebel in her wants to put distance between them. To get away and turn her back to the princess and focus on the plan. The girl in her is trying to swallow down the lump in her throat because she knows what she will have to do. 

 

“I’m sorry, princess,” She says quietly and this time the girl’s title is spoken with no trace of irony, but softly and with a trace of respect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! PaperAdventures here. I just wanted to let you guys know how updating will work. You can expect updates three days a week, which days I don't know exactly, just whenever it works for both Lexark and I. Depending on how busy we are, you might be getting an extra chapter or two a week, so we will see how that works. Thanks you all so much for the kudos and comments. Please keep them coming! The more comments and kudos we get, the more inspired we are to edit. Also, sorry this chapter is a bit short and left on a major cliff hanger (I'm lying, I'm not sorry about the last part) but you can expect longer ones from here. Much love!


	4. Grumpy Beings

“I can’t.” 

 

The tracing of Clarke's hand and a soft voice telling her no makes Lexa tense. Part of her wants to be angry. If she's going to get killed, the least Clarke can do is hold her and speak softly to her while she does it. She deserves to be killed before they have time to torture her or starve her. She just wants this from the rebel and her heart isn't are whether to break or pound in relief that she's still breathing.

Clarke closes her eyes and digs the tip of the blade down on the ground, before placing her hand on the girl’s waist gently. She licks the cut on her bottom lip from one of Lexa’s hits and she sighs quietly, trying to make peace with her decision. 

 

“Listen to me,” she whispers now, too tired to use her voice, “Once I stand up and leave, I will close the door, but won’t lock it behind me. You understand, Lexa?”

 

The brunette expects the rebel to move away from her, considering that Clarke is finally coming back to her senses, but instead the blonde says something she wasn't expecting. Lexa is so damn exhausted and afraid, that she not sure if she's going to be able to do this, but when Clarke ask if she understands, she nods her head slowly against Clarke's shoulder and pulls back to gaze at her.

Up close, she can see Clarke's little freckle above her lip, and all the other tiny little things about Clarke's skin that was hard to notice from a distance. As a she grew into a teenager, she remembers thinking about how corrupt everything is, and how everything is uglier up close. The kingdom, the family, the law. From afar it looks beautiful. It looks like it's thriving more than it has in years, and it looks like a perfect family. Yet, up close you can see the bruises hidden under makeup, and the vicious laws that are used to keep power, and all the other little things that make the kingdom so awful. 

Yet up close with Clarke, as they sit together in this dark room, she can't help but thinking how wrong she was about it when she believed that everything was like that, because up close Clarke is still beautiful. She's a bit bruised and has a split, but God, she's beautiful. 

When green eyes meet blue, she feels herself leaning forward and lessening the distance between them so that they are only a few inches apart. The room is dark, and the night air is chilly, but up close, all she can think about is the way Clarke's eyes flicker across her face, and the way thick lashes blink together when the rebel shyly gazes down to the side.

 

There are so many reasons of why this is wrong, and Clarke presses her lips together in a fine line before looking down to see uncertain green eyes glancing her. The proximity is something she wasn’t expecting, but as clear blue orbs wander down taking little details of Lexa’s face in until they met the plump chapped lips, the girl become more sure of what she has to do. 

 

“At dawn, when everyone is sleeping, I’m going to leave this room and you will run into the forest, at your left. It’s your best chance to get somewhere safe.” She keeps whispering when her eyes returns to the princess’ ones. 

 

Never stopping the movements of her fingers lightly and soothing and gently over the girl’s back, Clarke wets her lips and averts her eyes before she could think about crossing some lines and making everything worse – or better – the back of her mind whispers traitorously. They have at least a few hours until she has to go, and so she doesn’t move again. She stay where she is, with the light weight of the princess over her body, under the warm and soft touch of Lexa’s hands and printing on her brain the nice smell of the girl’s wavy hair. It makes the rebel think about the last time she ever hold someone like this, and her chin trembles slightly at the memory of being held by Finn. It’s not like they were even able to be an actual couple – much less like they shared any deep emotions, but she did loved the boy even if she knew he loved her more.

The sigh that escapes her lips is long but quiet and she takes a deep breath, settling her mind in focusing on the present – on the way the princess hip bones presses hers, or how she can feel the girl’s breath against the crook of her neck, or how tiny Lexa actually is as her hands wander around the girl’s sides firmly, steading and grounding the her. 

 

“Tell me a happy memory of yours,” She prompts quietly.

 

Lexa smiles softly as she slowly adjust herself to lay her head back on the rebel's shoulder. And when Clarke speaks again, Lexa snuggles closer into her, feeling the slight vibration of her chest as she speaks. She wonders through her memories trying to think of something special to her, something that makes her happy. She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. 

 

“When I was little, maybe like twelve, both my parents were out of the kingdom for a few days because they were going to make a treaty with one of the neighboring royals.” She explains, remembering how it had been Christmas time and it had been snowing for the past several days. “It had been so cold out that I decided to wrap a scarf around my head to cover myself so I wouldn't get recognized and I put on a pair of pants and a jacket instead of my dress.” She remembers with a slight smile. “I was so damn happy when I managed to crawl through the garden to get away from the guards and I ran off through the woods to one of the little villages. It was the first time I had even been out in one of them when I wasn't just passing through in a carriage. I ended up walking around this poor little place in a foot of snow, but I was so excited to be out of the castle, that I thought it was the most wonderful place in the world.” She keeps feeling the gentle movements of Clarke's hands and the way she is supporting her like she's afraid she might break. “I ended up finding a little cat on the side of the road. It was starved and mangy with fleas, so bad that he had little bloody patches on him. I ran over to him and picked him up and that night I snuck him back into the castle with me.” She chuckles quietly. “He was an ugly little thing. Mean too. He would bite me and scratch me. Eventually my parents found out when the came back because I had taken him into the bathroom and was bathing him to get the fleas out and he wailing like I was trying to kill him. It took a lot, but they let me keep him and the grumpy little thing still lives in the castle.” She smiles tiredly and opens her eyes to look up at Clarke.

 

As she listens to the soothing voice of Lexa, Clarke closes her eyes with a small smile on her lips and a relaxed instance. She imagines the young princess running through the awful village and being in awe of everything around her. She pictures then, the tiny angry cat and she can’t help but chuckle throatily at that as the scene plays out in her head. 

 

“You must have a thing for grumpy beings, then,” She comments without thinking on the meaning of her phrase, then she blinks her eyes open as she feels her chest, cheeks and tip of the ears burning and flushing. 

 

Lexa hears Clarke's quiet words and from where her cheek is resting on the rebel's shoulder, she can feel her face and neck heat up with a blush. She hears Clarke's gentle laugh and for a moment her heart starts to beat faster and warmth spreads through her body. It's a comforting sound and just knowing that she caused it makes a certain feeling of content settle in her stomach. 

She knows that the words can be interpreted different ways, but the thought that Clarke has recognized how close Lexa's holding her, or how the brunette instantly relaxes at her fingertips, makes her bite the inside of her lip softly. 

 

“I suppose you're right,” She says quietly and barely manages to get the words out out of fear Clarke were to pull away because of it.

 

But all the rebel does is clear her throat and runs her hand up to the back of Lexa’s neck, tentatively. She drags her fingertips on the warm and so, so, so soft skin first, then she uses her fingernails lightly, scratching there lazily before doing the same on the girl’s scalp, making Lexa take a deep breath of relief when they remain in the same position, finding herself subconsciously dipping her head down to allow the girl to continue. 

The princess can't remember the last time she felt as at peace as she does now, and that's sad considering the situation. She's laying on the floor of a dirty cell room, her long hair now freed of the braids that usually tie it back in intricate patterns. Her ballgown is filthy and ripped, it's long skirt draped out across the floor like a blanket. All the material of the dress must weigh a decent portion of what Lexa weighs herself, but she seems used to the fancily designed clothing that she is given. Being held like this, being touched so gently and so sweetly is something new to her, and she's almost afraid to shift around too much out of fear that the girl will stop.

 

“Are you scared?” Clarke questions curiously, in a low tone of voice after a moment of silence. 

The rebel’s heart is still beating erratically and she knows her hands are a bit sweaty, but she stays and keeps going because they have just met and still it feels more like reencountering. So yes, she runs her fingers through smooth brown hair and keeps holding the princess with a hand on her waist. She knows that it’s very likely they won’t meet again once she leaves and lets the girl escape. She also knows, and accepts, the punishment she will receive for letting the princess run – no matter how good she is at telling a lie. 

 

When a few minutes go by like that and Clarke's voice breaks the silence again, she honestly hesitates about how to answer. She's scared. Of course she's scared, but not of what might be expected. She's scared she will get back and her father will be angry with her. She's scared that she will be forced to bring the guards to this very compound but Clarke won't be gone yet. She's scared that Clarke's own people are going to hurt her for what she's doing.

Sighing, Clarke dares to turn her head slightly and brush her lips over Lexa’s forehead. The touch is light and she can feel now how hot her breath is as it hits the girl’s skin, making her close her eyes and wish for the night to be infinite.

 

“Yes,” She breaths out quietly, and when she feels soft lips grazing her forehead, she squeezes her eyes shut and reaches up, slowly lacing her fingers through Clarke's hair so that she has a gentle grip on her and can pull her closer. 

 

Dragging her fingernails across Lexa’s scalp gently and lazily, Clarke stays with her eyes closed just taking the moment in. She is aware they don’t have much time, but under the touch of the princess hand, the blonde girl just sighs and slightly brushes her lips on the girl’s forehead again as she grips the slim waist a bit harder, squeezing it without thinking, as if she is trying to pull the girl closer unconsciously. 

Their bodies are molded against each other and Lexa’s breath catches every time the rebel's lips gently graze across her skin. She keeps her eyes closed and moves her hand until it rest on Clarke's cheek so she's gently cupping the girl's face and guiding her to stay close. It's so silent now that all she can hear is the beating of her heart going faster in her chest and both of their quiet breaths. 

The rebel doesn’t mind the dirty ground or how her hair is full of knots behind her head or how surreal this all seems to her – Not when she trembles slightly every time she feels the puff of Lexa’s breath hitting her neck so lightly. Nodding once, almost imperceptivity, Clarke softly bumps the tip of her nose on the girl’s forehead as she listens to her low voice. She wanted to ask about what the girl fears, but there are some things a person may never question. She wonders for a second then, but the thought of a scared Lexa – Just as she was hours ago – doesn’t quite suits her well. 

 

“But not of you,” Lexa finally says a few moments later when she finally pulls herself together enough.

 

When the princes speak again, Clarke has to bite the back of her cheeks to prevent her to say something like ‘good’, or ‘I wouldn’t hurt you. Not after… Whatever this is’. She sighs quietly and runs the tip of her fingers over the shell of Lexa’s ear, slowly and gently, noticing just how small it is as she carefully places a very light kiss between the princess eyebrows. 

Lexa closes her eyes and feels how the rebel girl responds to each small touch. She notices how Clarke lets out a shaky breath each time she nuzzles closer to her, and how the girl tightens her grip when she strokes her face. Her breath catches slightly when she feels Clarke's lips on her forehead, but this time they don't just gently graze it, they press lightly between her eyebrows and leave a soft kiss there.

 

“You should,” she says instead. The lie rolling of easily as the beat of her heart goes faster when she trails her fingers on the fine and strong jawline before going up over the bruised cheek and then up to trace an eyebrow.

 

Lexa lets out a shaky breath and she can hear Clarke's response to her when she says she isn't afraid, but nothing changes inside of her. The feeling of content and safety doesn't shift just because of what Clarke says. 

Maybe the rebel is right, and Lexa should be afraid of her and back away from this situation she's in, but it feels too good. Too right. Maybe she should be upset or confused about the way Clarke softly presses her lips to her forehead, but it only makes her heart beat faster in a pleasant way. 

 

“I don’t believe you,” She finally responds to the comment Clarke had made and she gazes up into those blue eyes, watching the blonde while she touches each of her features. 

 

Her tongue peeks out to wet her chapped lips, which now are parted slightly so that she can take a deep breath. She slowly lets her hand that had been holding Clarke's face slip down to rest behind the girl's neck, and she lets her eyelids flutter shut, dark lashes blinking together. It's clear that the sun is going to rise in a few hours, but for now she has silence and darkness and warm arms around her.

Clarke presses her lips together in a small and hidden grin at Lexa’s reply, not really expecting anything less than this kind of rebuttal from the girl. The grin fades, though, as her mouth hangs slightly open at the feeling of warm fingers on the back of her neck, and she sighs, feeling goosebumps there and on her arms. Her grip tightens on the princess waist as a reaction and the rebel girl flutter her eyes shut, enjoying the sensation too much to be appropriate.

 

As the minutes go by, she makes true to her words about trusting Clarke by slowly beginning to drift in and out of consciousness. Now that her adrenaline is finished pumping through her body, she's just exhausted, and she can't think of a better place to rest than in Clarke's arms. Her breathing begins to slow down and her lips remain parted just slightly as her head tilts down off of Clarke's shoulder and instead she subconsciously lays her head against Clarke's chest. Her body slackens and goes limp so only Clarke's strong arms are keeping her propped up into her, and she's laying there in the rebel's arms asleep, leaving herself vulnerable and helpless as she rest, but subconsciously trusting this girl to keep her safe like she has thus far.

Clarke says like that for a long moment, listening to the sound of Lexa’s breath lowering and becoming steady gradually. It takes her aback when she realizes that Lexa does trust her enough to fall asleep without worries. Or the princess is too tired to not care about where and whom she is sleeping with, Clarke supposes. She waits a few more minutes to make sure the girl is really sleeping before she can drag her fingers through the brunette’s hair and, remembering one of the songs her mother used to sing for her when she was a little kid, Clarke starts to hum the notes lowly, carefully to not be loud and wake the girl up, knowing she needed the rest. 

 

As Lexa sleeps, her mind is at ease. At the moment, she isn't stressing about the things she's going to have to do in the morning. She isn't wondering if she's going to make it out of the compound. She isn't worried about what's going to happen to her when she gets back, or to Clarke when they find out what happened. She's just asleep and at peace. She subconsciously grasp at the blonde and occasionally will shift just slightly to hold onto the rebel’s shirt or feel the girl under her as though to assure herself she's still okay.

Clarke’s mind goes back to when she used to play with her little brother close to the lakes and rivers, how he used to splash water on her face and run for his life with her chasing him down. How her father would grab the both of them before jumping back into the water and how mad Abby used to get at seeing the three of them laughing and shivering with soaked clothes sticking on their skin. She wouldn’t frown for too long, though. They would always run to her, hugging and tickling and kissing and soaking her clothes as well just because. 

 

Time seems to slow down and for a little while Clarke herself is in a daze, lost in her memories.

 

A light twist of Lexa’s hand on her neck brings Clarke to the present, and she flicks her eyes up to the window, noticing that it’s time for her to go. Swallowing hard before clearing her throat, Clarke presses her lips against the princess forehead again.

 

“Lexa…” She calls the girl carefully, “It’s time.”

 

When the sun is just beginning to wake up, turning the night shades of grey instead of the pitch black it originally way, Lexa feels herself being roused gently from her sleep with a kiss and quiet words. Maybe she should question the way her stomach clenches every time the rebel girl presses her lips against her head and the way it makes her heart beat faster like the touches from the suitors who would come to the palace never could. 

Very slowly she shifts so that she can blink away the sleep from her eyes and wipe at them with a small yawn. Her eyes adjust to the dim light and she swallows hard when she hears Clarke's next words telling her that it's time for her to leave. She lifts her head from Clarke's shoulder but holds onto her wrist tightly, like she's keeping the girl there. 

 

“No,” She shakes her head even though she knows the blonde is right. “No, I changed my mind,” Her voice is raspy with sleep, but her hair is combed out to its usual smooth appearance by Clarke's fingers. 

 

If she leaves then it's obvious the rebel is going to get hurt, and so she makes no move to stand up. Sure, she's scared for herself as well and what will happen if she's caught, and more than that she's worried for this girl she will leave behind.

Clarke watches as Lexa wakes up slowly. Noticing how she blinks her eyes lazily and yawns briefly – always regal, though, and how she grips the blonde girl’s shirt and wrist hard, as if she is afraid Clarke would just disappear suddenly. 

Sighing and closing her tired eyes for a moment, Clarke presses her lips together in a fine line and clenches her jaw shut. It would be easier if the princess were eager to get home – to her nice bed and clean clothes and warm baths. She should have expected Lexa to be her stubborn self, but her mind was clouded by sleep deprivation and the mix of feelings inside her chest makes the rebel girl feel dizzy. 

Blinking her eyes open again, she looks down at the sleepy and very clear green eyes staring her intently, making her chuckle again, a bit louder this time. She throws her head back, still chuckling – because, bloody hell. Who would have thought? The irony is huge. 

When her chuckles subsides and fades, letting only a trace of grin on her lips, she looks at Lexa again with a raised eyebrow.

 

“No, you didn’t,” She says honestly before raising her hand to tuck a loose stray of brown hair behind the princess icy little ear. “If you stay, I can only guarantee that no one touches you, princess. I’m Jake’s daughter, but they answer to him – not me,” She tells Lexa in a quiet but light voice. “You know that your best shot is running for your life as soon as I leave this room.” Clarke runs her fingers down to the girl’s jawline, her thumb brushing her chin and the little gap under the brunette’s bottom lip.

 

Lexa sets her jaw when she hears Clarke laughing, because honestly it's the last thing she feels like doing right now. She has a choice to make and both sides of it are horrible. She can either stay and face whatever should happen to her here, and at least that way she has Clarke to keep her safe and the girl remains unharmed, or she can try to run away like Clarke is asking and get back to her comfortable bed and servants, but then she threatens Clarke's own life and she must face her father and the impending abuse again.

She wonders if Jake Griffin would kill his own daughter for releasing her. Lexa honestly has no idea, but she knows that the rebel girl is going to get hurt if she goes through with this. Her lips part like she's going to argue more with Clarke, but she has to make her choice. She searches the blue eyes of the girl sitting in front of her and tilts her head back slightly when Clarke starts to trace her chin and lips, making shivers run down her spine. 

 

“You're going to be the one they punish if I escape,” She murmurs quietly, leaning into the soft hand. “So it's not worth whatever is going to happen to for a chance at escaping,” She shakes her head slightly. “I might not even make it and then we are both screwed. I'm afraid of what will happen if they catch me running.” She goes quiet for a moment and gazes at the ground, keeping one hand on the girl to hold her there. As if having a moment of recognition, her eyes perk back up, a new thoughtfulness in them. “Unless you come with me,” She murmurs, searching Clarke's face as she mentions the idea. Of course it would be dangerous to bring Clarke to the palace, but at least there Lexa would have at least some power to protect her, unlike if she stays back here at this place. She reaches up to the blonde and gently strokes her long blonde hair out of her face. “Then you won’t get hurt here. You won’t get punished for my escape because you’ll be gone too. I can keep you safe,” Lexa's eyes are almost pleading, like she doesn't want to lose this one person she's met who treats her gently and holds her kindly. Maybe it's stupid and selfish but she can't help it.

 

Clarke smiles at the girl’s words. Truly, it does sounds dreamy this plan of running away and leave everything behind, like one of those tales her mother used to tell her at night. She runs her fingers through the princess hair again, enjoying the feeling under her touch. 

 

“Come here,” she says as she guides Lexa’s chin up so she can lock her eyes with the girl’s. “I’m a rebel, princess,” She says lowly, flicking her eyes quickly to the window, knowing they have little time now, before fixing them on the green ones. “And I will die as a rebel. There are people who depends on me, there are work to be done, villages to be visited and rebuild. I-… I can’t just go,” She now have her hand on the back of Lexa’s neck, scratching the sensitive skin with her fingernails slowly. “I wish we had more time for me to tell you all about it. About our work with the poor and sick people, about what we do with the things we steal. About how we try to teach the little orphans that come to us seeking protection and food and a place to sleep how to write and read” Clarke says with a small full of pride and passion, “I’m not made for nice clothes and comfortable bed and warm baths, Lexa.” The blonde girl sighs then and, like a moment ago, she drags her thumb up to trace the princess jaw before daring to actually touch the chapped lip, lowering her gaze to where she is touching and watching as the girl’s mouth opens slightly as she grazes the plump curve. “Just like you aren’t made for muddy grounds and dirty clothes and calloused hands,” Her voice drops a tone as she leans in gradually until her nose is brushing Lexa’s and she can feel the warm breath of the princess hitting her own dried lips. “I’m sorry,” she rasps in an almost inaudible whisper.

 

Lexa hears Clarke gentle words as the girl reaches up to hold her face. Lexa is flexible to her movements, relaxing and allowing the blonde to guide her where she wants her until their eyes meet again. She instantly knows just from looking in those blue eyes that the girl isn't going to come with her, and she's not surprised. She starts to shake her head, about to plead with the blonde to just consider it, but as soon as Clarke speaks, her voice is calm and confident, and Lexa already knows nothing she says will change the girl's mind. So instead of fighting, she focuses on enjoying this moment. 

She feels the way Clarke softly scratches the sensitive skin at her hairline and she tilts her head forward slightly, the feeling making her relax noticeably. She hasn't had a relationship, or a first love, or even just a cute boy at some party who she's allowed to hold her close like this. Different princes have come from other kingdoms, sometimes for treaties and other times just simply to meet her and try to arrange unity between their kingdoms through marriage, but the farthest that has ever gone was polite kisses to her knuckles when the young men would bow and introduce themselves. Just this physical contact is new to her. She's always worried about what's proper and ladylike, and having thoughts about someone's body is absolutely unacceptable, let alone a woman. 

Clarke's words make her wonder what these rebels are really like, and if there are more good ones like Clarke. She's been beaten and hurt by them just in these days, but then there is Clarke who is so kind and has all these beautiful ideas and passion, and Lexa has to think that there are others like her. When the rebel finally finished speaking, she gives a soft apology, and she leans in so close that Lexa feels their noses brushing together. She knows that Clarke can feel her breath, so she's self conscious as it noticeably picks up from the close proximity. Their lips are so close, all she would have to do is lean forward and they could connect. She feels Clarke's thumb trace over her lip and she swears it quivers slightly; her green eyes have closed by now, and she knows that if she doesn't leave now, she's going to do something she regrets. 

“I'm going to find a way to repay you,” She says quietly. “I swear,” She wraps both her hands gently behind Clarke's neck and leans forward and to the side just a bit so she can press her lips to the corner of Clarke's mouth, ignoring the way her heart pounds in her chest and everything she's been taught shouts at her that it's wrong.

 

Shutting her eyes closed, Clarke’s breath gets caught as Lexa presses her lips on the corner of her mouth, making her whole body burn and warm up and tremble. The rebel is grateful that she isn’t up, or she would bet her knees would have given up. She lets a small sigh escapes her lips and fights the urge to just turn her head to the side, just a little bit so she can taste the princess lips with hers. 

Despite wanting it more than anything before, she knows that this decision would have to be made by Lexa and only her. So, instead of taking the brunette lips, she slips hers over the girl’s cheek slowly, letting her breath trail her way to the princess ear before placing a gently kiss on the sensitive spot under her earlobe. 

Lexa can feel Clarke's body tense up when she leans in to place the kiss on the corner of her mouth, and for a moment she's thinks she's messed up, but then she can feel the way the rebel quivers slightly and Lexa has the rare and wonderful thought that Clarke gets the same feeling in the pit of the stomach when they hold each other like this. One of warmth and butterflies all mixed into one. She feels the blonde's face shifting away from her and she gets goosebumps on her skin from Clarke's hot breath against her ear, then her lips slowly kissing at the sensitive area right under it, making Lexa tilt her head to the side just slightly and tighten her grip on Clarke. 

The rebel nudges Lexa’s jaw with the tip of her nose and pulls back, blinking her eyes open again to look at the infinite forest that is the girl’s eyes orbs. She doesn’t want promises, especially because she knows how hard is it to keep your word when the two of them are in different sides of a battle. 

So Clarke gives her a half smile and carefully turns them around so she can get up. But before doing so, she leans in to kiss the girl’s forehead one more time. 

 

“Just promise to take care of yourself, princess,” She says with a small nod as she stands up and runs her hand through her hair, trying not to feel cold and void at the lost of contact. 

 

When the rebel pulls away, Lexa's face is just inches from hers and the brunette swallows hard, having the most inappropriate thought that she wishes Clarke's hadn't moved back, that those plump lips were still kissing at her weak spot.

Clarke licks the cut on her lip, feeling it a bit swollen as her mind already works on what to say when her father’s men comes later to find an empty room. She changes her mind about the way she is going to stage Lexa’s escape and, with her mind made, she goes to the door and unlocks it, taking advantage of the moment to look out and check if they are indeed alone. Coming back and trying to avoid eye contact with Lexa, Clarke bends down briefly to take her dagger from the ground.

 

“Don’t look and don’t react,” She warns. 

 

Despite the way Lexa is pleading the girl to come back and sit by her in her mind, Lexa sighs when Clarke gets up and walks over to the door to check the locks while Lexa stands up and combs her hair over her shoulder, her fingers fiddling nervously since the sky is just starting to light up with traces of pink, showing that dawn is here. Her eyebrows furrow at Clarke's words and she begins to speak up.

 

“What are you–” But her question cuts off as she gazes over at the blonde to see her sticking a knife into her own thigh, making Lexa cry out and quickly reach up to cover her mouth. “Clarke!” 

 

With the blade sticking in her right leg, Clarke clenches her jaw and muffles a cry . “Go,” She leans her back against the wall and slips down to the ground before looking up at the hesitant princess. “Lexa! Now!”

 

The blonde knows that people will be suspicious about what had happened, and everyone will know that Lexa can't beat her in hand to hand combat, so the only chance she has of making this realistic is a gruesome choice. 

 

Green eyes are wide with fear and concern and Lexa instantly starts to run over to the rebel as she slowly slides to the ground, but Clarke's shouts at her make her stop, how terrified she is given away in her eyes. She looks completely torn between kneeling down right there attempting to stop the blood flow, and her actual escape, but the way Clarke is looking at her tells her she has to do this now, so with shaking hands and a last glance over her shoulder at the blonde, she opens up the door and disappears down the hallway to her left, holding up the gown with both hands from the ground so that she can run despite the way her hands are trembling and tears prick at her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, Lexark here. Thank you so much for all the support and feedback we are receiving. They are all appreciated. Keep them coming, please.


	5. Reencounter

Two kids runs around giggling and yelling at each other, passing through Clarke’s figure in a blink as she carries the heavy wooden beams over her shoulders. The sun is up and the sky is clear, and the girl can feel her blonde hair sticking on her forehead and the sweat dripping from her jaw. 

Steading the joists on her back with one hand, she uses the other to wipe her face quickly before balancing the beams and stepping forward. She looks at Bellamy as he walks ahead of her shirtless, envying him for being able to work like that while she is stuck with the cotton shirting fabric gluing on her back and stomach. The rebel girl huffs under her breath and walks faster, heading to where they are disposing the material. Once she sets the ones she were carrying down with a grunt, she stretches her back and looks up to the green mountain from afar. A flash of green orbs appears behind her eyes and she sighs quietly, lost in thought as she remembers plump lips, brown wavy hair and long skinny fingers, making her chest warm up. 

It’s been six months, more or less, since she’s met the owner of her thoughts. Sometimes Clarke stays up at night wondering what Lexa is doing. If she is safe. If she is happy with her books and her grumpy cat. If she too misses the heat of her body, the feel of her skin under her touch and the sound of her voice. 

 

“Oi, lil’ Griffin!” Raven, an olive skinned girl with large smile and free spirit shouts at her, waving her hand as she holds two large mugs of beer with the other, Clarke supposes. While she isn’t a fan of alcohol, she doesn’t deny the offered drink as she feels her throat and lips dried under her tongue. 

 

The blonde girl steps closer, taking the cool cup in a hand and gulping the cold drink down quickly with a grimace that makes the Raven girl laugh. As they walk to the covered place on the small balcony, Clarke looks around to check on how their job is coming up. The objective is to rebuild the burnt houses attacked by the king’s angry men and to try to build little gardens so the village can be able to grow and sustain itself again. 

 

“I heard that we will be having help from the people of the other villages later,” Raven cuts the silence with her brown eyes hovering around, watching as some of the men works and chats a little ahead of them. Clarke furrows her brows and looks down to the yellowish liquid on her cup, nodding slowly at the other girl’s information. After a beat, she too looks at the working men and answers shortly.

 

“Good.”

 

Finishing her drink quickly and putting the now empty mug down, Clarke wipes her mouth with the hem of her shirt, exposing her skin briefly. When she looks up, is to catch Raven’s eyes staring at her now covered stomach with a smirk and raised eyebrow. 

 

“Enjoying the view?,” The rebel girl says with a cocky grin, getting shoved away by the other girl as they laugh quietly together. When their giggles subsidies, fading into small relaxed smiles, the blonde girl pats Raven’s shoulder before stepping under the sun again, “See you later, Reyes,” She says with a nod and turns around, heading to where a small group of kids is playing in the grass closer to where the garden is being build.

 

When Clarke approaches them, the red head one – Leopold, if she is not mistaken – gets up immediately and runs into her, throwing his skinny tiny arms around her waist. Clarke chuckles lowly and runs her hand over his hair, messing with it for a second.

 

“Whoa there, little one,” She says with her usual husky voice, “You are getting too strong,” She then gets down on one knee and smiles back at him, confirming that indeed this was little Leo. When they had found him under the ashes of his house, the boy was barely alive. His parents didn’t have the same luck, though. “Soon you will be able to defeat me,” She chuckles and boops his little nose with her index finger quickly before getting up when the boy is called to join his friends. 

 

Clarke sighs as she watches him walking slowly with his injured leg and she places her hand over her thigh unconsciously, rubbing her fingers where she had stuck a blade in months ago. She catches a movement on the corner of her eye and turns to look at the garden, noticing two men and a strange woman working in silence with two little kids around her. The rebel’s stomach churn at the sight and she frowns at her body reaction. There is something about the way the woman moves around and lifts her head with her shoulders squared up that makes Clarke’s breath catch and her heart skip a beat. She blinks furiously because no. There is no way that that woman is who she thinks she is. Without thinking, she steps forward with her eyes fixed on the woman’s figure a few meters ahead.

 

The past six months had been different than Lexa had imagined they would be. When she had ran from that rebel compound, she had expected to be shaken up, but not for the experience to stick with her every day since then. The memories that haunt her are not the ones of being grabbed, gagged, and beaten. It's not the ones of being tied in the cell, terrified and helpless. No, the memories that have stayed with her and played in her head over and over again were those of the blonde haired rebel with the cocky smile and piercing blue eyes. 

She remembers the first night she returned to the palace her clothes were ragged and she was a shaken mess, crying and sobbing desperately, but the first thing her father did was demand instructions to the base. She remembers lying and saying it was too dark, she was too scared to remember. He hadn't believed her in the slightest, and after a few hours she had ended up telling him and saying that her head had cleared.She had only hoped that she stalled long enough for the rebels, no, for Clarke to get away. Luckily, by the time the palace guards had gotten to the old building it was completely abandoned with no trace of the people who had been there before. Lexa had rather had every man in the compound who had been horrible to her get loose if it meant that Clarke was going to get away with them and be safe. 

 

The yelling of one of the kids around her pulls her out of her thoughts and she turns to see two of the young boys laughing and shouting as they race by. She smiles softly, still shocked by the resiliency of the village. It had been burned down just a week earlier and yet everyone seems to have banded together in it to try to help. She too had heard the news of it, and had told her father that she was going out shopping in one of the wealthy districts of the kingdom. It's the same lie she has been telling him every time she visits one of the poor areas, usually bringing books to give to the local kids and some money to spend at the small shops to help the owners. 

It leads her to where she's sitting now, her long brown hair all tied up and wrapped into a tight bun, a stark contrast to the long waves people are used to seeing it fall in. She's wearing a light fabric long sleeved shirt and pants so that she's covered but the heat isn't unbearable. After drawing her attention away from the kids, she focuses back on the task at hand. She had been planting some of the wheat seeds in the freshly plowed garden. With her knees in the dirt and a cloth bag full of seeds slung over her shoulder, she continues to sprinkle them in, occasionally getting joined by one of the younger kids who wants to help.

The two men in front of her are plowing up the earth with rakes to loosen it up for planting and she reaches down with her hand to spread some seeds onto the fresh ground then gently swipe some dirt over them, just enough to cover the tiny seeds but not enough to suffocate them and make it too difficult for them to sprout. She smiles softly when a little boy and a girl who looks like his sister walk over to her, peering at her with curiosity. She sits back for a moment and waves at them. 

 

“You guys want to help? I’ll show you how to do it.” The kids look to be about five years old, and the thought of planting seeds is clearly still a novel thing to them, not a chore like the adults have grown to see it. They are luckily still at the age where everything is exciting. They give her toothy grins and clumsily run over, careful not to step on the seeds she's already planted. "Here, we do it like this." She takes a small handful of the seeds and spreads them out, covering them as she did before and explaining to the kids in her soft voice about why it's important to do it a certain way so the plants grow tall. She then remains kneeling patently and smiling at the kids while they reach their little hands into the bag and start to repeat her motions, eager to try to do well. 

 

Lexa loves working with the children. It's perhaps her favorite part of visiting new villages. Sometimes they are the only people she can speak to without the fear of getting recognized. She has on her peasant clothes and has disguised herself as well as she can, but her posh accident could easily be a give away for her if someone were to really consider. When it isn't so hot, she will wear a scarf over her hair so that it covers her better and you can only really see her face if you're looking directly at her, but at the moment the weather is sweltering and she doesn't bother with it.

 

“I’m going to get a drink. Do you two want anything?” She offers the children as she stands up, but they are preoccupied with throwing the seeds and laughing as they tumble into the dirt. 

 

Lexa just laughs softly and stands up, turning around so that she can go over to the bag she has sitting in the shade of the trees to grab her canteen. As soon as she turns, one person in particular catches her eye and for a moment she thinks she's going insane, because only a few yards ahead of her is the rebel girl from all those months earlier. Those same blue eyes cut into her and she just stands there in shock for a moment, the stray strands of hair that have escaped her bun now sticking to her sweaty forehead.

 

If Clarke wasn’t sure about this woman being Lexa a moment ago, now – looking into big and wide green eyes – she has no doubt. Gazing at the princess face again after so much time makes the rebel stop in her tracks for a moment, with her mouth slightly agape and her messy gold hair flying loose over her face and shoulders. She tilts her head to the side, blinking slowly, as if she is afraid of Lexa suddenly disappearing, and her eyes wander over the slim figure in front of her, noticing the dirt on the girl’s chin and left cheek, making her look adorable and real. 

She takes a tentative step forward, hesitantly, as if the princess is a frail prey and she is the predator. Her heart beats fast against her ribcage and how her chest burns with something she doesn’t really know how to name. As she gets closer and closer to the shocked girl, gradually the sound of the people around her lowers until it completely mutes, leaving her listening to only her altered breathing and her heart beating loudly on her ears. 

Lexa takes a deep breath, feeling like she might be having some sort of dream when the girl begins walking closer to her. It occurs to her that if Clarke is here, it's very likely there are other rebels as well, but at the moment it is the last thing she cares about. She's much more infatuated with Clarke's tan skin and the beads of sweat that drip down her chest, or her messy hair that the gentle breeze blows out. 

Once there is only a foot between them, the rebel eyes takes notice of the trail of sweat on Lexa’s face, going down slowly over her tanned and flushed skin, but before it drips on the ground, Clarke’s eyes are already tracing the lines of the princess eyebrows and the fine bridge of her little nose and down to the dried fleshy lips, and she uses her thumb to wipe it from the girl’s face. The blonde wets her own lips before looking up to the pair of eyes that have haunted her everyday since that night in the old compound. 

Lexa can't help but think that despite Clarke being messy from working and sweaty from the heat just like herself, the rebel still looks as beautiful as ever. She's temporarily frozen, standing there in shock while Clarke approaches her. She's sure she looks like an idiot as she stands there with her mouth agape and her eyes gazing over the blonde taking in every piece of her. 

Someone behind her drops the heavy wooden beam, making Clarke blink awake and suddenly she is aware of everything around them. She clears her throat and steps back before offering her hand to the girl, as if they are only meeting now for the first time. 

 

“Clarke Griffin,” She says with a little smirk playing on her lips, pushing down the countless questions she have – for now, at least.

 

It's not until the girl reaches out her hand that Lexa snaps out of her trance and remembers that there are people who are around them. She clears her throat and reaches up to push her hair behind her ear before extending her hand to shake Clarke's. 

 

"Grace Harrison." She breaths out the name that she's been telling everyone and looks into blue eyes. She's been using her middle name and a fake last so that she isn't identifying herself as royalty in public. She almost looks relieved when she takes the rebel's hand and she doesn't fade away like a dream. She notices the smirk playing on Clarke's lips and lets out a quiet happy laugh. "I can't believe you're..." Her voice trails off. "I thought you were..." Her voice trails off every time she begins speaking and she realizes she still has the blonde's hand in her own with no intention of letting go.

 

Clarke grips Lexa’s delicate hand on hers as she locks her eyes with the girl’s. Her smirk gets larger when she hears the fake name and she can’t help but to chuckle throatily at that. As the princess speaks – or tries to – the blonde girl doesn’t let her hand go, and instead, she rubs her calloused thumb over Lexa’s knuckles, knowing exactly what she means. 

Lexa can't help how her face heats up with a blush when the rebel girl laughs at the fake name and she just gazes down, smiling softly as the blonde takes her in and seems to try to accept this moment just like she was.

 

“I’m great like that,” Clarke says cocky, raising an eyebrow and half shrugging slightly, slipping her hand down before it gets too awkward. They are in public, after all. 

 

It is different, she must say, to be able to see and talk to the younger girl under the light on the sun, as if they were just ordinary people having a chat. She looks over Lexa’s shoulder, her gaze falling on her garden where the kids are more giggling and messing than actually working and her smirk turns into a smile as she looks back to the princess. 

 

“Walk with me?” She asks, but it actually sounds more like an instruction – especially when she turns around and steps ahead. Her eyes wander around as they walk in silence, her mind wondering how and why Lexa is here, getting her hands and knees dirty instead of being inside of her castle, where she would be safe. “Grace, uh?” The rebel inquires as she picks a deserted trail inside the forest that only she knows about.

 

When Lexa hears the blonde's words inviting her to walk, her smile grows noticeably and she is quick to jog to catch up to the girl when she starts walking into the woods. 

 

“I can’t exactly introduce myself as Princess Lexa unless we want to spend another night together in that cell, can I?” She teases back, the same confident tone to her soft voice as there was that night before she had broken down. “Plus, that’s my middle name.”

 

She is thankful for the shade as she catches up to Clarke and they make their way through the forest onto a little path where it is clear no one has been for a while. Different wild flowers have taken bloom on the edges, shaded by the canopy of trees. They are quiet for a while at they walk, presumably to ensure they are out of earshot before they start to speak about something they don't want the others to know. When the sound of the kids laughing and the working chatting and barking instructions fades off to a distant noise, she lets out a breath of relief.

As blue eyes are trained on their patch, careful to check every turn to guarantee that they are indeed alone there, Clarke smirks at Lexa’s words full of tease and confidence. She raises her eyebrows, wetting her lips, and nods to acknowledge and agree with what the princess says. Using her middle name is a smart move – even if her presence around the villages are a dangerous thing, especially since her father now nurtures a giant hate for the girl who supposedly tried to murder his daughter. 

It's strange for Lexa to look at this woman now after so many months have gone by and to still see her just the same. She still gets the very feelings of safety and warmth in the pit of the stomach. Perhaps that is a stupid thing to feel around someone who is openly a leader of the rebel movement against the monarchy, but she can't help it. She knows this girl isn't cruel to her after the way she had held her, comforted her, and eventually even let her out. 

Her green eyes finally look back up to stare over the rebel girl again. She doesn't have any sort of limp so she's happy to see that her leg had been properly healed. 

 

After a few more moments of walking she pauses for a minute to take a deep breath. "Clarke, I’m so glad you’re okay.”

 

As they approach the little but extremely beautiful lake, where the water is clear with a mix of blue and green – much like their eyes – Clarke hears Lexa stopping and turns to face the girl, who now wears a relived smile on her face and her emotions in her words. The warmth she once felt when she was holding this girl returned with full force and the rebel, not knowing how to deal with it, just opens a crooked smile and lifts her chin up to meet the princess’ eyes. It feels different to see such care, honesty and awe towards her in Lexa’s gaze and Clarke is almost sad to have to explain how she is doing so well despite what she did on the cell months ago. She turns around again to face the lake, slowly stepping forward to sit under the shade of one of the big trees. 

 

“I’m the daughter of a healer, princess,” The blonde girl says as she stretches her leg, feeling the muscle pulling and aching around the nasty scar on her thigh – something she grew used to. Undeterred by it, she looks up to Lexa with a cocky smile, “I knew where to stick the blade without actually killing me or doing serious damage.” She shrugs before relaxing her back against the trunk of the tree and averting her eyes to the lake again, falling in a short silence as she fights the urge to spend the rest of the day looking at and touching the girl. 

 

Lexa keeps smiling at this girl ahead of her. Seeing her walking normally is such a relief. So many nights Lexa had sat there replaying their last few minute together in her head, how Clarke had stabbed the knife into her own leg and Lexa had yelled out in horror, beginning to run back over to the rebel before Clarke shouting at her had finally convinced her that she had to leave. She couldn't do anything for the girl and she had to go escaped, so she had ran but the entire time her mind had been on the blonde, hoping she wasn't bleeding to death in that cell. Yet now the girl is back to her smug smile and teasing laughs, and Lexa can't help the way her heart beats faster. 

She has to admit that several times when she would lay in bed unable to sleep, her mind would wander back to leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to the corner of Clarke's mouth. More than that, she imagines what it would have felt like if she had turned just a few inches to the side and placed her lips directly on the rebel girl's. She shakes her head slightly to clear her mind and walks up so she's near Clarke under the shade of the trees by the lake. The water is crystal clear and she can't help how happy she feels. For one of the few times in her life, she doesn't have guards around her and not everyone is treating her like royalty. She's just another one of the peasant girls who's trying to help the local village. It makes sense, what Clarke is saying about having healing experience. It would explain how she managed to stab herself in a place that didn't hit an artery or major tissues. 

 

“Well I’m glad. You had me so worried.” She chuckles slightly when she has another thought. “At least all the rebels think I’m badass enough to stab you now.” She quirks her eyebrow and has a tiny smirk playing at her lips. 

 

Lexa knows that it's irresponsible of them to be out here in the forest instead of with the rest of the people still working, but after the long days they have both had, they deserve to have this time together. She walks over to the lake and gazes back at the rebel. She sits down next to it and reaches into the water. She cups some in her hand and cleans off her face then smiles at Clarke, seeing how she seems to be off in her own little world as she thinks about something else. Lexa bites the inside of her lip, a mischievous look to her eyes as she swipes her hand in the water to splash a pool of it at Clarke.

The rebel is rubbing and massaging her thigh absently, lost in thought and feeling at complete peace when she is hit by the splash of water, making her flinch and blink her eyes, surprised by the sudden movement, before she sets her eyes on the smirking girl in front of her. She raises her eyebrow, masking the urge to laugh, and purses her lips instead.

 

“So that’s how a girl is repaid by freeing and saving the beloved princess then,” She says in a faux vexed tone of voice as she slowly gets up with calm movements, never breaking their eye contact. “I see…” The blonde girl runs her fingers through her golden hair, fixing her locks in a messy bun, and walks slowly to where Lexa is seated. With her gaze still fixed intently into the green eyes, a small smile gradually forms on her lips as she raises her hand to touch the princess shoulder, feeling just how bony the girl actually is now that she is free of her dress. 

 

Lexa smirks widely as the blonde girl stands up from the lakeside. She can see the amusement in Clarke's eyes, but the girl is clearly trying to contain it, putting on a fake annoyed expression instead. Lexa remains sitting there in a relaxed posture, her back turned to the water so that she can watch as Clarke makes her way over. The girl walks in long confident strides, her hips swaying back and forth.

The princess swallows hard as the blonde gets down and begins leaning closer to her, anticipation that she can't justify bubbling up in her stomach. At first she manages to keep the smug smirk on her face, but as soon as the rebel leans forward and begins slowly stroking up the back of Lexa's neck, the girl relaxes and her plump lips part just slightly so she can let out a breath.

Clarke leans in enough to let just a few inches between their faces as she drags her fingers up, touching the warm skin of Lexa’s neck first, using her thumb to rub the girl’s pulse point, feeling the princess’s heart beating fast – just like hers. Clarke’s eyes wanders over the brunette’s wet face, noticing the water drops in her forehead, cheek, nose and chin, and the rebel uses her thumb to wipe each one of them without rush, before grazing the girl’s bottom lip lightly. 

Clarke seems to know all the slight movements to calm the princess and make her putty in her hands. When she rubs the brunette's pulse point, Lexa tilts her head just gently to the side, encouraging the girl to continue. The contact feels just as good as she remembers it did and she still gets the same chill down her spine. 

 

“I’m glad you are okay too, Lexa,” The blonde says with a raspy voice and return the girl’s gesture from that night: She closes the gap, and tilts her head to the side before pressing her lips on the corner of Lexa’s mouth gently. She then brushes her lips on the girl’s cheek, trailing her way to the little ear, “Don’t ever mess with a rebel,” she says with a large and hidden smirk with lips against the shell of the princess ear, “And don’t be mad.” She pulls back before pushing the girl into the shallow lake.

 

It doesn't even register with her what the rebel's words mean, and before she can figure it out, she's getting pushed back into the lake, her green eyes suddenly wide. She's briefly submerged under the water and she comes up gasping at the shock of the cold on her hot skin. Her long hair has fallen out of the bun and now sticks to her back and neck, the same as her long pants and shirt. 

 

“Clarke!” She shouts out in surprise, still up to her shoulders in water. She can't help laughing at the amusement on the rebel's face and she raises her eyebrows. “So this is how we’re playing?” To be honest, the lake is beautiful and refreshing after being sweaty all day, so she isn’t at all upset.

As the girl falls into the water, Clarke chuckles loudly watching the proper princess shouting her name with her now damp and messy hair sticking on her shocked face. The rebel steps closer to the lake and squats down wearing a large smile on her lips as she hears Lexa’s free laugh. The rich sound is addicting, truly, and it makes the blonde girl bite the back of her cheeks as she thinks about how bloody smitten she is by this girl. 

As swiftly as she can in her water bogged clothed, Lexa jumps forward and reaches up to grab Clarke's wrist. 

 

“Well if you like water so much, at least come and join me.” With that, she tugs the girl in the pond and laughs at the big splash and the surprise on the rebel's face as she's dragged into the cold water.

 

Clarke blinks and looks at her arm when she feels cool hands gripping on her wrist and up, quickly, to the mischievous expression on Lexa’s face. Before she could think of stepping back, the princess is pulling her forward and she is falling on the water in a blink. When she comes up, gasping like the brunette girl did just a minute ago, she laughs hard. 

As Clarke pops her head up from the water, she too seems shocked by the splash of cold water. Lexa just grins and when she hears Clarke laughing, she can't help following along and joining in because it's one of the most beautiful noises she had heard in a long time. Right now they both seen so carefree. They are alone in the forest but close enough to the town to feel safe, and unlike last time, they don't have anything they need to worry about. 

The brunette's nose crinkles up when she laughs and her eyebrows furrow together just hardly noticeable. They are both soaking wet with their hair and clothing sticking to their skin, but neither of them seem the least bit concerned with it. The sun is still shining down intensely, but the water is a welcome treat to help her cool off, so she dunks her head under the water again to officially release her hair from the bun she had tied it into and to wipe off any remaining traces of dirt from her face. 

Clarke throws her head back and closes her eyes as she relaxes into the water and supports herself on her elbows. It was just like when she was a kid. The old memory hits back again and she is left with a pleased crooked smile as the water drops from her face and hair. When she opens her eyes, is to look at the soaked girl in front of her. She chuckles quietly and shakes her head slowly with a little smirk on her face that gradually fades as she keeps looking and looking at Lexa in an almost longingly way. 

 

“Was there, in one of your countless books, an explanation about how someone can miss another when they barely know each other?” Clarke asks very, very quietly.

 

Her green eyes are set firmly on Clarke and the notices how as the girl looks at her, the cocky smirk on her face slowly faded away, beginning to get replaced with something else. It takes her a moment to place the way she's being looked at. It's not with just lust like some of the princes will gaze at her with, but it's something more than that, something deeper that's craving attention and connection. It's longing, it's /want/ in those blue eyes, and Lexa is sure she's reflecting the same way back. 

The brunette wades over to the side of the pond where Clarke is resting herself on her elbows. She hears the rebel's question, and it's so quiet that part of her thinks she must have imagined it, but the way Clarke is searching her face makes Lexa think the question had been real. The thought that Clarke thinks about her, even misses her when she's gone makes her heart skip a beat. 

 

“I’ve read every story I can think off and none of them come close to explaining how I can think about you so much.” She pulls herself forward so she can steady herself in the water on Clarke's shoulders. She reaches one hand down until she finds Clarke's hand and guides it up to her waist, like she's giving her permission and asking her to hold her there. “Or how I can want your touches like this.” She lets both her elbows rest on Clarke's shoulders so that she's using the blonde as an anchor and she is once again pressed lightly against her, green eyes slightly dazed looking from being held so close again. She slowly lets both of her arms snake around the back of Clarke's neck so she's holding her and at this point she doesn't even know what she's doing. Worrying about what's proper is clearly in the back of Lexa's mind right now and she's only focusing on what makes her feel better.

Clarke stays silent as she listens to the words spoken to her and watches the girl moving closer, touching her shoulders and using her as a support. She looks down to see through the clear water, Lexa’s hand touching and holding hers before guiding it to her own waist. She swallows hard and glances up to look into the girl’s intense green eyes, full of warmth, and want, and need. The rebel’s hand grips the brunette’s waist firmly, anchoring the girl down against her in a silent request for the princess to stay. She drags her thumb up under the hem of the girl’s shirt and shivers lightly at the contact, making her mouth open slightly letting a warm puff of breath out. 

 

“Yes?” She asks with a raspy low voice as she moves her other hand to touch Lexa’s thigh, dragging her fingers up deliberately with a solid and careful grip. The rebel hums throatily, licks her lips and tilts her chin up so she can brush the tip of her nose against girl’s, “Tell me,” She is almost whispering now as she pulls Lexa closer with easy. Closing her eyes, Clarke draws her nose down to the girl’s cheek, grazing her lips on the hard jaw very lightly and cat-like. She lets her breath hit the princess skin as she trails her way down with an open mouth to the brunette’s neck, breathing in the scent of the girl and pressing her lips on the throbbing pulse point before going up to the sensitive spot under the small and icy earlobe. She uses the tip of her tongue there, somehow knowing she is hitting the girl’s weak spot. “What else do you want, princess?” She asks as she brushes her wet lips on the shell of Lexa’s ear. Under the girl’s shirt, she moves her fingers to the brunette’s lower back and presses them there, bringing the princess’s hips forward as she uses her other hand to rub the girl’s thigh with her thumb.

 

Lexa lets out a breath of relief and she feels the warm grip on her skin. This is what she had been missing all those months since they had last seen each other. She had been craving Clarke's touch and Clarke's lips, and she knows how wrong it is but she can't help it. She feels Clarke's thumb raise up under her wet shirt and begin rubbing her back, and she presses herself a bit closer; her eyes close for a brief moment and her lips part slightly when the blonde begins slowly rubbing her thigh. 

 

“Clarke,” She breaths out the name quietly and feels as she's pulled even closer. The movement against her thigh sends chills down her spine and every time Clarke rubs slowly upwards, the princess is hyper aware of the movement. The blonde leans forward and Lexa can feel hot breath against her skin, then the very light graze of lips running over her jaw and down to her neck where her pulse is racing far more than what is appropriate. Seeming to know her body better than Lexa does herself, the blonde nudges the brunette's head just slightly to the side to kiss under her ear. Clarke's hand is moving up under her shirt to press their bodies flush together then the girl's tongue is flicking across the sensitive skin and it's so much at once for her to adjust to, but she just wants more. 

 

She's so caught up in the moment that Clarke's words take a moment to comprehend because she can only focus on the raspy low tone of her voice. Her breathing is picking up and she just presses her blunt nails into the back of Clarke's neck lightly as she holds her. She doesn't trust her voice not to betray her, so she takes a moment to open her eyes so she can gaze at the girl in front of her, her pupils now more dialed than they were before. 

Clarke hisses at the feeling and she pulls her head back from the brunette’s ear just enough to look up to the girl’s eyes as she nibbles the corner of her own lip. Running a single finger up over the princess’s spine, the rebel takes notice of just how dark the green orbs are; how the breath that escapes Lexa’s slightly agape lips are shaky and heavy. 

 

“More.” Lexa breaths out quietly. And before waiting for Clarke's reply she gazes down to the rebel's lips and searches her face for a moment before leaning in and pressing their lips together. It's Lexa's first kiss, so it's slow to begin as the brunette slowly adjust to the feeling of Clarke's mouth against hers, but then she's pulling the girl closer to her and parting her lips slightly, finally getting the feeling she has been craving since that night all those months ago.

 

The blonde girl licks her lips and opens her mouth to say something back, but before she could, the girl is leaning in and slowly pressing her soft and fleshy lips against hers with a trace of hesitancy that gets lost after a few seconds. Groaning throatily into the kiss, Clarke moves her hand up to the back of the princess’s thigh, just under her ass, with a harder grip. Opening her mouth, the blonde girl skillfully flicks her tongue over the girl’s bottom lip before slipping it between her lips, deepening the kiss as she pulls her hand from under the brunette’s shirt so she can lace her fingers with brown damp hair steadily. She pulls back after catching Lexa’s lip between hers, sucking and grazing her teeth over it before letting it go with a quiet ‘pop’. 

Lexa hears the quiet noises that are coming out of Clarke's mouth, the hisses and the groans and she can't help the way her body flushes with want when she hears them. When she kisses her, the blonde instantly takes over and takes the lead. The blonde flicks her tongue over the princesses bottom lip, and Lexa takes just a moment to react by parting her ips and granting Clarke the entry that they both want. The feeling of Clarke's tongue skillfully caressing against her own and then the roof of her mouth makes her moan lowly. She feels how Clarke reaches up, grasping directly under her ass, and Lexa's body arches against her out of instinct. She's aware of her pressing their chest flush together and then the blonde is taking her bottom lip and sucking on the already swollen skin before releasing it once again, leaving their faces close together and Lexa with a feeling she has never experienced in the pit of her stomach. 

Clarke feels like her body is on fire and she licks her lips as she opens her eyes to glance at the girl. The ‘more’ is echoing on the back of her head and she doesn’t know if it’s the princess’ voice or if its her own screaming at her with need. So the rebel girl loses her grip on the other girl’s hair, bringing her hand down to cup the her jaw and drags her thumb over the now swollen lips she had just kissed. She looks, and looks, and looks at the girl with her own lips parted and her breath unsteady until she can’t help herself but to pull Lexa close until their foreheads are touching and their noses brushing. The “Lexa,” is whispered when she closes her eyes; when there is a fight within her and the rational part is losing; when she can’t stop her own lips from touching the girl’s again before turning down to nibble and bite and suck the smooth skin of the princess’s neck with wanting.

For a moment they remain resting like that, Clarke and her both breathing heavily and looking at each other with darkened eyes. Then she hears her name, and God, it sounds so raspy coming off of Clarke's lips and so low. She lets out a needy whine in response and then the blonde's lips are pressing against her neck, but not as innocently. This time they are open-mouthed kisses and then there is a new feeling all together as the blonde bites down on the sensitive skin, and maybe she shouldn't like it, but damn she does. She tilts her neck to the side to expose the column of her throat to Clarke and lets out gasp and moans whenever the girl's teeth sink into her sensitive skin a little bit harder.

Maybe it's not so much the physical feeling of Clarke's bites and sucking as much as it is the mental satisfaction. Right now she doesn't feel like the princess, or like her father's little doll to auction off, she feels like /Clarke's/. With that in mind, she reaches down and feels her own breathing grow impossibly heavier as her hands slip away from the back of Clarke's neck and instead reach down to her breasts. Her inexperienced hands caress the sensitive skin over Clarke's shirt, and then she's softly rubbing and pinching the hardened nipples between her fingers. She knows how wrong this is, her letting someone do this to her, let alone a rebel, but she wants Clarke. Needs Clarke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, PaperAdventures here. Hope you are enjoying the story. Please comment down below. I love talking with you guys and hearing you opinions. Also remember to leave kudos if you want an extra chapter this week, because Lexark and I are fairly sure we will be able to get it to you.


	6. Unstoppable Force

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, Lexark here. Please be warned that this chapter - and the next one as well - has explicit sexual content, alright? If that's not your thing, it's ok to skip it.

As the hands of the princess goes down to touch her breast and hard nipples, Clarke’s mouth let go of the girl’s skin and lets out a low and husky moan close to her ear. As a reaction, she moves her hand up to grip Lexa’s ass, pulling the hips of the girl impossibly closer against her. She drops her hand from the girl’s jaw to touch her waist again, pulling the shirt slightly up so she can run her palm up on the cool skin over the brunette’s sides, dragging her thumb over the prominent ribs under the girl’s right breast. The blonde girl uses her thumb up to graze up over sensitive skin, very slowly, before she circles the stiffened nipple and pinches it between her fingers. 

Lexa lets out a deep breath, feeling Clarke's body's reaction to the fondling. She feels one of The rebel's hands on her ass, squeezing and pulling her impossibly closer so with every little movement Lexa makes she's rubbing into the blonde. It feels so natural and so good, letting Clarke guide her body so when a hand slips up under her shirt and Lexa automatically lowers her head to Clarke's shoulder. The girl's hand drags up her ribs and Lexa feels her body being briefly inspected before the blonde's hand finally reaches up and toys with her breast. The first gentle movement of circling her hardened nipple is so light, causing her to let out gentle whines of pleasure. When Clarke then pinches down more roughly and rolls the bud between her fingers, Lexa's fingers tighten in soft blonde hair and her breathing is becoming more uneven, and she occasionally presses her hips instinctively closer and shifts subtly to get friction.

Clarke knows she isn’t touching Lexa like a frail little thing that can break at anytime. But that’s because somehow she knows that the trembling girl under her mouth and hands is strong and real and she feels very, very much hers as the rebel takes her earlobe between her teeth and hears the soft needy sounds escaping the princess’ mouth. It’s then that she lowers both of her hands down to grip Lexa’s thigh and pull them up to her waist. She then pushes both of them in a sitting position by the edge of the lake as she presses her lips on the shell of the girl’s ear. After a quick nibble there, she runs her hands up to the girl’s ass.

 

“Hold tight, princess,” She says quietly just before she stands up with the girl curled around her torso. 

 

Lexa feels a disappointment as Clarke removes her hand from her chest, but then she feels two strong grips on her thighs and she wraps her legs around the girl tightly when she's prompted to do so. She squeezes her legs tighter than she needs to just to press herself against the girl's waist. When she’s lifted up from the water, Lexa holds on tightly to her and softly scratches her nails into the rebel's shoulders. 

Clarke notices just how light the brunette girl actually is when she walks out of the pond, both of their clothes dripping as she carries her and goes to where she was seated a moment ago under the large and tall tree. She crouches down with care and looks up to the green eyes as she lays the princess on her back, covering the girl’s body with her own.

Lexa’s green eyes stare into blue ones and as Clarke carries her under the tree, the strength of the girl makes Lexa unintentionally grasp at her harder. She leans her face down into Clarke's throat and begins peppering kisses and running her tongue up the skin, only pausing when she feels herself being sat down then slowly laid back. 

The grass under her is soft and she briefly notices the little clovers and small purple flowers she used to always collect as a child growing around them. Her damp hair is sprawled out around her and her lips are swollen from kissing as she gazes up at Clarke who looks unbelievably beautiful situated above her. Lexa reaches up to gently touch her face and take a moment to consider what she's doing. She must be one of the most protected girls in the kingdom, and her body alone is all that she needs to have for any one of her potential suitors to take her and have the possibility to unite kingdoms and gain wealth through marriage, yet she's laying here under the rebel girl with the piercing blue eyes and she relaxes back into the grass, giving her a soft smile.

 

“Clarke.” She breaths out the name and closes her eyes, pulling the blonde down until their noses are brushing and she's holding her tightly. “What if somebody comes by here?”

 

Brushing their noses together as she rests her forehead against the girl under her, Clarke places her hand on Lexa’s waist for a moment before running her fingers up under the girl’s soaked shirt just like she did a moment ago. This time, though, she is gentler and slower – actually paying attention to the feeling of the girl’s skin under the touch of her fingertips. She have her eyes closed and stays like this after the question made. The back of her mind had already yelled at her at this possibility and she had already thought of a way to deal with being caught. She isn’t worried about being caught with a girl – Everyone on the rebel’s camp already knows this. She likes both men and women and she doesn’t give an extra thought about labels and how some people don’t agree with her way of living. So, really, if someone comes by, she would just smirk at the intruder and pull the princess face to the curve of her neck. She doubts anyone would recognize Lexa in this condition anyway. 

With a little crooked smile, she nibbles the taller girl’s bottom lip before kissing it and pulling her head back just enough to blink her eyes open and look at the green orbs. She drags her thumb up over the girl’s ribs, slowly counting them one by one mentally before reaching the base of her breast. She stops there, with her rough and calloused thumb grazing the sensitive skin, not wanting to push more than she already did. The rebel props up her head on her right hand and slips her leg between the girl’s. 

 

“I have it under control,” She answers after a few minutes in a quiet voice. She looks down to where her hand is and bites her own lip before looking up to Lexa again, “Is this okay?” She asks in a whisper as she slowly runs her thumb up to caress the hard nipple in a light touch.

 

Lexa takes a deep breath and runs her fingers through Clarke's blonde hair, feeling how the girl becomes more gentle as she traces up each one of her ribs. She's skinny so her bones are defined in all the right places, even on some places that they shouldn't be. It's been the new thing for the noble girls to be small. It's not even for the physical beauty of being so skinny, it's more about the obedience of it, of being told not to eat more and listening. It's a twisted way of thinking really, but it's obvious it doesn't matter. When Lexa is told to do something she does it. When she's told to sit quietly, she does it. When she's told to turn a blind eye to what's going on in the castle, she does it. That was, until a few months ago. Clarke had opened up her eyes to what was going on, and for the first time in her life she is going behind her father's back. 

When she suppose to be in the luxurious cities buying ballgowns, she is now volunteering in villages that have faced the brutality of the castle knights, and despite the marriage arrangement her father had been fussing about for the past few weeks, she's now laying in the grass under Clarke, feeling callused fingers beginning to circle around her nipple and instantly draw her out of her thoughts and makes her arch up just slightly into Clarke's pressure. 

The girl's leg slips between hers and before she can even think about it, she presses herself down against it. Her hand slips down to grab Clarke's thigh and pull it up so it’s pressed against her and she lets out a breath of relief. 

Clarke shuts her eyes closed, slips her head down to the girl’s shoulder and lets out a loud groan when she feels Lexa pressing down on her thigh and pulling it up to increase the pressure between her legs. The gesture sends a chill up her spine and a burn on her stomach and oh, she knows just how slick she is getting between her own legs. Pulling the air through her teeth, the rebel pulls her head back to look into the girl’s eyes as she nods at the princess’s words and rocks her hips forward just once.

She hears how Clarke says she has this under control, and in that moment she doesn't care. She doesn't care that they could get caught, or if she loses her value, or whatever else will happen, she just wants this girl who is gazing down at her. She hears Clarke's gentle voice and she looks up at her for just a second before nodding her head. 

 

“This is okay. I want this,” She smiles and tries to clear her head from all the thoughts running through it. Before she can talk herself out of it she sits up, her face only a few inches from Clarke's. 

 

She doesn't break eye contact as she reaches down to the bottom of her own shirt and pulls it up over her head. Her face flushes with warmth and turns bright red as she gazes at the girl in front of her. Then before Clarke has time to say anything she wraps her arms behind the girl's neck and leans forward to kiss her, slowly laying herself back down in the grass.

When the girl sits up, Clarke frowns slightly and bites her lower lip with an expression between confused and curious that fades away once she watches Lexa reaching down her own shirt and taking it off, exposing her bare torso to Clarke’s amazed stare. First, she notices the little freckles beautifully spread over the girl’s chest that makes her hand itch with want to carefully touch each one of them; then, her eyes hover down to see a pair of small but well-rounded breasts with two brown-ish nipples pecked up. The sight makes the rebel’s breath caught in her throat, but before she could touch or say something, a hungry mouth is claiming her lips and she is being pulled down again. 

Lexa is kissing Clarke more confidently now, parting her lips and brushing her tongue over Clarke's bottom lip, then flicking it over the roof of her mouth. She feels the girl sucking on her lip hard and she just tangles her fingers in blonde hair, letting out a throaty moan when the girl on top of her presses her thigh up harder between her legs. Her eyes close and she feels soft lips pressing against her neck biting and sucking.

The rebel presses her knee up harder against the girl and grips the princess’s waist strongly. Rocking her hips forward, Clarke moves her mouth to the girl’s neck, biting and sucking her way down, wanting to mark every spot, but fighting her urge back. As her hand goes up over the brunette’s ribs, her thumb grazing and caressing the bare skin, the rebel girl slips the tip of her tongue on the shell of Lexa’s ear teasingly, blowing a delicate puff of air there as she works her thumb over the rough nipple, skillfully pinching it and rolling it between her fingers. 

 

“Clarke…” She whines out the name loudly when the rebel girl begins rocking her hips so her thigh rubs up against Lexa's core. She holds tighter to Clarke and begins to arch her back up so she can meet the movements and grind down on the blonde's leg. She's breathing hard and her body is so heating up. When she feels Clarke stroking over her nipples she starts to bury her face in the girl's shoulder, trying to adjust to this stimulation when she's never been touched like this before. 

 

“Tell me what you want, princess,” Clarke says with a smirk, her lips brushing the girl’s ear before moving down to the crook of her neck, tasting the skin with her tongue as she lowers her mouth slowly, tasting, testing, experimenting and taking her time to feel the little tremors she is causing every time she grazes her teeth in a sensitive spot. When her lips brush the unattended nipple, she looks up to Lexa’s face wanting to watch the reaction to her tongue slowly circling the hard bud before she takes it into her mouth in a hard and lingeringly suck. 

 

She hears Clarke's question and her lips part like she's going to answer, but she can't put the words together to tell the girl what she needs. Clarke pulls away from her and she's about to protest but before she can, Clarke is gazing at her through thick lashes and moving down to lick across her pebbled nipple then take it in her mouth and suck hard. Lexa arches her back up off of the ground and moans out in pleasure, holding Clarke against her nipple and encouraging her to continue sucking. She stays like that for a minute, holding the blonde against her chest and leaning her forehead into Clarke's hair while her heart races in her chest. It's only when the girl releases her breast with a pop that she finally lets out a deep breath and forces herself to think coherently enough to form words to respond to Clarke, seeing how the rebel is staring up at her with a smirk while she lightly kisses her sensitive skin.

The princess swallows hard and she imagines what she wants this girl to do. Her green eyes are blown with lust and she continues grinding slowly on Clarke's thigh, realizing how wet she's become from the entire situation. 

 

“I want you to take me however you want to.” She rasp out, reaching her hands down to Clarke's ass so she can pull the girl closer and get better friction. She's hasn't been in charge of herself her whole life, but now as she's laying here under Clarke, it's different. This time she wants to be like this. She wants to give herself to this girl and let herself belong to someone who she cares about.

 

Clarke swirls her tongue around the girl’s nipple, nibbling it and lapping it playfully as she watches Lexa’s face intently, feeling the girl grinding down against her thigh and arching her back for more. One thing is for her to feel and watch the girl reacting to her touches – the dilated pupils, parted lips, and little moans; another thing is for her to hear the words spoken out loud, confirming that the princess is, indeed, giving herself to the rebel eagerly and by her choice.

There is something almost poetic about this, Clarke thinks. She is strong and artful and all tactical. She could easily take Lexa down without much trouble. Smash her. Break her. She is the enemy, the chaser, the danger. She is the epitome of what someone like this girl should avoid and fear. Yet, here she is with her brown damp hair spread around her head on the grass and with her chest exposed, rocking her hips with want and seeking the blonde girl with need. Like she is here in despite of all of this. Stubborn, fearless, brave Lexa. 

Wetting her lips slowly, Clarke lean up and press her lips on the corner of the girl’s mouth, without closing her eyes or breaking the visual contact. With sure and care, she moves her hand down, leaving a swollen nipple behind and slips her leg down, creating room for her hand to cup the princess’s sex over her pants. She lets a shaky breath escape through her lips when she presses her middle finger on the girl’s core and rubs it slightly, teasingly, not want the girl to have her orgasm before she can truly enjoy it. Clarke knows that she is probably the first person to ever touch Lexa like this, so she knows that the girl is hyper sensitive and that much stimulation would make her come with easy. So she tilts her head back to glance down as she stops and reaches for the girl’s hand before guiding it to where she was touching. She then looks back at Lexa and leans down to press her lips on the girl’s ear, 

 

“Touch yourself slowly, under your pants, and tell me just how wet you are.”

 

Lexa swallows hard and keeps her eyes glued to the blonde on top of her. She's giving herself to Clarke, laying there with her chest bare and her soft skin resting in the grass around. The rebel girl pulls herself up to place a kiss on Lexa's mouth with slow, deliberate movements and the brunette lay there with her chest rising and falling quickly as she gazes at the power in the way Clarke moves and the control in her eyes. In this moment, Lexa can't help thinking that she would do just about anything this woman asked her to. She's ruining her underwear and completely needy. So when she feels Clarke's hand grip through her pants to feel her core, she clutches to the blonde's shoulder and leans her head back, letting out a throaty moan. 

Part of her expects the girl to undress and take her right there on the spot without another moment's hesitation. She expects the rebel to pin her down and take away every drop of power she has, to make the princess know that while she might have nobility, she's weaker and in this situation she isn't in charge. The thoughts that run through her head make her whine and she spreads her legs further to allow Clarke's middle finger to keep rubbing through her pants, making her inner walls clench tightly around nothing. It's only when the blonde reaches up to take Lexa's hand and place it lower on her own body does the brunette realize what's going on. 

Her eyes open up and she continues letting out shaky breaths. Her modesty aside, Lexa looks straight into blue eyes as she reaches her hand into the pants, staying on the outside of her underwear but slowly beginning to rub herself. Her clit is stiff and sensitive, and for a moment she just stays right there, taking sharp breaths when she rubs herself a particularly pleasurable way, clearly discovering her body for the first time. Through the haze, she remembers Clarke's instruction and reaches her hand inside the panties until she can slowly run her fingers across the folds of her sex, making herself shiver. Her fingers glide easily through them from all the slick wetness that has formed, coating her fingers and the inside of her underwear.

 

“I’m so wet, Clarke.” She breaths out, this girl who is so modest she wears long sleeves down to her wrist and ankles every day of her life, now touching herself for Clarke's enjoyment. “I can feel it on my thighs. I’m practically dripping for you.” Her voice is quiet and full of lust and she keeps her hand in her pants slowly rubbing and playing with herself.

 

Lexa quickly becomes entranced with her own body and the feeling that she's giving herself. She slowly pulls back the hood of her clit and rubs it in slow circles, feeling how she tightens and clenches around nothing and her whole body shudders.

Clarke watches as the girl touches herself and notices the green eyes full of lust and want and oh, so clear and open. She wishes then, that she could see through the girl’s pants how she slips her long fingers over her folds and touches her sensitive clit slowly, curiously, testily. When Lexa finally answers her, the rebel closes her eyes briefly, feeling just how wet she herself is at the image of the girl’s being soaked for her. When she opens them again, is to look down at where she can she the little movement under the princess’s pants and she licks her lips as she holds the girl’s wrist and pulls the girl’s hand out. She notices how wet Lexa’s fingers are and, turning her eyes to look into the green ones, she guides them up to her own mouth. 

She parts her lips breathlessly and slowly takes one finger in, flicking her tongue around it and tasting the girl for the first time. She groans throatily and shuts her eyes closed briefly as she takes the other one in as well, slowly rocking her hips against the girl’s thigh mindlessly. When she blinks her eyes open, she slowly retreats the fingers, tugging her lips along them until they are out. Then, she leans down and presses her lips on the pink and plump ones, flicking and slipping her tongue over them so Lexa can taste herself as well. 

When she feels Clarke's hand wrap around her wrist to pull it out of her pants, Lexa lets out an unhappy whine, but it is very quickly silenced and replaced with a pleasurable groan as she sees Clarke run her tongue up her fingers, coated in her wetness she then watches with her mouth hanging open as the rebel begins rubbing down on her thigh and takes both fingers into her mouth to suck them. The princess is fairly sure the visual is turning her on even more than touching herself. Then, when those blue eyes open and the blonde begins leaning down, Lexa's lips are already obediently parted, and she sucks Clarke's lips and brushes her tongue across the girl's to take every last drop of herself. At this point, Lexa is desperate for contact, and if the girl doesn't start touching her soon, she's pretty sure she can build herself up with just a little more rubbing and make herself come right there.

As Clarke kisses the girl slowly, her hand wander down again and, this time, when she cups the brunette’s sex, is without no layers between her touch and the wet and warm flesh. She slips her middle finger between the girl’s wet folds and groans into the kiss loudly when she notices that, indeed, she is dripping.

 

“God,” Clarke breathes out, pulling back from the kiss to rest her forehead against Lexa’s with an agape mouth, panting slightly. She joins her index finger down and rubs the throbbing bud with easy, knowing when to press down harder or to rub faster as she teases the girl, not wanting her to come just yet. When she circles the slick entrance, she lets out another groan and fights herself to not go there – to not screw Lexa’s future. After taking a deep breath through her teeth in a silent hiss, Clarke pulls her head back again and looks directly into the girl’s eyes. “Take off your pants, princess,” she requests as she withdrawals her hand and, like she did with Lexa’s fingers, she sucks and licks her own.

 

To Lexa’s relief, she feels a callused hand reaching under her pants and two skilled fingers spread her wetness over her clit before starting to rub the stiff bud. She's so sensitive, so new to being touched that the rubbing alone makes her arch her back and moan loudly. Each time Clarke gets faster her breathing picks up and she begins to jerk her hips against the rebel's hand, but then each time the fingers slow down and stroke her more slowly for a few seconds to prevent her release. The thing that makes Lexa gasp and pause movement all together is when the fingers slip lower and stroke through her folds and down across her entrance. The movement is light, but still she feels a wave of want she lets out a shaky breath when Clarke's hand pulls away and she's not sure if it's out of relief or disappointment that the girl didn't press farther. 

 

“Yes, Clarke.” 

 

Lexa breaths out with lust in her tone and she instantly complies, obediently obeying Clarke's orders while she reaches down and unbuttons her pants before starting to pull them down and off, kicking them from around her ankles before doing the same with her soaked underwear. Then she's laying there under this woman who she should fear and hate, but instead she's opening herself up and revealing herself in the most intimate way. She spreads her legs further so that she's laying flat on her back with her knees out to either side of her. 

The brunette swallows hard and gazes up into the blue eyes above her. She's desperate and needy for the feeling that has been forming in her core to be relived, yet not at all ready for this to end. She has to take a deep breath so her voice doesn't quiver with want as she leans up and begins kissing slowly, submissively at Clarke's neck and jaw before moving to her ear, still holding to the stronger girl's shoulders. 

Clarke is pretty sure she would come just by watching Lexa taking off her own pants and underwear and spreading her legs like that without shame. Licking her lips hungrily, Clarke blue eyes wander over the beautiful naked body laid out before her and she can’t help the sigh that comes out, as if she was expecting and searching for /this/ her whole life without even realizing. She takes notice of the curves and the bones peeking up under the thin and tanned skin of the princess; She notices the freckles and the lines and the dark trimmed and shiny pubic hair and the rebel is hit by the urge to paint this sight, so she can eternalize it. 

 

“Take what’s yours, Clarke.” She whispers softly, continuing to nudge the girl's chin up so she can pepper kisses down her throat.

 

It’s Lexa’s hand on her jaw and back of her neck that pulls Clarke back to the action, sighing and closing her eyes as the lips of the girl kisses her neck and throat already skilfully, proving her to be a good pupil. 

Instead of placing her hand on the girl’s sex, just like she is sure it’s where the princess wants it to be, she touches the girl’s breast, cupping and massaging it sometimes roughly, sometimes gently. Her fingers already playing with the hard nipple when she leans her head down to suck and bite the other, making Lexa let out a yelp when the blonde lowers her head and bites at her already sensitive nipples, but the small amount of pain is drown out with pleasure so she holds the blonde closer. It makes her feel like Clarke is taking her, /marking/ her, and Lexa loves it. She loves being fully naked while Clarke is still clothed, like it reminds her who is in charge, and more than that, she loves being pinned to the ground, needy and whining while Clarke remains confident and cocky, only doing to Lexa's body what she decides she wants to. 

Sighing loudly, Clarke uses her tongue to trail her way down to the girl’s stomach. There, she sucks hard on the skin, making sure to mark it with her teeth, knowing no one would see or know about it but the both of them. By the whimpers and moans of the girl, the rebel knows she can’t make her wait too long if she wants this to not be over soon.

Positioning herself between the girl’s legs, she looks up as she runs both of her hands down on Lexa’s side, touching her hip bones with her thumbs and leaning her head down to place an open mouthed kiss just under her belly button. She then hooks one arm under the princess thigh as she uses her free hand to touch the girl’s groin. Slowly, she drags her thumb to the wet folds and, spreading them open, and slips her warm tongue over the pulsing clit before sucking it hard into her mouth.

When Clarke finally moves on and begins kissing down her stomach, the princess' nipples and lips are left swollen and aching, but she's more than okay with it. Her thighs tremble with anticipation but she lets out content moans every time Clarke bites down or sucks particularly hard on her stomach, leaving a mark that will surely turn dark with time. This time, Lexa doesn't close her eyes though. She wants to watch as this beautiful blonde settles between her legs and reaches forward, slowly spreading her dripping folds to reveal her untouched entrance. 

Lexa can practically feel Clarke's smirk against her clit as the girl leans down and licks the sensitive bundle and takes it in her mouth, making Lexa cry out in pleasure and automatically jerk her hips several times in an attempt to please herself. She reaches her hands down, one into Clarke's hair where she holds the girl in place and then the other on her shoulder where she digs her blunt nails into the rebel's muscular shoulder. Despite the intense pleasure though, she feels empty, like she's missing something and needs to find it desperately. Her inner walls keep clenching and Lexa lets out a shaky breath, her mind fogged with lust and her thighs squeezing slightly around Clarke's head. 

 

“Oh my god, just like that!” She feels the girl's tongue flick across her clit and pulls on Clarke's hair as the girl fucks her with her mouth. After just a minute, Lexa speaks up again, having to calm herself for that time to get out coherent words besides Clarke's name and moans. “Inside,” She commands without a second thought of the consequences. “I want you inside me.”

 

Clarke sucks and laps at the clit hard and fast with thirst. Not stopping when Lexa pulls and pushes her hair, or when she marks her shoulder with her fingernails. Much less when the girl moan her name or rocks her hips eagerly for a release that the rebel has been carefully building up since they were seated in the lake. She stops, though, when she hears the plead in Lexa’s voice. Her smirk and cocky expression fades into a serious one as she pulls back to look at the green lustful eyes. 

The rebel swallows hard with the sweet taste of the girl on her tongue as a droplet of the girl’s juice rolls from the corner of her mouth down to her chin. She blinks with raised eyebrows, but unable to control herself, she runs her thumb up over Lexa’s clit absently, down and up, spreading her slickness over it as she rubs the bud in small circles. 

 

“Lexa…” Clarke says and licks her lips, tasting the girl in them. She opens and closes her mouth as she searches for the right words. 

 

After a few seconds, she shakes her head and leans up, bringing her face close to the princess. She props herself on her elbow and uses her free hand to run her fingers on the brown hair before taking the girl’s lips roughly, sucking and biting it like she hasn’t done before. It’s quick, though, and she slightly presses her middle finger over the girl’s entrance, dipping just the tip of it as a tease. When she tilts her head back enough to look into the brunette’s eyes, she lets a huff of breath out. 

When Clarke pulls away from her clit, Lexa instantly begins whining and pulling her thigh between her leg, trying to grind herself off. She had been so close, her walls clenching and her clit pulsing in Clarke's mouth, but now the pressure is gone again. She feels the rebel ever so gently begin stroking her own slickness up over her clit so she can rub it slowly, just stroking Lexa's sensitive bud and keeping her body desperate and quivering. That's when Clarke leans down and takes her mouth in a kiss, so much rougher as harsher than the last, but Lexa loves it. The girl pulls back far sooner than usual and Lexa is confused, but only for a second, because then she sees Clarke's eyes and they are so dark with lust.

 

“Do you have any idea of how much I want to eat. you. out? To pin you down and to mark every piece of your skin with my mouth and teeth? How I have this… Need to fuck you senseless with my fingers? Rough. Fast. Hard. In a way that you will never be touched like for another person after me?” She closes her eyes and bites Lexa’s jaw harshly, but not hard enough to hurt. She is making a point. She then runs her finger up to the sensitive spot on the girl’s clit and rubs there, quickly and non-stopping. “How I want to turn you around and put you on your hands and knees and touch you in places you’d never think about, and take you for /me/ in a way you’d never belong to someone else.” The rebel presses her mouth to the girl’s ear and bites her earlobe like she did with her jaw, “Do you, Lexa of Woods?”

 

The rebel's voice has dropped an octave lower and Lexa swallows hard, licking her lips to fully taste herself on the plump skin. Then when she hears Clarke's words, she swears her heartbeat moves down to her clit and it throbs wildly under the blonde's fingers. 

Her lips part and she groans and whimpers, hearing the words Clarke are saying, filthy and raw, and she can't stand it. She wants Clarke to fuck her, to take her purity, fast and hard and rough just how the girl is saying. She's about to open up her mouth and tell the blonde that, but then she continues, and this time the sentence actually makes Lexa /drip/ down her thigh.

Hearing all these fantasies while being rubbed fast and hard on the tip of her clit, with the back of the hood pulled to give her direct stimulation, Lexa cries out loudly in pleasure and her body jerks up desperately. She's whining and writhing wanting both more and less because the feeling is so intense. 

The rebel finishes speaking and bites at her again, and Lexa can't help tilting back her head and surrendering her throat to Clarke for the girl to mark and bite. She's trembling with need just at the images now in her head if Clarke owning her, /sodomizing/ her.

 

“Please!” She moans out and digs her nails into Clarke's back hard, still delirious from the unyielding pressure on her clit. “Please take me exactly how you want to. Please bend me over and submit me like your bitch.” The filthy words fall out of her mouth before she can stop them and another loud moan. “Please show me how thoroughly you own me.” She imagines herself just how this girl described, on her hands and knees on the ground in the woods, letting Clarke bite her and fuck her like an animal. She shivers at the thought. “Please touch me in ways I've never imagined and completely submit me.” By now Lexa is trembling with the need to come from all the contact on her clit and she's scratching into Clarke's back to try to hold on.

 

Clarke squeezes her eyes shut, letting out a guttural loud groan and fighting hard against herself and her impulses to just ravish this girl like they both want. She presses her fingers down, hard, against the throbbing clit and turns her head to the side, biting the jaw and the pulse point sharply before pulling back to look at Lexa’s face again. 

There is droplets of sweat all over her forehead and the rebel licks her own lips before using her tongue to wipe each one of them. The girl whine and squirm as she uses her fingernails on the back of Clarke’s neck, making her hiss in pleasure. As much as she wants to give in – and fuck, she does want –, the blonde girl knows she can’t. Instead, she slips her finger down again and, like before, she dips just the tip of her finger inside the princess, enough to give pressure, but not to take the girl’s purity. She presses her lips on the girl’s ear again and rocks her hips down against Lexa’s thigh, rubbing herself slowly. 

Lexa can feel how hot her body is, how she's throbbing and desperate for any kind of contact. As Clarke rubs her clit harshly, her back arches up off the ground and she digs her nails into the girl's skin hard, scratching down her back roughly and letting out soft grunts as she thrust herself against Clarke's hand. She feels the girl grinding on her thigh and she pushes it up, helping her rub on it harder. She feels the rebel licking the sweat off her forehead and neck and she whines desperately. She's tilting her head back, letting herself be humped and bitten and claimed like Clarke is her alpha and she's her bitch.

 

“I want to thrust my fingers into you and feel your walls clenching around them. One. Then two. Then three. Opening and ripping you up. I wanna curl them inside you in such way that you will be screaming my name until you lose your voice,” She presses her finger in, very slowly, still not completely filling the girl as she uses her thumb to stimulate the now over sensitive clit. She laps and sucks the princess’ earlobe before biting it hard, “I want to fuck you, submit you, take you over, and over, and over again until you can’t take it anymore.” 

 

When Lexa feels one of the girl's fingers pressing at her entrance, she moans excitedly and temporarily halts her movements, feeling how there is now a pressure on her tight little hole while Clarke's finger slowly test her entrance. The girl's words only make her body more excited and she slowly pushes herself against the digit, but Clarke is to smart and keeps it right out of her opening.

 

“Please Clarke, stretch me open, tear me up. Make me come so many times I have to beg you to stop.” She tries to appeal to the animal side of this blonde that she is clearly fighting to hold back. Slowly she feels the slender finger begun pushing into her slick core and she gasp and tries to thrust herself against it while Clarke brutally stimulates her clit, making her clench and suffocate the tip of the finger that is exploring her. 

 

“I can’t,” She says in a whisper before catching the plump bottom lip of the girl between her teeth and pulling it. 

 

When the girl on top of her finally says she won't take her purity, Lexa is so desperate and wound up, all she can do is hold tightly to her and whimper. 

 

“Please Clarke, pin me down and fuck me right here. Use me like I'm your fucktoy. Bite me and grab me and use me every vulgar way you can think of to teach me that you are everything and I am nothing.” She tries to argue again by moaning out more filthy words, panting out the words and clenching tightly around Clarke's fingertip, feeling the slight sting even from that minor penetration.

 

“I won’t. So you, like a good girl I know you are, will come into my mouth like I’m telling you to do. Understand?” Clarke says with her confident and smug smirk in her face. 

 

If this was any other person, she wouldn’t have a problem to do just what she want. She would take and take and take and leave nothing behind her. She would use the body hungrily, and never really feeling satisfied, then she’d get up and get out. Never coming back. But… - and she mentally rolls her eyes at her thought –, this isn’t any other person. This is Lexa. Stubborn, sweet and brave Lexa. Whose eyes are green like the leaves. Like the forest in the summer. Whose hair is brown like the ground. And Clarke, controlled, ruthless Clarke can’t stain this girl with her selfishness and greediness. 

The only thing that cuts Lexa off is Clarke speaking up and demanding Lexa come in her mouth. She swallows hard and leans her head back with her eyes closed. 

 

“I'm a good girl. I understand. Please let me come in your mouth Clarke.” She finally ends up saying, her tone becoming more quiet and submissive. She reaches her hands up the back of the rebels shirt and scratches down it again, feeling how close her body is already. She leans up and licks the sweat off of Clarke's throat and down to her shoulder before gazing up at her through dark lashes.

 

Like before, Clarke groan is brutish and she leans her head down to take the girl’s nipple in her mouth as she hears Lexa begging desperately to be used and fucked. She bites and sucks the sensitive skin of the girl’s breast, leaving another large mark there and she pulls her finger out when the princess tries to push herself against her digit. She makes a low warning sound with the back of her throat and lifts her head up to look at the girl again. When the girl finally accepts what she’s told to do, Clarke’s eyes shine and her smirk enlarges as she watches Lexa submissing. Satisfied, the rebel takes the princess’ wrists and pins them down over the girl’s head with her free hand as she leans down close enough to brush their noses together.

Lexa keeps whining and groaning, feeling how Clarke leans down and bites her sensitive hardened nipples. She clutches the rebel by the back of the head and holds her close, throughly enjoying the sting of having Clarke's finger shoved further up her pussy and then when she yelps and thrust harder against the pressure, she pants and feels Clarke grabbing her hands with the one that isn't currently fingering her and pinning them above her head. Her breathing gets heavier and she tilts her head back and spreads her legs further, not even fighting the strong grip around her wrist, instead just submitting further. 

 

“No touching,” She says through her teeth in an intimidating tone of voice. The ‘or else’ goes implied. 

 

"Yes Clarke." She responds immediately, hearing the girl's demanding tone and intimidating, raspy voice, making her wetness continue to drip down. "I won't touch." 

 

Clarke doesn’t withdrawals the tip of her finger from the warm and clenching entrance as she makes her way down, not really minding the angry red and purple marks she is leaving on the girl’s smooth skin. Once her lips brushes the slick folds, Clarke looks up with her dark blue eyes and lets her breath hit the throbbing bud purposely, as a tease. Making a point that she is in control and that Lexa will only come when /she/ lets her. 

The blonde girl licks her lips slowly, pressing her finger inside the girl slowly before taking it off and repeating it a few times. The visual of having the proper innocent princess turned into a begging girl with a filthy mouth almost makes Clarke come without much friction on her own soaked cunt. 

She lets out a shaky breath and smirks mischievously before slipping her tongue over the warm clit of the girl. She closes her eyes as her taste fills her mouth and she groans loudly before sucking the bud roughly, letting her teeth graze the delicate skin as she pushes her finger in a little deeper than she did before. She licks every corner of the girl’s sex hungrily before looking up again. 

Even when the rebel lets go of her hands to slip between her legs, Lexa leaves her hands sprawled above her head just where Clarke had put them, determined to show the blonde what a good girl she is. Her body begins tensing and relaxing, as the dominant girl gazes up at her with piercing eyes and breaths across her clit before licking her wetness off it teasingly and finally taking it in her mouth. Even around just one of Clarke's fingers, the princess is so wound up she can't even stop clenching around it. Her pussy squeezes and she whines at the pleasant sting as the woman thrust it in and out of her virgin entrance. 

 

"Take me, show me what's yours." She keeps moaning out and clutching the grass in her hands out of the need to hold something. 

 

“Your legs over my shoulders. Now.” She says with her voice muffled by Lexa’s folds and slips her finger out. But before the whine of complaint makes out of the princess’ lips, the rebel uses her tongue to circle the entrance and pushes it inside just for a second before taking it out. Using her thumb to harshly rub the abandoned clit, Clarke drags the tip of her tongue down, very, very slowly to the brown hole covered by the wetness of the girl’s pussy.

 

She's experiencing so much new pleasure than when the rebel tells her to move her legs, they are so weak it takes her a moment to respond. Finally, she arches up her back and one by one raises her legs over Clarke's shoulders so her dripping folds are pushed up closer to the girl's face and the blonde can better see her finger pumping in and out of Lexa's entrance. She feels the digit getting withdrawn and almost protest, but then she feels the hot tongue slip down from her clit and push down against her core, making it squeeze tightly and her very nearly come right there. 

Then Lexa feels something entirely new as the blonde girl slowly begins licking lower to where her wetness had dripped down and covered her most private hole. Her back arches up she feels Clarke's tongue pressing against her ass. Her eyes are open now, her breathing even harder because she feels so dirty and naughty and she loves it. The ring of muscles clenches and her thighs squeeze around Clarke's head as she feels this kind of touch for the first time. 

 

“Oh god, Clarke,” She whines out, feeling so needy and empty and /wet/. “Please. Make me your bitch. Take me exactly how you want me,” Clarke is refusing to pop her cherry because she knows what that means for Lexa's future, but a part of Lexa wonders if the girl would take her this other way, this taboo and naughty way to submit her completely.

 

Clarke slips the tip of her tongue around the asshole teasingly as she uses her calloused thumb to rub Lexa’s clit and hears the moans and whines and the pleading voice of the girl. She feels the tight muscle clenching under her tongue and she smirks at the girl’s body reaction to this new contact. She wipes the new juices dripping from the princess’ pussy and moves her mouth to the side so she can bite the ass cheek hard, leaving the mark of her teeth there. 

“You want me to fuck your ass, don’t you, princess?” Clarke says as she drags her tongue up to the brunette’s entrance and starts to tongue fuck the girl – not too fast or hard, though. No. She wants Lexa to relax so it won’t hurt much when she fucks her from behind. 

 

The rebel’s underwear is already ruined and she can feel her own arousal sticking in her thighs, so she presses them together before pulling her body up to sit straight, already listening to the whines and meawlings of protest. She lets a dried chuckle out and brings her fingers to her mouth, not wanting to stop tasting the girl. 

 

“Then get on your hands and knees,” she orders as she licks her fingers one by one, slowly and without rush.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Needing a cold shower? Before you go, comments and kudos are much appreciated. We'd love to hear your thoughts on this. 
> 
> Thank you for all the kind feedback we've been receiving. It means tons.


	7. Immovable Object

Lexa can feel the way Clarke's tongue violates the entrance to the tight ring of muscle, making her whine and spread herself wider. After just a minute, the gentle licking pauses and then Lexa yelps out in surprise and jerks her hips as Clarke bites her ass cheek. Her first response is to pull away from the pressure, but the rebel girl easily keeps her in place and after just a moment the pain fades off, leaving a dull ache and she's sure the imprint of Clarke's teeth, making her feel thoroughly owned. She takes a deep breath, but it catches in her throat when she hears Clarke's question, full of smugness and confidence, making Lexa fairly sure she already knows the answer to that. 

 

“Yes, Clarke,” She breaths out and closes her eyes. “Please take me in my ass.” Her face turns bright red, heated up with a blush from saying those words out loud. With those words, she feels the girl's tongue suddenly press through her entrance and a rough thumb rubbing deliciously on her clit, making her clench and tighten and moan out. “Please. Oh, Clarke, please,” She feels herself getting built up for what feels like the millionth time tonight and her body aches and quivers for the release, making the direct stimulation on her clit almost painful from how exquisitely sensitive she is, yet all she wants is more. 

 

When Clarke suddenly sits up straight, forcing Lexa's legs to drop from her shoulders and stop providing her pressure, the girl instantly mewls and whimpers in protest, gazing up at her from under thick lashes, thinking she's done something wrong. The command that comes from Clarke’s lips though almost makes up for it, and the Lexa quickly complies. She turns to get on her hands and knees like Clarke has asked of her, purposefully arching her back down low and sticking her ass in the air to try to please the girl. 

 

With the sight of the girl’s ass up, Clarke smirks largely and bites her lip hard, “Now spread your legs wide because, princess… I’m gonna make you cum hard.”

 

The sentence makes Lexa swallow hard and she just nods her head slightly before slowly spreading her knees farther apart, leaving her open and vulnerable just waiting for Clarke to have her way. She's is just whining and dripping like a bitch waiting to be mounted. Slowly she reaches her own hand down between her legs and begins to subtly rub herself, unable to go another second without pressure on her clit, Clarke's no touching rule being the last thing in her mind. She pants lightly and her ass clenches tightly in anticipation.

The sound of her hand against the girl ass has Clarke groaning and hissing loudly. She licks her lips and bites her lower lip hard when she sees the red marks of her palm and fingers on the cheek of Lexa’s ass. 

“I thought I told you to not. touch. Didn’t I?” She says huskily before leaning in and dragging her tongue over the hot mark, soothing the skin with a few light kiss. 

 

Lexa is so caught up in roughly rubbing her clit and humping her hand, trying to get off, that when Clarke slaps her ass hard she yelps out in surprise and instantly jerks her hand away to grasp the ground in front of her again. 

 

“I’m sorry Clarke,” She whines, this time arching her back further down so she can press her ass closer to the girl. “I’m a good girl,” She promises quietly, keeping her head down submissively, hoping this girl doesn't decide not to fuck her ass as punishment. 

 

The rebel runs her hands over the girl’s slick inner thighs before she slips her right fingers easily between the folds and rubs the clit roughly in circles. Dragging the tip of her tongue down, Clarke sucks where the mark of her teeth is before pulling back enough to shout another order.

 

“Use your hand to spread your ass for me, princess.” She says and, when Lexa obeys like a good girl she is, exposing her asshole for Clarke, the rebel hums throatily and brings her free hand to touch it. “Relax…” She whispers as she kisses and licks the slit above the private hole. 

 

Lexa quickly feels soft lips kissing away the sting from the blow and she lets out a breath of relief, feeling that soothing kiss turn into sucking, and the very thought of having rebel's marks on her ass cheeks makes her drip onto her slick thighs again. The next command makes Lexa bite her lip because it's so filthy, to degrading, and she loves it. 

 

“Yes, Clarke.” She responds quietly before reaching her hands back to expose her tight little asshole, clenching and unclenching in anticipation of how Clarke is about to violate it. She hears Clarke's instruction telling her to relax and she lets out a deep breath, forcing her body to calm down so she will be ready for Clarke's intrusion.

 

As the blonde keeps rubbing the girl’s clit in a slow pace with one hand, she uses the other to do the same to the brown rugged hole. She teases it, dipping just the tip of her left middle finger in and out, just like she did with the girl’s entrance. But she goes deeper in each thrust gradually, not wanting the girl to feel too overwhelmed. 

Lexa’s cheek and chest now press down into the ground and her legs are spread widely just like the rebel had asked. Her posture is soon rewarded with steady pressure on her clit, making her pussy squeeze automatically. The stimulation on her clit never stops, but very slowly she begins to feel pressure on her asshole and the tip of the finger pressed its way in, forcing her body to adjust to the new feeling. She's glad she had become so wet, because the juice from her pussy had dripped down to this hole as well, making sure she's coated in her arousal and able to take everything Clarke is going to give her.

The tip of the finger keeps pressing in and out, teasing her entrance and making her whine out desperately. Like the good girl she is, Lexa keeps her hands back spreading her asscheeks so the rebel can watch her hole adjust to having a finger inside of her. As the blonde begins to thrust harder, Lexa feels her ass tighten and clench and when she squeezes around Clarke's finger it's a new feeling entirely. 

Once Clarke has her finger almost completely covered, she hisses at the sight and goes a bit faster, tearing the girl apart like she want to do. It’s surprising, though, that Lexa would use such filthy vocabulary with her – like she knew the words. Like she had, maybe, fantasied before. Maybe she never imagined she would be taken by a rebel, much less from behind. But ah, the girl must have had her time reading erotic tales for sure. 

Lexa closes her eyes from where her face is pressed against the ground and begins to start clenching her ass with the rubbing of her clit. Every time Clarke thrust harder and deeper than the time before, she whines quietly and tightens around it. The feeling in her ass is entirely different than when Clarke had been in her pussy. This time she feels tighter and more full. She also feels dirty, having her ass slowly adjust to the more and more brutal pace the blonde sets, making her take the finger in and out of her ass even harder until she's shoving the entire length up her hole and making Lexa groan and arch her back the best she can.

 

“Tell me, my bitch…” she says as she brushes her lips over the cheek of the girl’s ass, biting and sucking the skin, marking the girl as hers, “Who is your owner?”

 

Clarke's question it makes Lexa squeeze tightly around the finger inside her, making her enjoyment in being degraded even more apparent. 

 

“You own me.” She pants out, still taking the ass fucking. “I’m Clarke Griffin’s little bitch.” She squeezes her eyes shut and lets out a shaky breath as her body begins to adjust.

 

As a reward, Clarke thrusts her finger harder and push another one in without warn. She hisses again at the sight of her fingers filling the girl and making her moan, feeling the tight little hole clenching and unclenching around them. 

 

“Damn fucking right,” The rebel says throatily with a smirk on her face before she leans in to suck, bite and lick the ass cheeks of the panting girl under her. 

 

She presses harder and rubs faster on Lexa’s clit, feeling the swollen muscle throbbing non stopping as the girl’s legs jerks and trembles. Clarke knows she is close again, after being denied so many times, she knows she should let the girl come. 

Lexa lets out a deep breath when Clarke starts to thrust harder, and her ass is finally relaxing enough to allow for it, but then she feels a sting as another finger is pushed into her when she already feels so full. She lets her back arch up further and groans out loudly, spreading her ass cheeks father as she leans her face into the grass. When Clarke begins rubbing her clit harder, her need takes over and very slowly she begins to to hump the hand that is rubbing her, but each time she does that she's also thrusting her ass right back onto Clarke's fingers and impaling herself harder so she has to be careful as her ass adjust to the stretching.

With that in mind, the blonde girl does what she wanted to do all this time: She fucks the princess’ ass roughly. Thrusts her fingers deep and fast before adding a third one, filling and ripping the girl apart as she rubs her two other fingers on the most sensitive spot of the girl’s pussy. 

 

“Clarke. Clarke, please. Oh god,” She whines out soft words but she knows she's only asking for more. Her legs are practically trembling with the need to come and then suddenly she cries out, in both pain and surprise as Clarke shoves a third finger up her ass. 

 

The princess digs her nails into her own asscheek trying to adjust to the way Clarke suddenly picks up her pace and begins fucking her ruthlessly. She whimpers and pushes her upper body down flat against the ground while keeping her ass up in the air. 

 

“Clarke, shit! Clarke you’re stretching me,” Having three fingers impaling her tight little hole over and over again begins just as pain, but as the rebel begins giving her clit extra attention she starts becoming more and more desperate, her ass relaxing and opening to take the pounding. 

 

Lexa spreads her knees wider and squeezes her eyes shut before once again beginning to meet Clarke's hard thrust. They are so rough and deep though, she can't quite keep up with them so she ends up lowering her head and taking it like a proper bitch.

 

“You wanna cum, princess?” She asks teasingly with a heavy breath. She then bites hard on the ass cheek to prompt the girl to answer her. When Clarke ask her if she wants to come, at first she just whines and nods her head against the ground.

 

When Clarke gets the reply, she kisses and licks the new bruise gently. “Ask again. But ask nicely, like good little girl you are.” She can feel now just how close Lexa is, and even if a part of her doesn’t want it to stop, she also want to watch this girl coming hard on her mouth and fingers. Leaning down and adjusting her fingers up and she thrust them, she slips her tongue between the girl’s entrance and her asshole in a teasingly and delicious way.

When her first pleads doesn't appear to do the trick, because the girl just demands it again so Lexa clenches tightly around Clarke's fingers and moans out.

 

“Please Clarke, please let me come! Fuck my ass so hard I have to beg you to stop. Make me so sore I can't even sit down.” She keeps gasping out the words but her entire body is also writhing desperately as she takes the girl's fingers deep and hard. “Please. Please more,” She whimpers several times and feels how Clarke bites her ass hard. “I’m your needy little bitch and I need to come. Please,” She says all the filthy things that come to her mind without a second thought, trying to make Clarke completely let go and fuck her until she comes, until she has her first orgasm, induced from Clarke stretching her ass open. She has a sheen of sweat over her body now and when the blonde leans down to start licking between her two holes, Lexa can't stand it, her body is quivering desperately and she presses herself back harder against Clarke's mouth. “Please use me. Use me like I'm your little fucktoy and make me come.”

 

Pleased with the girl’s begs, Clarke takes her fingers out of Lexa’s asshole just to shove them in again, but with a fourth finger added, knowing that she is ripping the girl, stretching her to a point she /will/ be sore for days. She /won’t/ be able to sit down without feeling her ass stinging with the pain and the memory of the pleasure. She will look at her naked body as she bathes herself and will see the marks and the bruises, and her sex will throb hard with want. 

When Lexa feels a forth finger force open her ass, she finally can't take it anymore and she releases her grip on her ass cheeks while Clarke continues to fuck her. She is panting and whining out in the filthy mix of pain and pleasure, but /God/ she feels so fucking full. She feels owned and degraded as she lay there with her face on the ground and her hands desperately clutching at the grass and soft dirt. 

She's bent over and letting Clarke stretch open her tight hole to the point that it's painful but she takes it because it makes her feel naughty and slutty, and so damn satisfied. The thrust get deeper and Lexa squeezes her eyes shut, grunting and flexing her back downward to better open herself up for Clarke.

Clarke licks between the two holes, still teasingly in a slow and almost gentle way contrasting to the hard and rough manner she fucks the girl’s ass. She rubs the clit in circles, pressing her fingers hard, using the girl’s arousal to slip them easily over the swollen muscle. Satisfied by Lexa’s words, the rebel smirks and lifts her head up. 

Despite the way her legs quiver and her ass aches from the biting and the fucking, it is also clenching in pleasure and her clit is swollen and throbbing. Lexa begins to shift herself back so she's meeting every one of the rebel's brutal thrust, now constantly whining and moaning and unable to get enough. 

 

“Come for me, princess…” She says lowly, looking down at the sight of the girl’s ass being fucked by her fingers. She hisses and licks and bites her own lips, wanting to taste the girl again. But she is patient and she knows this is just the start. Leaning down again, she bites and sucks the already very bruised ass cheeks. “Give in…” She says as she goes deeper and faster. 

 

She hears Clarke giving her permission to come and her pussy begins to tighten around nothing, while her ass struggles to squeeze the girl's fingers. Every time her hole clenches she whimper quietly because she's so full and it's stretching her more as she tries to let herself go, let herself get taken over by this pleasure that is so intense she's almost afraid to submit to it. 

Her ass keeps squeezing like it's trying to push Clarke's fingers out and she just moans and keeps thrusting her hips back, forcing herself to take the intrusion deeper and harder like a good bitch would. 

 

“I can't,” She whines pathetically, feeling too full to be able to clamp down and feeling sweat drip down the curve of her back and neck. “Too much,” She keeps whimpering, but still her ass is thrusting and she's clenching and contracting. 

 

“I’ve got you, Lexa.” The rebel uses the girl’s real name purposely, trying to establish intimacy as the girl’s trembles and quivers with her face pressed on the grass like a real subject. Clarke smirks at herself with pride and so fucking turned on that she can feel her clit hurting with want.

 

When the blonde finally leans close to her and murmurs the last words, both controlling and comforting while she finally fucks her ass as hard as she can, the princess finally breaks and shouts out loudly as unexplainable pleasure takes over her body. Her pussy is clenching hard and her clit is throbbing while she moans and throws her head back. 

She’s continuing to rub herself on Clarke's hand and more desperately thrust herself back on Clarke's fingers. Every time her pussy contracts she feels her cum drip down her thigh, making her ass clench harder so it seems like her muscles are trying to push Clarke out. 

She's loud and desperate, moaning and shouting the rebel's name while she enjoys her first release. Finally Lexa's movements start to slow and she's left there with her body collapsed on the ground and Clarke's arm the only thing still holding her ass up in the air with the four fingers still violating it. 

 

“Clarke, Clarke, Clarke,” She keeps moaning the name quietly as she finally feels the intense orgasm ending, leaving her sore and dripping her release, ass still clenching and squeezing tightly.

 

When Lexa’s body jerks and she screams loudly, Clarke closes her eyes and throws her head back in pure pleasure, as if she was the one cumming. She keep thrusting her fingers inside the girl, gradually decreasing the pace when the body under her stops the spasms. She slips her fingers around the slick clit, rubbing it teasingly and gathering the girl’s juices before bringing them to her mouth. She wipes them carefully with her tongue, tasting the girl without rush as she hears her name being called over and over in whimpers and whispers. 

She lets her eyes wander over the sight in front of her as she withdrawals her fingers from the now violated hole carefully, not wanting to hurt the girl further now that she have already came before wiping it on the grass. Gently, she holds the lifted hip of the princess and lays it down, knowing she is sore and her muscles are aching. 

Lexa feels Clarke's fingers slowing down as the girl helps her come down from her high and the brunette forces herself to stop the clenching of her hole so Clarke's can slowly withdraw her fingers, Lexa feeling a great relief but also a great loss when the emptiness takes over the feeling of being stretched so wide. She lets out a deep breath and moans she feels how Clarke slowly guides her to relax and helps her slide her hip down so her ass is no longer in the air and she can relax her quivering muscles. 

Once Lexa’s body is completely laid down on the grass, Clarke drags her finger over the back of the girl’s thigh as she leans down to place small and soft kisses on the bruised skin of her ass, before trailing her lips up over her back. There, she sucks and makes new marks – tenderly, this time. When she reaches the girl’s shoulder, she brushes her lips and closes her eyes, smelling the girl’s scent as she runs her hand over the prominent ribs on the princess’ side. 

The princess manages to gather up the nerve to move herself just a bit so she can cross her arms under her head and rest her cheek on her hands instead of the grass. She's breathing heavily and she feels Clarke's fingers skim up her thigh and around her pussy, collecting her release there before feeding it to herself with seeming satisfaction.

Clarke is careful, though, not to put the weight of her body down when she kisses the back of Lexa’s neck, nuzzling her face into it and sighing loudly. As she presses her mouth over the icy shell of the girl’s ear, she smiles softly. 

Lexa just closes her eyes and appreciates how quickly the mood has changed. She's no longer Clarke's bitch, now she's just Lexa, laying there with her ass sore and thighs trembling from cumming so hard. She feels the soft kisses that are getting peppered up her thighs and then pressed over the bite marks on her ass cheeks and she lets out a breath of relief, relaxing as this rebel girl who had previously been so rough and dominant now becomes gentle and caring, kissing her all over and then leaning up to nuzzle against her neck and press her lips there softly.

 

“Thank you,” Clarke rasps out and takes the earlobe in her mouth, grazing her teeth around it before letting it go. 

 

The rebel sighs again when the breeze hits their bodies and she leans her forehead against the girl’s shoulder blade with her eyes still closed. Her body is buzzing and her own sex is slick as fuck but she never felt so satisfied in her life. 

Placing one more kiss on Lexa’s back, Clarke pulls back and rolls to the side onto her back, finally letting her body relax against the grass. Laying there, she looks up, blinking slowly to the sky with her heart still running on her chest and a heavy breath escaping from her parted lips.

Lexa is still sweaty but her body is now cooling down as she feels the pressure of Clarke laying down next to her. She lays quietly for a minute without moving, the rebel's soft thank you playing over again in her head. It's such a simple thing to say after something like this, but it's comforting and makes Lexa feel safe and wanted. 

She finally rolls over on her side and gazes at Clarke with her green eyes, pupils still dialated despite the way her eyelids now droop in exhaustion. Lexa reaches her hand out and places it over Clarke's stomach before curling her naked body into the blonde's side, letting the rebel hold her frail but thoroughly satisfied body. 

 

“Thank you,” She echoes back quietly and nuzzles into Clarke's neck to press soft kisses over the skin and lick off any beads of sweat that she comes across. Her body is aching but it is also tingling with pleasure and exhaustion. She appreciates this moment of gentleness and kindness after the treatment she had received.

 

The rebel sighs quietly when she feels Lexa’s hand over her stomach followed by the girl’s body pressing and curling around the hers. At the girl’s quiet words, Clarke gives a small single nod as she keeps gazing up to the sky, listening only to their heavy breaths and the movements of the leaves and the trees. 

Easily, she wraps her arm around the princess’s back and places her hand on the slim waist, pulling her closer securely. It’s only under the soft kisses that the blonde girl closes her eyes and hums, feeling her own muscles relaxing as well. She tilts her chin up and her head to the side, giving access to the girl’s mouth. Absently, she traces invisible lines on the girl’s naked and warm skin of her waist and side. 

Clarke stays quiet, calming her breath and the pace of her heart. The tranquility of the moment makes her sigh loudly and blink her eyes open. She knows they should walk back to the village, but she also can’t bring herself to care much. Not when there is a naked Lexa wrapped up in her warms, placing sweet kisses on her sweaty skin. 

She thinks back to everything they just did and she should feel surprised by how well the princess took it, but she isn’t. It felt… Right. Like the world had vanished and there was only the both of them remaining. Owning it. 

 

“We should head back,” She says despite her will of staying. 

 

She doesn’t move, though. She doesn’t pull back and get up. Instead, she tightens her arm around the skinny girl and turns her head to brush her lips against the sweaty forehead. It’s then, in the calm moment, that she thinks about the brunette’s situation. Would have Lexa preferred her first time to be more gentle? She knows the princess had enjoyed being taken in such filth way, and she also knows that she could take her again and again and again until the girl can’t give anymore. But, still… – She sighs and shut her eyes closed, rolling them and pursing her lips in annoyance at herself. She shouldn’t care. She shouldn’t feel like… Like… After all they did, she is the owned one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, my dudes, that was a fun.  
> Like always, comments and kudos are appreciated. Please let us know what you think about it. Thanks!


	8. Fuse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since people has been worried about the rape tag, I will clarify it: The trigger warning is for dubcon and mentions of past rape. There will never be a graphic scene.
> 
> As for the rough sex, there will be a lot of kinky smut, but NOT ALWAYS. We will be putting a warning on the notes when it happens. But lemme be clear: They are into it. It is something they both like. Filthy, degrading words. You will notice that it only happens when they are having sex. When they are not fucking, they treat each other with mutual respect and care. If you are not into it or if it makes you uncomfortable, it's totally safe to skip it.

It’s later when the sun starts to lower in the sky and it leaves Clarke and Lexa laying alone together. 

Being held like this so closely and comfortingly makes the princess feel safe. A small part of her had been afraid that after they had finished, Clarke would move on from her like she's just another notch in her belt. The woman is clearly experienced so for her it might not be anything special, but for Lexa she feels different now, like she's incredibly closer to this person who she just gave herself to for the first time. 

Clarke's strong arm around her pulls her close and she nuzzles into the blonde's neck, letting out a deep breath. She would be lying if she said she hadn't thought about that, because God, she had. Maybe not exactly how it had happened, but she had thought about Clarke's hands on her, about being touched by the rebel, and now that it's happened she feels a sense of satisfaction and almost relief. 

She hears Clarke's words saying they should head back in, but she's comfortable laying there on the ground, naked and only covered by Clarke's soothing touches. Her green eyes flick down to gaze at her body, all pale and unblemished except for the marks the blonde has placed on her. There are dark hickeys from where the girl sucked on her skin, and others are bite marks that make shivers run down her spine. She knows that she has many more on her back and ass as well, but she's too sore to even think about them at the moment. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, shifting to rest her head on Clarke's chest. The rebel must have marks down her back from Lexa's nails as well, but for now the princess just traces her fingers gently up and down the older girl's side. 

They stay like that for a while, both unwilling to get up, but as the sun continues to set she finally lifts herself off of her lover and gazes into blue eyes, gently stroking soft blonde hair behind the girl's ear before nodding in agreement.

 

“I guess we should.” 

 

Lexa mumbles softly in distaste as she climbs out of Clarke's warm arms, but she then walks over to where her clothes are on the ground and begins picking them all up, feeling the way she walks a bit stiffly from the treatment she had been receiving earlier. She begins to dress herself again, pulling on her underwear, pants, and top. She has her ballgown stuffed away back in the small cottage she's renting a room out of. She could never return to the castle in the rags she has on now or her father would clearly know that's going on. 

Clarke crosses her arms under her head as she watches Lexa’s naked body moving around. The girl’s back, ass and thighs are full of bruises, like watercolor on a white canvas. It’s beautiful and it makes the rebel’s fingers itch with the need to trace them one by one. She sighs and closes her eyes because, well, they do have to head back. The sun is almost setting and her clothes are almost dried. She knows they won’t question her absence, though, so she isn’t really worried about it.

Lexa can feel Clarke's eyes on her as she dresses herself and she would be lying if she said she didn't purposefully sway her hips a bit more and take a little extra time to pull on her clothes. Her long hair is now fallen out of the tight bun it had been in and cascades down her shoulders in damp waves, still drying from their impromptu dip in the pond.

 

“Are a lot of rebels here?” Lexa's voice has gone back to being soft. “How long are you going to be in this area? Where are you even staying?” In the rush of their passion Lexa had let a lot of questions slip by her that she now wants to know.

 

At the girl’s question, the blonde props herself on her elbows with an amused satisfied smirk and a raised eyebrow as she looks at the now clothed princess, who turns to gaze over at Clarke and smiles slightly when she sees the smirk tilting the blonde's lips upward while she shamelessly gazes at her. 

 

“There are a few, yes. Mostly the young ones.” She half shrugs and slips her tongue over her teeth in thought. “The ones who saw your face, when they captured you, don’t do much… Solidary work outside our camps. So don’t worry. Just…” She moves her hand in the air and lets out a dry chuckle, “Just try to be less princess-y?” With a crooked smile, she sits up. “I’m here until the work is done. We will rebuild the houses and give away some money we stole last week.” She then runs her fingers through her messy hair and stands up. 

 

Lexa sees Clarke standing up and smiles softly, still combing her fingers through her hair to smooth it out. She's not surprised to hear that a lot of the people there helping are rebels, but she's relieved to know that none of them are ones who have recently seen her face. Sure, a lot of people in the kingdom knows what she looks like and can recognize her, but that's when she's in the rich districts in her full gowns with guards flanking her, not when she's in a poverty-stricken village working with common people. She lets out a quiet breath of relief when she hears that Clarke will be here until the work is done because that means that the girl is going to be close and within her reach.

Stepping close to the taller girl, Clarke places both of her hands on the marked back from behind, under Lexa’s shirt, feeling the warm skin under her icy fingertips for a minute. Then, she slips them to the girl’s sides and down to her waist as she presses her lips on the bony shoulder. 

Lexa feels strong arms wrap around her and reach down to hold her hips and guide them back against her. She lets out a quiet breath and her body automatically melts back against this girl, making her tilt her head back to let the blonde kiss her neck.

 

“I’m staying here, on the village. They offer us beds and clean clothes because of our work.” She tugs the girl closer, pressing her back against the rebel’s front firmly. With an open mouth, Clarke kisses Lexa’s shoulder and the back of her neck slowly, tasting the sweat on her tongue as she moves one of her hands up to the girl’s stomach, letting her thumb graze the underside of her breast.

 

Lexa takes a deep breath and nods slightly. Everyone in the village is so kind and thankful that she's not surprised they are letting people stay with them. She had the offer extended to herself as well, but she hadn't felt comfortable living with anyone in case they were to somehow realize who she was, and she has a general mistrust of people in the first place after everything she's been through in her life. For that reason, she had gone a short walk over to one of the other villages to rent a room from one of the cottages.

 

“Clarke,” Lexa breaths out quietly and feels the girl's thumb rubbing the underside of her breast, the returning contact making her nipples stiffen up. She swallows hard and turns around slowly so she can face the rebel in front of her. "My dad thinks I'm shopping in the wealthy districts. He won't be suspicious if I stay for a little while." She leans her forehead against Clarke's. "You can come stay with me for a little while." She says more quietly. "The village is just a short walk away in the morning."

 

Pursing her lips after the proposal, Clarke considers it for a moment. With Lexa turning around, she places both of her hands on the girl’s sides and runs her fingers there absently, holding her firmly. She should stay in the village, do her work and help the others. She should stay to discuss the best strategy about what to do next once the job there is done. But the princess voice is quiet and she can feel the puff of breath of the girl hitting her lips. She feels warm and she is weak and she doesn’t know how to say no. Not when there is this girl asking her for nothing more than to stay for a little while. 

Lexa can tell that Clarke is debating about whether she should take her offer, so the girl pouts her swollen lips just slightly and leans closer so their bodies are brushing, gazing at the girl through dark lashes while she awaits a reply

Sighing, the rebel gives a small nod and nudges the girl’s nose with hers before pulling back enough to look at Lexa’s eyes. 

 

“Alright, if you insist…” She says with a smirk on her lips and a smug face before stepping back to give the princess some personal space. “I will have to stop by the village, though. I can’t just disappear without having a word with Reyes or Blake.” She bites her lip in thought and shoves her hands inside her pants pocket as the breeze hits them again. The blonde girl looks up to the sky and grimaces. “It’s gonna rain,” She mutters and, after gesturing with her head in a silence request for the girl to follow, she heads the way back through the forest.

 

Finally Lexa she feels a rush of relief and a slight twinge of anticipation as the girl agrees to stay with her and her mind runs through a thousand ways she can return the favor of what Clarke did today and just briefly her lips curl up to match the rebel's little smirk.

 

“Stay by my side all the time. If they ask – and they will – it’s best for me to answer. But if you have to, try to talk less… Proper and more…” She pauses there and smirks before chuckling mischievously, “More like you did when I was fucking you.” She turns her head to glance at Lexa for a second before looking ahead again. She chuckles quietly and shakes her head, “Well, not exactly like that…” She smirks again before it fades slowly and her eyes gets a bit dark. “You will need a backstory, in case we get caught ‘together’, if you know what I mean – Which… Will probably happen,” She says with her mind already thinking fast. “Grace Harrison is a good name, though.” She nods once and looks again to Lexa, slowing down her pace when the sound of the village starts to get louder and louder. There is a ton of questions coming back to her, but she keeps quiet. She will save for later. 

 

Lexa doesn't mind walking with Clarke back to the village so she walks obediently next to her, feeling warm and comfortable now that she's dressed again. The sky is turning grey, making it clear that the blonde's prediction about the weather is going to come true soon, but Lexa doesn't mind. By the time it begins to start pouring down, they will likely be safe in the comfy room she's bought out. 

She chuckles quietly when Clarke comments about the way she speaks, because despite all her attempts to blend in, her posh accent has always set her apart enough to make her noticeable, but never recognized. Her face quickly heats up bright red as Clarke mentions the way she had been speaking earlier because she knows it had been vulgar and filthy, but it had been what the rebel had needed to let go and fuck her hard, to own her like Lexa had wanted. 

 

“I’ll keep that in mind.” She responds, trying to sound casual and hope the dying light covers up her blush. After a moment of Clarke continuing to speak Lexa just raises her eyebrows and gazes over at her. “We won’t get caught,” She says quietly, her eyes gazing ahead while the village gets louder. “I’m staying in a small cottage place I bought for a few days. The owner is never in and we won’t be seen or heard." She murmurs, a mien of excitement and relief rising in her stomach that it wasn't a one time deal. 

 

Clarke stays quiet, noticing how the princess stepped closer to her bearing a slight blush on her cheeks. She would have reached out and pulled the girl to her and kissed the plump lips until Lexa forgets her own name, but… There are things to be done first. 

Lexa keeps gazing at Clarke while they walk back into the village where people are beginning to pack up for the night. The kids have grown tired and gone to bed while the rebels and other villagers are either resting themselves or enjoying a drink outside the houses together. Lexa sulks timidly behind Clarke, keeping her head down and bodies close so that she feels safe next to the girl in front of her.

The entire trip, Lexa had been avoiding going places where a lot of people are. All it takes is one glance at her for her to get recognized, and then she could be entirely screwed. Now as he walks behind Clarke, she keeps her face down, her long hair partially covering it. She knows the blonde will keep her safe, but she just wants to get away from this party where everyone is drinking and shouting as quickly as possible.

Tilting her chin up and masking her face into her usual indifference, Clarke nods to some recognizable faces as they walk into a more agitated part of the village. There, she sees a big fire close to the common tavern and some people drinking around it, seeking warmth even though the rain will be crashing down in a few hours. She knows that if there is alcohol, Reyes is probably around; and if there is Reyes, Octavia is probably around too. She is containing a chuckle at that thought when the older Blake gets up from the group of drinking men and, with a drunk but warm smile, he approaches the rebel girl. 

 

“Clark’!” He says with a slight slurr, not quite noticing Lexa behind the blonde shoulder. “We were lookin’ for ya!” 

 

A bit annoyed at his loud voice, Clarke glares at him and soon he is blushing awkwardly. She knows he means well. They had grown up together, since Jake and his father were friends once – before his dad was killed by the king’s men. He just likes to play the big brother too much sometimes and Clarke… Well, she doesn’t like having a collar around her neck. 

 

“I’m fine, Bell.” She says with a tight smile before looking over his shoulder and noticing Reyes talking animatedly with a blonde guy. 

 

“And this is?” Bellamy asks, now looking curiously at the quiet girl behind her, making the blonde rebel clench her jaw and step back protectively. 

 

“None of your business?” Clarke is quick at her reply and he rolls her eyes, mumbling under his breath something about ‘rude’ and ‘I’m not drunk enough to endure this’ before turning around and leaving them alone. The rebel just rolls her eyes as well and turns around to give Lexa a small nod before heading to where the Raven girl is.

 

Clarke seems to easily wave through the group of people, and she just follows along quietly, knowing it's a dangerous game that her and this rebel play. Finally, Clarke stops in front of a group of men and one in particular notices her and speaks up loudly, making be brunette cringe. Clarke is quick to shut him down though and soon her snappy attitude has him turning around. The blonde seems satisfied and begins leading her over to another group of people where a girl with tan skin and long dark hair send to notice them. 

 

“Clarke!” She calls out, waving her over, not seeming to realize the girl was already on her way. When they walk up Lexa is pressed close to Clarke's side, but the movement is subconscious and she doesn't even realize she's doing it. "Where have you been?" The tan skinned girl questions and holds up a beer to her lips, taking a long drink before looking between them with a slight smirk as she notices the way Lexa's front presses just noticeably into Clarke's back. "And what's your name?" She questions, gazing back at Lexa and raising her eyebrows. 

 

The princess swallows hard and forced herself to lift up her chin to make eye contact so she doesn't seem strange. 

 

“Grace.”

 

Raven gazes between her and Clarke for a moment and nods slightly then leans forward.

 

“And how exactly do you know Clarke?” She questions, her brown eyes clearly full of interest to get caught up on the latest gossip. 

 

Lexa leans forward slightly just like Raven is to lean against the seat in front of her that has been dragged out for lounging around the fire.

 

“I don’t think you want those details.” She responds in a quiet voice, but tops it off with a smirk and the tilt of her head. With that she turns her head to gaze at Clarke and steps back again so she can wrap her arms around the rebel's forearm. “Come on babe, let's go.” She murmurs just loud enough for Raven to hear into Clarke's shoulder, knowing this will clearly get them out of anymore questions.

 

Clarke crosses her arms with an annoyed expression, flicking her tongue over the roof of her mouth in a ‘tsk’ sound when Reyes asks how they met. Before she can brush the girl off, though, Lexa is there putting her in her place. 

With a very raised eyebrow, the Raven girl smirks as she glances between the two girls in front of her before winking at Clarke knowingly, with a glint in her dark brown eyes. Clarke stayed quiet through the brief exchange, but she was proud how the princess have dealt with the inquiring loud girl. 

The mockingly chuckle wasn’t supposed to escape the blue eyed girl’s lips, but once it does, Raven rolls her eyes and crosses her arms as well, leaning back with a slight pout on her lips. 

 

“Not funny,” She says tilting her nose in the air dramatically as Clarke now smirks largely. 

 

The blonde rebel glances at Lexa, who snaked her arms around her forearm and her posture changes. With her smirk fading, she looks pointedly at the other rebel, who lets go of her light demeanor and straights her back too, knowing that she is now talking to Griffin the leader. 

 

“I stopped by to let you know you are in charge for this night and next morning. There is a written route plan in case of attack. Now, I think we are safe for at least three more days without drawing the King’s attention. But, if you do need it, it’s in my bunker at Jefferson’s.” With a small nod, Clarke looks at the mug on the Raven’s hand. “Don’t get too wasted. I will be back as soon as I can.” She says with a little smile before taking off the chain of her neck and passing it to the tan skinned girl. The object is only symbolic, but with it, no one would question her authority. 

 

“Aye aye, Cap.” Raven says with a playful salute, holding the chain securely in her hand. Once she relaxes her shoulders, she smirks. “Have fun,” The brunette says teasingly, looking again between Clarke and Lexa. 

 

Lexa keeps leaning against Clarke and gazing up at her through thick black lashes, waiting for her to be able to leave this place. She notices how the blonde's posture changes and her demeanor shifts to be more powerful, showing that she isn't joking around at the moment. Raven also seems to quickly pick up on this and soon she sees Clarke pass off the chain she wears around her neck to the tan girl who willingly takes it. Lexa is curious about the interaction but just continues standing there quietly and wrapped around Clarke. 

The girls briefly go over what seems to be a plan of escape and she frowns slightly knowing that it is her father who would be the one hurting these people who are only trying to help this suffering town. She knows that he only cares for himself, not his family, or his people, just his own power. The brunette lets out a deep breath and after well-wishes and a cocky smirk from Raven, they are off and walking away from where all the people had been celebrating the successful day with their drinks and chatting. 

After a few minutes, Clarke lick her lips and glances at the taller girl. She supposes the princess is staying at some cottage closer to the village, but she is curious to know why. Pursing her lips, she looks ahead again, deep in thought. Maybe what she said to the princess months ago might have done an impact on the girl. Maybe she isn’t as blind and as gullible as she was before being taking by the rebels. 

She doesn’t ask, though. Lexa is there for a reason and whatever it is, Clarke is fine with it. She still doesn’t quite understand the bond they share. She doesn’t understand why she let the princess go or why the girl had stayed stuck in her mind after that. She doesn’t know why and honestly, she gave up trying. She acknowledges it, though. She knows that there is something alluring and out of this world about them. She just doesn’t quite know what to do with it. 

They manage to walk away from the area without being stopped anymore and Lexa lets out a breath she didn't realize she was holding. She can feel blue eyes on her as they walk and she takes the lead to show Clarke where she will be staying. It's just a short walk away from the village so that she's safely away from it but can still walk over quickly in the morning to get to work early with everyone else. 

 

“For how long are you coming to work on the village?” Clarke asks, curiously – and planning ahead.

 

As they walk, the sky is now dark and different fireflies flicker around them, catching Lexa's attention and making her smile softly. It's quiet and peaceful and nothing like the castle where she's constantly jumpy. Her father has never been kind to her and ever since the was caught by the rebels he has become even more angry and paranoid which ends up getting taken out on her. Clarke's question pulls her out of her thoughts and she turns her attention to the girl next to her.

 

“I’m not sure. As long as I can stay before my father would become suspicious. If I'm not home in a few days he will wonder where I’ve been.” 

 

She takes a deep breath and reaches her hand out to take Clarke's calloused hand in her own soft one, gently rubbing her thumb over the rebel's knuckles. The gentle contact feels so right and familiar, causing her to sigh and pull closer. The days are brutally hot but the nights quickly drop in temperature. 

It's a short walk before they reach the cottage Lexa is staying at and like usual the woman who owns the place isn't there so Lexa closes the door behind them and leads Clarke over to one of the back rooms where she's staying. It's a nice little space with dressers for clothes, cabinets for food, and a big bed to sleep in, but still nothing in comparison to what Lexa's used to though. Earlier when she had first arrived, Lexa has bought a bottle of whiskey because she never had anything besides wine back in the castle since its 'unladylike'. She walks over to the cabinet where she had put it and holds out the bottle, unsure if it's anything Clarke would like. 

 

“Interested in having a drink?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, kudos and comments are very appreciated. Please let us know about your thoughts.  
> Big thanks to those who are sticking with us. :)


	9. Continuum

Once she is inside Lexa’s room, Clarke looks around curiously. There isn’t much of the girl around it, but the space is bigger compared to the ones she is used to sleep in. The bed is probably the largest one she’s ever seen and there is nice sheets covering the probably soft mattress. 

She walks carefully, stepping closer to the dresser and the enormous mirror at its side. There, she tilts her head to the side and looks at herself with furred brows before chucking drily. She is a fucking mess. Her hair is tangled and her clothes are still heavy since it haven’t been dried properly. There is dirt under her nails and under her chin as well. Looking down, she sees her muddy boots and another chuckle escapes her lips before she turns around to look at the princess, who is going through the cabinet. 

The rebel leans her hip against the dresser, crosses her arms on her chest and lets her eyes wander over the girl’s back and ass shamelessly. At the princess’ voice, she purses her lips and nods.

 

“I could use a drink, yeah,” She answers as she steps close to the little table by the window and takes her jacket off, placing it around the chair’s back. The night is cold and she can already hear the soft rain hitting the roof, but the room is warm and nice and she has a feeling they would get undressed sooner or later anyway. “What you’ve got there?” She asks noticing a bottle in Lexa’s hand, but the girl’s back doesn’t let her see much of it. So, after fixing her hair in a messy bun, she crosses her arms again and steps closer to the taller girl, standing behind her and looking over her shoulder curiously. 

 

Lexa notices the rebel shuffling closer behind her and she turns around with the bottle of dark liquid in her hand. 

 

“Whiskey of some sort.” She gazes at it and sets the cups down on the small table before reaching in to uncork the bottle and holding it up so she can smell it, making her nose crinkle. “God, that’s strong.” She comments with distaste. 

 

She had asked for the nicest bottle of whiskey since she clearly has the money to afford it, but even expensive whiskey still taste like poison. She chuckles quietly and pours each of them a glass anyway, leaving the alcohol on the bedside table in case they want more. Her clothes are still damp from the river and she considers just waiting a little while because she's sure they will come off sooner or later anyway, but until then she figures they might as well be comfortable. 

She hands one drink to Clarke and sets the other down on the table before beginning to dig through her drawers so she can find the sleeping clothes she brought. After just a moment, her hands find the soft fabric of her sleeping gowns and she pulls out two of them and then searches around for a moment for clean undergarments as well since they both might want those as well. The gowns are each made of fine fabric and just a little bit baggy on her so they are more comfortable to sleep in. 

Clarke chuckles at the reaction of the girl when she smells the bottle of whiskey and she shakes her head. She bets Lexa have never had a drink of something stronger than those fine wines they have up there on her castle. Taking the glass with a nod, she gulps down the drink and sighs loudly, closing her eyes at the liquid burning down her throat, making her feel warm instantly. She almost moans because holy fucking shit, the thing is good and probably cost a fucking fortune.

 

“Here, would you like to get comfortable? I'm going to because my clothes are still damp.” The princess mentions and sets down one of the sleeping gowns so she can turn around and shimmy out of her wet clothes. 

 

With anyone else she would instantly go to another room before thinking of undressing herself, but with Clarke she just stands there in front of the mirror with her back facing the rebel and begins undressing. 

Blinking her eyes open, Clarke watches as the princess goes to the dresser and dig through her clothes before taking out some and putting it on the very nice bed that the rebel really wants to get in. She flicks her eyes to Lexa again as she leans her back against the wall on the other side. Holding up her glass, she stares at the girl shamelessly like before. She watches as she takes off her shirt and pants, followed by her underwear. Her back is full of marks and bruises that are now turning darker and Clarke licks her lips. 

Though her back is turned her front reflection is noticeable in the mirror. She strips out of shirt and pants then after just a moment her underwear follow in suit and she sets the pile of clothes on the dresser for washing before pulling on fresh underwear and the gown, covering up all the marks on her body, now in full bloom from having time to sit. When she's finished and has run her fingers through her hair to smooth it out. Lexa watches with interest when she turns around and sees Clarke staring at her, the pupils in her blue eyes now dilated. It gives the princess some satisfaction to know that she has this affect on the girl. That /she/ makes this great rebel shift with need and stare at her with lust. 

Clarke isn’t one of looking much. Wanting much. Sex for her was something made for release when the stress is too unbearable. And yes, she is good at that. At being in control, at making the person submit and beg and come again and again and again until she isn’t interested anymore, leaving without coming back. Lexa though… Is another thing. Her eyes follows the girl like magnets. Her hands twists with need to touch. Her mouth waters with want to taste. The skin is soon covered though, and then the princess is turning around and offering one of her gowns and undergarments. 

Blue eyes fall into bed again, and with a shrug, she walks over to place her glass on the table as well before standing up in front of Lexa. With her eyes fixed on the green ones, she smirks cockily and takes off her shirt, knowing exactly what the other girl would see on her body.

There are scars covering pretty much her whole back – Not that the girl can see it in that right moment. Not yet. But what catches the princess’ eyes is the ugly scar covering her left shoulder and upper arm from the day her mother was killed. Usually she doesn’t give much thought about it. Not after years. She is used to it by now and so she takes off her pants, followed by her underwear. Naked in front of the girl, bearing a smug and shit-eating grin, Clarke raises an eyebrow and lets the girl stare for a moment before taking only the underwear from the bed and putting it on.

Lexa swallows hard, keeping eye contact the entire time as the beautiful girl in front of her slowly begins to strip off her clothes. She realizes that the entire this this woman fucked her, she was still entirely dressed, so she hasn't had the chance to see her body yet. 

The first thing she notices when the blonde pulls the shirt over her head is how different their bodies are. Clarke has full, generous breast with rosy pink nipples peaking up at her. The curves follow down a toned stomach to where the girl removes her pants and undies, and Lexa can follow the curve of her hips, then down between her legs to where there is some light and well-trimmed pubic hair. Her lips part slightly and she steps a bit closer, just staring at the body in front of her. 

It's not really until the rebel bends over to pull on pants that her eyes catch on the large scar across Clarke's shoulder and gets a glance at the ones scattered across her back. Lexa's initial reaction is to think how badass it makes her look, but the next thing she feels is concern, wondering how the girl got them. She's quiet for the time being though, deciding she will ask about it soon enough. For now she has a beautiful and near-naked blonde staring at her and all she wants to do is touch, and kiss, and taste. 

She notices how Clarke is smirking widely at her and just smiles slightly before stepping closer and holding the sides of the rebel's face as she leans in and slowly presses her lips against the soft skin of her neck, beginning gently but then beginning to flick her tongue over the skin and brush her teeth across it gently. One of her hands reaches over Clarke's shoulder to touch her scar and feel the burned skin under her hands, then the other moves downward while Lexa's face is still buried in her neck and slowly traces down to circle around a generous breast and then brush her thumb over the nipple. 

 

“You're beautiful,” She breaths out quietly and pulls her body closer. The brunette leans back just enough that she can gaze into blue eyes. “I never returned the favor from earlier,” She points out and raises her eyebrows slightly.

 

Clarke closes her eyes and tilts her head to the side to give room for Lexa’s mouth to gently kiss and suck the skin of her neck. She sighs softly under the light touch and licks her dried lips before looking at the mirror over the princess’ shoulder. She looks at herself being touched by unsure and affable hands, making her cheeks and tip of her ears flush slightly. It’s a nice view, she thinks, as Lexa’s soft thumb grazes her stiffened nipple. It’s different, the way the girl touches her, from everything she’s ever felt. Sure, she had let girls and boys touch her, wanting to taste and take her, needing her to give them the control. Sure, she had been touched, tasted and took, but she never gives up the control. Here, though, she wonders how it would be to have Lexa over her.

 

“I don’t expect you to,” She says, though, in truth. “And you don’t need to,” She continues, letting her body being pulled and pressed against the brunette’s. 

 

Looking up to the taller girl, she places a hand over her chest and, in silence, she feels the fast thrumming of her heart. She sighs quietly and lifts her chin up to place a kiss on Lexa’s jaw before biting it weakly. She closes her eyes and nudges it with the tip of her nose, nuzzling her face into the warmth of the girl’s neck for a minute. Then, dragging her hand up over the very nice fabric of the gown and she slips her tongue over the girl’s pulse point before sucking it slowly, letting her lips linger there for a second. 

 

“Unless… You want to?” She says mischievously, with a smirk forming in her lips as she pulls back enough to look into her favorite green eyes. Biting her lower lip, she looks at the bed and gestures with her head, “Sit down.” She orders with the same tone she used earlier when she was ravishing the girl in the middle of the forest.

 

As Lexa holds this girl against her, it's a completely new feeling, having Clarke bare and available for her taking. She lets out a deep breath and keeps sucking at the skin, but not hard enough to leave marks. She has quickly fallen in love with the taste of the pale skin and she lets out a deep breath. 

Clarke's words leave the girl's mouth and she can't help but think how much she wants this. She had enjoyed being taken, being /ravished/, so thoroughly earlier. Her ass is still sore from being stretched and she feels her inner walls clench at the thought. 

In her moment of daydreaming, Clarke begins sliding her hands up over the expensive fabric of the nightgown and up to her chest, but instead of fondling her, Lexa just feels gentle hands resting over the beating of her heart. Soon lips are pressed to her neck and soft bites are digging into her jaw, and she pulls the rebel closer with a quiet groan. She can't imagine doing this with anyone else. She would never let herself be degraded and owned by anyone else, but when Clarke is in charge, she loves it. 

She loves feeling like she is nothing and Clarke is everything. She loves the glint in Clarke's eyes and the way her demeanor shifts to be one of power and lust. The entire situation just makes her pull herself closer to the nearly naked rebel and when she hears a quiet voice asking about if this is what she wants, she swallows hard and nods into the girl's shoulder, but then feels her pulls back, so she follows to look into those blue eyes.

 

She bites her lip and continues to gently, almost teasingly, rub her thumbs over stiffened rosy nipples. "I've been a good girl." She breaths out in a hushed tone. "May I please pleasure you as a reward, Clarke?" Her own pupils are dilated and when the rebel orders her to sit in the same commanding voice she had been using earlier, Lexa feels herself growing slicker between her legs. She obediently follows the instructions and sits down on the edge of the bed, shifting her legs slightly for contact. Her hands itch to reach up and touch Clarke, but she remains sitting there just fumbling with anticipation to have the opportunity to touch and to take such a powerful woman. "Please?"

 

Clarke steps close to the bed, standing up between Lexa’s legs. She hums pleased by the girl’s obedience and eagerness, and raises a hand to run her fingers through brown locks as she locks her eyes with the green pleading ones. She nods slowly with a small smile before leaning down to place a kiss on the girl’s forehead. 

 

“If you are patient, maybe you will…” She says when she pulls back, smirking and winking at the princess. Squaring her shoulders and straightening her spine, the blonde girl tilts her head to a side, letting her hair fall down from the bun over her bare back and shoulder. 

 

The rebel catches her own bottom lip and runs her hands through her hair with half closed eyes. She then throws her head back and lowers her hands down, touching her own body without rush. She uses one hand to circle her breast and pinch her stiffened rosy nipple, and the other to scratch her skin down over her defined stomach, leaving red marks on the way. She sighs and lets her mouth fall open with a throaty moan as she flicks the nipple hard between her fingers. Then, she glances at Lexa and smiles smugly at the girl.

 

“No touching…” She says with a raised eyebrow when she drags her hand down and cups her own slick sex under her underwear, very, very slowly. She hisses when she slips her middle fingers between her folds and spreads her arousal over the already throbbing clit. She sighs and bites her lip again, closing her eyes as she pulls and pinches her nipple harder. Another moan escapes her lips and she rocks her hips against her own finger, slowly and deliciously. With a sigh, she blinks her eyes open again to look at the princess and withdrawals her hand. She thinks about bringing up her fingers to her own mouth, but then she looks at the want on the girl’s face and she decides to raise her hand and touch the plump lips with her wet fingers. “Go on…” She says lowly, parting the girl’s lips and slipping her middle finger inside the girl’s mouth.

 

Lexa watches with wide, lustful eyes as the blonde walks up confidently between her legs and stands there with a smirk on her face. The girl's naked body is absolutely beautiful and Lexa can't seem to decide where to look. Her eyes wander from blue eyes, down to rosy nipples, and then lower between Clarke's legs to where her underwear just cover the woman's most private area, and she feels like a teenage boy gawking at his first opportunity with a girl. In a way she supposes she's not so different. 

She sits there with her lips parted just slightly and dampens them with her tongue while she watches the rebel slowly let down her hair and then reach up her own body to begin rubbing her own breast and slowly, almost teasingly, putting her hands inside her underwear, making Lexa swallow hard. 

She is about to lean forward and push Clarke's hand away in favor of wrapping her lips around a stiffened nipple, but before she has the control of her body to move forward, the beautiful girl in front of her raises her eyebrows cockily and says two simple words that shouldn't be so hard to follow but automatically make Lexa's hands itch. 'No touching.' She whines quietly, but can't deny how sexy it is to watch Clarke touch and rubbing herself, occasionally making quiet moans fall from her own lips. 

The princess feels her own wetness gathering between her legs without even being touched. Just the memories and the visual in front of her is enough to turn her on. She sits there in her nightgown and presses her legs together, rubbing her thighs subtly for friction. 

Finally, the girl in front of her seems to decide she's teased the squirming princess enough because she slowly removes her hand from her underwear and slowly raises her wet fingers up to Lexa's lips. Her breathing gets heavier with want and she feels the slick fingers pressing down on her lip, but after the no touching rule she's not sure if she's allowed. But soon enough the rebel gives her permission and pushes her middle finger past Lexa's lips and into her eager mouth. 

The princess runs her tongue up the finger and begins to suck on it obediently, getting every last drop of the tangy taste of Clarke off the digit. After the first is clean she gazes up at the blonde with her innocent eyes and pulls back but only enough to take another finger in her mouth and begin sucking on it. Even after the taste has disappeared she begins running her tongue up over the skin and pressing it around the tips of the fingers eagerly. She has ready plenty of stories with sex, and one of the things she remembers vividly was how some of the woman would manage to take men in their mouths. She can't help but think as she sits there sucking Clarke's fingers that if the girl had a cock, real or not, she would do the exact same thing willingly.

Clarke sighs loudly at the sight of Lexa looking at her innocently as she takes her two fingers in her mouth. She then adds a third one, knowing that the girl would take it eagerly. She hisses quietly when the princess presses her tongue around the tip of her fingers and she pushes them further, watching them disappear behind the plump and wet lips of the girl. She groans throatily at the feeling of being sucked in that way, feeling the sexual tension building up quickly as she keeps her eyes locked with the green ones and slowly thrusts her fingers inside the girl’s mouth. 

In and out, in and out, in and out. Slowly but deeply. 

Lexa watches how Clarke reacts to her sucking obediently on her fingers, hearing how the girl hisses in satisfaction when Lexa takes a third finger in her mouth and continues to flick her tongue across it. She feels one hand tangle back in her brown hair and the other begin thrusting the fingers in and out of her mouth, making her take them deeper down so shehas to adjust to the new feeling.

Clarke moves her free hand to tangle her fingers with the brown hair and she tugs it down firmly as she pulls her fingers out of the girls mouth so she can lean in and suck the brunette’s lower lip hard. She flicks her tongue over the lip before slipping it inside Lexa’s mouth, grazing their tongues together and dragging it slowly over the roof of the girl’s mouth. She pulls back and smiles, knowing how much Lexa wants to touch her. She doesn’t indulge, though. Instead, she steps back and slowly takes off the thin underwear, letting it fall somewhere in the floor.

She sucks the rebel's fingers all the way up to the knuckle, but then after just a minute she feels the hand in her hair pulling her head back and Clarke removes the fingers from her mouth. She would be upset about it, but the taste of the blonde still lingers in her mouth and the rough treatment has her soaking her panties. The kiss Clarke pulls her in for in slow, but it's all tongue and passion, and Lexa willingly opens her mouth for the woman, letting the kiss go on without being able to reach up and touch.

Eventually though, the blonde steps back and gazes at her with a huge smirk before stripping off her thin underwear Lexa had given her, making the princess swallow hard at the sight of wetness dripping down Clarke's thigh and covering her swollen clit. She's so turned on that all she wants to do is launch forward and pin the rebel down to the bed so she can touch her and taste her, but she's too good a girl for that. When Clarke says no touching, she doesn't touch. 

Completely naked now, the rebel knows for sure that the princess can see her arousal over her trimmed pubic hair and some running down her inner thighs. She uses the fingers that the girl was sucking to touch her crotch and her folds, teasingly, slowly, putting just enough pressure for her inner walls to clench. With her eyes half closed, she licks her lips slowly, biting the lower one in a vulgar way just as she slips her middle finger over her clit and rubs it in slow circles.

 

“I’m going to be nice to you, princess…” She says between quiet moans, walking over to the bed and crawling on it. “Turn around, but don’t. touch.” She says pointedly as she adjusts herself. Half laid down with her back on the pillow and the headboard, Clarke spreads her legs giving Lexa the full view of her dripping sex. She closes her eyes and arc her back when, like before, she grabs her breast with one hand and pinches her nipple while using the other hand to tease her bud in a light touch. “Did you imagined this, princess?” She rasps out, moaning at the end of her question and blinking her eyes open to look at the girl. “When you were laying down at night on your big bed, did you think about me touching you?” She then slips her finger down to her entrance and she hisses. “Did you think about you touching me like this?” She hums and closes her eyes, throwing her head back as she shoves the finger inside. “Tell me just how much you want to eat me.”

 

Lexa just has to watch as the girl climbs onto the mattress with her and lays down with her legs spread wide so Lexa can see her beautiful pink lips open and dripping for her. She's so entranced with the way Clarke slowly touches herself that the rebel beginning to speak almost startles her. Her hands grip onto the bed sheet to prevent her from reaching forward and breaking a rule or putting her hand in her own pants. 

 

“Yes, Clarke,” She breaths out quietly and feels her inner walls clench at the question. “I thought about you. I thought about us together,” Her face turns bright red as she confesses to the filthy habit and she bites down on her own lip hard. “Clarke, please. Please let me eat me you out,” Lexa wants to be able to lean down and taste this girl like her pussy is a glass of water and she’s just been parched for weeks on end. “Let me lean down and lick up the mess you've made down your thighs. Let me spread your lips and put my tongue inside you,” Her eyes haven't left Clarke's pussy as the woman behind to finger fuck herself and the brunette whines and cups herself through her nightgown, not daring go further than that. “Please grab by hair and fuck my face until you're pleased and you have gotten off using me as many times as you want,” She keeps murmuring the filthy fantasies quietly.

 

Clarke shoves her finger in deeply, moaning a bit loudly as her digit makes contact to her weak spot. She bites her lip hard and rocks her hips, rubbing herself against her own palm. She hisses again, keeping her eyes shut, as she listens to the princess begging her to let her touch and taste. The thought of having Lexa’s inexperienced mouth on her sex makes her walls clench again and she breaths out shakily. Knowing she shouldn’t wait too much, she looks at the girl and offers her slick hand to her. 

 

“Come here,” She says, taking Lexa’s hand with hers and guiding the her over her body, making sure the girl’s leg is now between hers. She takes the girl’s hand to her mouth and, looking at the green orbs, she licks the long middle finger just like Lexa did with hers a moment ago. Sexily, slowly, vulgarly. Sucking the whole digit into her mouth before pulling it out. She smirks and slowly guides the girl’s hand down to her pussy, letting the princess finally touch her like she wants. She hisses again at the contact and arches her back, rolling her hips as she slips the middle finger through her folds and rubs it on her clit. “Fuck,” She breathes out, enjoying the soft skin of the girl against her pulsing bud. With her free hand, she tangles her fingers on the girl’s hair and pulls her into a rough kiss, full of tongue and teeth. “Make me come,” She says with her lips brushing Lexa’s and she grinds down against the girl’s hand hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, PaperAdventures here. Sorry we have been so inactive lately but I have been on vacation for the past few weeks and so editing and updating has been hard to do. Lexark and I should be back to our regular updating now that I'm back. 
> 
> Please keep up with the comments and votes. Out last chapter was discouraging to find because it hardly got any response.
> 
> Once again, I love all you guys who read. Hope you're still interested.


	10. Reciprocation

Lexa watches and groans loudly, cupping harder around her own throbbing sex as she watches Clarke finger herself. The rebel seems to know exactly what she likes, and Lexa's eyes watch carefully as her middle finger pumps hard in and out of Clarke's pussy. 

She's fucking herself hard and the brunette can hardly contain herself because her clit is throbbing and her hands itch with the need to touch. Soon though she can see how Clarke seems to quiver with each thrust and her body arches up into it more, like the blonde might just fuck herself into coming right there. Luckily though she sees blue eyes clouded with lust gazing up at her and finally the commanding voice giving her permission to come closer and touch. 

She crawls forward quickly, never before having her skin feel this hot and her body so needy without even being touched. She's a wet mess just from the visual Clarke had given her. The woman wets down Lexa's finger in her mouth and begins kissing her roughly while the guides the hand down to her clenching pussy, finally giving both of them some minor relief. Lexa pulls back from the kiss and rest herself on top of the rebel, very slowly brushing her thumb over Clarke's clit and beginning to rub it while she pulls away from the girl's face so she can lean down and wrap her lips around a stiffened nipple.

At the same time she bites gently at the hardened bud, she pushes her middle finger into Clarke's pussy deeply, feeling how hot and wet it is squeezing her finger. Clarke lets a loud grunt when Lexa’s mouth sucks her rosy and aching nipple hard, making her arch her back again and rock her hips, grinding down faster against the finger inside her. It quickly makes Lexa begin licking and sucking the nipple in her mouth harder so she can thrust her finger in and out, relishing in the soft moans and grunts the powerful rebel lets out. She's holding tightly to her and remains like that for a few minutes but then slowly slips down between Clarke's legs so she's only inches away from the dripping sex. 

She very slowly pulls out her middle finger that had been buried knuckle deep and instead leans forward to lick up the length of the glistening folds. Clarke's command echoes over in her mind and she bites her lips slightly. Instead of leaning right in to suck on the blonde's clit or give her proper friction, she begins very slowly stroking back the hood on her sensitive bundle of nerves and licking up her entrance softly, her movements testing and almost teasing. All the while her green eyes gaze up at Clarke from between her thighs.

Clarke squeezes her eyes shut and bites her lip when the girl’s lips runs down over her abs and she feels her thighs shaking from the prospect of having her warm mouth sucking on her clit. “Fuck,” She says again on a groan, just as Lexa’s tongue slips over her folds. She grips the sheet with one hand and uses the other to pinch at her own nipple hard, flicking with her fingers, making her pussy throb under the princess’ mouth.

She blinks her eyes open and looks down. The sight makes her hiss and suck her own lip because holy fucking shit, It was worth it to make the girl wait. The brunette strokes her bud and licks her entrance and Clarke grunts again because who knew this little shit could be a fucking teaser? She chuckles internally at the thought, smirking proudly at the girl before raising her hips, seeking more.

Lexa can't help the great sense of satisfaction she feels from finally being between Clarke's legs and getting to touch her like this for the first time. She's inexperienced but willing and eager to pleasure the woman, so her movements begin carefully, slow licks and teasing strokes so she can finally taste the wetness from Clarke's pussy firsthand. She moans quietly against the rebel's sex and knows that she should probably cut out the teasing because if she doesn't she's sure Clarke will make her pay for it.

 

“Eat me the fuck out, Lexa,” She says between her teeth as she massages her own breast. “I want your fingers,” She says as her inner walls clenches, “Inside me,” She licks her lips and moans when the girl’s tongue slips down and up, “Filling me.” She throws her head back and closes her eyes as she moves her hand to grab the girl’s hair and guide her mouth back to her clit. “Suck me.” She grits out and uses her fingernails to scratch her own stomach, marking her skin with red lines. “And don’t fucking stop.” She orders finally as she loses herself into her desire.

 

Lexa desperately wants to feel how the woman squirms under her fingers and how her body clenches and arches up as she falls apart and comes. The thought makes her groan and she quickly shoves her face farther into the woman's pussy. She lays sprawled out on the bed holding both thighs apart while she licks and sucks at the woman's entrance, eating up every drop of the sweet liquid that can be found. The taste is even better when it's straight from the source and she can't seen to get enough, just continuing to ravish Clarke with her mouth. 

Eventually she begins to surrender to the pleads, or more like orders, to fuck Clarke with her fingers and she feels a strange sense of excitement at the prospect of being able to do that to the rebel, to take her in such a precious way. Lexa pulls back from Clarke's pussy, but only so she can lean down to lick up the wetness from her thighs and line up two of her fingers at the rebel's entrance then ever so slowly, she begins to push them in, feeling how the slick heat tightens and then relaxes to adjust to her. 

She begins thrusting them in and out, enjoying the view in front of her face, but soon enough fingers are tangling in her hair and she is being pulled up to Clarke's clit and she willingly beings to suck it. Like a good girl she is, she takes the swollen bud in her mouth instantly and begins to suck as she removes her fingers and pushes three back in. 

Lexa seems to love having her face held there in place and feeling dominated even while she's the one fucking Clarke, because she begins flicking her tongue over the nub quickly and sucking harder. She keeps thrusting her fingers but begins to curl them to rub the woman's upper wall as she goes deeper. 

The princess looks up through dark lashes at Clarke's face as she sucks hard on the bundle to pleasure her, wetness already spread across her face and chin and pushes her fingers in to the knuckle to curl them up.

Clarke throws her head back against the pillow and presses her eyes shut, letting a loud moan echo around in the room. As Lexa shoves three fingers into her, she hisses and smirks, thrusting back and forth and matching the rhythm of the girl. Obediently, Lexa sucks the rebel with thirst and the blonde girl holds her by her hair harder, keeping the girl where she is as she rocks her hips, arches her back and rubs herself on the plump lips and warm tongue. 

When the princess fingers curls inside her, she feels her inner walls clenching hard and her body tensing up between little tremors. She feels her forehead wet with her own sweat and her pussy throbbing with want and need and so she rides faster, harder, thrusting down and making her hole engulf the three fingers to the knuckle, feeling her being filled up just like she wants.

 

“Fuck, just like that,” She says, gripping at her own breast hard and pulling at her already swollen nipple and placing her legs over the girl’s shoulders, giving a better angle for the princess to work. She knows she is close. She never takes too much to come. Not when there are fingers curling inside her, rubbing her and an eager mouth sucking her clit like she is water in a desert. 

 

Lexa can feel how the girl under her begins thrusting harder, taking her fingers deeper and rubbing herself against Lexa's willing lips. She's still being held tightly by the hair and still the brunette can't get enough, using her tongue and lips eagerly while Clarke holds her there and fucks her face. It's Clarke's moans that encourage her the most and she keeps thrusting her fingers hard, relishing in the new angle as the girl folds her legs up over the princess's shoulders to allow her a deeper angle. Lexa moans into the rebel's clit as she feels Clarke's inner walls throbbing around her fingers and allowing her to thrust harder and faster.

When Lexa’s tongue slips over her bud just in time with her thrust, Clarke presses her thighs around the girl’s head and pushes her by the hair, letting a groan with Lexa’s name on it as she rides her orgasm in full force, feeling the tips of her fingers numb as her legs spasms hard. 

Lexa seems to do something just right as she fucks the girl deep and with need because suddenly Clarke is moaning loudly and her pussy tightens so Lexa has to work harder to continue pumping in and out, slowing down slightly to make it easier for Clarke to come down.

She no longer sucks on the clit, knowing it must be overly sensitive, but she does lick at it slowly and keep her fingers inside the blonde until she collapses back, her legs falling back on the bed. Lexa waits until Clarke relaxes before she slowly pulls out her fingers.

When it subsides, she doesn’t let the girl’s go. She keeps her legs right where they are and keeps her eyes closed, trying to catch her breath with difficulty. It’s only when she can feel her heartbeat slowing down that she lets her legs fall onto the bed again, releasing the girl as she runs her hand absently over her own stomach.

Lexa just gazes at her for a moment while she sucks off her three fingers and then reaches forward to slowly part the lips of Clarke's pussy so she can lean down and lick across the entrance of her hole to make sure she's eaten out every last drop of Clarke's release, lingering for a bit before moving. She slowly makes her way down to the woman's thighs and cleans up there with her tongue. The rebel squirms and scratches at her stomach with a quiet groan with just makes Lexa smile slightly. 

 

“Come here,” Clarke says in a raspy voice without opening her eyes. Too fucking blissed to think about moving. When Lexa's sure there is nothing left for her. She crawls to lay beside Clarke, the blonde's wetness still smeared on her lips.

 

The brunette very slowly leans forward and presses their lips together, letting Clarke taste herself heavily in the kiss. There is clearly a light sheen of sweat across Clarke's body so she pulls back and licks up her neck and then down between the valley of her breast, enjoying the salty taste of Clarke's skin. Clarke relaxes, sighing loudly when she feels the plump lips touching her own. She tastes herself, deepening the kiss and grazing their tongues together before sucking the princess’ lower lip and pulling it with her teeth. It’s only when Lexa licks her neck that the rebel blinks her eyes open and raises her hands to touch the slim waist of the girl, pulling her impossible closer. 

Lexa looks up into blue eyes while she cups around Clarke's breast and slowly licks over a swollen nipple before pressing a kiss to it, still not having had enough of the generous breast in front of her. Lexa lets out a deep breath when Clarke pulls them closer together, and this time it's the princess who's still fully dressed while the blonde is naked and sweating under her. It's such a different experience to be able to feel another body under hers, to see how different they look and how good it feels to be able to nuzzle into the girl's chest to rest her head there. She nudges Clarke's breast with her nose as she begins sucking lightly, curious about the taste in her mouth.

Clarke sighs again, parting her lips and grunting lazily, feeling her whole skin too sensitive, when Lexa cups her breast and licks her nipple. She hisses and aches her back, pressing her fingernails hard on the girl’s waist. 

 

“Shh…” She rasps out, closing her eyes again and licking her dried lips. “Too much, babe,” She whispers, not thinking twice about the pet name that escaped. Her body is still buzzing and trembling slightly, her mind is foggy and she knows she can’t take much more than light touches right now.

 

The blonde takes a deep breath and moves her hands up to Lexa’s shoulders before running one of them to the nape of her neck and pulling the girl up again so she can press a lingeringly kiss on her forehead. When she pulls back, she locks her eyes with the green ones and sighs quietly, noticing just how dilated her pupils are, full of lust and desire and… Something else that she can’t really put a name on. Yes, Clarke can acknowledge that there /is/ something between them; She also know that she can’t name it – Or, well, she just can’t go that deep. Not yet. Not when there is too much to happen. 

Too many words unspoken and the fact that they are in different side of a rebellion. She sighs with that thought in mind and brings her other hand to cup Lexa’s strong jaw and caress the beautiful cheek of the girl. 

 

“Thank you,” Clarke echoes the words from earlier, when she had fucked the girl in the forest. She bites her own lip, a bit self-conscious because she isn’t good with words. Not when its about intimacy or emotions. So she lifts her chin up to place a light kiss on the brunette’s mouth without breaking the eye contact.

 

Lexa instantly pulls back when Clarke ask her and the gentle words that come out of Clarke's mouth make Lexa smile slightly, because the pet name seems like something that the rebel girl wouldn't usually give out. 

Either way, the brunette is happy to accept it and she wearily leaves behind the generous breast in front of her so she can snuggle up into Clarke's shoulder and get comfortable. She feels a kiss getting pressed to her forehead and she smiles as her green eyes meet with blue ones. There are so many emotions that seem to be in that stare and Lexa's almost startled because it all seems so familiar. 

Laying next to each other revealed and vulnerable doesn't seem strange, instead it's almost comforting. She almost doesn't know what to say because she's so lost for words, but after a few moments Clarke seems to decide the same thing, because all she gets out is a soft thank you and then she's leaning forward to place a gentle kiss on Lexa's lips, which she greatly accepts.

 

“I really appreciate that you let me do that.” She responds in her hushed voice and snuggles tightly into Clarke's side, resting her cheek on the rebel's chest. She takes deep breaths and relaxes when she notices Clarke's familiar sent. Without even thinking, she closes her eyes and strings her fingers through blonde hair protectively. “I’ve missed you.” She murmurs softly, and even though she could have just meant the last few months, there is something in her tone that suggest more.

 

Clarke sighs and wraps both her arms around the girl that lays over her. She never does that. Lay still on the bed after sex. Much less snuggle and cuddle. But here she is, more comfortable than she ever felt. Looking at the ceiling, the rebel stays quiet after Lexa’s words. There is something familiar hovering around them. The way the girl’s body rests against her own. The touch, the caress, the kiss. How the princess’ breath hits her chest, warming the rebel up in a way that makes her wonder, and wonder, and wonder. Feeling a bit overwhelmed by it, Clarke swallows hard and closes her eyes, tightening her grip on the girl. 

 

“I’ve missed you, too” She says, replicating the same sentence, full of meaning that even she can’t grasp. So she stays quiet for a few moments, just enjoying the weight over her, pinning her down. Never too much, and never too light. It’s like Lexa’s body is a shield, a duvet. Warm, cozy, protective. Bringing a sense of safety that the rebel only truly felt under her mother’s arms. She sighs and opens her eyes again, looking at the same spot over the ceiling.

 

There is a lot they should talk about and decide, but for now the blonde girl drags her hand up and down over the princess’ back and rests her chin on the top of her head. She opens and closes her mouth. The ‘we need to talk’ stuck on her throat, making her heart beat a bit faster. She shakes her head slightly and sighs loudly, letting it go for a few more minutes. Not really wanting to break whatever they have in that moment.

 

“Take your gown off,” She says, needing to feel skin on skin. The “please” comes after in a whisper, as if she never begs. As if she is testing the word in her tongue. As if she is afraid of being denied, which… She isn’t. Not really. There is a certainty about Lexa that makes the rebel rely on her with a blind trust. Still, the sound is strange in her ears and it makes her face flush annoyingly. Right now though, she just needs to feel this closeness between them and clothes are too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there everybody, PaperAdventures here! So I swear plot and important character development is on its way really soon. I hope the abundance of smut isn't bothering anyone, but I'm assuming it's not tbh because this fandom is full of sinners. 
> 
> Anyway I'm really happy to see what you guys are going to think of the next few chapters because in my opinion that's when it starts to get really interesting. 
> 
> Also, I was thinking that it would be super cool if we could somehow find a way to make a video trailer for this. One of my friends might be able to help me out, but if any of our lovely readers out there have that kind if talent they would like to share then I would be SO excited to work with one of you guys on it. I have zero talent in the film department. Feel free to let me know in the comments and we can talk more about it on tumblr if that works.
> 
> As always, leave me your feedback and kudos because it makes my day to talk with you guys. Thank you to all the readers for spending your time to read this story, because it means a lot to Lexark and I.


	11. Aftermath

Laying there and feeling the comforting rise and fall of Clarke's chest is quite possibly the safest she's felt in a long time. The hand that rub her back makes her relax and nuzzle closer into Clarke's chest, just wanting to be held and touched lightly like she's getting now. She closes her eyes and hears the same words she had said being murmured back to her, and her heart clenches. 

 

She feels so much more than the dull ache of missing someone you had just met for a few months. It's so much more than that, like a throbbing pain constantly tugging at her and asking to be recognized, but she can't quite put her finger on it. Instead of trying to say anything else, she wraps both her arms around Clarke's waist and gently scratches down her back in slow, comforting strokes. She's so relaxed, but for some reason her breathing is faster than usual, like it's exhilarating to lay next to Clarke like this for the first time in so long. 

 

When she hears the woman request to take her gown off and feels the vibrations of her chest, she hums softly, hesitant to get up because she's so comfortable, but the prospect of laying skin against skin with Clarke soon wins over and after just a second she sits up in the bed. Her hands reach down to the bottom of her gown and she pulls it straight up over her head, gazing down at Clarke with gentle green eyes for a moment before tossing it down on the floor and beginning to lay back down. 

 

This time, she can feel Clarke's warmth directly and she hums quietly to herself, feeling their bare chest pressing into each other as she rest her head in the nape of Clarke's neck. She stretches down towards the bottom of the bed where her covers are wrinkled up and she pulls up a soft fur blanket to cover them from the chilled air, leaving them warm and naked, curled up tightly against each other. She swallows hard and takes slow breaths, keeping her eyes closed.

 

“I don’t want to go back home,” She murmurs quietly enough that it's hardly above a whisper. “I don’t want to go back there to him.” The princess holds tighter to Clarke, like that might keep her safe from her father and all the horrible and humiliating things he's done to her.

 

At the contact of her skin with the girl’s, Clarke breathes out a long and loud sigh. The feeling calms her and makes her heart find its steady pace. The best word for what she is feeling is melt. She is melting under Lexa, her muscles are relaxing and there is no world outside this room. When the princess cover the both of them with the very nice blanket – probably the best one she’s ever slept with –, she wraps her arms around the taller girl and runs her fingernails over the naked back of the princess. 

 

She hums too, pleased, with brown hair tickling her neck lightly and the girl’s hand holding her firmly. When she hears the murmur, she presses her lips in a fine line and holds her girl tight against her. She kisses the top of her head and nods before opening her eyes again. 

 

She just got one more reason to fight against the King: his own daughter. The rebel clenches her jaw and she can feel her muscles tensing with the sense of protection and anger. 

 

“I want to kill him,” She confesses. Despite being angry, her tone is soft and resigned. She takes a deep breath and swallows hard, trying to relax before continuing. “He took everyone I’ve ever loved, my father aside,” She tells as she runs her fingertips on the ribs of Lexa’s side absently, now looking up again. She stays quiet, trying to find the right words. “I know he is your father, but I will kill him, Lexa. Or I will die trying to.” There is a clear sure in her voice that makes everyone believe it; that makes her confident and proud and resilient. 

 

Staying quiet again, she wets her lips and bites the lower one, sucking on it as her mind runs. “As for you…” She sighs and closes her eyes again, “I’m going to be honest,” She warns and lowers her voice, “I’d say for you to run. To never go back. To be away from his grasp and live with us,” – With me, she doesn’t say. “But what I said to you, months ago, is still true. I’m not made for nice sheets like this one. I’m not made for hot fancy baths and fine clothes, just as I don’t believe you are made for dirty and instability and rough hands,” Her smile is sad and she makes a ‘tsk’ sound, flicking her tongue over the roof of her mouth. “I don’t know about the future, princess. But rest assured that you are now one more reason for me to fight for our cause.”

 

Lexa keeps cuddling the girl tightly after the words escape her mouth. She remembers the first night she had met Clarke, and the girl had been so gentle and so kind to her. She remembers how softly the rebel had leaned forward, and for the first time in her life, someone had said at loud the abuse that happened in the castle. She had known since she was a child that whores would sneak into her father's room in the night. She had known that her mother got beat frequently, sometimes for saying something she shouldn't have, but sometimes just because her father is angry and wants to release his anger. 

 

The few years ago that she herself had begun getting abused by her father, no one had dared say anything. She remembers screaming and crying for a guard when she was 16 and got her first real beating, but not one of them had come to help her. They had known what was going on and purposefully ignored it for the sake of their own jobs. She hears Clarke's words, saying that she wants to kill her father and that she should run.

 

The thing is, not even a small part of Lexa is sad about it. Not even a little part of her still pities her father, not after everything he's done. She closes her eyes and lets herself hear Clarke's steady breathing. 

 

“I don’t have anywhere to go. The rebels will take me prisoner and who knows what they will do to me?” She murmurs softly and holds closer to the blonde. She gazes up into blue eyes and reaches up to stroke the girl's face. “You know, you’re the first person who’s ever protected me?” She says quietly and gently tucks Clarke's hair behind her ear. She imagines not having to go back to the castle and never having to face her father again, and the thought is so appealing.

Clarke bites her tongue to hold words like ‘I’m a rebel, too’, ‘You’d be safe with me’, and ‘You have a place here’, but she stays quiet, looking at Lexa’s lips moving and listening to what the girl is saying. She presses her lips together in a fine line again before sighing quietly. 

 

She has paid the price for her decision of letting her go. Her back bear the scars from the day after that night when she opened the gate to free the most valuable prisoner that the rebels has ever had. She accepted the punishment without breaking and without regret. Blinking, she leans into the caress in her cheek. There is something about the way the princess touches her that keeps the rebel calm and peaceful, despite what is going through her head. She runs her fingertips up to the girl’s back and drags them over her spine, up and down, lazily and absently as she gets lost in thought with her mind running possible scenarios. 

 

As she looks into the different shades of green in Lexa’s eyes, Clarke raises her other hand to mirror the girl’s action from a moment ago. She pushes a stray of loose brown hair behind the little ear of the girl and runs her fingers over the shell of her ear before trailing down to the beautiful jawline. 

 

“I’m not saying you should, but…” She says after a long moment of silence, “You could go back to the castle, take everything you can bit by bit, bringing things you think you will need and stocking it here. Gold, coins, clothes. Things you could sell eventually,” She bites her lip and frowns a little, “Although you wouldn’t be safe here or in other villages like this one. Maybe those closer to the south. They are richer and the King can’t really touch them. Not arbitrary like he does with the poor.” Clarke drags her fingers down to the girl’s bony shoulder and she traces the freckles spread over her skin. 

 

“It would be your best shot, and I would help you as much as I can. But I still think that eventually you would miss what you have there, Lexa. I mean… Here you would have to control your instincts. You would have to lose your proper vocabulary and the way you carry your shoulders. You would have to build a believable backstory and you would have to learn how to defend yourself. Physically.” She looks up tilts her head to the side, “I’m betting you don’t know how to fight, right?”

 

Lexa stays in Clarke's arms with her arms wrapped around the girl's back to hold her close, and she doesn't think she's ever felt safer than she does right now, being held tightly and having her hair strokes gently. It's a whole new feeling, but she loves the comfort is brings her, so she just nuzzles closer into the blonde and breaths in her familiar sent, feeling herself relax. 

 

They stay like that for a while, quiet and just feeling their skin pressing together and making them feel close. Maybe she should feel vulnerable and afraid, but instead she just relaxes herself thoroughly and only looks up when she hears Clarke's voice. Her green eyes flicker up to search the rebel's face when she slowly lets the suggestion settle in. Running away from the castle seems like it would be the logical thing, but she would be leaving her mother and everything she's ever had only to be alone. She frowns slightly and pulls closer to the blonde, hearing her say that Lexa might begin to miss what she had at the castle. This makes the princess shake her head instantly. 

 

“I won’t. You know what my father does. He hurts my mother." She pauses for a long moment, seeming to debate if she should say anything else, but settling on the conclusion that Clarke already knows by now. "And he hurts me. He's been worse and he scares me and I want to leave." She mutters the last part out in a blurred jumble of words and nuzzles her face into Clarke's neck. It hurts to admit things like that. She's admitting that she gets hurt but she's too scared to fight back against it and it makes her face burn with shame. 

 

“One day I'll kill him myself.” The words take even herself by surprise when she says them. “One day he's going to beat me and humiliate me and I won't want to get hurt anymore and I'll just snap.” She keeps whispering the words because a part of her knows they are true. She isn't going to live her entire life afraid and shrinking away from the abuse, at some point she has to fight it. The princess takes a deep breath and forces herself to calm down, feeling herself practically quivering because of the memories of her father that have come over her. “If I leave will you protect me?” She whispers to the blonde, like she's afraid she might be heard. “If I run away will you let me stay with you?”

 

Clarke furrows her eyebrows and tightens her arms around the skinny girl protectively as she hears the girl’s words. It’s nothing new, really. The rebel knows exactly what is going on inside the castle – probably more than the princess herself. Although she thought that the king had stopped hitting his daughter, since his anger is always towards his wife and her incapability of giving him a son. She purses her lips and nods slightly when Lexa says she will be the one killing him, and part of her believes it and is okay with it. But the other part is reluctant to let that happen. Not because she wants to be the one doing it, but because she doesn’t want the girl doing something that will change and haunt her forever. 

 

She doesn’t argue, though. She just stays quiet, supporting and caressing the soft skin of the princess’ back absently, tracing invisible lines and circles over there. At the silent question, Clarke sighs sadly and kisses the top of the girl’s head before touching her chin with her index finger and bringing up Lexa’s face so she can look at her green eyes. 

 

“If you decide that running is your best chance, I will,” The blonde says seriously, meaning it. She tucks the brown hair behind the girl’s ear and cup her jaw, touching her cheek with her thumb in a soft caress. “I promise.” She then presses her lips against the princess’ forehead before pulling back to look at her again. “But I want you to be sure. And if you do this, if you truly wanna do this, we do it my way. Alright? I only trust myself to protect you and give this a shot. You can’t tell anyone. Not even your mother, you understand?” Clarke asks because she knows, she knows just how hard it would be for the girl to leave her mother behind, alone under her father gaze.

 

Lexa feels Clarke's comforting grasp on her as she spews out all of these personal confessions and it helps to be held and soothed gently as she says all of these things. She curls her body up against Clarke's tighter so they are pressed against each other and feels her face being guided up so the rebel can place a kiss on her forehead. She wraps her arm around the back of Clarke's head and strokes her fingers through long blonde hair, just appreciating this feeling of closeness. It only takes the girl a moment to answer, and then she's promising to keep her safe, and for one of the first times in Lexa's life, she completely believes it. 

 

“Then I want to leave.” She lets her eyes close again and takes a deep breath, still savoring the feeling of strong arms around her. “I'll go back to the castle and grab what I need then I'll leave for good.” She can imagine trying to sneak out of the castle with her bags of goods, and it will be difficult but she can always claim to be going shopping again. Her father always enjoys when she goes out to the rich cities because he believes she's able to visit the wealthy princes while she's there. 

 

After just a minute of silence she opens her eyes again from where she's laying on the pillow and looks up at Clarke. “I'll be yours.” She says quietly, and watches blue eyes carefully for any emotions in the girl's eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, Lexark here. As always, kudos and comments are appreciated. Please, share with us know your opinion. 
> 
> Thanks to those who are sticking up with us in this journey. :)


	12. Friction

Clarke nods once when Lexa says she wants to leave, although she doesn’t agree with the way the girl think she will do it. The girl’s declaration is not lost in her ears, but she doesn’t say anything to that because, well, she already feels like the girl is indeed hers. She focuses instead on her decision to abandon her life. Things like that aren’t simple and the rebels mind are already running possible scenarios and plans.

 

Lexa slowly begins dragging her fingers up and down Clarke's spine, but feels the abundance of scars that seem to have accumulated there. It becomes obvious what Lexa is doing when she begins tracing them with her delicate fingers and then slowly pulls back, only to place her hand on Clarke's lower back and slowly start guiding her to roll over so she can see them. “Lay on your stomach for a second, please.”

 

The rebel is lost in them until she notices that the caress on her back turned into a curious touch of long fingers tracing her old and new scars. She can’t help but tense slightly out of reflex. It’s not like she cares about them. Not really. But she never felt self conscious like this before and she doesn’t know if she likes it or not. Even with her slight discomfort, she does as asked because she doesn’t believe she’s able to deny anything to this girl. Not when she is looking at Clarke with care and worry. So, she takes a deep breath and closes her eyes as she turns around, laying on her front and exposing her battered back. 

  
  


Lexa watches as Clarke turns so she can see all of the marks that just seem to have lost their freshness. They are vicious slashes and her heart wrenches in her chest. "How did you get those?" She ask in a whisper, placing her hand over a particularly deep one. "Were those for me?"

 

The rebel sighs when Lexa touches the more recent ones and doesn’t answer the question for a long time. She was found bleeding out sitting on the empty cell by one of her father’s men. She lost consciousness and a lot of blood for her own liking, but they treated her leg with her own help and even if her story about being stabbed by the frail princess were true, the blame was hers. 

 

It didn’t matter if she is Jake Griffin’s daughter. She had to pay for her own mistake just like any of the men would. 

 

When her leg was healed, she was carried and tied up on a tree with her bare back facing her people. With her chin up, proud – always proud –, she took her punishment without regret. 

  
  


“Yes,” She says quietly and honestly, blinking her eyes open as she crosses her arms under her head. “Not all of them, though.”

 

Lexa keeps laying there quietly, feeling how Clarke tenses under her for a brief moment before rolling over to rest on her stomach. She reaches forward gently to stroke her hand over the rebel's back several times and feel each of the scars that are lined down across the pale skin. 

 

Part of her is hoping that this girl tells her those violent marks are not because of her, but after just a few minutes, Clarke finally speaks up, confirming Lexa's suspicions. The girl's heart drops in her chest when she imagines Clarke, already wounded and hurting, being strung up and lashed like she clearly was. She swallows hard and keeps the blanket up across the blonde's lower back.

  
  


"Did your dad do this to you?" She ask quietly and leans forward so she's propped up on her elbow and can see each scar more carefully. The rebels are known for being harsh but Clarke is one of their leaders, so they thought that they would degrade and harm her like that surprises her. 

  
  


Clarke closes her eyes again, sighing under the light touch of Lexa’s hands. Did her father do this to her? In a way, she thinks before answering. 

  
  


“There are rules. Father is the leader now, but the rules were made decades ago. I respect and accept it, just like he does. We can’t bend our laws just because I am the leader’s daughter. We are not like the king, who does what’s best for him and him only. If my father was the one losing the most valuable thing the rebel’s ever laid their hands on, he would have been the one tied up and punished, and he would do with his chest and chin up, just like I did,” The rebel says proudly, but in a calm way, as if she is teaching the princess. “I know our ways are harsh…” She swallows down and sighs, grimacing slightly, “But that’s how we survive.” She finishes in a whisper.

  
  


Lexa listens quietly to what the girl has to say and frowns slightly, clearly not pleased with the image of someone hurting Clarke. She holds her closer and places several gentle kisses on the rebel's shoulder, all of them gentle and affectionate. Despite how much stronger and better trained Clarke is, it's clear that a part of the princess is protective of her in her own way. She frowns and her eyebrows furrow together when she hears Clarke's comment. 

  
  


“Shouldn't life be about more than just surviving?” She ask quietly, green eyes searching blue for a moment. “Don't we deserve better than that?” The princess watches Clarke for a few moments before shaking her head and letting out a deep breath.

  
  


Clarke’s lips parts slightly at the question and she doesn’t breathe for a second – that seemed more like a lifetime – before blinking again and nodding slowly. She lets her eyes fall down to Lexa’s lips and she swallows hard, feeling her heartbeat loud and fast against her ribcage. 

  
  


“Maybe we do,” She whispers so quietly that she wonders if she actually said them aloud. She then flicks her eyes to green clear ones and she can’t really grasp the intangible moment that felt familiar and inevitable. Like an echo. She blinks again when Lexa touches her jaw and she is still lost in that moment when the girl shakes her heart stubbornly, bringing her back to the present.

  
  


"Thank you for what you did for me." The princess says quietly and then leans down so her hands are supporting her on either side of the girl and she can lean down to press soft kisses to each one of Clarke's scars, working from her upper shoulders and all the way down her lower back in slow soft movements.

  
  


"You're stunning." Lexa swallows hard and gently strokes across each one. She brushes Clarke's hair out of the way to place one last kiss on the back of her neck then wraps her arm across the girl's back and lets out a deep breath, settling down so she can rest next to Clarke. 

  
  


The blonde feels the goosebumps in her back and arms as Lexa kisses each of her scar tenderly, making the blonde bite her lip for a moment because, really, she can’t quite understand what she did to deserve such kindness. When the princess lay down over Clarke’s side, she opens her eyes to face the girl as best as she can in their position.

  
  


Despite the tender moment, Lexa can't help but wonder that if the rebels will do that to their own people then Lexa has no idea what they would do to her. “How will we be able to be close to each other if I run away?” She ask quietly, searching blue eyes. "Won't the rebel's still try to take me? Or would they let me stay with you?”

 

Clarke purses her lips in thought, thinking about the best way to go. She takes a deep breath, scooting closer without realizing it. 

  
  


“First, you can’t just go back to the castle, take your things and run. You will have to do it slowly. Bringing a few things bit by bit so no one would look twice at you. Second, after you bring everything you need for yourself and for sell as well, if you still wanna run, we will have to go south and see a place for you to stay. Also, like I said, you will need a backstory. Where did you came from? You have any siblings? Are your parents alive? Do you have family? Things like that. You have to stay the most close to the truth. It’s easier that way,” She pauses to put her thoughts in order before continuing, “I wouldn’t stay with you. I can’t,” She says with a little sad smile.

 

“But I’d visit as much as possible. Also, you can always go to the villages in need of handwork. I can take you to the ones I know no one would recognize you.” She bites her lip and places her hand over Lexa’s cheek, feeling just how warm the girl skin is. “You will need a job. Your money won’t last forever. And… I’d like to train you. I will be less worried if I know you can defend yourself.”

It's all so much to try to digest these plans for escape and to try to imagine a whole new life without her title and father. It's pleasant but she also realizes there will be new struggles that she will face that never occurred to her while she was in the palace, like working for her own money and defending herself. She reaches up to slowly trace her fingers down Clarke's jaw and watch her blue eyes, feeling her heart drop when Clarke says they can't stay together. At this, she instantly shakes her head.

  
  


“No, I need to be near you. I want to be close to you and with you.” She protest quietly and swallows hard. “You protect me. I can't do it by myself.” Occasional visits would never be enough now that she's had a taste of being with this girl and cuddling with her as the hours turn later. She knows that the rebels must hate her now because they all think she stabbed Clarke and tried to kill her, so that will make an alliance with them harder, but if that's the only way to be with Clarke then so be it. There is something about this girl that just drags her in and makes her need more. 

 

“I want to help you guys. I'm valuable.” She promises quietly, considering all the things she could be used for within the castle. “You could talk your father into meeting me and allowing me to do this.”

 

Clarke presses her lips together in a line and for a moment she doesn’t say anything, understanding why the princess wouldn’t agree and like the plan – that is until her proposal of meeting Jake. She props herself on her elbows and furrows her brows with an upset expression. 

  
  


“There is no way I’m dragging you back to the rebel’s camp, princess,” She says with a tone of finality as she sits up on the edge of the bed, not caring about her naked body. She runs her hand through her hair before taking the glass of whiskey and drinking it up at once. 

 

“It’s too fucking risky. This is not worth it,”  _ I’m not worth it _ , she doesn’t say. Shaking her head and biting her lip hard before placing the glass over the table again. “There is no fucking way they would let you walk free and alive. And, look, I understand it. You’d be a valuable piece inside the castle. No one would blink an eye at you wandering over your father rooms. But…” She opens and closes her mouth before pinching the bridge of her nose. Her rational part agrees with the plan. It is a good one. An excellent one, actually. But there is a high chance of Lexa getting laughed at and killed in the very moment she steps on the camp and Clarke can’t fucking take it.

 

Lexa keeps searching Clarke's face and for a moment she sees something close to consideration, like she might be wondering about this offer Lexa just made her, but then she she speaks up and Lexa frowns slightly. The rebel seems like she didn't even consider the idea, and part of her is almost relieved, thinking that she can be safe without having to be around rebels or her father, but then she considers that if she doesn't make her alliance with the rebels then she won't be able to be around Clarke. 

 

She hears the girl say that it's not worth it, but she can't help thinking she rather sleep in a cell next to Clarke than in a fancy bed all by herself. She hears the girl going on and talking about how easily she would be able to get into her father's room, how easily she would be able to poison his food or let one of the rebels in, but her mind still hasn't strayed from Clarke's previous comment. 

  
  


“You're worth it.” She says the words quietly after remaining silent for a moment, her green eyes searching blue ones. After that phrase she frowns slightly and reaches up to rub the blonde's cheek. “Let me help.” She whispers quietly and leans forward to press a gentle kiss to Clarke's soft lips. “Let me meet your father. Let me help him implement his plans.” She says quietly and keeps looking at the girl laying in front of her. “If I was that valuable at first, imagine how useful I'll be when I'm willing helping you.” She tilts her lips up in a small smile. “I trust you Clarke, and I could be your best chance at doing real damage within the castle. For once let me do something that really matters.” 

  
  


She says and wraps her arm back around the blonde's back. She can imagine how terrifying it would be to go back into that building to surrender herself, but she could manage to make a real change.

Clarke feels torn between accepting the offer and declining it. She sighs, closes her eyes and shakes her head slightly before standing up and walking around the room like a caged lion. The scene would be amusing if not by the seriousness of the moment. She runs her hand through her hair again and fixes it on a messy bun, annoyed by it hitting her shoulders as she wanders. 

  
  


Lexa’s offer is something that could change things for fucking ever. It could be /it/ for the rebel’s cause and it could mean a possible victory for them. The blonde pinches the bridge of her nose as she finally stops close to the bed. “We will do it my way,” She grits out quietly before lifting her head up to look at the girl. “You won’t go to the camp. There is no fucking way I’m letting you into that shit unarmed,” She bites her lip hard, bruising it without flinching or noticing. 

 

“I will talk to father first, just him and I. If, and that’s a big if, he accepts what I will propose, you two will be meeting here. Away from the village and from the camp, and Lexa… You better have a good discourse to make your point. I won’t be able to do much once he knows about you, understand?” 

 

She sits on the bed again and props her elbows onto her knees before pressing the heels of her hands against her eyes for a long moment. “I –”  _ I just found you _ , she thinks but doesn’t say. Instead she clenches her jaw and swallows hard, “If he agrees with you, you won’t be running. You will be useful inside the castle, Lexa. You will still be under the king’s watch and fury. You’d only be actually free once your father is killed – and if he somehow finds out that you have turned sides, and that would mean your death.” The rebel girl turns to look at the princess again with her lips pressed in a fine line. “Please don’t be naïve. And please don’t do this just because of…” She moves her hand around, gesturing at herself, “… this.” Pausing for a second, she sighs loudly and averts her eyes to somewhere over Lexa’s shoulder. “I’d rather have you alive and well far away, than close for a few moments just to be killed in the end.”

 

Lexa takes a deep breath and watches as Clarke pulls away from her to get up and pace the room, leaving Lexa's green eyes to wander over her back and the many scars that are visible on the bare skin. It makes her frown to know that this girl was hurt for her in such a violent way and she just shakes her head slightly, watching how the rebel paces back and forth like a caged animal. 

 

She half expects Clarke to dress herself and leave just like that, but to her relief the blonde walks back over and lets out a deep breath before agreeing to let the plan go, but only if she is in charge. There isn't anyone who deserves her trust more than Clarke, so she willingly nods her head, keeping her body covered up under the blanket and her hair sprawled out on the pillow under her. The princess slowly sits up when Clarke settles in front of her, and she drapes the blanket around her shoulders. This is definitely not typical pillow talk, but she doesn't mind how different their relationship is. 

 

It is important and it means something and for once in her life Lexa is trying to do something that matters. She listens quietly to everything Clarke says, but it's only when the girl mentions not allowing her to go to the compound and talking to her father first that Lexa pauses. 

  
  


“No.” She shakes her head and looks straight into those blue eyes with defiance and the same pride she showed the very first time that they met. "If your father finds out that you know where I am but doesn't agree to our terms then you will get hurt and maybe tortured to get the information on where I am. I won't allow that.” She says firmly. “That will make it clear you had purposefully let me go last time and that means you will be in trouble, so I won't have it.” Then as Clarke continues speaking, her eyebrows furrow into a frown and she shakes her head. 

 

“I'm not a stupid little girl, Clarke and you don't have to speak to me like I'm one. My life may not have exposed me to the same things you know about, but I had to grow up just as fast.” She's not angry, but she's firm, like she's trying to get this girl to understand.

 

Of course Lexa wouldn’t agree easily.  _ Of course _ . 

  
  


Clarke shakes her head and clenches her jaw hard as she listens to the girl talking firmly with her brows furrowed. She averts her eyes down to her own hands, too tired to start a fight or argue. She sighs quietly, looking down at her rough and calloused digits and scarred palm with pursing lips. She stays quiet, feeling frustrated, for a long moment. Clenching and unclenching her hands absently, lost in thought about their different worlds and how they got where they are now. 

 

When her back starts to ache, she grimaces and lays down over it, turning her gaze to the ceiling in silence. She can feel the girl’s eyes on her, waiting, and waiting, and waiting. But she is stubborn too; just like the younger girl. They are strong minded and the rebel knows, with a ghost of smirk on her lips, that they will probably disagree and argue a lot in the future - if they have one.

  
  


And that’s the point, she closes her eyes as she thinks. If she wants to have some kind of future, things has to go like she wants to. With another sigh, she finally looks at Lexa, staying like that for another long moment before speaking very quietly. “I always hated the way Bellamy would follow me around to make sure I was ok. I still hate it when he plays the big brother. But – I… I think that’s my problem. You see? He is just like me. We have this need to protect who we love and sometimes we make mistakes because of it,” She stops to wet her lips and take a breath, lowering her tone as she continues, “I’m sorry about the way I talked to you. It wasn’t my intention for you to feel stupid.” 

  
She then moves her head to look at the ceiling again, biting on her lip because she really doesn’t know how to express herself in words. Clearing her throat, the blonde closes her eyes. “I want to talk to father first because I’d talk to him as his daughter, not as a rebel. It would stay between us and yes, even if he doesn’t agree with our proposal, he wouldn’t punish me. Not like I was punished when I let you free. He’d probably just send me to do some hard work. Maybe I’d lost my position as leader of this group, but…” She waves her hand before resting her forearm over her forehead. “If you wanna go to the camp, Lexa... Fine. You go to the camp.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some tension, eh? They will be fine, though. ;)
> 
> Please keep leaving kudos and comments. It's very important for us to know your opinion on this.


	13. Quietude

Lexa watches as Clarke stares at her, seeming to look directly into her soul as she considers what had just been said. She doubts Clarke has often been talked to in such ways since she's such a respected leader and the daughter of the man in charge of the rebels. Though, when Clarke starts to speak, she doesn't seem angry like Lexa assumed she might be at being spoken to in such way. 

 

The brunette listens quietly as the rebel speaks about Bellamy, and for a moment she doesn't understand the relevance of how it relates to her, until she hears that certain sentence that makes her heart beat wildly, talking about how sometimes you need to protect someone you love and can make mistakes because of it. 

 

A part of her wonders who Clarke might be talking about, and if she might feel as strongly for her as Lexa does. She swallows hard and just feels an intense need to pull herself closer to Clarke and shush her so they can enjoy these moments that they have together. All she wants to do is close her eyes and fall asleep safe and warm in Clarke's arms, yet she knows this is something they need to talk about. She has to admit a small part of her relaxes when Clarke says she would be talking to Jake as his daughter, but even then he could turn on her and she could get killed. 

 

Family ties have never meant anything to her in her life so she is still distrusting of the man. Finally, the blonde seems to give up in trying to convince her because she just tells her to do as she pleases and that makes Lexa's frown deepen. 

 

“If you bring me there then you can protect me and you can prove everyone your loyalty. That way instead of getting denoted you will just be confirmed as the leader.” She strokes blonde hair behind Clarke's ear and gazes at her with her soft eyes. “You say the rebels fight for a good cause. You say they are not all brutish. Prove this to me.” She keeps saying quietly. “Bring me there where I can speak with your father and show me how reasonable he is. I wouldn't be coming to him as the princess, I would be coming as a girl who has ran away and wants to help. Despite my royal blood he should respect that.”

 

Clarke keeps her eyes shut as she listens. She shakes her head slightly, but this time she doesn’t say anything. She won’t get into an argument with Lexa about her own people. The people she /knows/ how to deal. She fights the urge to say that she has nothing to prove. That the princess won’t ever really understand how is it to be born on this side of the coin and that not everyone is lucky like her. It’s a reaction, really. If this was anyone else from the high ranks, she would have told them to fuck off before leaving. 

 

Part of her wants to explain why this is not a good idea. Why she can’t just show up with Lexa behind her, especially now that some people of her group has already seen the princess’ face. Hell, Raven knows that this girl is Clarke’s. But she stays still and quiet, letting the girl’s caress on her hair anchor her. And it’s such a paradox, really. How the brunette girl can be the one to upset the rebel in such way, but also be the one calming her down. 

 

So she sighs like she’s been doing lately and gives a small nod to acknowledge the girl’s words. They won’t be agreeing soon and she really doesn’t want to waste away the miracle that is actually having privacy and time to be with the stubborn girl. 

 

“Can we talk about something else?” She asks softly before opening her eyes to look at green lovingly ones. She thinks about a cell and a wary girl tied up in a chair. She think about shouting and cries and being attacked by frail fists. She think about her lip sliced and the taste of her own blood and the light weight over her torso. She think about almost kisses and a night spent awake listening to soft breathes that hit her neck in a suave pace. She think about finding and losing and finding and losing and finding and losing like a vicious cycle with no stopping. She think, as she looks into Lexa’s eyes, that in the end it’s the girl who will always have the last word because Clarke is weak, and weak, and the weak always lose anyway.

 

Lexa knows that the situation is complicated and she appreciates Clarke not getting upset with her despite everything that has happened between them. She knows that the rebel thinks she isn't worth Lexa getting hurt for, but she also doesn't understand the environment the princess grew up in, at least not completely.

 

In Lexa's mind, having someone who is kind and protective is more than anything she used to have back home, and it is not something that she's willing to give up anytime soon. In her world, kindness is a rare commodity and she's willing to do whatever it takes to keep this girl in her life. 

 

Her gentle touches seem to keep Clarke's relaxed, so as they speak in their hushed voices, she just combs her fingers through soft blonde hair and keeps up the soft motion. She lays there waiting for Clarke to further argue or try to convince her, but they seem to have come to the mutual conclusion that they are not getting anywhere productive, so she just sighs and almost feels relieved when Clarke ask if there is something else they can talk about. 

 

Her green eyes meet blue ones and she raises her eyebrows slightly before pulling her nearly bare body against Clarke's and gently leaning forward to press a kiss to the rebel's pulse point. 

 

“We don't have to talk at all,” She murmurs, the hint of one of her confident smirks now playing at the corner of her lips. Her hands move up to wrap around the back of Clarke's neck and she gazes at the girl for just a moment before reaching to grab her glass of whiskey on the side table next to them so she can take a drink, adjusting to the burning down her throat before leaning back down to Clarke, her lips now tainted slightly to taste like the alcohol.

 

Clarke lets her arm fall from her forehead and she tilts her head to the side, giving room for Lexa to kiss her pulse point. She can already feel her muscles relaxing at that, sensing the changing in the mood around them. She closes her eyes with a very small smile on the corner of her lips when the girl wraps her hand on the back of the blonde’s neck as she wraps her arm around the princess’ slim waist, placing her hand on the lower back of the girl. 

 

Opening her eyes, she watches as Lexa sips the whiskey and she chuckles throatily at the grimace on the brunette’s face. She then moves her free hand to tuck brown hair behind the girl’s ear before sliding her fingers over her jawline. She catches the pointy chin and guides her plump lips up to meet her own. 

 

She kisses Lexa softly first, just a caress on the girl’s lips. A tease. Then she parts her lips and slowly flicks her tongue over the girl’s, tasting the alcohol without rush. With her fingers pressed on the smooth skin of the princess, Clarke slips her tongue over the girl’s lips, deepening the kiss in a way they haven’t done before: As if there is no disagreements or rebels, or monarchy or a revolution to win; As if there is only them, without the worry of being interrupted or spotted. 

 

With easy, she wraps both her arms firmly around Lexa bringing her closer and, lowering her hand to grasp the girl’s thigh, she pulls her to the top. She sighs into the kiss and as she takes the swollen lip between her teeth, she drags her hands over the princess’ thighs and up to her ass, gripping it firmly but not too hard since the girl is very bruised still.

Lexa parts her lips as she feels Clarke's teasing kiss, and lets out a content hum when the girl finally opens her mouth so their tongues can brush against each other. It's a slow kiss, but undeniably passionate and she feels the mood from earlier slipping away from them as they kiss and pull each other closer. 

 

It's like a paradox for them to hold each other like this. Clarke has the capability to be so violent and cruel, yet Lexa is so delicate and fragile, and still they manage to fit together like they are two broken pieces and if they press together tight enough they might become whole.

 

She lets out a deep breath as Clarke finally grabs both of her well-marked thighs and pulls her so she's resting on top of the rebel, still not breaking the kiss. Her body presses tighter against Clarke when she feels the experienced hands traveling up to rest on her ass, groping the abused skin and making Lexa the first to let out a quiet moan in the kiss. 

 

Everything seems different this time as opposed to the last time they had done this, which was probably only an hour ago or so, because right now it all seems so much gentler. They are taking time to appreciate the others body and just the feeling of being close. They stay like for a few minutes, Lexa beginning to subtly adjust herself so her thighs are on either side of Clarke's and she can press herself down a bit harder over her center. 

 

Lexa pulls back from the kiss and for a moment she just stares at Clarke, blue eyes meeting green like the earth meets the sky, and there is so much emotion there, like she's trying to understand something just out of her reach. She leans her face down more slowly and begins kissing Clarke's neck, but they are just not gentle pecked anymore. She leaves open mouthed kisses and she sucks and nips the tender skin, marking, /claiming/ this rebel just like Clarke had done to her. She closes her eyes and begins working downward, doing the same all the way down Clarke's chest until she reaches her breast and begins kissing more gently. She reaches her nipples, choosing one and taking it into her mouth to begin sucking on it and cupping the other firmly, testing if this is what the blonde wants.

Clarke sighs under the girl’s soft but hard kisses on her neck, chest and breasts. She smiles and chuckles quietly as she runs her hand up to tangle her fingers with brown hair, keeping the princess where she is, noticing how much the girl likes her large breasts. She closes her eyes, biting her lip, and hums when Lexa sucks one of her nipples, making her arch her back with wanting and tighten her grip on the girl’s hair.

 

“Come here,” She says in a whisper, pulling the girl’s head up so she can kiss her mouth in a more heated way – but keeping the slow pace they are into now. It’s different from the both times they had sex. It’s all about giving and opening and discovering. It’s more about learning and touching everything without despair or rush. She feels her chest warming up, just like her neck and her cheeks, knowing she is flushing at the prospect of, perhaps, doing something beyond just sex. Beyond the carnal need. Something she heard about, but never really experienced before.

 

Lexa lets out a quiet moan when Clarke tangles her fingers in her dark hair to hold her in place on her nipple, and she's more than willing to comply. She sucks and flicks her tongue across the sensitive bud, only letting go unwillingly when Clarke begins pulling her up so they can press their lips together.

 

The kiss is heated, yet somehow it still remains slow and discovering, like despite their lust they have a deeper, more important need to have the other in a way that is so much more than physical. Lexa feels the need to wrap both of her arms tightly around Clarke so that she can pull her close and press their bodies together as they kiss. She's still laying partially on top of the rebel, and yet it's still not close enough for her.

 

Pulling back from the kiss, Clarke stays with her eyes closed and her heavy breathing hitting the princess’ nose and lips. This right here, she never had. Sure, she is accustomed having people wanting nothing more than her body. That… That is easy. That she knows how to deal with. She would own them for a few hours before satisfying them and leaving without looking back. She bites her lip at that thought and brushes their noses as she looks up to meet green eyes looking back at her, and for second she doesn’t know how to breath properly. 

 

She isn’t used to this. Any of this. And she still doesn’t know how or even why, but the pull between them is so strong that the rebel has to blink slowly, feeling her own body tremble and her heart beat fast, and in that moment, she doesn’t feel like the big rough ruthless rebel. She feels like a shy tiny girl facing a thunderstorm in its full force.

 

Lexa feels Clarke lean back from the kiss, only to lean their foreheads together though, and when she opens her eyes, she notices how different the blonde appears. Her face is flushed and the piercing blue eyes are now wide, and almost uncertain. Lexa just gives her a soft reassuring smile and reaches down to pull off her own underwear so that she has kicked them off of her legs and they are both bare. 

 

This time, as Lexa slowly begins to grind against Clarke's thigh, she doesn't close her eyes. Green meets blue as her lips part in soft noises of pleasure and she feels herself reaching to cup Clarke's cheek so she can hold them close together while she allows herself this feeling. Already the mood is so incredibly different, because this is so tender, so loving. Instead of the rough treatment from before, they are now holding each other and looking into each other's eyes as they let this begin. 

 

They are not about to fuck, but rather make love, and the thought makes her heart beat wildly in anticipation. She lets one of her hands lower and very slowly cups over the blonde's sex so that she can give it just minor friction and start to slowly rub Clarke's clit.

With eyes glued on the green lovingly ones and her lips half parted, Clarke whimpers and gasps breathily when Lexa grinds her sex against her thigh, riding in a slow pace, spreading her arousal over the rebel skin without breaking the intense eye contact. The blonde drags her hands to hold slim waists firmly enough to steady the girl over her, to keep her pressing down just like she does. 

 

Once she feels the long soft fingers rubbing her clit, her breath gets caught in her throat for a second before she lets it out shakily, feeling her lower lip trembling with just how soaked she already is from only a few touches. She presses her fingertips into Lexa’s skin, her fingernails marking the girl lightly as she rocks her rips up, seeking more friction at the same pace as the girl rides her thigh. She bites her lip, sucking it before lifting her chin up so she can graze her nose against Lexa’s. 

 

She blinks slowly, not wanting – or being able to – take her eyes off the green orbs. She moans quietly against the plump and swollen lips, feeling the orgasm being build up with each slow stroke on her clit, making her thighs shake and her inner walls clench around nothing. Pressing her thigh up, Clarke runs one hand over Lexa’s side and up to the girl’s breast. She cups it and massages it firmly but slowly, flicking the hard nipple between her fingers, wanting and needing to hear the girl’s sounds.

Lexa can feel strong hands gently holding her hips as she slowly rubs herself on Clarke's thigh to build herself up. Her wetness is smeared under her, now slick on the rebel's thigh. Quiet moans and whines escape her lips, but the entire time she only pulls herself closer to Clarke, needing to feel their bodies closer together. Her eyelids droop with the want to close so she cans rest her head on the blonde's shoulder and ride her thigh to orgasm, but something is keeping her there, looking directly into blue eyes and letting out each quiet little noise out against Clarke's lips. 

 

As she continues to rub the girl's clit, each little moan and whimper drives her crazy, making her desperate to hear more. She feels the thigh she's grinding on press up harder into her and for a moment her eyes squeeze shut and she groans quietly, moving her free hand to Clarke's stomach so she can steady herself and push down harder to give herself more pleasure as she inserts a single finger into Clarke and continues her gentle pattern of rubbing. Slowly, she thrust and curls it inside of the blonde and her body begins to relax to all of this stimulation. She falls into a comfortable pace, thrusting inside of Clarke and humping her thigh, but as she gazes down at the girl under her, she's so overwhelmed with emotion that she knows she needs more. She considers what she's about to ask for, but in her heart she knows this is what she wants. 

 

“Clarke,” The princess's voice is breathy and she pauses her movements for a brief moment when she feels the hand fondling her and making her moan and arch into the pressure. “I need you to take my virginity.” She whispers and rest her forehead down against the girl's. “I want you to break my purity.” Her voice is sure and steady because Lexa knows this is what she needs. Clarke had already owned her in rough and lustful ways, but this is different and she knows what she's asking for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, well, well. Will Clarke go for it? ;)
> 
> Please keep leaving kudos and comments.


	14. Sheerness

Clarke sighs and closes her eyes, letting a quiet groan out as soon as she feels a finger slipping inside her. She rocks her hips, meeting each thrust with sure and in sync. She isn’t surprised by the request, and it only feels natural. As if it would have happened even without the soft plead of the girl. The rebel runs her hand up, cupping Lexa’s jaw before running her fingers up through the dark locks of her hair, gripping it firmly without actually pulling it.

 

She nuzzles her nose under the girl’s jawline before kissing and sucking on her pulse point slowly but hard enough to leave a mark. She knows she shouldn’t bruise the girl there, but she is so deep lost in the moment that she doesn’t care. So she kisses her way up to the girl’s ear, nibbling at the earlobe before brushing her lips there.

 

She leans down to lick the light sheen of sweat off Clarke's neck and starts going faster, feeling how the rebel reacts by pulling her down closer and starting to suck on her pulse point, clearly hard enough to leave a mark. She whines quietly and closes her eyes for one of the first times, automatically tilting her head to the side to let Clarke continue even though she knows this is not a place she should be marked.

 

 

 

“I will,” Clarke whispers before placing open mouthed kisses on her way down to the princess’ neck. She rocks faster against the wheel of Lexa’s palm, feeling the girl’s finger curling inside her, making her bite her lip, close her eyes and throw her head back against the pillow. She arches her back again and rides the girl’s hand as she wraps her arms around her shoulders to support herself. Hissing, her moans become louder and cracked as she feels closer to her orgasm; her walls clenching harder around the digit and her abdomen tensing gradually with each thrust. “Lexa,” She breathes out with wanting, “Please,” she begs and feels her cheeks burning, self conscious at having to beg for the first time.

 

 

 

Lexa feels how Clarke's inner walls squeeze around her when she first pushes past the girl's entrance. She groans quietly at the feeling of the blonde beginning to slowly meet her thrust and encourage Lexa to go harder and deeper, but she stays slowly for now, just enjoying how Clarke's body reacts to getting so worked up.

 

When the rebel agrees to take her proper virginity, Lexa feels relief wash over her, like at least part of her had been scared of that rejection.

 

Lexa seems to only realize that she's still only pleasuring Clarke with one finger when the girl speaks up in her raspy voice, pleading for the first time Lexa has heard. She slowly slides two more fingers into Clarke as an instant reward and leans down to kiss her lips again, starting to thrust them steadily in and out as her thumb continues to rub her clit in circles. She realizes that this may be one of the first times Clarke has ever really let go and given up her power, so she wants to make this special. She doesn't slip down between the girl's legs, instead she just keeps her green eyes gazing directly into blue and her free hand cupping the rebel's cheek so she is directing their gazes to meet.

 

 

 

“Look at me.” She breaths out quietly and thrust her fingers in deeper and gradually faster as she presses down harder on her clit. “You're beautiful.” The princess says quietly and leans her face down to suck possessively on Clarke's neck, making sure their claims are even. “You're mine.” She whispers against the skin and leans back to watch the girl's face as she thrust in knuckle deep and curls the digits inside of her while rubbing her clit in fast circles. “Let go for me.”

 

 

 

As soon as Lexa adds two more fingers inside her, Clarke arches her back and scratches the girl’s back with her fingernails, moaning loudly with her eyes shut and head pressed down against the pillow. She rocks her hips faster, making the girl’s fingers go deeper and when the princess uses her thumb to stimulate her clit, the rebel hisses and groans before opening her eyes as requested. She meets with dark green eyes gazing at her intensely, making the moment ethereal and untouchable.

 

Her chin trembles as well as her lower lip and she closes her eyes briefly when Lexa claims her with her mouth and her words. When the girl pulls back, Clarke is already staring at her openly, feeling exposed in a way she’s never done before. Hit by the emotions and the way the girl touches her – as if she’s been doing it for her whole life; as if she knows what makes the blonde whine, and groan, and melt with a slightly graze in the right way – the rebel girl opens her mouth in a silent moan as her walls clenches hard around the girl’s fingers and her body trembles with the spasms of the powerful orgasm.

 

 

 

She holds Lexa by her shoulders hard as she rides off. Not being able to stay with her eyes open, she shuts them close and presses her face in the curve of the girl’s neck until her body goes limp and the trembling gradually subsides. With her mouth slightly agape, she breathes heavily into the girl’s neck, still holding hard for a long time until she breathes out a ‘ _Lexa_ ,’ again, this time with no plead, but with reverence and need to feel the girl closer. “Lexa,” she repeats with her lips brushing the salty skin of the girl’s neck.

 

 

 

The visual under Lexa is absolutely amazing as she watches Clarke's body arch upward and struggle to take her three fingers for a minute before she relaxes back and allows the intrusion with a loud groan. The princess keeps her eyes glued to the girl under her, staring into the rebel's big blue eyes and watching as they become more and more desperate.

 

She never breaks eyes contact with the blonde and it's the most amazing thing she's ever seem when Clarke's body tenses and arches up into her, her sex suddenly tightening around Lexa's fingers. She watches Clarke's face as she comes undone, her pussy throbbing while Lexa continues to thrust deep inside of her to draw out her orgasm.

 

Finally, as she feels the girl under her beginning to quiver from the aftershocks of her orgasm, she slows the thrust and gently draws out her fingers after Clarke's sex stops clenching around her.

 

She feels the way the girl is practically trembling under her and the way she keeps whispering her name quietly, so the princess brings her fingers up to her mouth to suck them off before leaning down and softly kissing Clarke's lips. She cups the side of her face and kisses her with passion and tenderness for a few minutes, feeling their sweaty bodies pushed up against each other and hearing how both of them are breathing heavily. She pulls back, but only so that she can lean her face down into Clarke's neck and place open mouthed kisses there.

 

The kisses very quickly turn to sucking, and that turns to biting as Lexa marks this girl under her right there in her throat, in the most visible place. She nudges up Clarke's chin with her nose and bites the girl's jaw, leaving what's she's sure will be a dark claim. She's sure Clarke has marked people like this, but something tells her it had never been mutual.

 

 

 

Clarke didn't often allow other people to do the same to her, but now she lays obediently as Lexa pins her down to bite her and claim her. Eventually her touches soften and she goes back to soothe over every sore spot with gentle kisses. “Mine. You belong to me.” She tells the blonde in a quiet voice and leans her forehead down against Clarke's as she lets out a deep breath.

 

 

 

With her eyes closed and her breathing heavy, Clarke hums and lifts her chin up giving room for Lexa’s mouth to attack and mark her neck and jaw. She hisses and grunts quietly as she scratches the girl’s back hard, claiming her as well.

 

The rebel body is still shaking slightly when she hears the princess’ voice and it’s then that she opens her eyes and gives a small nod with her lips parted, barely brushing their noses together. She keeps looking at the girl’s eyes, slowly dragging her fingernails over the already bruised back of the girl until she closes the small gap between them and pulls Lexa into a deep kiss, grazing and sucking the girl’s tongue and lips, tasting herself in them. She groans into it, pressing her thigh up against the girl sex and gripping her waist firmly so she can turn them around.

 

Lexa can feel how Clarke's nails dig into her back when she kisses and bites the girl's throat. It makes her let out a quiet hiss and groan as Clarke scratches her pale skin and makes her arch up into the pressure. She squeezes her eyes shut and pushes her sex down against Clarke's thigh to rub herself on it.

 

The rebel leans up to kiss her and Lexa instantly opens her mouth and pulls herself closer. She keeps letting out quiet moans and gasp, trying to get herself impossibly closer, like even pressed up tightly naked together isn't close enough. Clarke seems to get the idea, because after just a few minutes of kissing and clinging to each other, the girl is flipping them over and pressing her back into the bed so Lexa can wrap her legs around Clarke's waist and open her eyes to look at the blonde on top of her.

 

 

 

Once pinning the younger one, Clarke props herself in her elbow and strokes the brown curls slowly as she adjusts herself over her. Leaning down to rest her forehead against Lexa’s, Clarke nudges the girl’s nose with hers and places a small tender kiss on the corner of her lips before pulling back enough to look into green vivid eyes, “Yours.” She says in a whisper, giving herself completely to this girl who she only have met twice, but can’t help but feel like they know each other for centuries.

 

 

 

For someone she hasn't spent much time with, she feels the safest and happiest when she's wrapped up in Clarke's arms, like a part of her knows their souls have been intertwined far longer than they are aware. She hears Clarke echo her words back to her quietly, giving herself up willing and gently, which makes Lexa relax back into the pillow and calms her nerves partially. They belong to each other and support each other like the sky holds the earth and Lexa just nods her head slightly.

 

Slowly the rebel girl trails down kisses, sucks and bites over the princess neck, but she only starts to mark her once she reaches the girl’s chest and her rounded breasts, giving each one a proper treatment. The blonde girl runs her free hand down, caressing and memorizing each curve of the body under her as she takes a nipple into her mouth and sucks it hard, then using her tongue to soothe the sensitive skin.

 

The blonde begins to pull back to kiss down her neck and to her breast, where Lexa's nipples are already hard and aching for contact. She's soothed by a warm mouth wrapping around the sensitive bud. The brunette lets out a deep breath and tangles her fingers in Clarke's hair so that she can hold her in place and arch her chest against the girl's mouth.

 

Reaching Lexa’s sex and cupping it, Clarke pulls her head back to look at the girl, wanting to watch every reaction and expression as her middle finger slips through the slick folds and down over the pulsing clit in a light touch. She grazes her digit over the girl’s entrance before slipping up to rub the bud in slow circles, spreading the arousal around it.

 

 

 

“Please.” The princess murmurs quietly and lets out a soft gasp when she feels Clarke's fingers traveling down her body to begin slowly rubbing her clit. “Please, more.” She whispers again, and this time her gaze locks with the rebel's so they can watch each other as Clarke's finger slowly pushes against her entrance, not yet penetrating her. Very slowly, she relaxes her legs and lets her knees fall to either side of her so that she's spread wide open for the girl on top of her. “Clarke, I want this. I want you.” She promises quietly and manages to keep her eyes open, her pupils blown with lust, but also something so much more, as Clarke touches her.

 

 

 

Pressing her finger down against the throbbing clit, Clarke locks her eyes with Lexa and leans down enough to brush the tip of their noses together. She gives a tiny nod at the begging and tangle her fingers with the girl’s hair as she caress the princess lips with hers ever so slightly before pressing them together in a quick but soft kiss. She pulls back only to look at the girl again for a second, and then she lowers her head down again, peppering kisses on the girl’s cheek, ear, jaw and neck, nuzzling the tip of her nose on her pulse point as she keeps rubbing her clit in a slow pace, taking her time to worship the girl.

 

Once Lexa spread her legs open, Clarke rests her forehead against the girl’s and looks into her beautiful eyes as she carefully slips her middle finger down, circling the small entrance before pressing it into her gradually, without rush, feeling the walls clenching around her digit until she meets the frail barrier.

 

 

 

“This is going to sting, alright?” She says gently, waiting until Lexa gives her a soft nod before stroking the girl’s hair as she slowly thrusting her finger in, breaking and taking Lexa’s virginity as she uses her thumb to stimulate the clit with care to not overwhelm the girl. When her finger is knuckles deep, she drawls it out just as slow before pushing it back carefully, taking a low pace with her eyes fixed on the girl under her. “You okay?” She asks before placing a small kiss on the corner of plump lips.

Lexa feels how gently Clarke is touching her and he swallows hard, trying to relax so that it won't hurt as badly when she is penetrated for the first time.

 

 

 

She's clearly nervous but the way Clarke is nuzzling against her and touching her softly makes her calm down. She can feel her wetness is already smeared down her thigh and then up across her clit so Clarke can keep stimulating her as a single finger presses against her entrance and begins to slowly enter her. She leans her head back into the pillows and lets out a deep breath, her pussy squeezing down around Clarke's finger as she feels the girl press against a part of herself she hasn't felt before.

 

She whines softly and her lips part so she can take deep breaths. Clarke's voice breaking the quiet makes her look up so she can gaze into the familiar eyes to soothe herself, and she nods slightly, placing both of her hands on Clarke's shoulders. She slides one up to hold the back of Clarke's head and tangle her fingers in soft blonde hair, and she doesn't break their gaze as the girl on top of her slowly pushes her finger further in, making the pressure increase until her hymen tears and she whimpers quietly.

 

It stings more than she had expected it would, and for a moment she tries to shrink back from the pressure, but the move is ungraceful and she ends up just getting having Clarke's thrust hit her at different angle. She goes still again and digs her nails into Clarke's shoulders, letting her body adjust to having Clarke inside of her knuckle deep. After the initial pain of having her virginity taken, she's beginning to relax again and as the blonde begins thrusting into her again, very slowly and testingly, she lets out a deep breath and keeps her legs spread so the girl can thrust easier and deeper.

 

 

 

“I'm okay.” She whispers quietly and tries to focus on the pleasure of the stimulation on her clit instead of the aching caused by Clarke's fingers thrusting inside of her. She slowly opens her eyes again and keeps looking into blue eyes, letting out soft moans when Clarke pushes her finger deeper or rubs a particularly pleasurable spot for her. “Clarke…” She whispers and lifts her hips slightly, feeling how the pain is fading and becoming so much more pleasurable.

 

 

 

Clarke keeps her eyes on the girl under her, watching carefully how she reacts and how her expression changes from anxiety, to pain, to pleasure. How trustful she is by keeping her legs spread, and how she is willing to give herself completely to the rebel.

 

 

 

When Lexa says she is okay in a whisper, the blonde girl nods and whispers an “okay” back. Locking her eyes with the princess, Clarke leans down to rest her forehead against the girl, brushing their noses together and feeling her warm breath hit her dried lips. “I’m here,” she whispers. “I’m here, Lex,” She says with her lips caressing Lexa’s as she thrusts her fingers inside the girl, picking up the pace and going gradually faster as her thumb presses and rubs the pulsing and slick clit. She peppers lingeringly kisses over the girl’s face, her forehead, nose, eyes, lips, cheeks and chin, before trailing down on the jawline and neck.

 

 

 

There, she bites and sucks the warm skin hard enough to be good, but to no leave marks. “Mine,” She mumbles against Lexa’s neck. “Mine,” She repeats, moving her lips up to the little ear and biting the earlobe before sucking it hard. “Mine,”  She says again, curling her fingers inside the girl, rubbing a spot with her middle finger. “Mine.”

 

 

 

Again, and again, and again, as she pulls out her finger and shoves it back with the index one, feeling Lexa’s walls clenching around her two digits hard before relaxing. Enjoying the sounds coming out of the girl’s lips and licking the sweat from her neck, cheeks and forehead, Clarke presses her thumb hard against the girl’s clit and pulls her head back enough to look into the princess’s eyes, “Let it go, babe,” she rasps out and bites her lip. She grunts quietly when her breasts brushes against Lexa’s and she shoves her fingers harder into the girl, fucking her hard and quick. “Come for me,” she adds a third finger in and curls them inside the girl.

 

 

 

Lexa feels so overwhelmed in these new emotions that she reaches up into Clarke's hair and holds a handful tightly, needing to ground herself as the feeling of Clarke starting to fuck her harder increases. The pleasure of it is still tinted with pain, but the rebel is leaning down to hold her close and whispering quietly to her, so she only lets her knees spread further and lets out a deep breath. "Clarke..." She moans out throatily and reaches her hand down to grasp the woman's shoulder, digging her nails into it and trying to steady herself as she's thrusted into.

 

 

 

She throws her head back and arches up to give the blonde a better angle and feels how another finger is pushed into her, stretching her tight entrance for the first time. It feels good now, unlike when it had first started and she forces her eyes open to look up at Clarke, pupils blown with lust but also all sorts of other emotions, deeper emotions. It's one thing to do this with Clarke, who she cares so much for and who she knows with be gentle with her, but she can't imagine a man she just met doing this to her on her wedding night. She knows she made the right choice to be here, giving herself to Clarke.

 

Her mouth is open so she can take deep breaths and let out quiet whines of pleasure, still scratching her nails down Clarke's shoulders and back, feeling how their chests rub together. She can feel the girl's claiming nips and the way she sucks her throat, and Lexa just tilts her head back to submit. The stimulation on her clit and the two fingers inside her are more than enough to get her right at the edge, her face pressed into Clarke's shoulder to muffle her sounds as she gets closer and closer. Her eyes are more desperate and she begins slowly meeting each thrust with quiet cries of pleasure.

 

 

 

“Clarke. Clarke.” She starts holding her tighter as she gets closer, and soon enough she hears the rebel gently soothing her to let go and she seems to struggle with it for a moment, her body extended there on the edge while she trembles and stretches to allow Clarke's three fingers to fuck her. Finally the woman curls her fingers just right and Lexa bites into Clarke's shoulder and closes her eyes as her pussy clenches down tightly around the blonde's fingers and pulses as she comes, hard and fast.

 

 

 

She rides the orgasm hard on Clarke's fingers and keeps holding the girl next to her, whining and bucking her hips until the orgasm subsides after a minute of intense bliss. Her sex still stings and there is a bit of blood on the sheets from where she lost her purity, but she's breathing hard and satisfied, not regretting anything.

Clarke lifts her head up enough to watch the girl as she curls her fingers in a way inside her, hitting the right spot and making the princess come hard, bucking her hips hard and riding fast on her fingers. The rebel closes her eyes and hisses with a smirk, feeling the nails scratching her back and the princess’ teeth digging and bruising her skin on her shoulder.

 

The small cries of pleasure coming out of Lexa’s mouth makes Clarke grunt and she slows her pace until the girl’s body rests and stops trembling, but she keeps them inside though, liking the feeling of the tight hole around her digits, clenching and unclenching after holding her fingers hard from the orgasm.

 

Opening her clear blue eyes, she nuzzles her nose against the beautiful girl under her and she brushes their lips together in a small caress gently and lovingly, with extreme care. She then trails little kisses down to the girl’s ear and she takes the earlobe into her mouth, sucking it as she slowly moves her thumb over the girl’s clit.

 

 

 

“This might hurt again, okay?” She says, slowly withdrawing her fingers from Lexa’s pussy. “Shh,” She whispers, dragging her lips over the girl’s neck, jaw and cheek; peppering open mouthed kisses on the plump and dried lips of the princess until her digits are out. “You did great,” She kisses the corner of the brunette’s mouth before pulling back to look at /her/ girl. “You okay?” The rebel asks knowing that there is a bit of blood on the sheets and around her fingers, but she just licks Lexa’s cum off of them and uses her hand to caress the girl’s side and breast, massaging it without second intention.

 

 

 

She just… Needs to touch every part of Lexa’s body, not always in a sexual way. She bites playfully on the girl’s chin and looks up to her again, hoping that she didn’t hurt her too much, knowing that this time things were different from the way she fucked the princess from behind or how the girl had taken Clarke as if she knew exactly what to do. She sighs quietly and leans down to rest her forehead against Lexa’s, watching the girl’s pupils changing and the different tones of green around it, almost like a green space dust.

 

The longer they lay there, the more Lexa relaxes, feeling how Clarke remains inside of her throbbing pussy. She feels full and lets out quiet groans when she clenches down around Clarke's fingers in a particularly hard way. It takes her body a little while to relax, but she's thankful Clarke hasn't pulled out of her her yet. When the blonde finally leans down to start pressing kisses to her face, she slowly wraps her arms around Clarke and holds her close as a sort of comfort, hearing how she says that when she pulls out it might hurt.

 

Lexa slowly relaxes herself and brings one hand up to Clarke's cheek to hold her as the woman slowly extracts her fingers, making Lexa start to whine and pull her closer. It stings a bit but once Clarke has them out, it's a relief to know that her aching sex won't have to endure any more. Her dazed green eyes stare up into clear blue ones and she lets out a deep breath, so much trust and love in her gaze for this woman she just gave herself to.

 

 

 

“I'm okay. Thank you.” She breaths out quietly and watches as the blonde brings her fingers up to her mouth to suck, and seeing the traces of blood on them seems to make everything real. Noble girls are supposed to bleed on their wedding night because it signifies their purity, and yet now here she is, laying in bed in a poor village where no one knows who she is next to Clarke Griffin who now has the stain of Lexa's virginity on her fingers and can see it on the sheets.

 

 

 

She should be crying, or regretting this, or getting up to leave, but instead she relaxes completely into Clarke's strong arms and savors the feeling of calloused but gentle hands caressing down her ribs and then gliding back up to begin rubbing and fondling her breast. She tilts her head back to rest herself on the pillow and lets out a quiet breath. She watches Clarke and gently reaches up to stroke her face, feeling their naked bodies molded together and both lightly covered in sweat.

 

 

 

“I'm completely yours now.” The princess says quietly and slowly leans forward to press a long, slow kiss to Clarke's lips. She knows the words are true and she begins slowly running her hands up and down the rebel's back, feeling the scratch marks that are now there.

 

 

 

Her eyes gaze at Clarke's neck and chest to see the many marks that are now there as well and yet she knows her skin is free of any claim on her throw but she wants that to change. Maybe when she goes home she will struggle to completely conceal it, but for now she wants to have some sort of physical mark to remind her who she belongs to. She wraps her arm around the back of Clarke's neck and tilts her head back, exposing the column of her throat and gently pulling Clarke lower in a clear invitation to mark her.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? :)
> 
> Sorry we haven't posted last week! We were writing our next Clexa stories a lot and I wasn't really in the mood to edit. (Bad excuse, I know! But at least you guys know that you have more stories coming next.) Once again, thanks to everyone who is commenting and giving kudos, I love all of you. Thank you for all the lovely compliments.


	15. Dangerous Games

Two weeks later, with brows furrowed and lips pressed in a thin line, Clarke walks with her chin up and her usual confident instance. She is all rebel in this moment with sharp eyes and a dangerous expression and her hands both curled into hard fists on each side of her. With her jaw clenched, the blonde girl steps through an old trail through the forest and around the village where she was working on before she laid her eyes on Lexa after months. 

 

They have been walking for at least thirty minutes in almost completely silence with the sun bright over their heads, making her feel the droplets of sweat dripping off her jaw and flowing down to her neck and collarbones. The girl at her side is way taller in her fancy heels and clothes and her hair made up. The bony shoulders of the princess are squared and she carries herself with the pride of a true monarch, and the fingers of the rebel girl itch to touch. She doesn’t, though. She only curls them harder and flicks her eyes ahead, stubbornly and proudly. 

 

Yes, she had lost the argument, but she is too much of an strong minded girl to be fine with it. She is honest, though. She recognizes that the girl’s plan is valid. It’s good and it can be the way to the rebels victory. But it doesn’t mean she has to fucking like it. So yes, she is broody and grumpy and she wants to cut or punch something. She huffs to herself and looks down to Lexa’s heel, knowing that the girl’s feet must be killing her after all the walk. They don’t have the time to stop, though, not when they are already so close. 

 

“You can go barefoot,” She grits out, looking forward and not making eye contact, trying to be nonchalant about it – when she actually cares. “I don’t think they will mind it.” She shrugs and glances at the tie around the princess’ wrists – something to make the whole scene ‘believable’.

 

Lexa keeps her eyes trained forward at the path they are on in the forest and, like Clarke, she remains quiet and tries to ignore the tension between them. Clearly, the rebel wasn't happy about Lexa winning the argument and getting her way in being brought back to the rebel compound. 

 

When the idea had been brought up, Lexa had been confident and sure of herself, not showing any signs of fear or hesitation, but now that there are walking and nearly there, she would be lying if she said she was completely confident. Either way, she walks with her chin up and shoulders squared, her heels crunching against dead leaves as they walk. 

 

The rebel's voice breaks the silence and she turns to look at Clarke, who won't even meet her eyes. The brunette considers the proposition for a moment and then nods. Since her hands are tied, it is difficult for her to steady herself, so she leans back against the rebel to reach down with both hands and fiddle with one buckle until the shoe comes off, then does the same on the other, leaving the clearly expensive items to rest on the forest floor. She curls her toes in the dirt and stands herself up straight again, now closer to Clarke's height. Despite how angry the blonde is with her, she gives her a slight smile, pretending not to notice her bad mood as they continue forward. 

 

As Lexa leans against Clarke, the rebel puts her hand on the girl’s waist to support and steady her, fighting the urge to just kneel and take the heels off of the princess’ feet. She doesn’t do it, though. They are in a clear path and someone might still see them. It wouldn’t look good for her to be caught being gentle with the girl with no reason. When Lexa straightens herself again, Clarke’s blue eyes bores into the green ones before falling down to the girl’s smile, making some of her walls crumble. She reflects the small smile and with a slight nod, they continue the walk in a still but less moody silence. 

 

The way the rebel carries herself like a true leader beside her, back straight, eyes fierce, makes butterflies erupt in Lexa’s stomach because it reminds her of when they had first met. After they walk for another long interval, Lexa stiffens when she hears someone shout to the side of them, probably someone on patrol of the territory. 

 

“What are you girls-” He cuts off when he recognizes first Lexa, and then Clarke.

 

The rebel recognizes the trail’s almost end and in a blink, she is back to her usual self. She can already smell and hear the buzz of the compound and her muscles tense up at the unsure prospect of entering it with the younger girl by her side. It doesn’t take long, though, for her to hear Jasper familiar voice shouting on their side and appearing through the woods well armed and with a shocked expression. 

 

“Clarke,” The slim boy says, flicking his eyes curiously between the two girls. Clarke lifts her chin up and greets him with a ‘mm’ that sounds more like a friendly grunt. This wasn’t on the plan, so they will have to improvise. She keeps with her face trained on the guy who looks as if he is waiting for some explanation – which, really, almost makes the rebel girl chuckle ironically. She doesn’t, though, but her expression flicks to something dangerous as she looks intensely at the brown eyes of the boy. 

 

“No word about this to anyone, Jordan.” The ‘or else’ goes without her saying and he nods vigorously. “Go on and do your duty, eh?” She says before reaching for the tie between Lexa’s wrists and walking ahead tugging the girl to step forward with her. 

 

As they continue walking, Lexa can't help letting out a breath of relief because she knows that Clarke has got this under control. Everyone seems to look at her with such respect and always pays clear attention to her orders, so it makes Lexa feel safer to know that this woman will be looking out for her the whole time.

 

Clarke’s heart beats loudly when they finally enter the nearly vacant compound, knowing that the most of the rebels are helping the villages or in their tents at this hour of the day. Still, there is some people outside who now look at them with aghast and stunned expressions. The little ones look curiously, though, with a bit of wonder in their tiny eyes as they look at Lexa, and really, Clarke can relate to that. The girl is breathtaking and exquisite (and clearly not from their world). 

 

Lexa’s green eyes remained trained in front of her as her bare feet touch the cold ground of the compound. It looks like it used to be some warehouse or storage place but it has now been abandoned and used for their own purposes. She feels herself press closer to Clarke, just hardly noticeably for comfort and then there are eyes on her, people watching as she's lead forward into the back section of this building. The people go silent and then murmur quietly when she's passed, wondering what's going on.

 

It doesn’t take long, though, for them to reach Jake’s tent and soon they are in front of the man, who stopped midway at their entrance and now looks down at them with an unreadable face.

As soon as they enter a back room, Lexa notices a tall man with light brown hair and a defined jaw turn to stare at her. There is a clear resemblance to Clarke and she just lifts her chin and straightens herself, staying quiet for a moment before the man walks forward with purpose in his step, making Lexa want to shrink even though on the outside she doesn't move. 

 

He steps forward until he is directly in front of her and reaches up to grab her jaw roughly, but Lexa doesn't pull back, like she's used to this kind of man handling. “You’re the one who tried to kill my daughter.” His voice is low and infuriated but Lexa keeps their eyes locked. He then turns to Clarke and looks over Lexa's shoulder at his girl. “Where did you find her?” 

 

Before the rebel can speak up, Lexa does herself. “I found, Clarke, sir.” The words are strained because he's still holding her face roughly. “I brought myself here. I have a deal I want to make with you.”

 

Clarke clenches her jaw and holds herself put when she sees her father stepping towards them and grabbing Lexa by her jaw. Her body is screaming to react, to push him back and get between them, to protect the girl and plead on her behalf. But it would go against their plan, so she presses her lips together, hard, and holds her breath for a second as she watches and listens to Lexa’s steady voice.

 

The rebel almost smile at the bravery of the girl. At how she doesn’t waver and how her voice doesn’t break, and she is proud. She knows she’s made the right move choosing the princess to be hers (even if it doesn’t feel like choice, but more like fate). Jake’s blue eyes flicks back to the young girl and his brows furrows – the exact same way Clarke does. He pulls the princess by her jaw closer, staring at her as his mind works with the new information before letting the girl’s face go in a rough movement. 

 

He huffs and crosses his arms over his chest, really looking at his daughter since they got there as he steps back and leans against the table.

 

“You made sure she was alone and you weren’t followed?” He asks in a calm tone – the one he only uses with Clarke. She breathes out catching on it and nods firmly, holding his gaze openly.

 

“I guess someone grew tired of being beating up by the king,” She half shrugs, pointing to the princess with her chin, knowing her words are hard on Lexa, but she has to play her cards right. Jake hums and looks between the both of them again before turning around to grab a bottle of rum from his desk, 

 

“And you believe her?” He asks in a light tone, curiously at how ‘blasé’ his daughter is being towards the one who tried to kill her. The blonde girl works her jaw and doesn’t dare to take a look at Lexa’s direction because her father might see some intimacy on her eyes. So she steps closer to him, acting naturally as she takes two cups and holds them up as the man fills it with the alcohol. 

 

“I don’t know, if I’m being honest,” She answers after a few seconds, gulping the liquid quickly. “But either way, she can be useful. She has access to places and papers we could never touch, and, before you ask, she doesn’t know the way here. I made a lot of unnecessary turns. There is no way she can lead them back here.” Clarke says confidently before stepping closely to her father and smiling at the man she looks up to. 

 

“This could be it, dad. I truly believe we can break them this time,” the words are full of hope and her voice is smooth, but not pleading. It’s honest and open and Jake smiles back after a moment, digesting his daughter words slowly. With a small nod, he looks over the rebel girl’s shoulder to look at the princess again. 

 

“You will stay alive for today as long as you tell me everything you know about the piece of shit that is your king. If you have something that we can use, you live for another day. Understood?” He straights up and kisses Clarke’s forehead before stepping closer to Lexa again. “Then, because my daughter seems to somehow believe in you, you will stay here for two more days as our… Guest. If we go through these days without your father’s men invading the compound, we will talk about the deal you have to offer. Does it sound good for you?”

 

Lexa watches Clarke and her father interact, and she can't help the way that her chest tightens nervously. She knows that Clarke would do anything in the world to protect her, but if they go through with the plan, her options are somewhat limited. 

 

In this situation, Clarke can't protect her from certain little things and she can't do anything that would stand out as suspicious, so they are forced to stand there acting like they are enemies when in reality Lexa just wants to turn around and cuddle herself into the rebel's arms to feel safe again. 

 

She watches as the blonde strides forward, her eyes sharp and dangerous like the way she carries herself, making the princess take her all in and hold back a smirk because she can turn this powerful woman into a mess within minutes. 

 

Her mind snaps back to where it should be, on the present situation, when Jake Griffin steps closer to her with a proposal. Staying in a cell somewhere for two days doesn't sound appealing, but it's a small price to pay to earn the man's trust, so her green eyes gaze up at his, proud and defiant.

 

“Yes sir.” She tenses her jaw and watches his expression for a moment until his unreadable eyes break their gaze and he looks back at Clarke. 

 

“If she makes any move at you, then kill her. I want more security and I don't want her alone anywhere.” He is clearly more protective of his daughter now and his opinion of Lexa and expectations of her are low. “I'll trust your judgment on where to keep her. If you want to put her in a cell then go ahead but if you keep her free like this then keep an eye on her.” He talks as if the princess isn't even there and Lexa just stands quietly, but when he finishes his short talk, she gazes up at him and raises her bound wrist up in front of him. 

 

“As your 'guest', I would like these off.” He turns to stare at her, like he's unable to believe she would make such a comment to him. The princess, however just keeps their gazes locked and after a moment he reaches down to grab the knife off his desk and slice the rope off so her wrist are free.

 

When the request slips from Lexa’s lips, Clarke raises an eyebrow and glare at the girl over her father’s shoulder. She is torn between chuckling and rolling her eyes and shoving the princess on the chest for her boldness, but she doesn’t do either. Jake reacts pretty much like his daughter, though more sharply and untrusting. 

 

He is tough and somewhat a brute, but he is just as smart as Clarke, and he respects someone who can hold their head up and speak to him looking in the eye. As he holds the knife in his hand, he spares a look at his daughter, who is now looking at the exchange in front of her attentively and for a second there, the leader of the rebel’s wonders if he saw worry on his little girl’s eyes. The thought is dismissed quickly though, and soon he is freeing the princess’ wrists from the rope. 

 

“I will be her shadow,” Clarke’s voice is firm as she steps closer to Lexa with her eyes on knife in Jake’s hand. “She isn’t stupid, I hope, to think that this time she would be able to run,” The blonde smirks dirtily with a dry chuckle, playing her role with easy. The man hums before flicking his eyes to the green unfazed ones and his smile grows slowly. 

 

“It’s a pity you have his blood in your veins,” He says directly to the princess, his eyes wandering over the girl’s face, taking her in for the first time, “You’d make a fierce rebel.” He flicks his tongue on the roof of his mouth, making a tsk sound and steps around his desk, sitting on the chair behind it. Clarke purses her lips because, yes, she’d thought the same thing since she met Lexa months ago, and that comment puts her in a more relaxed mood. 

 

Her father is giving her girl a chance to prove herself useful, a chance to escape and outsmart the king. A chance to, maybe, start and win a revolution – and bring some peace and a better live to the people. 

 

Feeling more confident with how things are going, she leans her hip against the desk, crosses her arms over her chest and point the free chair for the princess to sit. “Go on and tell him everything you know about your father.”

 

Lexa watches how the man's eyes bore into her own and she just keeps their gazes locked, interested in what he's going to say. She hears his words and part of her tenses, because the blood in her veins that belongs to her father has nothing to do with who she is. That man hasn't raised her or done anything but show her cruelty. The only things that were ever emphasized by him were obedience and properness, and both of those were for his selfish reasons instead of for making Lexa a better person.

 

“With all due respect, that doesn't mean anything. For all I've become, he holds no responsibility.” Her words are sure and slightly tense because the pure mention of her father is enough to make her blood boil. Hearing Clarke's voice though makes her relax slightly and she walks over to sit down in the chair across from Jake. 

 

Clarke shoots another glare at Lexa’s way when the girl objects Jake’s comment. She quickly looks at her father and watches the man’s face of surprise, and then the smug smile – much like the one Clarke always carries – appears on his lips and he nods to himself with a dry chuckle, adjusting slightly and comfortably on his chair as the mood changes with the princess words. The blonde rebel isn’t surprised by how well the other girl speaks and how objective she is – after all, the brunette grew up to a queen. But it’s nice to hear the politeness in her tone and how she holds her head up, moving it slightly to her right side as she talks.

 

“I know where he keeps the records from the court, and where the weak spots in castle security are. I know the kingdom is aware of some of the rebel compounds, but they haven't attacked and arrested anyone yet because they are going to make an example of them and burn the buildings to the ground.” She knows it won't matter if it's somewhere with orphaned children staying there, or if there are more civilians than rebels. Her father won't care. 

 

“I know his schedule and when he's alone. And I can get your people into the castle.” She knows it will be hard, but if she dresses Clarke up in one of her fancy gowns and does her up like a princess, she's sure she could sneak her into the coming ball. Others could dress up as whores to get in and Lexa would have to try to get them weapons after that, because they would be searched before being let near her father.

 

The last sentence catches the rebel girl’s attention and she arches an eyebrow at that, pursing her lips in thought before averting her eyes to her father, who looks interested on the information. He nods and taps his fingers on the table in thought, eyes trained on Lexa as he evaluates everything in his mind with precision. After a moment, he looks up to his daughter. 

 

“I will have to talk to the council first, obviously, but if the girl can really get some of us in the right areas of the castle and if she is truly running from the shit that is her father is doing, I believe we are about to take the biggest step in our history.” Jake says with a trace of smile directed at Clarke, who shares an intimate look with her father. In silence, they both think about Abby, what this would mean for them, and for the each one of the rebel who have lost so much to the King’s hand. 

 

They’ve never dared to hope, but they also never stepped so close to achieve big and hurt the monarchy hard before – not like this. In silence, the leader of the rebels take a pen and blank, although yellow-ish, papers from the drawer and slides them to the other edge of the desk at Lexa’s direction. 

 

“Put everything down. Everything you can remember, even if it doesn’t seem important. Once you are finished, you will go to Clarke’s tent and stay put. We will check the facts, and if your information is validated, we will be talking again.” 

 

He gets up and steps around the desk to pull his daughter in a tight but quick embrace. “If we win this, it will be on you,” The man says, pressing his lips on the blonde’s forehead before pulling back to looks into her eyes, “Your mother would be proud.” 

 

Clarke clenches her jaw, fighting against the mix of emotions at the mention of her mother and she nods, not able to open her mouth. Her father seems to understand, though, and so he smiles before stepping out of the room, leaving both girls alone.

Lexa sits quietly, somewhat surprised how relaxed Jake is. Maybe it's just because of how cruel her own father has been, but she expects him to be harsh and violent when she disagrees with him, only to her relief this man seems reasonable. The way he speaks to Clarke and holds her gently makes Lexa stop and stare for a moment, something akin to hurt shining in her eyes as she wonders if this is what most relationships are like. The only person she has ever fully trusted and been protected by is Clarke, so this is all new to her still.

 

She notices how Jake starts to leave and she stands up quickly from her chair, noticing how he turns aggressively like he's expecting her to attack or do something else stupid, but she just paused and looks him in the eyes.

 

“Sir, thank you.” It's difficult for her to say the words, but she knows this man is being lenient with her after everything that has happened between their people and them. She's lucky he doesn't string her up and kill her as an example of what happens when someone tries to kill his daughter. She watches the man look her up and down then nod slightly, leaving Clarke and her alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all of our lovely readers, it's PaperAdventures here! I just want to apologize (again) for not following the update schedule. I really hope that we will get back on track but to be honest Lexark and I are writing so many different fanfics that we can hardly stick with one for more than a week. We have finished writing this one and so we only need to edit it and post it. It's at over 200k words if I'm not mistaken so you have a lot more to look forward to. 
> 
> We have so many readers and kudos (for me anyway!) so I really appreciate all you guys. I read every single comment and love to hear your thoughts and opinions on the characters. 
> 
> We should be posting our next fanfiction soon as well as updating this one, so we hope you all will enjoy that one as well. As always, thanks for reading and please remember to leave kudos and comments.


	16. Home

Lexa pulls out the pen she was given and starts trying to write down everything she had said before like important times and rooms where different things are stored. It takes her several minutes to scribble down what she needs to and then she stands up from the chair and turns to smile at Clarke. 

  
  


“I was right after all.” She raises her eyebrows and stands up. Her bare feet pressing down on the cold ground and her gown dragging gracefully behind her as she runs her fingers through her hair and pulls herself closer to Clarke.

 

“Don’t be a smartass,” Clarke says with an eyebrow raised and crossed arms on her chest as she watches the princess standing up and closing the gap between them. She can’t help the smiling tugging on her lips, though – especially now that the first step was over. As soon as Lexa is close, the rebel places her hand on the girl’s waist and pulls her closer with easy, pressing the slim body against hers ably.

  
  


She is still half seated, half leaned against her father’s desk and so she is a bit smaller than the brunette, who looks smug and confident. She chuckles, wrapping her arms around her girl’s waist lazily and comfortably, enjoying how their bodies fit without problem.

  
  


Looking up because of the height difference, she places a kiss on the pointed chin of the princess before nuzzling her nose under the girl’s jaw quickly. “You made quite the impression,” She says, recognizing the girl’s skills. She smiles again, openly this time, hoping that the girl can see it in her eyes just how much she is proud of her.

  
  


As her fingers grazes on the fabric of the girl’s gown in her back, Clarke kisses Lexa’s jawline. Lexa smiles softly as she's pulled closer into the rebel's arms and hums in approval, automatically leaning her head to the side while Clarke presses a kisses to her skin and instantly calms her nerves. She had been strung tightly because of the stress of the situation, but now being held in the rebel's arms calms her down and she smiles softly. 

  
  


Soon though, Clarke pulls back, knowing that they don’t have the privacy to be touch-y with each other. “I think it’s time for you to meet my bunk,” She says as she stands up and straights her shoulders. Her eyes fall down on the papers over Jake’s desk and she nods to herself, pursing her lips slightly at the random thought that crossed her head. 

 

“You have a nice handwriting,” She comments quietly before averting her eyes to the green ones, letting go of her thoughts and smiling at the princess. “Now… I think someone needs a bath,” She says playfully before stepping ahead, brushing their shoulders as she passes by the girl, knowing that she would follow.

  
  


About now, a warm bath sounds great, and Lexa is relieved to be staying with Clarke. She knows it may seem strange for her to stay with the rebel leader's daughter, but Clarke can always use the excuse that she wants to keep an eye on her through the night. As they walk out of her father's office, she notices the people looking at them but she is no longer bound like a prisoner. 

 

Two teenage girls are staring at her and she just gives them a dainty smile over her shoulder, trying to attract the least attention she can while Clarke guides her in the direction of her bunk areas. Clarke notices just how curious the children are about the strange woman walking by her side and she makes a mental note to make the encounter happen in the future. She is sure Lexa would have lots of nice stories for them.

 

The building they are in looks inconspicuous on the outside, but on the inside there are quite a few people and it's seemingly well-kept. It's nothing like what she imagined the rebel compounds would be like. She looks severely out of place in her long gown and done up hair, but she figures she would be getting enough attention without it anyway. She hums softly as they walk into Clarke's bunk area and she gazes around carefully. 

  
  


“He's different than I thought he would be.” Lexa murmurs absent mindedly and walks over to sit down on the edge of Clarke's bed, pulling the girl with her so that she can run her fingers gently through the rebel's hair and work out any knots from it. It takes a moment and then her fingers trace down to the base of Clarke's neck and she rubs the tense muscles there, just taking a moment to relax.

 

The blonde girl raises an eyebrow and hums, pursing her lips at the princess comment about her father and she lets herself be pulled down, wrapping her arms around Lexa’s neck and sitting on her lap with the knees on each side of the girl. She closes her eyes and sighs loudly with parted lips as long fingers runs through her locks.

  
  


When Lexa starts to work on the muscles of her neck, she grunts throatily and lets her shoulders drop before leaning her forehead against her girl. “He knows,” She says quietly while grazing her fingertips on the nape of Lexa’s neck absently. “Maybe he doesn’t know how intimate we are with each other yet, but he knows I had a reason to bring you here unharmed – and actually vouch for you after your supposedly attempt to murder me.” 

  
  


Lexa smiles and pulls Clarke closer to her, stroking her back and rubbing her sides softly. The comment the girl makes about her dad knowing she had a reason shows how much trust he puts in his daughter, and the way he looks at her alone shows so much love.

  
  


“You're lucky to have someone who looks at you like that.” Growing up, her father never showed faith or trust in her. He was constantly angry or disappointed, so seeing how well Clarke and Jake interact together makes her feel like she misses something she never had before.

  
  


She nuzzles the tip of her nose against the girl before letting her head fall down on the bony shoulder. The blonde girl stays quiet then, the tiredness finally overwhelming her after the hard work on the villages and the long walk to the compound. The stress of bringing Lexa wiring off of her body and mind and she now feels just… Tired.

  
  


“I wish I could sleep for a month,” The comment is muffled by Lexa’s neck as the rebel lips brushes against it’s warmth, relying on the light scent of the girl. She sighs very quietly before pulling her head back and lifting it up to look at the princess. “I-…” She presses her lips together and grimaces at her stuttering. “I’m glad you are here, despite our previous disagreement on this issue.”

 

Lexa sighs and when she hears Clarke's comment she hums softly. “We should get some rest.” She murmurs and softly guides Clarke to lay back so she can get up to change clothes. She walks over to the drawers and waits for the rebel's approval before opening the top one up to find shirts, eventually digging around until she finds an oversized teeshirt to wear. 

  
  


She unlaces the back of her dress and lets the material fall to the ground in a puddle of fabric, the bruises all over her back and shoulders are on full display, unlike the ones on her neck that she had covered up with make up. She pulls Clarke's big teeshirt on and revels in how it smells like the woman before turning around and crawling into bed next to Clarke. 

  
  


She reaches down to unlace the blonde's boots and pull them from her feet before laying down and nuzzling softly into the blonde. "I'm glad I'm here too. I'm glad I'm with you." She leans down to press a soft kiss to Clarke's lips and watches her with soft green eyes. "What are we going to do? No one is going to trust me or want me here."

 

At the question, the rebel blinks her eyes open and raises her hand to cup the girl’s jaw, pulling a lock of brown hair behind her ear. She almost say ‘I do’, but she kisses the corner of the girl’s mouth and looks at the green eyes, “We are raised to be mistrustful of anything that comes from your world, Lexa. There is no way you will earn their trust just by being here and handing over some tips and information about the castle and the king. It just… It takes time. Alright? For now you have two free days. I will have to run some errands here for my father, but I’m sure that the kids are pretty curious about you,” She half shrugs and wraps an arm around Lexa’s waist, resting her hand on the girl’s small back. “For now, we wait.”

 

It feels so good to be there in Clarke's arms, laying on the bunk next to the rebel girl where she can finally relax and be held by her. She lets out a deep breath and runs her fingers through her hair tiredly, thoroughly exhausted from all the stress she's gone through today. 

 

There are just the lightest marks on Lexa's jaw from where Jake had grabbed her when she first walked in, but they are hardly noticeable and she can't even feel them there. She knows that the rebels are raised to hate the royals and the monarch, but they must understand that she never played a part in what her father did. She never approved of it, and at times she had tried to fight it, but each time it was completely useless and ended with nothing but her being hurt and her father having his way. 

  
  


“I know it will take time.” She murmurs softly and strokes the girl's face gently, still gazing down at her. “To be honest it just scares me a little bit, not knowing these people and being aware that they all might have it out for me.” She lets out a deep breath and relaxes against Clarke, happy to at least have her. 

 

Out of all the things Lexa has done to put herself in danger, this is the first time she has admitted to having any fear. “I know you wouldn't let me get hurt, but it's just intimidating.” Her green eyes meet with Clarke's and she considers what she had been telling Jake earlier. “If I get you into the castle, what would happen?” She's not sure if the rebel would instantly go for her father and the guards or what would end up happening. “There is a ball coming up and that's how I would get you in. You would dress as a noble woman and come by my invitation. No one would recognize you.”

 

Clarke runs the tip of her fingers over the girl’s back as she listens to her small and low voice. With closed eyes, she hums again and turns her face slightly so her lips can brush Lexa’s forehead in a light caress. With her free hand, she plays with the princess’ fingers absently and place a lingeringly kiss on the top of the girl’s head. 

  
  


“It’s ok to be scared. You are in a strange place, with strange people. Some of them will want you dead. Some of them will want to hurt you. Some of them will stay out of trouble and some will give you a chance. But all of them will respect the council and my father’s decision.” She then takes a deep breath and opens her clear blue eyes as her middle finger is dragged up over Lexa’s spine. 

 

“I need access to your father’s papers. I need information about his men and how they work. Their schedules, too. The weak spots inside the castle. How strong the coalition between the crown and the church is. Also, we need to know about the king’s strength. Who support him and who would betray him. Those kind of things we can use if we get to cause a real revolution,” The rebel says as she taps her fingers against Lexa’s. Then, her mind wander over the possibility of dressing herself as a noble woman and acting as one. 

 

She grimace at the thought, feeling the discomfort already. She nods, though, because it’s a solid plan. “We will work on it. I will need a fake name and fancy clothes,” She grimaces again and closes her eyes, sighing with a slight pout and a frown. “And those damned shoes. Ugh.” She pinches the bridge of her nose and shakes her head before looking at Lexa, “I will have to hold myself and try to not murder your father at the first chance,” She rolls her eyes and flicks them to the ceiling, staying quiet for a moment. 

  
  


“You will be courted, won’t you?” The rebel asks in a quiet tone before pursing her lips.

 

Lexa holds herself close to Clarke and lets out a deep breath, content to just be laying with the woman and free to relax without wondering if someone else is going to catch them. She has no idea what would happen if Clarke's father caught them like this together because then it would make every interaction they have had together seem suspicious. 

 

They would question Lexa's escape, and how Clarke managed to find her again. That could lose Clarke her position of leadership and therefore put them both in real danger. She shakes the thoughts from her head and lets out quiet sigh while she listens to the rebel answering her questions. Of course Clarke would be smart about this. There is so much more to the rebellion than just killing her father and they both know that. They would have to destroy any support he has as well. 

 

She just nods against Clarke's chest and they lay there in silence for a moment before she hears the rebel's question and lets out a quiet chuckle before gazing up into blue eyes and putting a little smirk on her lips because Clarke looks so frustrated by the idea. 

  
  


“Yes, I'll be courted. A few princes from the nearby kingdoms have already been invited.” She leans forward to place a peck on Clarke's cheek. “There is one that my father is particularly fond of. William Lennox. He is first in line for his throne and his family is immensely wealthy. We have been courting for a little over a month but I'm fairly sure my father is set on him.” Lexa doesn't sound happy about it by any means, she just seems like she's come to an acceptance with it.

 

Clarke grunts lowly at the answer, rolling her eyes and pursing her lips at the thought of the girl in her arms being courted by multiple princes. She sets her jaw shut at the name given and nods once at the information. It’s nothing new, really. She knew about those balls and how the king uses his daughter as a coin in a trade since the girl became old enough to be a wife. 

 

The rebel stays quiet again, letting her mind wander over this issue and she wonder briefly if, maybe, Lexa’s place is within the monarchy. Maybe, the princess belong there and they are making a mistake. Maybe, the girl would be happier with a moderate boy – too naïve to be the future king – or to give real pleasure to his own woman. Maybe they are both blinded by whatever they are feeling for each other now, and maybe, in a few months, Lexa will grow up tired of the rebels style of life and will miss her comfy sheets and hot baths and nice bed. 

  
  


The blonde girl closes her eyes with a small sigh and, again, pinches the bridge of her nose, already feeling a headache coming. “Is he nice, at least?” She asks with a sneer and her mind is flooded with scenarios of this William Lennox touching and kissing Lexa’s body. “Or do I need to punch his face?” And she is a bit torn between giving in into this feeling of jealousy and the thought that maybe, it wouldn’t be too bad if the girl find someone better than her. Someone who would actually give the girl what she needs and everything she wants.

 

Lexa notices Clarke's slight huff of frustration and she just laughs quietly as she looks up at the girl from where she lays on her chest. It's amusing to have this badass rebel who always keeps her cool appearing so openly frustrated with the thought of someone else so much as dancing with her and expecting her attention. Clarke's protective nature borderlines on possessive but Lexa doesn't mind at all. She thinks Clarke is cute when she's pouting over the thought of someone else with her princess. 

 

The blonde's question draws Lexa out of her thoughts and makes her actually consider for a moment how she feels about the man. She remembers when they had first met, she had been jumpy and whenever he would make any sort of move around her, she would go tense and clearly be uncomfortable. Since the only men she had ever really been around were the palace guards and her father and neither of them had treated her kindly, she had been understandably nervous, but she remembers him sitting her down while they were out in the garden one of their first times somewhere private together and promising her right there that he would never hurt her. 

 

At first she hadn't know if he was aware of the situation with her father or what prompted it, but she figures it had just been her timid behavior. Women, to the noble men, are considered inferior in every sense of the word so it isn't uncommon for them to be abused or disrespected, but at least William is different. 

  
  


“He's promised me that he would never harm me and I believe him. He treats me with more respect than any of the other suitors have.” She watches Clarke's face as she tells her these things and then lets out a deep breath and pulls herself up closer so they are face to face, the big teeshirt on her body feeling warm and comfortable. “But he's not who I belong to. I only want you.” She promised softly and strokes blonde hair out of the girl's face.

  
  


Listening to Lexa’s words, the blonde girl looks up into the green eyes of the princess and adjusts her grip on the girl, pulling her close and keeping her there. As the slim and long fingers brushes her hair, the rebel tilts her chin up to press her lips against the plump and dried ones, in a chaste and sloppy kiss. She keeps her eyes on the girl, though, not closing it. She is relieved that William is a nice man, and if Lexa trusts him, she knows she can trust him as well.

 

And that’s the problem, really. It would be easier if the boy was terrible. It would be good to hate him with a real purpose. But she can’t. Not when the princess is lucky to have found someone who would treat her right, like she deserves. So Clarke drags her hands on the girl’s back, under the large shirt, feeling her warm and smooth skin under her touch. It’s then that she decides to voice her doubts, because she knows she must be open and honest to this girl who gave herself freely to the rebel. 

 

Lexa hums softly when Clarke presses their lips together in a quick kiss. She tries to gently hold Clarke's face to guide the girl into a slower, softer kiss, but it's rushed and after a few seconds the rebel pulls back, clearly having something on her mind. Lexa puts a little pout on her face because she much rather be kissing the girl than talking about whatever issues there are with their plan, but even she knows that isn't logical. Whatever concerns Clarke has, they might as well talk about now.

  
  


“Are you sure, though?” She asks softly, locking her eyes with Lexa’s and using her free hand to tuck the brown hair behind the little ear of the girl. “Because if he truly is a nice man, you’d be free of your father without losing anything. You’d marry someone from your status, you’d still be able to be close to your mother, and you’d keep your life style and your name. It would be the easy way for you. With no harm or drama or fight. Without needing to go through… all of this,” Clarke moves her hand around before letting it fall on the bed. “It’s head over heart, Lexa, and it would be the best way of staying out of your father’s grip without having your life threatened. I mean, are you sure this is what you want? Working day after day and getting your hands dirty and running, and fighting, and… Just… Surviving?”

 

The gentle hand on her back rubbing her soft skin makes her relax and reach forward to trace her fingers along Clarke's jaw line. She's expecting the girl to be preoccupied with how they will make it inside the castle, or kill her father, or something that has to do with their plan, but as Clarke starts talking, she's instantly surprised. 

  
  


“Clarke, of course I'm sure.” Her eyebrows furrow into a frown and she gazes down at the blonde. “I don't want to do something just because to the easy, or the comfortable thing to do.” While it might be safer to stay with William that's not what she wants. That's not /who/ she wants. “I don't want to be controlled by someone my whole life. Now it's my father, but then it would just be William in charge of me. I would still just be a pawn meant to look pretty and have children.” She's known that's all she was good for since she was a teenager, according to the royal society. “Life /is/ about more than just surviving and that's what I get when I'm with you. When we are together I'm more than some pretty face for you to boss around. We have something together, and Clarke, it's worth fighting for.” She smiles slightly and leans down to press a kiss to the blonde's soft lips. “You're worth fighting for.”

 

Clarke listens quietly, nodding slightly at the girls words. She had known it already, but it’s good to be clear. To give Lexa the option of stepping back and giving this up. She doesn’t want the girl to feel stuck. She wants Lexa to feel like she can do whatever she wants to, and that it is okay for her to go back if things go wrong. The rebel hums against the princess’ lips and sighs quietly, dragging her fingertips over the warm skin as she looks at the alluring eyes facing her. 

  
  


“I just want you to know that you have options. That this is not the only way out, you know? That you don’t own me anything and that I’d understand if you want to go back.” She speaks softly, almost whispering. “If you stay, I… I can see a nice future. It wouldn’t be full of nice stuff and I’m pretty sure we’d argue about stuff a lot,” she chuckles and shakes her head, knowing that what she is doing is dangerous. Daydreaming is something they can’t afford. Yet… Here she is. 

 

“With time, my people would get used at seeing you around. And, maybe, you’d be seen as one of us. Maybe, if we get to actually demolish your father’s reign, I think everyone should know it was because of you. Or even if we fail. You should be recognized for what you are doing for us. And then… Then I think it would be safe to be out there as a couple. If I don’t get killed, of course.” She smirks and shrugs, playing it easy even knowing that the chances of it happening are pretty high. “The point is… I don’t have much to offer, Lexa. And I would never ask you to stay. But if you do, I’d make sure to give you my best.”

 

It feels good to lay there and hear Clarke telling her these things and assuring her that she always has a choice, because that is so different from what she has spent her whole life believing. She knows that what they are doing is dangerous, but unlike Clarke she refuses to look at things only from a realistic angle. She must have hope that this is going to turn out well, and the fact that Clarke is next to her right now, a little smile on those plump lips as she talks about a future her and Lexa might have together, makes the princess's heart fill with warmth.

  
  


“I can't think of anything I want more.” Her own lips turn upward and she just lays her head on Clarke's shoulder and closes her eyes, hugging the rebel closely. 

  
  


She imagines being able to be openly affectionate and in a relationship with someone who she really cares about. She can have a life with someone she's actually close to and the idea brings her so much joy she can't even fathom. She knows it's dangerous to have that much hope but she can't help it. This is what she wants and what she's always dreamed of as a kid. She nuzzles into Clarke's neck and smiles softly. “You're putting too many thoughts in my head. Let's just sleep.” She jokes softly and wraps her arm around Clarke's waist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? Feelings? Emotions? Go! :)


	17. Caught

With Lexa seated on her lap with a leg on each side of the rebel, Clarke drags her hand up over the fine and already toned thighs of the princess to grip on her ass hard. The kiss is bruised and hot and all tongues and teeth and she can feel the girl grinding down against her. She grunts lowly, pulling Lexa’s lower lip and nipping at it before letting it go. She hisses with the way their bodies are flushed against each other – with how the girl’s hard nipples brushes against hers over the fabric of their clothes. 

 

“Fuck,” she rasps out, sucking Lexa’s swollen lip as she reaches for the girl’s hair by the nape of her neck, tangling her fingers on and pulling them hard enough for her neck to be exposed and attacked by her thirsty mouth. It was day five since Lexa was brought over and although they shared a bed everyday, they hadn’t much of free time to actually be together. 

 

Jake’s and the council approval of the girl changed the rebel’s view of Lexa. They become respectful once it was made known about what the King used to do to her and her mother – and they understood why she was seeking exile and a home within them. Of course that the majority of them was still very unsure about her, but it was expected. Still, the kids were in love with her already, and the multiple stories she would tell them everyday. 

 

Clarke’s full schedule made it hard to have a moment for only the two of them, until now. Soon Lexa would have to go back to the castle and the blonde girl would be passing by a noble woman and finally the plan would be put at work. But for now, the only thing Clarke wants is to hold the princess and make her come on her fingers and mouth over and over again, in a silent way of saying ‘I miss you’, ‘you are mine’, ‘and I’m yours’. She makes her way down over Lexa’s neck, sucking the smooth skin and feeling it vibrating under her tongue; wiping the bead of sweat with hunger. 

 

They had just finished their session of physical combat – Clarke had insisted on Lexa taking the lesson since the girl doesn’t feel comfortable with holding a gun. Letting go of the princess’ hair, the rebel runs her hand down on the girl’s side and up under her shirt to take her breast, massaging it as she drags her thumb over the hard bud.

For Lexa as well, it has been a long stressful past few days in the rebel compound, constantly plying at gaining Jake’s trust and the acceptance of everyone there. In just a few hours, she is supposed to meet with the man himself to share her ideas about how to get Clarke in the castle, but at the moment that is the last thing on her mind because she's sitting on the girl's lap and grinding against her hard in an attempt to get friction. 

 

They are both all quiet grunts and moans as they share desperate needy kisses and clutch at each other everywhere they can have contact like two horny teenagers who can't keep their hands off of each other. They had just returned from the combat class and the entire time Clarke was trying to teach her, she was subtly pressing herself back against the girl or grazing against her 'accidentally' and her motions didn't seem to go unnoticed judging by the situation they are in now. 

 

"Oh fuck." She groans and leans her head back when she feels the blonde pinching and rubbing her nipples. She's still sensitive and has the fading marks on her body from last time Clarke and her were together like this, and she's proud in a way to still be claimed. She's breathing hard and the more Clarke fondles her chest, the more her body craves attention there, so she unwraps her arms from Clarke for just a moment to pull the shirt she has on up over her head and toss it to the ground so she's only in her shorts. 

 

She places both hands on Clarke's thighs and uses the traction so she can grind into the girl harder, still enjoying the sensation of Clarke's mouth on her neck until she gets needy again and whines before reaching one hand up to pull the woman's head down and guide her until she finds her nipple with her mouth.

Clarke grunts and grips harder on Lexa’s ass, pulling her girl impossibly. With Lexa’s bare chest, the rebel runs her tongue over the already ravished neck and goes down as the princess pulls her to where she wants, making Clarke chuckle lowly and mutter a ‘bossy’ against the nipple before taking it into her mouth in a hard and long suck. 

 

Lexa groans and pulls the rebel close while Clarke gives attention to one of her nipples, taking it into her mouth and flicking her tongue across it while she tangles her fingers in blonde hair and holds Clarke there. One of her favorite feelings is Clarke's warm lips on her breast so she revels in it and pants softly, letting out breathy encouragement to the girl until she starts to pull away and at that exact moment, with Clarke's lips all over her, and with the princess sitting on Clarke's lap grinding on her, the door pushes open and Lexa freezes, her bare back and all of the marks on it now revealed to whoever it is.

 

Clarke is planning on taking her own shirt when she hears the door being shut loudly with a hard thump against it and she feels her whole body freeze as she looks over Lexa’s shoulder and locks her eyes with her father’s. “Fuck,” she breathes out, holding the princess hard against without thinking twice. She notices how Jake’s face blushes furiously before turning pale, and how he opens and closes his mouth a few times before setting his jaw hard and clearing his throat as he turns his back to the girls. 

 

“Both of you in my room,” He says in a detached voice and Clarke doesn’t know what to expect when she watches the man leaving her bunk in silence. Her heart is pounding loudly against her ribcage and she doesn’t know for how long she had forgotten to breathe. Blinking a few times, she closes her eyes grimacing and throws her back on the bed with a huff. “Fuck,” She says again, louder this time. “Fuck, shit, fuck,” She keeps going on, feeling the need to hit something. “Fuck,” she says one more time before opening her eyes to look at Lexa. “Get ready for everything,” the blonde girl props herself onto her elbows and presses her lips in a thin line as her mind tries to find a way out of this problem.

Lexa isn't sure whether to be relived or terrified that it was Clarke's dad instead of someone else. As soon as the door shuts, Lexa scrambles to get off Clarke and reach down to the floor so she can pull her shirt back on, the princess's face now clearly bright red. Clarke pretty well encompasses her feelings about the situation in one word: "Fuck." She looks at the girl with big green eyes and runs her fingers through her dark hair, still in shock. "Holy shit, what's he going to do? What's he going to say?" Lexa tries to get herself thinking logically and ignore how she is now aching for contact with Clarke because now they are really going to be in trouble and she knows it.

Clarke stays quiet after Lexa’s questions and she takes a few deep breathes, calming her nerves and anxiety as her mind still works on how to deal with what had just happened. She sits on the edge of the bed and leans down to put her boots on without rush, “Now we go to his room and hear what he has to say.” She says in a calm voice before standing up and stopping close to the taller girl. “We are going to be honest with him. It’s the best move right now,” The blonde girl cups the princess’ cheeks with both of her hands and closes the small gap between their mouths in a slow but deep kiss, trying to calm and assure the girl that she would be there with her the whole time. 

 

When she pulls back, she brushes her thumb over the girl’s lip and steps back with a small nod, “You have dealt with my father better than I expected, Lexa.  I don’t see how… This… could change things, in a political and rational sense of view. You are still an asset and that’s all that matters.” Clarke says as she heads to the door, opening it for Lexa before closing it behind her. She lowers her voice as they both walk side by side without locking her eyes with the people on their way, “Stay calm and let him start the talk. That way we can go with whatever is thrown at us, alright?” 

 

The fact is that, although she is being calm and all rational about everything, the rebel girl doesn’t really know what to expect from her father in a more personal way, and that’s what worries her. Lexa’s position isn’t threatened, and she is sure Jake still wants the princess on their side. Once they get into the room, the man is with his arms crossed over his chest and he is leaning slightly against his desk with a closed expression.

 

“Close the door,” He speaks up in a low tone of voice and Clarke obeys in silence, before turning to him with attentive eyes. He doesn’t quite look at her, but fixes his blue eyes on the princess in front of him. “I want to know about how you escaped all those months ago.”

Lexa swallows hard and looks him in the eyes, hesitating for a moment because she doesn't know how to answer. Will he hurt Clarke if she admits the truth? The possibility makes her tense and she shifts just slightly closer to the rebel girl, remembering what she had said about telling the truth.

 

"When I was in the cell Clarke had stopped by. I think mostly just to see what I was like." Her eyes turn to gaze at Clarke and it's so clear just from the way she looks at the girl that this isn't their first time together and that what they have runs far deeper than a physical connection. "I ended up begging her to stay with me because I was afraid your men would abuse me, and so she did." After a pause her eyes go back to Jake and she takes a deep breath. "In the morning she woke me up and told me the path I could escape on, then she unlocked the door and stabbed herself, and I ran back to the castle."

 

Clarke keeps her eyes on Lexa, since her father wouldn’t spare a glance at her. She could feel her heart beating fast as the images of their first encounter flows her mind, making her shift close to the girl without thinking. She nods slightly when the girl meets her eyes and she knows they are both thinking about the things that the princess isn’t saying. 

 

Things like how they acted like two magnets – how Clarke’s honesty and crude words had thrown Lexa off and the brunette had attacked the rebel in a vain tentative of keeping the illusion of a perfect life. How the taller girl had cried and sobbed for what felt like ages and how the blonde one had held her tightly until dawn. She looks at her father when Lexa tells him about her stabbing herself and watches him flinching slightly, throwing a glance at her.

 

After just a moment she speaks up again, saving him the trouble of asking the next question. "After that I started telling my father I was visiting the wealthy districts to shop and then I would come to the areas his guards had destroyed and work alongside the rebels the build the villages up again. Clarke and I met again there."

Jake keeps his eyes on his little girl as the princess finishes her story and the silence that follows is filled with awkwardness and tension. “Your mother would laugh so hard at this,” He says lowly and quietly before running his hand through his light brown hair and pinching the bridge of his nose as he sighs loudly. 

 

Clarke is suddenly filled with multiple feelings at the mention of his mother and she swallows hard, but doesn’t cowers. She keeps with her chin and chest up and proud because, truly, she is. She couldn’t have picked a better person than Lexa. Jake looks between the two girls and shakes his head in a resigned way.

 

“No one can know about this,” He says as he fixes his eyes on his daughter, “No one.” His voice has a tone of finality and Clarke gives a sharp nod. Then he looks at Lexa and steps close to the girl, “Is this as serious as it seems?” 

 

When the man ask if this is serious, Lexa hesitates slightly because she doesn't even know how to explain what her and Clarke have. It's unlike anything else she's felt before. This one person has the power to to make her feel safe and happy and protected, and it's a feeling better than she can imagine. Luckily for her, Clarke takes her hand and affirms this to Jake while she just intertwines their fingers together and nods slightly.

 

“Yes,” it’s all she says, but it’s enough for Jake to nod and relax his shoulders. 

 

“I will kill you if you do wrong with my daughter,” He grunts first, then he smirks, “But I still expect grandchildren.” Jake teases knowing he’d get on his daughter nerves and Clarke groans loudly and rolls her eyes, embarrassed. 

 

“Dad,” She says, and it’s kind of weird to call him ‘dad’ after so many years calling him ‘father’ and ‘Jake’, “Just… I think we have plans to work on?” She grimaces as the man laughs and walks around his desk to sit on his chair.

 

“Give me a break, Clarke. I just caught my daughter fondling a royal ass and it’s not a sight I’d like to ever see again.” The rebel girl grunts louder, and this time in amusement. 

Lexa let out a relieved, light-hearted laugh and pull herself closer to Clarke, all the anxiety that had been bubbling up inside her now gone. She can't help blushing furiously and leaning her face down into Clarke's shoulder when the man jokes around with them and properly embarrasses them both. After just a minute, she pulls back enough to look at the blonde and reaches up to tenderly stroke her cheek, no longer concerned about Jake seeing them being gentle with each other. 

 

Just the way the princess stares at Clarke like she's a precious thing makes it clearly how deeply she feels for the girl, but she draws herself away after a few seconds and goes to walk in front of the desk where Jake sits.

 

"Trust me, we'll make sure it's never something that you see again." She jokes back and lets out a quiet chuckle. There is quiet for a moment and then she decides to get the talk about the castle done while she's here. "Clarke seems to have a decent idea of what she wants to do when she gets into the castle, and I can make sure I get her access to everywhere that she needs. My father and mother will be there for trade relations so the main security will be in the ball room instead of his office area, so once Clarke is in, we should be safe to get whatever you need."

The smirk that once was on Jake’s lips fades as soon as the subject changes. He straights his shoulders and purses his lips as he listens to Lexa with attention. Clarke crosses her arms over her chest and meets her father’s eyes once the princess’ explanation is finished. They stare at each other in a silent conversation and the rebel girl nods once before stepping close to where the man is seated. “I can take Octavia with me as a maid. She is the best fighter we have,” the blonde says, propping herself onto the desk, casually. 

 

“Once I’m there, I will play as a noble woman a little before Lexa can ‘show me around’. I can memorize the castle’s corridors and rooms and draw a map for a late use.” She then looks at the princess, “If we are lucky, maybe I can get into the King’s private room? See if I can steal or copy some documents.” Averting her eyes to Jake, the girl half shrugs and nibbles at her lip, “But you know how those things can go, father. Although Lexa will be with the for almost the whole time, things can still go wrong. Unless I stay there for a couple of days?” Clarke suggests, looking again at the brunette. “You invite me to stay, and I, as a very polite girl, can’t say no. It would give us more time to explore and I’d learn more about how things works inside the castle.”

 

Jake hums and nods in approval, tapping his fingers against the table as he thinks over. “Sounds good to me. I’d have to run this with the council, of course. And I’m not comfortable with the idea of you inside that shithole of a castle for much time.” He lifts his hand up, before Clarke could say something, “I know you can take care of yourself, but excuse me for caring.” The rebel girl rolls her eyes, but smiles anyway with a nod.

Lexa listens closely to the ideas that Clarke has, and she has to admit that Clarke staying with her in the castle for a few days would be a good idea. Her father never interacts with her guest, so she doesn't have to risk him seeing something off with her. Plus, no guards would ever expect a noble woman, Lexa's guest none the less, to be a rebel. The brunette smiles slightly at the plan because even though it is selfish, it makes her feel safer to have Clarke there with.

 

"I think that's a smart idea. She can stay in the room across from mine and if we go out together early in the morning around the castle no one will think anything of it. She knows that the entire situation could go wrong quickly if anything happens, but the potential gain is worth something maybe happening. Lexa squeezes the girl's hand and smiles softly.

 

"Don't worry. I'll keep her safe in there and get her anything she needs. No one will suspect a thing." She lets out a deep breath and leans against the desk. "The ball is in a little over a week, so I should go home a little before that so I'm not running in at the last minute." She thinks for a moment. "I'll meet Clarke on the outside of the palace and walk her in with me so that no one stops her. They will check for weapons so she can't bring anything. I can steal something from the vault in the castle once she's in."

Jake isn’t less worried, but he nods at Lexa before glancing up to his daughter. “So you have a week to get ready for the ball. I want you to practice with Octavia everyday, since you won’t be allowed to carry weapons. How long has it been since you fought?” He asks as he stands up to take the bottle of vodka from his shelf, serving all of them. 

 

“I’ve been training Lexa since she got here, but I’m a little off, yes.” She takes the cup from Jake’s hand and gulps the liquid quickly. He hums and nods as he takes the alcohol as well.

 

“Have you thought about a noble name yet?” The man asks, putting the bottle away and sitting down on his chair again, in a more relaxed position. Clarke flicks her eyes to Lexa and shakes her head in thought. 

 

“No. Not really. I still have to get myself some clothes and all that shit,” She flinches and grimaces, “And I will try to stop swearing that much.” At that, Jake laughs and shakes his head, 

 

“That I’d like to see,” He says playfully before his expression become serious again. Clarke tenses slightly and locks her eyes with his. “If things go wrong, kill him.” The leader of the rebels says lowly, but firmly. The blonde girl clenches her jaw and nods once. 

 

She thinks about Lexa and her mother and how much everyone lost and she nods again. They know that killing the King wouldn’t do much in a long term, but if things go wrong, if the plan fails and she has the chance to act on her revenge, she will. Jake nods as well before offering a small smile at her. 

  
“It’s settled then. I still need the approve of the council, but once I have it, I will let you know.” He stands up again and walks to the door, opening it to the girls. “And for fucks sake, Clarke, lock your bunk’s door next time.” The rebel girl shoves his shoulder and he laughs loudly as she steps away from him with a grumpy face.


	18. Encounters

The days has seemed to go by in a rush after Clarke and Lexa had their conversation with Jake and finalized the plans to sneak Clarke into the castle. As much as Lexa wanted to get the ball over with, she also isn't completely ready to deal with all the stress that comes along with it. 

 

As the week passes, the only enjoyable part of the entire situation was getting to go dress shopping with Clarke and getting to see her in a beautiful ballgown that the queen could be jealous of. Now, as she stands outside the castle greeting guest and making small talk with the other girls who pass, her green eyes are only scanning the crowd for Clarke. Lexa's pale ivory colored gown drags on the floor when she walks and her hair is done up in elaborate curls, making it easy to spot her in the large groups of people. 

 

Stuck in the crowd of people, Clarke can’t help but frown at how uncomfortable the clothes and her shoes are. She sighs as she walks through the large crowd, holding herself not to hit her elbows on the sides of the loud man that stands in her way. She is almost considering punch the one who winks and smiles at her when she finally spots the familiar face and suddenly her throat is dry

 

Finally, Lexa’s green eyes land on a familiar face and she can't help the little smirk that pulls on her lips when she notices how fancy and beautiful the girl looks,  _ her  _ girl looks absolutely stunning. She gracefully makes her way over to meet the blonde half way and gives her a small smile. "You look beautiful." She says in a quiet voice and can't seem to tear her eyes away for a few moments before she actually comes to her senses.

 

Lexa looks dazzling too and Clarke's heart skips a beat at the sight. Her own feet works by itself, leading her to the girl as if they were magnets – as if the pull is inevitable. Once they are close, her eyes drop to the smile that the princess throws at her and she feels her cheeks warming up because that kind of smile is /hers/ and its one of those that Lexa gives her in the mornings.

 

The rebel girl stays quiet, in full awe, and doesn’t blink at the compliment. She is too lost into the forest that is the brunette’s eyes and so she lets the princess take her hand and guide them over to an entrance carved into the walls of the huge castle. They make their way over and the guards don't seem alarmed since it is the princess. 

 

"Good evening." She nods slightly to the guards and they open the doors to let both the girls through, trusting they don't have to search Clarke since she is with Lexa, which the brunette is pleasantly surprised by. 

 

She knows the ball will be getting into full swing soon and she will be expected down in the main room, but for now she needs a few quiet minutes with Clarke so she takes her down the hall to her room, one of the only places they can speak privately. She pulls her through the door and shuts it behind them before turning and raising her eyebrows. "You ready for everything?"

It’s only when they are left alone in the quiet room that Clarke snaps out of her trance and looks around, noticing just how  _ Lexa  _ the room is. She wants to go over everything and look around and learn about this part of the girl, but she knows she can’t. They don’t have much time to lose, so she averts her eyes to the princess, meeting her question with a small nod. 

 

She knows she should say something – about their plans, about how to deal with the guards and the people and just everything. But her mind is on just how unique the girl in front of her is. It’s not like Lexa isn’t beautiful without all of her fancy clothes – No, she truly is. And it’s comforting and  _ good  _ to know where every freckle is under the make up that the girl is using. But god, she does look untouchable right now and Clarke thinks that she is probably falling in love. She parts her lips but doesn’t say anything, so she closes them again and just… Stares and stares.

Lexa is surprised the rebel isn't running over plans again and again with her like they used to do in the compound. Instead, Clarke is completely silent. She hums softly as she gazes out the window to watch all the guest walk into the front of the castle, and it's only when she turns back and meets Clarke's eyes that she realizes why the woman is so silent. She's looking at her like Lexa has never been looked at before by anyone. 

 

Sure, men have stared at her, looked at her beauty and her body, but no one had ever looked at her like this, with such emotion that she's almost taken aback. The brunette swallows hard and takes a few slow steps closer until they are right next to each other and she can look directly into blue eyes. She keeps her chin up and shoulders back, and there is something noble about the way she simply carries herself. "See something you like, Clarke?" She teases gently, her posh accent fully on display. 

 

She smiles slightly and leans forward like she might give the rebel a kiss but then just strokes a strand of Clarke's blonde hair behind her ear with a little smile.

 

The rebel’s eyes drop to Lexa’s lips, so, so close that if she wanted, she could close the gap and kiss the girl like she wants. She doesn’t, though. She knows that the girl is enjoying herself and teasing – full confident in her comfort zone. This is where she belongs and it is shown on the way she walks and talks and behaves. It’s beautiful, really, and so the rebel swallows hard because she could never put in words just how breathtakingly rare the princess is.

 

Lexa takes a deep breath as she stands there and watches the way Clarke looks at her, the expression the woman has. Part of Lexa catalogs it along with every other yearning and admiring look the rebel has given to her, but something about this one is so different, and beautiful, and so fucking powerful it almost feels like it should be dangerous.

 

"Focus Clarke. The sooner we get in my dad's files, the sooner we get up here again." Despite her mock-serious tone, the way she turns and raises her eyebrows slightly gives away that she's still joking with the rebel.

 

Clarke just nods her head slightly, an entranced expression still on her face.  She's feeling all of her walls getting demolished – feeling vulnerable by the storm of feelings and emotions that consumes her in that exactly moment, and she thinks that it is all because of the uncertainty of what may happen once they get out of the room. It’s the start point of everything – it’s the little spark that initiates a full explosion. There are so many variables and she clenches her jaw because she was taught to expect the worse and fight like she is losing. 

 

She is nervous, although it doesn’t show. She nods again like she did before because her tongue feels heavy in her mouth and there is a lump on her throat. The weight of the responsibility is heavy on her shoulders but she carries it with her chin up because this is not only for her dead mother and brother or her stolen virginity or her killed first boyfriend. Behind her back are a large group of grieving people who is putting their trust in her – and fuck, she can’t take her eyes off of the girl that smirks and teases her like she was made to wear stunning gowns and bright jewelry and smile like that for eternity. 

 

She loves her. It is clear as water now and she can almost taste it in her mouth. She doesn’t panic like she thought she would. She just gives a very tiny smile as she looks at Lexa with tenderness and steps back, straightening her shoulders and taking a deep breath before masking her expression into a serious one, letting go of her personal thoughts and focusing on her duty. “Lead the way,” she says firmly.

For a moment neither of them move and they just stand there like that together, their eyes locked together with Lexa wondering if Clarke's heart is beating as fast as hers. In that moment the connection they have shared since the very moment they met has never felt stronger and it's such a beautiful feeling to bask in, even just for that short time before Clarke steps forward and accepts the duties they have to complete. 

 

Lexa stares for a last second before nodding her head and turning around before the whelm of emotions incapacitate her. She knows for a fact that right now her father is greeting all the potential trading partners and allies at the front gate so they should manage to get into his office just fine. There are a few guards in the hall, but the vast majority have gone downstairs so it isn't hard to fly under the radar and manage to get to the library near the office section of the castle.

 

Her father has a desk in the room where he keeps many files and that's why he hates it so much when Lexa is in there, even just reading. The guards don't think twice about Lexa or Clarke going in since they are together, but once inside Lexa closes the doors and gazes at the blonde. "We only have a few minutes before my father will come up here looking for me, so be fast."

Clarke looks around the room before her eyes fixes on the desk carved in a fine wood and she nods sharply at Lexa’s instruction before stepping forward to take the files in her hands, opening them quickly and roaming her eyes over it enough to memorize important names and dates. She bites her lip when she comes across a heavy one and she glances up to where the princess is before searching for a blank page and a pen. She writes down some of the information before going through others files, repeating the process a few times before she knows that her time is up. 

 

She takes a deep breath and hides the paper inside her bra as she makes her way to Lexa. The rebel knows that if she is staying for two more days, she would be able to go through more dressers. She feels the rush of adrenaline running through her veins and she feels good despite everything. 

 

Lexa watches the sky as Clarke goes through the drawers, making sure to keep her eyes on the doors in case anyone were to come in right now. They could always try to just pass as two foolish girls who mistakingly wandered into the wrong room while Lexa tours Clarke around, because Lexa is fairly sure none of the guards would purposefully tell her father just because they know what he will do to her, and even if they are loyal to the king, they still don't condone how he beats Lexa and treats her like she's more of a house pet than a daughter. She lets out a breath of relief when Clarke closes all the files and arranges them back to how they were before tucking the note away.

 

“To the ball?”Clarke asks as they both gets out of the room as if nothing had happened. The blonde girl lets her eyes wander around, taking in every turn they make and just how the guards works. She doesn’t fail to notice the nice architecture and the awesome paintings and just how everything seems unreachable. She imagines little Lexa running through the corridors and big green eyes looking at everything curiously and in awe and taking in everything that it is hers. 

 

It throws Clarke off a little because they couldn’t be more different, yet… She looks at Lexa, who walks regally by her side and she smiles again. A tiny one. Reserved only for the princess, even if the girl isn’t looking at her in that moment. She rolls her eyes and clicks her tongue on the roof of her mouth, slightly annoyed at how bloody smitten she is.

Lexa gives her a small smile when she catches Clarke's eyes on her and she leads the way quickly out of the library and in the direction of the ball room, happy that the rebel now has some much needed information to bring back. As the two make their way down the hall, the music playing in the main room gets louder and the orchestra makes Lexa relax slightly because she has always loved it's beautiful music. The doors to the entrance inside of the palace are closed, and Lexa pauses outside of them for a moment to compose herself and look at Clarke. 

 

"No matter what, be polite and be submissive. Don't speak to a man of authority unless he speaks to you. Don't openly disagree with what they say." As restrictive and shallow as the advice seems, it's what Lexa has grown up being taught and it's what makes her such a commodity. She's grown into obedience and beauty and that is all that a man could want her for. Clarke just nods slowly at the princess’ words and purses her lips in thought, planning on being the nice and submissive girl so she can get as much information she can. 

 

Lexa takes a deep breath and opens large doors so that she can lead the way inside the huge room where people are all walking about and eating extravagant food and drinking. She glances over at Clarke before scanning around the room in search of her father, and when she notices him standing off to the side next to Prince William, she simply pauses for a second to look over at the blonde.

 

Clarke stays quiet the whole time. She keeps her eyes trained on the faces of the people around them and observes how they move and talk and walk so she can imitate. When her eyes find the King, she sets her jaw shut and clenches her fists hard, watching him smiling and laughing as he talks with some blonde nice looking boy. This is the closest that a rebel has ever achieved to be with the man and she has to take a deep breath before masking her emotions and detaching herself from them. 

 

"If you want to then you can walk around here and try to get information on these people. They are my father's closest associates. I have to go talk to him directly and speak with William. If you want to come meet him directly then now is your chance." Lexa speaks quietly and carefully.

 

Clarke blinks and averts her eyes to look at the boy, William, again, trying to read his posture when lexa tells her that is the prince. He isn’t bad to look at, she muses, looking at the large smile and almost sweet eyes of the lad. She nods again because she is still processing everything, trying to absorber every little thing that’s going on around her. She is used to be closed off and to detach herself from everything, so being here and trying to be open is hard. She lifts her chin up and turns her head to look at the taller girl by her side. 

 

“I’d like to,” She says. It is dangerous, she knows. Having to meet one of the possible future husband of Lexa. But she is curious and there is something about the boy that makes her cringe a little. 

Lexa has to admit that she is surprised when Clarke agrees to come meet with her father and William. She had expected that those would be the last people the girl would want to be around, but she can also see how the rebel's curiosity might get the best of her and lead to the curiosity of what they are like. She nods her head in agreement and nods for Clarke to follow after her across the ballroom floor so that they can make their way over to the men.

 

Several people greet her and she just smiles politely and greets people absent mindedly until they are approaching William and her father. The king is the first to notice her coming over and his face lights up in a smile that is so convincing, someone who doesn't know him well might actually think him to be a kind man. 

 

"Lexa, my dear, we were just talking about you." He reaches his hand out to take a hold of his daughter's shoulder to pull her up closer and the way Lexa's body stiffens says it all. The contact just makes her want to instantly shrink away and everything confident, happy, and teasing instantly slips away from Lexa personality so she just stands there with her hands tightly clutched in front her and her eyes reflected down to the ground. "I was just coming to see you." She replies in a quiet voice. Even the way she speaks is different, more stiff and timid, but her father doesn't seem to notice anything wrong, or if he does he ignores it. 

 

On the other hand, William seems to have realized that the second the king placed his hand on Lexa the girl shut down, because he reaches out gently and offers a hand to Lexa to encourage her to step forward. She willingly takes a step closer to the prince and away from the king so she can do a dainty curtsy and the blonde can lean forward to press a kiss to her knuckles. "Lexa, you look stunning as always. It's lovely to see you."

 

The brunette smiles softly but it doesn't meet her eyes. "The pleasure is mine." Her green eyes flicker back to Clarke and she nods for her to step up closer. "I would like to introduce you to a friend of mine visiting from the southern districts. This is Rosalyn Peters." The king nods slightly and William smiles and steps forward to kiss her knuckles just like he had done with Lexa. 

  
"Lovely to meet you Rosalyn."


	19. Intertwined

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very important note at the end of the chapter! Please take a look.

It takes everything in Clarke to not step forward and cut the King’s hand once he sets his dirty paw on Lexa. Clarke clenches her jaw and stiffens, holding herself back as she can’t seem to breathe right. Not until she notices how the prince seems to catch on the princess’s discomfort and takes her out of her father’s grip. She’s never seen Lexa like this. She is used to see a brave stubborn girl who faces her battles without breaking. This Lexa is timid and quiet. This Lexa doesn’t meet people’s eyes and smiles too sweetly to be true. This Lexa is a girl in a cage and Clarke wants nothing more than to reach for her girl’s hand and take her out of there. 

Once the princess nods at her, she does as she learnt. She smiles politely and looks at the prince through her long lashes and lets him and everyone else who might be watching the scene believe that she is somehow timid as well. 

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, your highness.” Her voice sounds weird even to her own ears. It’s delicate and soft and it’s everything that she is not. Still, she acts as she must and once the prince release her hand, she clutches her hands in front of her and glances at the girl by her side. She doesn’t think about how William might be the one marrying her girl. She doesn’t think about how close to the King she is – or about the multiple ways she could kill him right there. She doesn’t think about anything at all and it is easy to manipulate people like this. It’s empowering and she focuses on her play, waiting for the right moment so she can excuse herself and walk through the ballroom floor, already spotting old men who seems alone and easy enough to wield and take information from.

Lexa watches closely as Clarke and her green eyes flicker over the way Clarke now stands with her eyes downcast and her hands held in front of her, just a slight hint of a smile on her lips. She blends in just as well as any other noble girl and Lexa lets out a breath of relief that this is going so well. William gazes between Lexa and the king for a moment before gently reaching to take the brunette's hand again so that she gazes up at him. Maybe it's something he sees in her green eyes, but the prince just seems to know how much she hates being in her parent’s presence. Maybe more people would realize that if they just took the time to open their eyes and see the abuse that takes place in the castle instead of pretending that everything is fine. 

"I hope you both won't mind if I steal Lexa away for a little while, because if she would let me, I would love to take her to dance." William speaks up and the King nods his head and waves at William to go ahead with the small smile that he always seems to have on his lips that doesn't meet his eyes. 

"That sounds lovely." Lexa responds quietly and the prince smiles before placing one hand on her back and beginning to guide her out to the floor where people are dancing slowly to a song the elaborate orchestra is playing. He holds her waist close to him and their fingers string together in their free hand as Lexa lets him lead and moves along to the music gracefully as they talk quietly to one another about nothing meaningful. It's all just small talk but Lexa prefers that to anything that could potentially get her in trouble. 

The king watches them for a minute with Clarke still standing beside him and looks over at the girl. 

"Rosalyn is it? I'm happy to see Lexa inviting guest to the palace. Would you believe she hardly spends any time here?" The king obviously doesn't understand why his daughter wouldn't want to stay in a place as beautiful as the castle, not realizing that she would just do anything to be away from him. His eyes then flicker over to William and Lexa. "What a lovely couple they make, don't you think?"

Clarke watches Lexa and William together in the middle of room and she can’t quite point what she is feeling at the sight of the prince dancing with the girl. She is almost excusing herself when the King’s voice brings her to the present, making her stomach churn immediately. She stays with her eyes trained on the way that the princess dances gracefully, trying to channel her anger and disgust down. 

“Yes, your Majesty,” She answers in a sweet tone of voice, lowering her chin down as she speaks to the man. She smiles shyly and flicks her eyes over to the King briefly before turning to the prince and princess again. She hums and nods slowly and delicately, biting her tongue and taking a deep breath again before answering. “They do, indeed. Lexa would be very lucky to have him as a husband.” She looks around then, memorizing where each door is and how many guards are in each. It’s then that her mind bubbles with a new and very dangerous idea, and she is sure that Lexa and her father would kill her for it. It could end badly, but once she is on a mission, she is all in. The rebel girl wets her dry lips before blasting a charming smile to the King as she turns to face him.

“If you can excuse my boldness, your Majesty, I’m dying for a dance,” She changes the tone of her voice slightly and looks at the man with big pleading blue eyes, “Would you like to take me?” She knows exactly what she is doing because she has done it for years. She knows men like the King, and if he is indeed just as pathetic as she knows he is, he would fall for it easily.

When the king hears what Clarke says, he turns to stare at her for a moment with raised eyebrows, seeing how the girl gazes up at through dark eyelashes and gives him a little smile. He takes a step closer to her and places his hand on her hip to start guiding her forward and keeps their eyes locked.

"I would love to." He leads them to the other side of the dancing space and reaches for the girl's free hand so that he can pull her closer and begin slowly leading her in the dance. "You're a lovely young lady, Rosalyn." He says quietly and gives her that slight smile he shares with everyone, except with him his eyes always are dark, like that is the only part of the king that reveals the sinister things he has done. His hand rest just a little too low on Clarke's back to be proper and yet he is still looking down at her with curiosity, like he knows there is something different about her.

 

The rebel fights the urge to gag when she feels the hand of the King on her hip and smiles gratefully at him instead, fake beaming from where they've stand near the orchestra. She makes sure not to look at Lexa as she walks side by side with the disgusting man, knowing that the girl would be nervous and possibly mad at the gamble she is taking. She turns to him, blinking slowly with a charming and shy smile playing on her lips, fully aware of the effect her lips causes on people. Her little freckle above her upper lip usually draws attention to her mouth and so she wets her lips timidly, placing her hand over his shoulders delicately.

As they dance she keeps her eyes trained on his face the whole time. Glancing down and biting her lip to hide a smile when he gives her a compliment, Clarke mentally pats herself on the back and lets her warm hand lay flat over the nape of his neck. “You are too kind, my King,” She says smoothly and quietly before looking up to his dark eyes with a gracious smile. When they make a turn, her eyes find Lexa among the crowd and she gives a tiny private smile to the girl in a silent way of saying that everything is okay.

“What you are doing for your realm is quite impressive,” She says close to his ear – although not close enough to draw people’s attention – in a quiet and sweet voice before pulling her head back enough to look at his eyes again.

When Clarke leans forward to speak in her soft voice against his ear, the king tightens his grip on Clarke's hip slightly and waits until she's pulled back to search her eyes as if wondering if she understands the dangerous game she is playing.

"Thank you. I try very hard to keep the kingdom running smoothly." He uses his free hand to reach up and stroke a strand of Clarke's blonde hair behind her ear, clearly falling perfectly for Clarke's ploy. It is a risky game of cat and mouse that they are playing, but the rewards could be great and he seems to think that he has the upper hand. After all, Rosalyn is just a stupid noble girl, right? 

"You know, it must be a very long trip to get from the northern districts all the way down here to the palace. If my daughter hasn't already invited you, then take my own invitation to stay a few nights." His eyes are on the blonde, calculating as always. "I would be more than happy to show you around after the ball concludes. We have some lovely architecture." 

His intentions are completely clear and he just continues slowly guiding Clarke around the dance floor, no one seeming to think anything out of the ordinary about the way the king is dancing with the young lady. Lexa on the other hand, is absolutely fuming on the inside when she sees the two together because all of her protective instincts scream at her to break away from William and run over to pull her girl away from the man who has hurt her so badly in the past. She didn't though, she just remains tense and glances over Williams shoulder at Clarke every opportunity that she gets.

Clarke has never felt more dirty and her stomach is churning hard at his strong smell. With her hand on the back of his neck, she looks down again as the man brushes her hair, putting it behind her ear and she wishes she could blush to give a nice effect. She doesn’t, though, but looks up to him as if she is extremely shy, beaming for having his attention. She hums quietly as she heard his words and nods slowly at the invitation.

“Lexa invited me yes. She very sweet,” She says, flicking her eyes over the King’s shoulder and getting a glimpse of the princess before turning her gaze to the man. “But oh, no, no. I wouldn’t want to impose, your Majesty, I’m sure you are a very busy man,” She plays coy and smiles at him. “And yes, the castle is stunning. The architecture is breathtaking. It’s like a dream being here, even more to be able to dance with my King,” She flashes another charming smile and ducks her chin down in a submissive way, making another turn with him before the music fades and everyone steps away from their partner to applaud the orchestra. As the rebel girl claps her hands, she feels his presence on her side and she bites her lower lip to prevent a smug smirk, knowing that the man had fallen into her trap.

When the song has faded to an end and the orchestra stops, Lexa couldn't be more relieved that Clarke is out of her father's grasp. She lets out a deep breath and runs her fingers through her hair, brushing the stray curls behind her ear. She is about to excuse herself so that she can go talk to Clarke, but William takes her hand again gently and looks down at her with a slight smile.

"Hey, stay for just a minute, okay?" She's confused for a second but she nods her head. The couples that had been dancing are now beginning to walk over to the drink table to take a break since the orchestra is between songs and the king just smiles slightly and places his hand on Clarke's back to guide her over closer to where his daughter and the prince are, seeming to know exactly what William is about to do. 

"Hello there everyone!" The young man speaks up and Lexa's face flushes bright red as people turn to stare at them, still in the center of the dancing area.

"Stay here with my for just a moment." The king says quietly to Clarke as people turn to focus on the prince and Lexa. "Trust me, you will want to watch this." From the big smile on his lips, it's clear he approves of what is about to happen. After just a brief pause, William speaks up again.

"So as you may know, Lexa and I have only known each other for a few months, but already I can tell what an exceptional person she is and I'm honored so many people are here right now to share in this moment." Lexa's eyes are wide and confused as she stares at the young man in front of her and he just gently squeezes her hand, turning to face her as a few people start to whisper excitedly. 

"Lexa, you're smart, respectable, and such a beautiful person inside and out. Ever since we met, when we are apart I count down the days until I can see you again. I don't want to have to do that anymore, so Lexa Grace Woods," William doesn't break eye contact with the princess as he drops down to one knee and and reaches into the pocket of his expensive coat to grab the small leather box with a ring in it, "Will you marry me?" 

Lexa looks torn apart when the words come out of the prince's mouth and her eyes stare up for just a brief second to land on Clarke before she needs to be steadied and just looking at the woman does that for her. Her heart breaks when she looks down at William and she forces the biggest smile on her face despite her misty eyes that, unlike other girls in this situation, don't come from happiness. 

"Yes. Of course William, I'll marry you." People start to clap and all speak excitedly as he slides the ring on her finger and stands up again to pull her close and press a soft kiss to the princess's lips right there in front of everybody.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there everyone! It's Paperadventures here and I just want to give you all an update. Lexark is currently still with family without Internet and she will be for the rest of the month. I have a few more chapters I can post without her editing, so I should be able to keep up with updates by myself for a little while but this is why updates have been so slow. Besides the editing, all 200k words of this story are pretty much finished, so you don't have to worry about this getting abandon. 
> 
> Thanks so much to everybody who is commenting and reading. I can't believe how much of a great little following this has. 
> 
> I have added this to a series called "Tethered" that has some other AUS Lexark and I are writing so if you want to check that out then please do. 
> 
> ALSO if you want to send me some love or give us writing prompts which I would love, then please message me on tumblr at WonderlandsRoses. I would love to chat with you guys!
> 
> As always, please comment your thoughts and don't forget to give it a kudos if you enjoyed. I hope everyone is ready for a great new year. :)
> 
> (Also sorry if there are some errors in editing. It's just one set of eyes instead of two this time.)


	20. Promises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there everyone! I have an update on everything that is going on at the bottom of the chapter so please read the notes, thanks!

Clarke stays put as she watches the scene unfold before her eyes, envying the boy who can openly dance and touch and propose to the one she loves. She presses her lips in a thin line once he gets on his knees and makes the famous question. Her heart is loud on her ears and she doesn’t know how to breathe properly. Not when she is the one Lexa looks at. With a small imperceptive nod, she watches as the princess opens a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes and say ‘yes’ to the happy lad. It’s not like she wasn’t expecting something like that to happen. It would happen sooner than later and she was ready. Or at least she thought she was. When William slips the ring on Lexa’s finger – the one she had in her mouth three days ago, she gasps quietly, watching the boy standing up and kissing the girl’s lips tenderly. Suddenly everyone is applauding and cheering loudly, but Clarke’s ears are buzzing and her face is too warm to be healthy, so she tries a small smile, turning to the King and taking his hand briefly. 

“Thank you for the dance, your Majesty. I’m feeling too emotional over the beautiful scene and I need to redo my make up,” She forces a giggle and steps back, “Silly me.” She says, tapping her finger on her cheeks as if she was crying. "Excuse me, my King.” With that, she turns to the first opened door and is glad that it leads to a large garden.

Clarke is glad that Lexa hasn’t followed her because her mind is running and she is struggling to deal with this rush of new emotions and everything that comes with it. She doesn’t know what she is supposed to feel or to do, not yet anyway. All she needs is a break from her mission and from what is going on inside the castle. Taking a few calming breaths, she works her jaw as she walks mindlessly through the garden until she stops at the rose bushes. Once there, the rebel bites her lower lip and closes her eyes for a long moment, listening to her own breathing until her mind is blank. 

 

Back in the castle, Lexa had know that she would be getting married, hell, maybe even to William, but she hadn't expected it so soon. She had assumed the rebellion would be in full swing and she wouldn't even be living in the palace anymore by the time her father was ready to trade her off, but she was wrong. Her emerald eyes gaze around the room to see Clarke isn’t there and her entire being yells at her to chase after the blonde, but before she can go anywhere, the orchestra starts to play another song and William pulls her in closely so she can wrap both her arms around his neck and they dance alone together around the center of the room while Lexa still feels in shock. 

Eventually the music finally fades out, leaving the crowd inside applauding as the prince leads Lexa over in the direction of her father with his arm around her and a big smile on his face. The king looks equally as happy and the prince takes his hand off Lexa just long enough for her father to reach forward and embrace Lexa in a hug that makes her stiffen. 

"I'm so happy for you both." He promises with a big smile and yet Lexa only takes a few minutes of standing there while her father and future husband speak until she gazes up at William. 

"I'm going to get some fresh air. I'll be back in a little bit." He turns to look at her and nods his head before she quickly turns and practically jogs out to the garden where she knows Clarke had gone. It's dusk so they are empty by now except for one figure Lexa notices standing by the rose bushes. Even the guards have gone inside. She slows her pace and walks over to the rebel girl, standing behind her silently for a moment because she doesn’t know what to think, let alone do or say.

Clarke doesn’t know if she is angry, or sad, or scared. She doesn’t know what to do with what had just happened. As she touches a petal, she sighs quietly. Everything about it is a mess and she is so not used at feeling like that. It’s awkward and it bothers her because she heard about love turning people stupid and irrational and she knows she shouldn’t even be alone in a fucking huge garden. She chuckles dryly at herself before shaking her head. And it’s then that she feels it. Her. She just knows that in a second ago she was alone, and now she isn’t anymore. And she is filled by Lexa’s presence and energy.

Lexa can tell from the way that Clarke’s shoulders lose their tension that she can hear her there and so she lets out a deep sigh, finally speaking. "I won't ever belong to anyone but you. I'm yours. I'm still yours." She whispers quietly and has a new sadness to her eyes like she is afraid Clarke isn’t going to look at her the same anymore.

“I know,” Is the reply after a long silence. Without lifting her eyes to where the girl’s is standing. And yes, she knows it. She isn’t mad at Lexa. She doesn’t have a doubt that the princess belong with her, as much as it sounds possessive and presumptuous. 

There is no one in the world who knows the girl’s mannerisms and how she steals the blanket at the night. How attentive and protective and brave she is under the pretense of being a frail little girl. No one knows about the freckles covering her chest and back. About the little scar on her left knee. About how sometimes her eyes go blue in the mornings. It’s Clarke’s name that Lexa silently screams when she is coming. It’s Clarke’s back she scratches with her fingernails. It’s Clarke’s lips she claims almost every day when they get to be around each other. 

“I know.” The rebel repeats with a small saddening smile before she flicks her eyes up to meet the green ones.

As Lexa hears the woman finally speaks and she just hears two gentle words and it instantly soothes her, making the panic that had began to rise within her simmer down. "Just you. Always you." She whispers the words quietly and pulls herself closer so that she can hold onto the rebel and breaths in her familiar scent, feeling how soft and comforting it is even just to touch Clarke's skin. In the moment she isn't worried about what had happened with the girl and her father, or what will happen with William, she just is focused on the woman holding her. She nuzzles her face gently into the nape of Clarke's neck and presses her lips against it, leaving several slow kisses across it. It's dark she feels confident no one is going to see them, and in this moment she doesn't really care if they do. She wraps both of her arms around Clarke and holds her close in a way she never does with anyone else, very gently rubbing her fingertips up and down Clarke's back where she very well know her nails have left marks in the past.

"Stay with me tonight. Please." She ask quietly, not wanting the blonde in the room beside her when she could sneak over and they can share the same bed instead. Lexa stares at Clarke for a few seconds before she slowly tips down the girl's chin and guides it to kiss her slowly but with need.

Clarke sighs loudly and holds the princess tightly and closely, clutching at the fabric of her dress and relying on the feeling of finally having her girl in her arms again. She closes her eyes and hums and leans into the caresses over her back, making her sigh again against the girl’s ear. With a small smile, the blonde nods slightly at the request. 

She grunts quietly, pulling the brunette impossibly closer as she reconnects their lips in the kiss, keeping it slow. The warmth of the girl’s mouth fills Clarke with new assurances and so she slips her tongue between Lexa’s lips and drags it on the roof of the girl’s mouth before taking her lower lip and sucking it without rush. 

As soon as Lexa feels Clarke’s lips again and soft hands holding her face her whole body relaxes and melts into the girl because now she no longer feels William on her lips, and all she taste is Clarke. She opens her mouth slightly and tangles her fingers in blonde hair as she holds Clarke close to her and they share this moment. 

The kiss has a level of passion and feeling that surpasses that of any other kiss they have shared despite how gentle it is. She doesn't even realize that she is crying until she taste the salt on her lips and realizes that she has a tear dripping down her her cheek and to the corner of her mouth. She isn't even sure what she's crying for. She's completely overwhelmed with emotion just from how fucking strong her feelings for the girl in front of her are.

Using one hand, Clarke reaches up to cup the exquisite jaw of the girl and runs her thumb over her cheek, pulling back enough to look at the beauty in front of her. She swallows hard and bites her own lip as she keeps caressing the princess’ face tenderly.

“I know I don’t tell you enough, Lexa, but you are breathtaking.” Clarke says lowly, almost whispering. “Hell, I don’t tell you much about… Anything. I’m not much for words, you know that by now,” She chuckles breathily and leans in to rest her forehead against the girl’s, brushing their noses together as she does it. “There is a lot you should know and once this is all over, I will try to tell you.”

Lexa only gives the blonde a small smile when she hears the gentle words and laugh coming from Clarke's lips. She nods just slightly and strokes the rebel's cheek gently, not seeming to be able to let go of the girl. "Just for tonight let's forget about everything." She whispers back and keeps trying to press impossibly closer, needing to feel like she's Clarke's again and needing to feel whole. "Tomorrow we can wake up and get back to our duties and I'll play the excited soon to be wife and you can get the files you need, but for tonight just come back to my room with me. Please." She lets out a deep breath and her green eyes are misty because there is so much happening but the only thing she needs is standing right in front of her.

Clarke kisses the tears from Lexa’s face, wiping them carefully as she hums and listens to the soft voice of the girl before pulling back to look into her eyes. She drags her thumb down to the princess’ lips and caress the lower one slowly, “Just you and I,” She whispers with a small nod and a tiny smile. 

Things feels so out of their control that she understands why the girl feels overwhelmed. She understands the need of having this little moment – this one last night of reality before everything turns back to a word of masks and pretends. Taking the girl’s chin between her thumb and index finger, she brings Lexa’s lips to hers again, in a slower and deeper kiss, as if the words she had never said is being spoken through her tongue as she licks the swollen lip and sucks it into her mouth. She then runs her hand down to the princess’ neck and up to her nape, tangling her fingers on the dark brown hair of the girl. She pulls her by the waist and presses their hips together. 

The rebel sighs into the kiss and pulls back before it gets too heated, placing a chaste peck on Lexa’s mouth at the end. She parts her lips as if she wants to say something, but closes it quickly and kisses the forehead of the girl gently, taking her hand with hers. They have to go back, otherwise people would start looking for the princess and things would get hard to explain, but as she looks at the girl in front of her, the blonde knows that she needs a moment before she can play the perfect daughter of the King again.

Lexa sighs in relief and she doesn't know how much longer of faking everything that she can handle before she is going to break. Knowing that she is at least getting one more night with Clarke where she can touch her and kiss her and they can belong to each other is soothing, because they have no idea what is happening tomorrow, or in a week, or in a month. Their futures are completely uncertain. They kiss for another moment before Clarke leans back.

Lexa doesn't want Clarke to pull away, so she chases her lips and presses several more gentle kisses to the corner of her lips before letting out a deep breath and swallowing hard as she stares at the girl in front of her and holds them close together. Before she can even think about what she's saying, the princess lets out a shaky breath and blue eyes meet with green. 

"Clarke, you're my everything." She realizes after she says the words that it's probably the most genuine and intimate thing she's ever told anyone, but before she can give herself time to keep thinking and say something that might make this even harder, she breaks their gaze and slowly removes her hand from Clarke's face, but the emotion doesn't leave her eyes, even when she turns so that she can take a few deep breaths and compose herself. She knows that she needs to go back inside and be the happy newly engaged girl she should be. 

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't be doing this now. I'll save this for when I have you tonight. For now, I need to try to be okay again." The brunette quickly wipes at her eyes and blinks away the emotion whelming in her chest before standing up again. She gazes at Clarke and holds her hands for a few more seconds, seeming to steady herself with this one person who she knows and loves so deeply. With a final gaze, she swallows hard and turns to walk towards the ballroom with her broken grace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, Paperadventures again. I just want to let everyone know what has been going on again lately. As you know, Lexark was out of town for about a month and unable to edit so we were not updating regularly. Luckily now she's back and I hope to get into a schedule again. I feel really bad for leaving you guys for so long because I really love how much everyone appreciates the story so far. 
> 
> I have recently been messaging with a few people on tumblr and three people consecutively recognized me for this story which is super cool. PLEASE let me know if you guys are still interested and reading in the comments below. They really mean a lot to me and it has been very disheartening to be getting hardly any on the recent chapters. If I know this is something people are still interested in, I will try to update more frequently. I am thinking at least once a week again. Once again, super sorry for the long hiatus.


	21. Vows

Like a moment ago, Clarke parts her lips as if to say something, but stops midway and nods slightly when she hears the apology coming out from Lexa’s lips. The rebel looks down at her own hands for a second before looking up again, in time to watch the girl transforming into a princess again. 

She clears her throat, looking around to make sure no one saw them, and then she steps back to give the taller girl some space. She notices how Lexa squares her shoulders and lifts her chin up, masking her emotions into a plastic fake smile. It’s only when the girl walks away that the rebel lets go of her breath and runs her hand through her hair, careful to not mess with it. 

Once her girl disappears through the doors, Clarke makes her way back as well, giving time for not to raise suspicions. She knows that the princess is probably with her new fiancée when she walks through the ballroom, easily stepping into her character of a naïve charming girl, overhearing the chats as she fishes for useful information and tries to put a face to the names she saw on the files earlier.

It doesn’t take much long for the blonde to spot the duke Arthur Wellington, who speaks a great deal of what the King’s troops should do, their weakness’ and strengths. She lets her eyes roam over his form, the sparse dark almost messy hair, the long and thin nose and pointy chin.

The man carries himself proudly, and laughs with ease – probably intoxicated. Clarke hums to herself before walking over little by little until the man catches her eyes. She doesn’t avert hers and smiles shyly, looking down after a second in a timid act. 

The girl looks up in time to see that the duke smiles as well, lifting his glass in her direction in a silent greet. She bowls her head politely and stays put, knowing too well that soon enough the man would excuse himself from the conversation and would walk over to court her.

\--

Lexa still feels an unsettling weight in her stomach as she stands around the ballroom and takes a deep breath to settle herself. She straightens herself up and tries to act like just minutes before she wasn't falling in love in the arms of someone who she will never be able to be with openly. She swallows hard, having to walk away from the girl she loves to spend the rest of the dance with the boy she is married to. 

Briefly as she walks into the crowd of people, now all smiling and congratulating her, she wonders what it would be like if this was different and she wasn't the princess and Clarke wasn't a rebel and if they didn't have this whole struggle in front of them that they are about to face. 

She imagines if they were just two normal people who had run into each other and she instantly wonders what that would be like and if they would still be drawn to each other in this intense way. After just a few minutes of wandering around inside, she feels a protective hand on her waist and looks up to see William beaming down at her.

"You okay Lexa?" He ask gently and she just gazes up at him for a moment and nods, feeling at least a little bit of relief that she has someone who is able to protect her from her dad. 

She knows that the king would never hurt her if he knew someone would see and considering the fact that within a matter of weeks she won't be able to simply cover up any damage with long dresses, her father will likely lay off any sort of physical abuse. 

"I'm okay. It's just a lot. I think I'm going to head up to my room a bit early tonight if you're alright with that." She says softly and he just nods his head in understanding. 

"Of course." He says gently and gives her a soft smile, a bit of concern in his eyes. Despite him assuring her it's okay, it is clear that the boy is a little hurt by Lexa wanting to run off, so she just sets her hand over his and looks up at him for a second. 

"Your kindness means more than you know. I'm glad it was you." Lexa's words seem to ease his mind a tad and he just gives her a soft smile and leans down to press a kiss to her forehead. 

"Go to your room and rest. I'll tell your dad you aren't feeling well." Lexa lets out a deep breath upon hearing the words and just nods slightly before accepting the kiss and turning to walk out of the room and into somewhere more private.

Lexa is relieved to be away from everyone in the ballroom and she is more than happy when she walks into the quiet of her own room. The little oil lamp is lit on her counter but it is still dim except for the flame light. 

She carries herself elegantly all the way over to her bed and when she finally reaches the bed, she sits down on the edge of it and lets out a deep breath. The luxurious fabric of the dress drapes over the curve of the bed to drag on the ground when she sways her legs gently back and forth. 

Her mind is loud as always, reminding her of everything she needs to do, and how she needs to act, and how her future affects everyone else. She imagines what it will be like if she does have to marry William, which is very likely, and the very thought of someone else laying in this room with her is enough to make her anxiety level rise.

\--

On the other side of the ballroom, Clarke finds out that it doesn’t take much to get the duke to spill more information about the King’s troops. Arthur is a proud and experienced man, but his ego is his weakness. Clarke explores it, playing naïve and interested, praising and fooling him into talking more than he should. 

By the time the rebel spots a familiar figure absent from the ballroom, the rebel has already got everything she needed from the duke and his drunk babbles. She stops herself before she can sneer at him, thinking about how easy the noble man are at thinking poorly about every woman they met. 

With that in mind, the blonde places her hand on his forearm and smiles sweetly at him. “I don’t mean to be rude, your grace, but I’m feeling a bit light headed. I’m not used to this much alcohol,” she says with a small self-depreciative chuckle, amusing the duke who looks at her with glassy drunk eyes. 

“Aye, aye. You should rest. Those drinks are made for the men, anyway. They are too strong for a fine lady like yourself.” Clarke smiles largely because otherwise she would punch the guy in the face. Bowing her head slightly, she nods as if she agrees with him. 

“It was a pleasure to talk with you, your grace. Excuse me,” With that, the rebel girl makes her way out of the room by the same door she saw the princess passing. Soon enough, after memorizing her turns and the castle wall, Clarke finds the brunette girl alone in an almost completely dark room, with her back towards the door.

The blonde bites her lip and, silently, she walks to where the other girl is. Careful to not scare her, she says a little ‘Hey’ before wrapping her arms around the princess from behind, placing a small kiss on her shoulder. After a beat, she rests her chin on the same shoulder and sighs quietly. “Are you okay?” She asks, already knowing the answer.

Lexa remains quiet but she willingly leans back into Clarke's strong arms and closes her eyes, allowing herself a moment to just relax and appreciate this moment with Clarke since their private time together seems to be getting less and less common. 

Both of them are just caught up in the heavy weight of the fabric of their gowns and the messy tangle of braids and ribbons that are holding their hair in the elegant fashions. She lets out a deep breath and gently strokes Clarke's hands that have wrapped around her, but only for a moment before pulling away and standing, only to make her way over to her door and turn the lock so that no one can end up coming and seeing Clarke here with her. 

For several minutes she doesn't answer the rebel's question, but when she does it is with a small sad smile. "I will be." And with that she walks over to where Clarke is sitting on the edge of the bed and reaches up to start to undo her hair and let it fall down her back, still keeping her regal way about her but also something else. 

The way she keeps her eyes on Clarke the whole time and then leans down to press their lips together has something desperate to it, like she need this girl in front of her to feel real and needed and protected. The kiss is brief and questioning before she pulls back and just gazes at Clarke for a few moments like she is debating if she wants to say something.

The answer doesn’t surprise Clarke, but it makes the rebel feel just as sad. She wishes she could do something to stop that things that the proposal will lead to, knowing what is expected from Lexa with the marriage. The thought of William’s hands touching her girl makes Clarke bite her lip hard, but she pushes it aside when the princess leans down and presses her lips on hers briefly. 

The blonde licks her lips, blinking at the girl as giving her space as she doesn’t press for whatever it is that the girl may or may not say. She just reaches for Lexa’s hips and brings the girl down, making her sit on her lap with each leg on her side. She holds the brunette’s safely, gripping firmly on her lower back and grazing her thumbs over the slim waist. 

Lexa willingly and obediently shimmies into her lap, feeling how her body is held close and how comforting it is. Lexa never stiffens or leans away from Clarke's touch, despite how when anyone else lays their hands on her she will instantly tense and get stuff and shut down, but with this Lexa just can't give herself over to Clarke enough.

With a tiny sigh, Clarke doesn’t break the eye contact and nudges the girl’s chin with the tip of her nose in a silent way of saying ‘I’m here’ and ‘take your time’. The rebel closes her eyes and peppers small lingeringly kisses over Lexa’s jawline and down to the girl’s throat before nuzzling her face into it. She has so many things to tell her, but right in that moment she just wants the time to stop for a while and enjoy having the princess in her arms.

Lexa just tilts her chin up and lets out several deep breaths and pulls the blonde closer, hearing how quiet and private everything is despite being in the castle. The princess opens her eyes just begins to work her fingers through Clarke's hair slowly to get it loose of its confines. 

"You look beautiful." She ends up saying those words instead but it is clear that was not what she was thinking of admitting. 

She ends up holding Clarke there like that for a minute and still keeps herself settled on the blonde's lap with there eyes gazing at each other when she begins unlacing the back of her dress and untying the threads of material that synch up the gown so tightly until after just a minute of fiddling, her dress loosens so it drapes down over her shoulders a bit more to show the top of the white lace bralette she has on. 

With her thumbs never stopping to caress the princess’ waist, Clarke takes the sight of the girl in, knowing that she wouldn’t have a chance to do it this closely soon. A loud sigh escapes the rebel’s parted lips as she drops her gaze to the exposed neckline and cleavage. 

The slightly sad expression in Lexa’s eyes never changes, even when she leans forward and begins to kiss at the corner of Clarke's mouth and down to her jaw, and maybe a part of Lexa is just upset. Maybe she is just sad and angry about having so little control over her life and this moment right here is something she has a choice in. 

Maybe part of her hopes it will make her feel less like her father's or William's and more like Clarke's. 

And while those things are true, there is also something else that she doesn't want to admit she's holding back. Just words they haven't said yet but both of them have silently told each other over and over through fond gazes and gentle touches. 

Maybe a part of her thinks that since she's too cowardly to speak the words out loud, this will somehow communicate them. 

So she slips off the ring and lets it drop to the carpet with a dull thud and watches Clarke's eyes as she leans in and begins kissing her and giving her more gentle loving touches while she lets her dress slid down from her shoulders and bunch around her waist. 

She keeps considering that she shouldn't be repressing how much she loves Clarke, and at a time like this she should be talking to the girl instead of this. She shouldn't be afraid to tell her, but God, she is. So she just holds her cheek and presses herself closer.

The blonde drags her hands down to Lexa’s thighs keeping her caress as they kiss slow and deeply, taking her time to suck and brush the girl’s tongue with hers. The rebel feels the tension and the despair of her lover in her lap and she aches for her. She aches for everything they haven’t said and done; For the uncertain future and for all the things that might happen once this night is over.

Sighing into the kiss before breaking it, Clarke blinks her eyes open and pulls back enough to look at the girl’s face again, letting the silence hover around them comfortably. With her eyes locked with Lexa’s, the rebel runs her hands up and wraps her arms around her with easy.

“Have I ever told you about how much I like your stubbornness?” The blonde girl says with crooked smile and a gentle tone, as if they were inside a very frail bubble and she’s afraid of it dissolving. 

“It drives me crazy because you are just so strong minded as I am and I’m used to everyone just obeying me around. Letting me have my way. But you…” She chuckles quietly and shakes her head, her eyes roaming over the girl’s face with such tenderness. “You fight back. You push and push and… I still don’t know how to deny you anything. Not when I love the way you scrunch your nose, and the little frown between your eyebrows when you are concentrated or upset. Not when I’m fucking addicted to your voice and your smell and your touch.” She wets her lips and hardens her grip around Lexa just slightly.

“Whatever happens, I’m proud of you. I’m proud of how strong you care and fight for the things you believe in, despite everything you went through. Whatever happens, I’m yours just as much as you are mine.”

The last thing Lexa expects of Clarke is for the girl to be staring at her and saying such kind and honest things, especially not while they are in the middle of a mission like this. It all just makes it feel very real and very risky because it seems like she's being reminded of all that she has to lose. 

The more Clarke speaks, the more her heart beats wildly in her chest and she can't help leaning forward and pressing their foreheads together so that they can breathe the same air and their lips can brush together. 

She thinks about how Clarke protected her when they first met, and how she had taken her down by the river when they finally reunited, and how she had treated her like an equal and protected her through everything. 

Lexa gets this look in her eyes when Clarke finishes speaking and she just swallows hard and stares at her for a moment, still straddling her lap and looking into her eyes. "Clarke I don't think I should tell you this," She starts to murmur in her soft voice and bites her lip in hesitation. But just looking into such soft blue eyes in front of her, Lexa knows that she means what she's about to say, and she knows that she can't help it. “I'm in love with you. God, I'm so in love with you.”

The rebel feels the hesitation from Lexa and runs her hands up, touching and caressing the naked and warm back of the girl. With her eyes on the green ones, she hears the words that have been spoken to her in form of actions since they both have met. She knows that they shouldn’t be here. She knows that they should be focusing on the mission and on getting everything they need from the castle. 

Still… With Lexa’s forehead against hers and their noses brushing slightly, she mutes the thoughts of her duties for the night and gives herself fully into this last moment. The blonde girl closes her eyes and smiles, nudging their noses together lazily and pulling the princess closer by her waist, needing to feel more of her. 

She nuzzles her face against the girl before dragging her lips over Lexa’s jawline, placing small kisses there. “I know,” she says against the smooth skin. And yes, she knows it because the princess tells her exactly that every time she runs her fingers through her blonde hair or takes her clothes off after a busy and tiring day, when Clarke is half sleeping. 

She shows it with every kiss and touch and every day she gives and gives and gives to the rebel without asking for anything in return. Pulling back and using her hand to reach up and comb her fingers through Lexa’s dark brown curls, she fixes her eyes on the girl’s and opens an intimate smile. “I love you too, princess,” She says the title in a loving and slightly teasing way.

Clarke quietly tells her that she knows and Lexa just stares at her with eyes so full of emotion, because this is the first person she's ever felt like this for. There have been so many people coming in and out of her life who take and take without ever returning anything to her and after years of that she had just started to feel hollow and feel like that is what all people are like. 

She had been abused and treated like some commodity that can be traded. She had been starved to make her look pretty and beaten into obedience, and that's what her world was until she met Clarke and the girl taught her that she can be treated gently and that she can be valued as simply herself. 

She hears those same words being echoed back to her and she isn't quite sure if she's breaking or being put back together again, and she can't help thinking that maybe it is a bit of both. She lets out a deep breath and leans down to kiss that little smile that has spread across Clarke's face and when she pulls back she can't help letting her own lips curl up slightly. "I've needed someone like you for a long time."

The rebel chuckles quietly into the kiss and raises an eyebrow at Lexa’s words. She smirks smugly and drags her hands over the warm skin of the girl, scratching her fingernails on her lower back absently. “Care to explain?”

She requests, even if she has some idea of what the girl meant. She heard stories about the King and how he treats his wife and his daughter. She knows that he beats them – mostly the Queen, but once in a while the princess is his the target. 

She knows about the quiet but smart little girl who used to spent most of her time on the library with her face between books, as if she needed an escape from her reality. She knows that girls like Lexa are taught to be less – to act like less in every sense of the word. She knows that the slim figure under her touch right now is like that because she was told not to eat much, and that’s why she can feel each rib as her fingertips caress the girl’s sides. 

What she doesn’t know is the stories behind it and how Lexa feels about it. What kind of deep scars are within the girl because of the abuse and the traumas – because it’s hard to remember that this beautiful and brave creature suffered so much when she stands tall and proud; or when she laughs loudly; kisses fiercely; gives freely. 

With a small sigh, she places sloppy kisses on the brunette’s throat and the curve of her neck, wanting nothing more than to take care and give affection to her. 

Lexa considers the question, she really does. Should she talk to Clarke about everything that has happened? She knows that the girl very well might already know everything that has gone down inside these castle walls, but she feels like Clarke really does want to know from her perspective. 

This girl she is sitting so closely to cares about her and it is for more than just her looks or her role, it is for her. There are some things that she has never told anyone in her life, and the abuse that has happened in the castle is one of those things. Maybe part of that is because she never had anyone she trusted enough, but more than that is just hurts. 

She gazes into Clarke's eyes and gives her just the slightest little sad smile before pulling back from the grip she's in. If they are going to talk about this then she doesn't want it to be while she's half dressed, so she stands and lets the ballgown that had bunched around her waist fall to the ground in a pile of fabric, leaving her in the lacy undergarments while she walks over to her drawer to pull on a teeshirt. 

It's one of Clarke's teeshirts. It's the one she had worn every night when they would cuddle together back in the bunk and she had stuffed it in her bag by accident when packing all her stuff up, but since then for the past week she has slept in it every night because it smelled like Clarke and it helped her feel closer to her. 

She pulls out another top to wear for Clarke and then crawls onto the bed and just gazes at her for a minute. She swallows hard and part of her doesn't want to ruin this nice time that they have together with the stories Clarke wants to hear.

A small chuckle escapes Clarke's lips as the princess wears the shirt and it’s comfortable to see something that she grew up accustomed to over the few days they spent together. The shirt looks better on Lexa, anyway, and so the rebel only smirks and shakes her head slightly, catching the top thrown at her before undoing her own gown – taking more time than the princess, since she isn’t used to that kind of dress.

Once she is free of the thing, she lets it rest by the end of the bed on the ground and puts the top on while the other girl crawls onto the bed and adjusts herself there. By the girl’s expression, Clarke knows she is about to say something meaningful, and so she laces their fingers together and brings the girl’s hand to her lips, kissing each fingertip of the princess as she stays with her eyes on the girl’s face and waits for it.

"When I was about 16 there was a girl named Alice who used to come here to the palaces and hang out with me.” Lexa begins speaking slowly. “We were very close and she and I used to tell each other everything and she was the first person I ever felt romantically towards." Lexa knows that this probably seems like a completely random thing but she reaches for Clarke hand and just holds onto it. 

"One day my dad caught us sitting in the common area just down the hall from here and I was holding her hand. My dad ended up catching us in there like that. Nothing bad. Just holding hands and sitting too close to be friendly I guess." Green eyes search blue and right now in the dim room it's easy to see how deeply troubled Lexa really is. 

"He ended up beating the shit out of me right there in front of her and he kept calling me a slut and a whore. He had hit me before but nothing like he did that day. That was when he began treating me just like he does my mother." She swallows hard and keeps stoking Clarke's hair gently. "Alice never came back to see me again. Not once." It was years ago but it still hurts her even thinking about the memories.” She swallows hard.

"That's why the door is locked right now. That's why I'm not even supposed to have girls up here with me." She ends up shaking her head slightly and inhaling a deep breath. "I've been waiting on someone like you because I need someone who isn't going to run away from me when they realize I'm a little messed up and when they realize what it's really like here."

Clarke nods, understanding what the brunette is telling her and hums lowly at the feeling of the girl’s fingers combing her hair, just the way she likes. When Lexa stops talking, the blonde moves to lay on her back against the pillows on the headboard and pulls the girl to lay over her side so they can get comfortable. 

And there it is, the need to hold and protect the princess and never let her go. With her arms wrapped around the girl, she runs her fingers on her waist absently, falling into a moment of silence where she can only hear the girl’s breathing. 

“I think we are all a bit fucked up.” She says quietly, sighing and leaning her head against the headboard to look up to the fancy ceiling. “There is no way I’m running away from you, Lex,” She states, dropping her eyes down to look at Lexa’s. “Unless you want me to.”

When Clarke very gently reaches up to pull her closer instead of looking at her like there is something wrong with her, Lexa lets out a deep breath of relief. She watches Clarke lean back against the bed and then pulls her down to get comfy by her side, which Lexa is more than happy to do. 

She curls up tightly into the girl and tangles their legs together before reaching down to pull the sheet and cover over them, now satisfied that no one is going to be interrupting them for the rest of the night. Lexa can't help but agree with what the rebel says.

Everyone has something wrong with them and something that they are trying to hide. Lexa and Clarke both have a weakness for each other and that is most evident as they lay wrapped around each other and completely tangled closely. 

"Don't you dare ever run away from me. There won't ever be a time where I don't want you. Never." The words are completely honest as Lexa says them and she just keeps holding the blonde, unable to get close enough. "I love you Clarke. And for tonight let's just pretend that is all that matters."

The rebel grazes her fingertips down and up under girl’s/hers teeshirt and brushed their feet together lazily as she holds Lexa closely. 

Humming and agreeing with the princess, Clarke uses her free hand to reach up and tuck a stray of brown hair behind Lexa’s ear, dragging her fingers down on the girl’s jawline slowly. “It is all that matters,” She whispers back, because there is no pretending when it’s only the two of them. “You are all that matters.” She repeats just before pressing a kiss on the girl’s forehead. 

Turning them around and laying the brunette on her back, Clarke wets her lips quickly, topping the girl gently and running her hand on the prominent ribs by the taller girl’s side.

“We’re okay. This is all that matters.” Lexa's soft voice echos Clarke's words back quietly and she holds Clarke against her at they kiss. She seems to melt at Clarke's fingertips and so for the rest of the night, they only have each other soft touches and whispered promises and it is the only thing in the world that they need.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a super lovely chapter to write for Lexark and I so I hope you enjoyed it. Let us know your thoughts down below, I love seeing what you think of the plot and the characters. Lexark and I just began posting another story as well that we are almost finished writing and so we hope you enjoy that. It is called "Distance" and has been added to the Tethered Soulmates Series, so if you are enjoying this, maybe consider giving that a try as well. That's for sticking with us and have a lovely rest of the day!


	22. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A month has passed since the engagement and the wedding is finally here. Clarke and lexa have not seen each other since Lexa must stay with her husband. Now is the night of the wedding and they meet again for the first time since saying goodbye after the proposal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Great news! Lexark is still very busy with school but at least she has her laptop back. I am going to start trying to update normally again, even if it means some editing by myself. Sorry for any editing errors, they are all my own.

Almost a month. That was how long they had been away from each other. It’s not much compared to the first time they were apart, but this felt different. Clarke had grown accustomed to having the other girl around; having her morning smiles and her cold feet against her calf during the nights and her calm voice when she talks to the kids. She got used at going to her bunk at the end of the day to a warm smile and seeking hands and kisses on her shoulders and neck and lips; And she misses it. She hates how empty her bed feels and how numbly silent the nights are without the rustling on the bed sheets; how hot and sweaty she feels because Lexa isn’t there to steal the blankets anymore. She was eager to come to the castle again. The first time she went there she had gotten so much important information that her father and the council had to throw a party when she passed them everything she’d gathered. She hoped that this second time she could do more for the cause, and also soothe the ache in her chest that she has been carrying since the day she left a crying Lexa behind. 

Her eagerness was killed as soon as she set her eyes on the couple. The princess was smiling freely and William was looking at her in such intense way that Clarke felt the need to avert her eyes and take deep breaths because it felt like someone was sitting on her chest and she couldn’t breathe. The ceremony was simple and it took the rebel by surprise. It was fancy, yes, but there wasn’t a lot of people around. It wasn’t as big as the ball she had participated in weeks ago, and it felt fitting. It felt intimate and good and like before, she had to take breaths and swallow hard, pushing down her personal feelings before slipping into her the character of good friend. She had made small talk with the ones she recognized from the last time, and the King himself threw some glances and disgusting smiles at her. In the end though, she had acquired more information and had left when people started to dance. Heading to the same garden she had entered the last time, she chooses a small and well hidden bench to sit. There, she closes her eyes and pinches her bridge of her nose before looking up to the orange sky, already full with stars. In a few hours Lexa would be sharing a bed with another person and she would have to stay put and let it happen.

For Lexa as well, the last month had been hard. After having experienced the freedom and safety of the rebel compound where she knows she is going to be protected and treated with kindness, it is hard to be back in the palace where everything is strict and harsh, forcing her to be on edge. Her father has been needing to speak with her a lot because of the wedding to get her preferences on things so he can arrange them, but each time they are together she is tense and short with him, just wanting to be alone as soon as possible. William and her have grown closer in many ways. He looks at her like she is radiant enough to compete with the stars in the sky, and she can't help that she just doesn't share the same feelings. He is kind, and protective, and gentle, but he's not Clarke. He isn't the one she loves. The weeks going by without the rebel girl were hard just for little reasons she didn't even realize until Clarke was gone, like waking up in the night to a nightmare and not having strong arms around her petting her hair and hushing her back to sleep. She misses the kisses and smiles and realness she got from Clarke, but more than anything she just misses being close.  
Since she is so busy going around with William, she doesn't even get a chance to say anything to Clarke despite seeing her around the ballroom and yearning to run to her. The after party doesn't last long just because everyone knows there are other duties that must be fulfilled, so as soon as people start to leave the dance, she politely excuses herself to get some fresh air and tells William that she needs to bathe and ready herself afterwards, so she will need privacy. The second she reaches the garden her green eyes gaze around and she is relieved to see Clarke sitting past the rose bushes. She holds the skirt of her dress off the ground and walks over quickly to the blonde, a huge smile on her face. She walks behind the girl and wraps her arms around her firmly, starting to plant wet kisses all over the back of her neck. "My love, I'm so happy to see you." She whispers and smiles brightly.

When she is suddenly wrapped in slim but tight arms from behind, Clarke tenses for a second before the familiar perfume hits her nose and senses, making her close her eyes and relax instantly. With a large smile on her face and a light blush on her cheeks, she leans back, throwing her head back against Lexa’s shoulder and giggles, actually giggles, under the innumerous kisses she is receiving. It’s like breathing again, she thinks as she places her hands on the girl’s forearms, holding and pulling her close. It’s like coming home. Like she was trapped under the water and she is suddenly able to go up for that first take of air. Large, deep, fulfilling. And she is warm. She’s exactly where she must be. Where she belongs. With a low chuckle, she opens her bright blue eyes – like water of a clear lake, to find a smiling and happy Lexa over her, with her cheeks just as red as Clarke’s and a light in her eyes that take the rebel’s breath away. 

“God, you are beautiful,” She blurts out because like a countless times before, she is hyper aware of how incredibly stunning the younger girl is. “Come here,” She says, lifting her hand up to take the girl’s chin between her thumb and index finger – despite the awkward position – and guide her down until there is no space between their lips. The kiss is slow and deep and Clarke takes her time to explore the girl’s mouth with her tongue, sucking and nibbling on Lexa’s lips as she slowly pulls back. “Hey,” She rasps out and smiles brightly at her lover.

Lexa can't help laughing quietly when they pull back and she just closes her eyes and hums softly, resting their foreheads together. "I've missed you so much." She whispers to her softly and all she wants to do it sit in her lap and cuddle together so that they never have to move apart from each other again, but they can't do that out here. "We need to go upstairs. I have some things I need to be doing, so come with me." She says the words gently and takes Clarke's hand to lead her around to the other entrance to the palace where there are less people. There, she finally lets go of the girl's hand so no one notices, but she keeps casting longing gazes over her shoulder, just smiling at the fact they are close to each other again. As they make it up the stairs and to her room, Lexa just closes the door behind them and embraces Clarke tightly. "I've missed you. I love you."

Clarke doesn’t take her eyes off of the girl that smiles and looks at her as if she was the most important thing in the word, and truly, she knows that that’s exactly how Lexa feels about her. She chuckles quietly when the princess says that she missed her and she hums, biting her own lower lip to prevent a large smile, nodding and brushing their noses together as she does so. As soon as she steps inside Lexa’s room, she’s pulled into a tight embrace, making her gasp and laugh into the curve of the girl’s neck. Her own strong arms circles the slim waist of the girl, pulling her impossibly closer and keeping her there, prolonging the hug for a long time. 

“Fuck,” She blurts out and kisses the girl’s neck and jawline before pulling her head back enough to take another look at Lexa’s beautiful face. “I’ve missed you so fucking much,” She presses her lips in a thin line as her cheeks blushes with the mix of emotions flowing inside her. She drags her hand down to firmly hold the girl’s waist as she leans in and brushes their noses and lips together. “Love you,” She whispers before nuzzling her face under Lexa’s chin and closing her eyes for a minute, letting herself enjoy the fact that she has the girl in her arms again after what felt decades.

As much as Lexa just wants to stay there in Clarke's arms forever, she knows there will be other stuff going on tonight that she must prepare for and the thought just makes her hold the girl tighter. "I love you more." She murmurs quietly, and it feels like she's complete again after having half of her soul out of her reach for so long. She keeps her face in Clarke's neck just inhaling her scent and feeling those familiar arms around her. She leans back just enough for her to pepper gentle kisses all over Clarke's jaw and face before connecting their lips one more time as she pulls herself flush against Clarke and melts into her and the kiss, their tongues brushing together and each of them taking their time to suck and nibble on each other's lips. When she finally pulls back, she just gives the blonde a smile and gazes out the window to where the sun is setting and reminding her of their limited time together. 

"I have to get ready for tonight." She sighs quietly and gazes down at her dress as she explains, knowing that they both understand what she means. With a last squeeze of Clarke's hand, she drops it and walks across her room to the bathroom that connects to it so that she can turn on the knobs to the bath to get warm water flowing and start to fill up the tub. As it fills she walks back out and sits on the edge of the bed, glancing over her shoulder at the rebel girl. "Can you unlace this dress for me?" She ask quietly, leaning back against the rebel because more than anything she just wants to be close to her.

Clarke swallows hard and lets out a shaky breath before clenching her jaw for a moment. As soon as she hers the sound of water filling the tub, she draws a small reassuring smile on her lips, putting her own thoughts and feelings aside to be what the other girl needs her to be. She watches as Lexa crosses the room to sit on the edge of her enormous bed and glances at the rebel with a hint of smile on her lips as well. Clarke nods slowly and tangles her fingers around the brown curls, placing them on Lexa’s shoulder and exposing the nape of the girl’s neck. Without holding herself back, she leans down and presses small lingering kisses there, knowing too well that they don’t have much time. Swallowing hard as she pulls back, Clarke works on the dress in silence, careful to not break the moment; knowing that Lexa is probably nervous and scared of what may happen in a few hours. Once she unlaces the dress completely, she lets the fabric fall down, exposing the girl’s shoulder, chest and arms, and so she lifts her hand to caress the nice skin of the princess in a slow and tender caress.  
“I will be in the other room the whole time. If he…” She swallows once again and wets her lips, sighing loudly, “If things go badly, come after me and I will take you away, okay?” She leans down again, places a kiss on the bare shoulder and wraps an arm around the girl’s slim figure. “I’d take you to the compound and you’d never have to see William or your father again. Just say the word and we are done here.”

When Clarke speaks, Lexa just swallows hard stiffens slightly at the thought of what is to come in just a few hours. She knows Clarke means it when she makes that offer, but she also knows she isn't going to be able to take her up on it. They have gone this far to get information, if Lexa leaves now then it will tip everyone off that she has joined the rebels and many security changes will occur. "I know." She whispers quietly and remains there for a minute in silence before she stands up and lets the dress drop to the floor around her. She walks over to the bathroom before taking off her underwear and turning off the water before lowering herself into the tub. There are soaps sitting on the side of the bath and she just sits there looking at them for a second. 

"Clarke, come sit with me." She murmurs gently, gazing through the open door at the rebel as she sits on the bed. She just wants to be close. She wants to be near Clarke for as long as possible so she sits there in the bath and watches as the rebel walks over to stay next to her. By now the marks Clarke had left on her body are gone, and Lexa finds herself rubbing her neck gently sometimes wishing that when she woke up in the mornings she still had to go through the haste of covering up bites.

The girl’s voice makes Clarke flick her eyes up to meet the green pleading ones. With a small nod, she stands up and steps forward without hesitance. Once she is next to the girl, she reaches behind her back and roughly unlaces her dress, making it fall around her feet before she steps out. Her underwear follows down too and soon she is naked as well, feeling the need to hold the girl close again. “Move ahead,” She asks quietly and once Lexa gives the space she needs, she places herself on the girl’s back, having her between her legs and her back pressed on her front. Her arms wraps the skinny body of the princess and she leans her head down to rest her forehead on the girl’s shoulder, closing her eyes for a second. “I’m here,” She mumbles before pressing a kiss on the crook of Lexa’s neck. “I’m here,” She repeats, resting her chin on the same shoulder and holding her girl closer.

They have hardly spoken at all but there is so much on both of their minds that sometimes silence and gentle comfort is all they need. Lexa reaches for a hair tie that is sitting on the edge of the bath and she pulls her hair up in a tight bun so it doesn't get wet. After its out of her face except for a few baby hairs that peek out, she reaches for the soap and squirts some of the fruity scented gel into her hand to start to rub onto her shoulders and chest then down to her legs. She's completely nervous about being with William and she's never felt that way when she's been intimate with Clarke. She's always trusted the woman completely never to hurt her and never to judge her, but she wonders if William will be the same. She knows Clarke has been with men before so she goes quiet for a second as she washes herself. "Will it hurt?" She suddenly murmurs, and glances over her shoulder at Clarke.

Clarke arches one eyebrow when the princess’ voice cuts the silence. The rebel frowns for a second before understanding the question and stopping her movements to think for a moment. Images of the girl taking her fingers to the knuckle and riding fast on her hand comes up on her mind and she sighs, shaking her head slightly before continuing the massage. “No, I don’t think it will. You can take a lot and honestly, the boy doesn’t seem to be very… lucky on that department. If you are not into it, it can be very uncomfortable, though. Especially if he’s a virgin and doesn’t really know what to do with his cock.” She stops again to purse her lips, remembering the time she took Lexa’s hymen. “What will you do about your non virginity?” She asks curiously. They haven’t talked about it and she wanted to know if the girl had something planned.

Lexa relaxes back into the hands of Clarke and lets out a breath of relief when she hears that it won’t hurt her. With Clarke there has been pain, yes, but she's always had the option to make it stop anytime she likes. With William it will be different though. It's not her place to tell him what to do or how to do it so she is just expected to take whatever she's given. The thought makes her push back tighter against Clarke and she rest her eyes, only speaking up when the rebel ask her a question. Her face flushes slightly but she decides to be honest because if she can tell anyone, it's Clarke. She swallows hard and keeps her eyes closed, enjoying Clarke rubbing her shoulders for her. "I'm just getting off my period." She murmurs softly and sighs. "But I'm still spotting so I think I'm going to bleed on the sheets." She feels embarrassed saying something like that, but as long as the sheets are stained, it is assumed the girl is a virgin. "That's all that matters. I don't think he would say anything even if I don't."

Clarke hums and nods slowly satisfied by the answer. It’s a good plan and Lexa would be safe. She rests her chin on the girl’s shoulder and wraps her arms around her waist, pulling her closer as she hugs her tightly, letting the silence hover around them again like before. It’s not pleasant the thought of Lexa having sex with another person but she won’t say anything. Not when she knows it must be a thousand times worse for the princess herself to be the one getting intimate with the prince. Using her fingertips, she caress the flat stomach under her touch before running her hand up to a breast in a non sexual way. She grazes her thumb over the nipple, feeling it turning rigid and she closes her eyes with a loud sigh. It feels good to be able to just touch and love Lexa’s body. It feels right and already familiar and she is struggling at the thought of another touching her girl this way. 

“It’s a good plan,” She comments minutes later and presses sloppy kisses on Lexa’s wet and bare shoulders and nape of the neck. “I love you,” She whispers because she knows she doesn’t say it too much. She knows she lacks a way with words and she isn’t very much at the whole emotions and feelings stuff. But she also wants Lexa to know how important and cared for she is. “Don’t forget it.”

Lexa sighs quietly and nods her head. "I love you too sweetheart." She whispers softly and presses a gentle kiss to Clarke's cheek, having to shift around slightly to do it. "You're my whole world." She murmurs to the rebel and knows it's true. She's never met someone who she cares so deeply for and trust so much in. "You're my moon and stars."

Like the sky holds the earth, Clarke is there supporting Lexa constantly and she knows it will always be that way. Their souls are intertwined even deeper than they know and she just sighs softly. She begins to use the warm water to wash the soap off of herself while the rebel keeps rubbing her back with one hand and then touching her stomach and chest with the other. It's not sexual, it's just comforting and protective, so she relishes in the feeling of a callused thumb gently holding her breast and rubbing her nipples until they perk up under the touches. Once all of the soap is washed off of her, leaving her clean and soft, she unwillingly unwraps herself from Clarke's arms so she can get up out of the bath, water droplets dripping onto the floor. She grabs two towels and gives one to Clarke as the girl stands up before wrapping one around herself and beginning to dry off. Since her hair is up, it doesn't take long and then she tosses it on the towel rack and makes her way back into the bedroom. She pulls on her underwear and lays the simple white dress she will be wearing on the edge of the bed before laying down in the soft sheets and cuddling into them, not yet wanting to get dressed for the evening. She lets her hair out and rolls onto her side gazing across the pillow at the place Clarke will lay because right now she just wants to cuddle. She's exhausted and feels like she could just sleep from all she's been stressing.

Clarke too dries herself quietly and without rush. She can hear Lexa’s movements but when she stops at the doorway, she sees the girl laying down on the bed with only her underwear, curling like an unprotected and scared child, a sighs escapes the rebel’s lips and after tossing the towel on the floor, she crosses the room and quietly crawls on the bed until she is laying on Lexa’s side. Silently, she reaches for the girl, pulling her close and laying her head on her chest before wrapping her arms around the familiar slim waist in a protective and firm way. 

“I’m sorry,” She says after a few minutes. Her eyes are glued on the ceiling and her legs are tangled with the princess. Her heart and head hurts and she feels useless. It’s head over heart but everything in her is screaming to take the girl in her arms and run away. “I’m sorry, babe,” She whispers again, tucking her chin down to press her lips on Lexa’s forehead as she caress the girl’s back. “I’m sorry.” Her lips brushes the damp skin and she closes her eyes, tightening her grip around the brunette, wanting to do something, anything to prevent what is about to happen in a few hours. “Tell me what to do.” She asks because right now she would do anything to make things better.

Lexa lays there and closes her eyes as Clarke is wrapping strong arms around her frail body and pulling it close so she turns around and presses against her chest, taking comfort in being so close to the girl. "Don't be sorry." She whispers quietly, because she knows there is nothing more Clarke can do for her than just keep being here by her side. "Just stay here with me please." She murmurs gently and curls herself up tighter against the blonde, feeling helpless but safer when she's closer to Clarke. She sighs softly and closes her eyes, just nuzzling into the rebel and relaxing completely. "One day we will have a better life and none of this will matter anymore." She whispers softly before closing her eyes. She's so tired and it's clear in the way she carries herself and just curls helplessly against Clarke, trying to snuggle closer. She stays like that for a while, just turning silent and then eventually drifting into sleep. It's a light rest but she trust Clarke will wake her up when it gets a bit later and everyone has left, because then she will be going to go stay the night with William.


	23. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Several hours have passed since Clarke and Lexa were spending their final moments together before she went to consummate the marriage with William. Everything has concluded and Lexa and Clarke deal with the consequences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MAJOR WARNING: Rape is referenced directly in this chapter. 
> 
> This chapter takes place (as the summary explains) directly after William and Lexa have had sex to consummate the marriage. Lexa and Clarke had the choice of trying to run from the castle instead, but they both knew that if they did this instead of agreeing to the marriage then they would lose any chance of getting information from the castle because neither Lexa or Clarke would be able to show their faces there again. Lexa made the decision to consummate the marriage with William so that they can continue benefiting from the perks of having Lexa in the castle to help gather information. This is obviously a very touchy subject and Lexark and I tried to write this in the most sensitive way possible so that it can aid the plot in the way that is was supposed to. For those of you who want to skip this chapter, I will place a summary of events in the notes at the bottom of the page.

She had blocked it out. As much as she possibly could, she tried not to think about what was actually happening. She remembers holding on so tightly to Clarke until she had to drag herself to go down the hall to the master bedroom where she met with William. Her hands had been quivering and when the prince had taken off her dress and left her standing there feeling exposed in a way she's never felt before. She had been tense and nervous but she never cried or argued, she just bit back her emotions and had let everything happen just how it was supposed to. Clarke was right. It hadn't been an intense pain, but it had ached and been uncomfortable and even as she lays in the bed now that it's done, it still feels that way. They are both naked and his arm is around her waist holding her close, but she is still tense, not able to relax like she usually does when she's around Clarke in this situation. He had been quiet for a while now and the room is completely dark so she very slowly starts to untangle herself from him until she's able to stand up and get out of the bed. Quickly, she reaches down to the ground to grab her underwear and pull them on and the loose simple dress she had been wearing earlier. When William notices the girl getting up, he tiredly sits up. "Lex. Lex. What are you doing?" He murmurs quietly. 

"I just need air." She says back without looking at him, but he is quick to get up and pull on his boxers and shirt before walking to the doorway after her. "Lexa, just come lay down and relax." He grabs her arm gently and tries to guide her over to the bed again, but she yanks away from him hard, making him recoil slightly. 

"Don't!" She snaps more harshly than she means to and swallows hard. William looks confused and hurt. "Just leave me alone. Please." She says quickly. "I need space. I didn't want this. Just give me space." She's not yelling but her voice is shaking and it's clear her emotions are all going to come out soon.

Back in the room, Clarke have been fuzzing around. She couldn’t really stay put, not when her girl was being touched and taken in a way that only the rebel had been able to. Every time she stopped, her mind would come up with images and possibilities of what could happen and she hated it. She had punched the bed, the walls and every fucking flat place she could find, never minding the ache in her knuckles. She needed to let the anger go and that is one of the ways she used to. She doesn’t know how much time have passed when she hears steps on the corridor and she stops, turned to the door with large eyes, ready to go out and find what is happening. The blonde girl doesn’t have to wait much, because a second later a familiar figure is opening her door and closing it behind her. Time stops then and there, and after a beat Clarke is quickly crossing the room with large steps to take and pull Lexa into her arms, sensing just how shaky Lexa is as she enters.

“Shh…” She whispers, kissing the top of the princess as she holds her tightly. “Shh, babe, you are safe,” She continues, rubbing her hand on the back of the girl and caressing the nape of her neck with the other. “I’m here,” She kisses the icy tip of her ear and pulls Lexa’s head to her neck, comforting her lover. “I’m here,” She repeats and just holds her for a long moment before pulling back just enough to slowly guide the brunette to the bed. She makes her sit down on the edge of the mattress before getting on her knees on the floor, putting herself between her legs before looking up to the trembling girl. “Do I need to kill him?” She asks honestly, with a ton of scenarios playing on her head.

As soon as Clarke crosses the room to her, she lets out a deep breath and flings her arms around the girl as she holds her close and closes her eyes, feeling tired and filthy and just overall shaky from everything that has happened. She wants nothing more than to just go to sleep with Clarke holding her, and she knows that it will likely be strange and suspicious, but she doesn't care, she just wants her lover. Being wrapped in the familiar arms is what she needs to make her tears start to fall and she just cries softly against the blonde's shoulder because all the pent up stress is coming out this way. All the lack of control over herself and her body and her future come out in the form of tears slipping down her cheek.

"He didn't hurt me. He tried to be gentle with me." She manages to get the words out despite how tight her throat is. "I just need you." She chokes out and tries to compose herself. She hasn't really broken down or cried since the night they met in that cell together, so it's clear she doesn't do it unless she's seriously distressed.

Nodding quickly, Clarke presses her lips together in a thin line before standing up and sitting on the bed by Lexa’s side. With her free hand, she reaches up to tuck the messy brown hair of the girl behind her little ear before grazing her thumbs over the damp cheeks. “I’m here,” She says quietly, wiping the tears that are streaming down the princess’ face. Wanting to hold the girl, and knowing that she need to be held, the blonde scoots over the bed until she is half lying on her back, with her head propped against the pillow on the headboard. She then tugs Lexa’s hand and slowly guides the girl to lay down with her. “For as long as you need.” Clarke whispers, wrapping her arms around the skinny girl tightly as she runs her hands over her back in a reassuring way. She closes her eyes and kisses the top of Lexa’s head, taking a deep breath and taking in the smell of the girl’s soap to calm her own nerves and worries. She is glad that William had been gentle with the girl. She suspected as much, even if her mind insisted on playing bad scenarios for the past few hours. She also knew that while Lexa isn’t physically hurt, the girl must be pretty shaken mentally and emotionally. She presses another kiss against the princess’ hair before reaching down to pull the blanket over them. Once warm and comfortable, she starts to hum the same lullaby she sang the first time Lexa slept on her like this. Her fingertips caress the girl’s back under her dress slowly and absently and she focuses on the sound of her breaths as she thinks about an uncertain future where all of this could lead to, and she hopes that whatever the future is, it is worth all their sacrifices and loss.

Lexa takes a deep breath and tries to begin relaxing. She's safe now. Nothing can happen to her now. Clarke is protecting her now. Her whole body just goes slack against the rebel's and she continues crying softly, just unable to hold in the tears. It isn't because she's hurting physically. The dull ache she has now is nothing compared to just how shaken she is from the entire situation and everything else that has to happen. Clarkes gentle touches soothe her in a way she never knew someone could and very quickly she ends up stopping her sobbing and just laying against her chest with teary eyes, feeling completely exhausted. 

"I love you Clarke." She murmurs softly and swallows hard, just breathing in the girl's familiar scent and letting herself calm down. Just the way her body instantly relaxes to each touch and the way Lexa's green eyes gaze up at Clarke like she means everything in the world makes it clear how much love and trust runs between them. She stays like that for a long time, mostly silent and then occasionally letting out a soft sob, but eventually she slowly sits up and goes through her drawers until she finds Clarke's shirt. She used to wear it every night when they were apart because it smelled like Clarke and it had reminded her of being close to the girl. It had grown to be a comfort over the weeks they were apart. Now, she takes off the dress she had worn and slides on the big shirt, the bags under her eyes making it clear how exhausted she is and she is quick to snuggle under Clarke arm and into her neck so she can get cuddled tightly. "I love you." She murmurs softly again and let's out a deep breath. Her eyes are already beginning to close and she just sighs quietly.

“I love you too, Woods.” Clarke says lightly, not sure if the princess is still awake or not. It doesn’t mind, anyway. She hopes that she is what the girl needs and that her own words are enough to comfort her. The rebel is still a bit reckless, although tired, but she isn’t sleepy. She knows she must sleep because the next day will be full of snooping around the castle and playing a good noble girl. Like before, she hopes again that this is all worth it. Their own pain and their battles. Deep down she knows it is – especially when she thinks about her mother and her smile and the color of her eyes. She smiles again, thinking about how Abby would have dealt with the fact that her daughter is sleeping – in love – with the daughter of the King. She chuckle quietly then. Her father was right. Her mother would have laughed hard.

Lexa can hear Clarke's gentle murmurs and she tries to stay awake, but she's so exhausted and tense that sleeping seems like the only thing that can help her relax. She places one hand on under Clarke's shirt feeling the skin of her stomach and chest, soothed by the contact she is so familiar with. Her fingers trace the sides of Clarke's breast and ribs until she relaxes completely and her movements stop, making it clear she's fallen asleep. Unlike usual though, her body doesn't instantly melt into deep rest like it usually does. She whines quietly and shifts quickly every once in a while, her bad dreams clear. 

Every time Clarke felt the other girl mumbling and whining and turning with her bad dream, she would try to soothe her touching and caressing Lexa’s back and arms. It has been tiring days for the princess, but the marital duty must have been ‘it’. The last drop. Of course the rebel has seen Lexa spending night with nightmares before, especially on those first days on the compound. But never like this. Never intense and loud and long. 

For less than an hour she stays like that, tossing and turning against Clarke before she shoots up in the bed and cries out loudly, her shout piercing the silent room, quickly followed by her sobs. "Help! Clarke help!" She sobs pathetically into the girl's shoulder and just clings to her tightly, the nightmare she had just experienced playing over again in her mind. She usually never speaks out loud when she dreams, but this time because of all the stress she had screamed loud enough for anyone close to hear.

Clarke sits up as well and reach for her quickly, pulling her against herself and wrapping her arms protectively around her lover. “Shh, you are okay. I’m here, babe,” She whispers with her mouth pressed against Lexa’s ear as she rubs her hands on her back in a soothing and reassuring way. 

Only a minute after as she holds Clarke tightly and sobs, William runs in from down the hall. "Is everything okay?" He ask quickly in a panic, clearly having heard the crying. The fear on his face is genuine and when he sees Lexa's tears and instantly steps forward towards the bed, trying to reach down to grab Lexa from Clarke so he can hold her, but she cries louder and clings to the rebel, refusing to let go. The room is dimly lit but there Lexa is in a baggy tee shirt, crying and clutching onto Clarke. "Stay with me. Please stay." She cries quietly to the blonde, still too shaken and not thinking properly to realize what William must be thinking.

The rebel’s mind is working hard as fuck. She knows what the scene must look like. Lexa is poorly covered in a worn old shirt too long and too masculine to be hers, crying and holding onto Clarke, asking for the blonde to stay with her. Her blue eyes flicks up to meet with the boy’s, and in a daring way – as if she is challenging him into thinking or saying something or objecting against it – she pulls the girl against her, into her lap, as she presses her own back against the headboard. “Sh…” She places a kiss on the top of Lexa’s head, with her eyes trained on the prince, waiting for him to make a move.

William just looks frozen, like he can't believe what is in front of him. When Lexa had sobbed and panicked with him, he had tried to hold her and comfort her, but the princess didn't want any of it. He had assumed she just needs her space in times like that, yet here she is cuddled against some girl he hardly knows, both of them wearing sleeping clothes and melting against each other. He looks at how relaxed Lexa is against the girl and a part of him instantly knows how close she would have to be to someone to trust them that much and he feels himself tense at the thought. He notices how the blonde, Rosalind or something, gazes at him and he walks over closer reaching out to place his hand on his wife's back.

Lexa takes deep breaths as soon as Clarke holds onto her tighter, hardly aware that William has even come in. She's far more concerned with the way Clarke kisses her forehead and helps her onto her lap, holding her and soothing her as she leans her head back onto Clarke's shoulder and breaths in her smell. She knots both of her hands in Clarke's shirt and closes her eyes, her body trembling and eyes closed as the nightmare had been just enough after everything else to push her over the edge. "Clarke stay." She keeps whispering quietly into her neck, almost like she's afraid it's time for the rebel to leave, and like last time she clings to her and sobs like a scared child, pleading for her to stay.

"Lexa, come here." He says quietly, but the girl wraps her arms around Clarke. "Lexa come on, you're okay." He says softly and gently tries to pull her away, which only makes her tense and shake her head. William then focuses on Clarke and he's clearly frustrated, at who it's not clear. "What is this? Do you know what her father would do to her if he saw this?"

With her cold blue eyes on the prince, Clarke repeats Lexa’s words, making it clear what will be happening. “Clarke stay,” She growls, keeping her arms around the girl in her lap. Although her whole body is tense and ready to fight, her hands keep touching and soothing the prince with light caresses on her back. Clarke fights the urge to roll her eyes when William speaks of the king, but can’t help the sneer on her lips and words. She knows that her real name is out and this is a dangerous situation they are in, but she knows her strengths and weaknesses. 

“I don’t know what you think this is, your highness,” The title is spoken in an almost mocking way and she knows, she fucking knows she is playing with fire, but she can’t help it. “But what you are seeing is a scared girl running to her best friend because someone couldn’t be sensible enough to know how bloody hard it is to be used as a sex toy.” She huffs and looks down to Lexa briefly, making sure that the girl is okay. She uses her hand to reach up and tuck the princess’ hair behind her tiny ear, caressing her jaw for a second before looking up again. “But of course you would pervert this into something dirty,” She scoffs and shakes her head, finding it easy to play her character. She knows she is playing right, though. She is making sure that he feels guilty enough to not think about why Lexa is wearing a worn out shirt, too big to be hers, and why she is asking for Clarke to hold her. She is trying to flip the table and put him on spot. To make him see what he did to Lexa and how scared he made her feel – enough for her to forget about clothes and underwear and everything around her. “I think you should leave.” She says and she knows it sounds like an order, but she can’t and won’t fight it anymore. Not when she feels her girl trembling and sobbing and curling herself against the rebel, and yes, it is right there that she understand what her priorities are. 

William starts to try to explain, but just the look on Lexa's face showing how hurt she is from everything that has been going on shows how he and so much else has affected her. He opens his mouth like he might protest, then very gently strokes Lexa's hair a few times, clearly trying to relax her. "I love you, Lex." He tries to soothe her gently but it doesn't help, only Clarke's familiar voice and touches make her calm down. He then directs his gaze up to the rebel and swallows hard. "I'll go." He clearly feels guilty and just gazes at the brunette for a moment. "Just let me know if you need anything. She has pills in her room I found that help her sleep. Hell, they are strong enough to knock her out." He doesn't sound happy that Lexa has such strong medication, but he knows it's no place of his to mention it to her. Lexa hadn't even said anything to Clarke, because it's only when the rebel is away that she takes the pills and it calms her enough she can sleep without her lover there holding her. The prince walks over to the door with a small frown and glances back over his shoulder.

The rebel nods absently once she hears Lexa’s mumble against her neck and she runs her fingers through the girl’s hair in a gentle way. “Yes we will,” She whispers back, looking down briefly to make sure that she is still awake and calming down. The rebel girl clenches her jaw but doesn’t say anything else because the lass does seem worried about Lexa. He does look like someone who is in love with her and really, who wouldn’t fall for this girl? So she closes her eyes for a second and let a deep breath out quietly, rocking the princess in her arms like a baby. Once he says about stepping away and about the pills, the blonde girl frowns and looks down again, but pushes her thoughts away for a moment, considering this new fact briefly. “I will– I will go to you if she needs them.” She clears her throat because it is hard to accept help, especially from a royalty, but she also knows that he does like Lexa and it seems like he wants to make sure that his wife is okay.

“Thank you, William.” She says, forgetting about the title for a second, but not really caring. The dismiss is clear in her tone, just like her gratefulness. As soon as he leaves the room, she closes her eyes and rests her back against the headboard, pulling Lexa with her as she feels her muscles relaxing. For a moment she takes a breath and focuses on the girl she loves. Slowly, she runs her hands down and up, under the fabric of her shirt, trying to warm the trembling girl. She kisses her forehead and top of her head before closing her eyes for a moment, giving Lexa some time to calm down and rest. But after a long silence, she blinks her eyes open and looks down, “Babe?” She whispers, trying to know if Lexa is sleeping or not.

During the temporary silence, Lexa just lays there until she's able to think properly again and she realizes what had just happened and how bad it could have been, but luckily Clarke had thought quickly. She hears the blonde's gentle voice and gazes up at her, eyes puffy and voice scratchy from screaming. "Yes?" She answers softly, still taking comfort the way she's gently soothed and rocked. "I'm okay." She whispers again, letting Clarke know that the panic has faded. "I'm alright now." It's the early hours of the morning and Lexa isn't see if she would rather try to sleep again or just lay with Clarke, wrapped around her and listening to her voice. A part of her feels guilty for having nightmares and reacting in such a way that got them caught by William, but luckily nothing bad seemed to come of the situation, yet only morning will tell for sure. If he were to say anything to the king, she would be in trouble for sure. Both her and Clarke would. Part of her feels like William really does care enough not to do something like that though.

Clarke hums and nods briefly. She is relieved and calm, but she keeps caressing the girl in a reassuring and soothing way, making it clear that she is there with her. The rebel purses her lips before biting the bottom one in thought. She wants to question the princess about the pills and they both must build up a plan b if the King gets to know what happened during the night. She is almost sure that it won’t come to that, because William does care about Lexa. But she knows better than to trust a royalty. With a sigh, she rests her head against the headboard and looks up to the ceiling for a moment, enjoying the pressure of the girl’s body against hers, the warmth and the weight and the way she can feel her breath hitting her neck second by second. She knows Lexa must be exhausted and probably sleepy, feeling safe for the first time in that night – almost morning, and Clarke doesn’t really want to break that bubble, but, “Do you want me to get your pills?” She asks anyway. She doesn’t demand an explanation because, well, everyone deals with their demons in different ways and she won’t judge Lexa for taking it on medication. She worries, yes, but it’s not her place to say what the girl must or mustn’t do.

Lexa gazes up at the blonde as soon as she speaks, the calming voice breaking the silence. Her green eyes look up into the rebel's blue ones and she frowns slightly. She didn't mean for anyone to know about those. They are hidden away in her drawer because lately she's been getting worse nightmares and panic attacks when Clarke is not there with her to help her relax. It's only now that she really starts to realize what William had said when he was here. She almost looks guilty. 

"No. You're here." She says quietly and let's out a deep breath. She swallows hard and nuzzles closer to the girl. She feels like she needs to explain herself so she just gazes up at Clarke with her green eyes that always reflect a kind of gentle sadness. "I only take one." She promises softly and reaches for Clarke's hand. She knows Clarke wouldn't be mad at her but she still feels like she's doing something wrong. "I take them in the mornings sometimes so then I don't get anxiety attacks through the day." Lexa doesn't act anything like herself when she's on the pills because they numb her completely since they are supposed to be used for sleep. "I know I shouldn't. I'm sorry." She says quietly and keeps stroking the girl's palm.

Clarke stays quiet, listening to Lexa’s low and raspy voice as she talks about her pills in a guilty and ashamed way. The rebel hums and nods as she caress the girl’s back lazily, without rush or pressure. She understands why the princess would take the pills. She knows by now – or at least she knows enough – to understand that she went and go through a lot when she is staying on the castle under her father’s gaze. The blonde herself has had her share with pills and other things when she was young and too angry to deal with everything else. She used sex as an escape as well before finally working out a way of release with physical combat practice. 

“You don’t need to apologize or explain yourself, Lex.” She says quietly and gently before pressing a kiss on the girl’s forehead. “It is wrong? Yeah, of course. But you already know it, and I’m not here to judge you for that. All I can say is for you to take care of yourself because you are too important to me, you know?” She bites her lower lip and frowns her eyebrows, trying to find the right words. “I understand why you need it, and I won’t tell you to stop. You are not my propriety and I will never tell you what to do or say. You are free and I’m not putting you on a cage. So…” She half shrugs, hoping that she is making some sense. “All I ask is for you to take care of yourself. Because you are the most important thing I have in my life right now.” She finishes and grimaces because she is being lame. But her eyes are on the way Lexa strokes her palm in a familiar and soothing touch.

Lexa nods her head against Clarke's chest and let's out deep breaths. The rebel is so calm and nonjudgmental that Lexa can't help squeezing her hand tighter and relaxing. She had known already Clarke would never lash out at her, but she also didn't want her to be disappointed or upset, and she's happy the girl is neither. "I take care of myself. I promise." Lexa says quietly and gently wipes at her eyes that are now puffy and red from all her crying. She would be lying if she said she never thought about hurting herself, but within these past months she hasn't contemplated it for more than a few minutes before Clarke takes over her thoughts and reminds her of what she's fighting for. They can have a future. They can be happy. Every time those thoughts go through her head, she knows it's worth suffering every day just for the end result of having Clarke and being able to be happy with the girl she loves. She's completely exhausted both mentally and physically so she wraps her arms slowly around Clarke's waist and rest her cheek against the girl's chest while she adjust to drape herself over the rebel's body so they are pressed together closely and she can lay down against her. She intertwined their fingers and brings Clarke's hand up to her lips so she can press kisses to it, holding her close. "You mean everything to me." It's the truest thing she can think to say, because Clarke isn't just a star to her, she's the whole damn sky. "When this is over having you will make this worth it." She whispers and tiredly closes her eyes so she can try to relax, unsure if she's going to be able to fall asleep but willing to try.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary for those who skipped this chapter due to the sensitive content:
> 
> Lexa wakes up in William's arms and after a brief argument she leaves the room and goes down the hall to Clarke. Clarke comforts her until she falls asleep but after about an hour, Lexa wakes up screaming from a nightmare. William hears this and goes down the call to Clarke's room. He enters to see them cuddling in the bed together. He begins to question what is going on but Clarke turns the situation around on him and tries to say that Lexa is just coming to her best friend for some comfort after the stress of that night. Lexa is crying and isn't thinking clearly enough to join in the conversation. William apologizes and says that he loves Lexa. He explains that he knows she takes sleeping pills and offers to bring them in to help her sleep. He is obviously not pleased with the situation, but Clarke's explanation seems to have satisfied him. Clarke agrees to get him if she needs them and then William leaves. Lexa and Clarke stay silent for a while but once Lexa starts to come to terms with everything again, Clarke offers her the sleeping pills. Lexa guiltily admits that she has been abusing them to cope with life at the castle and Clarke promises to help her through this and assures her that she will not judge her for that. They both say that they love each other and Lexa falls asleep that night in Clarke's room.
> 
> Normal Author's note:
> 
> Hey there everyone I hope that even though this was a sad chapter, you can appreciate that it was something that was vital to the plot because of this specific universe. Once again, I hope that everyone realizes Lexark and I take this topic very seriously and if there is anything that you think should be written differently then please let me know and I will be happy to chat with you about it. Please leave feedback on what you think. Kudos are always appreciated. Thanks for sticking with us and we hope you are enjoying the story, even though it is at a sad time right now. I promise that the next chapter is much lighter.


	24. Souls

*Three months have gone and past since the wedding night. As suspected, William did not say anything about what he saw of Lexa and Clarke together. Life is different now and it is something Lexa is adjusting too. When she stays at the castle it is with William, sharing a master bedroom. He no longer pressures her in any way, physically or otherwise to tell him information. He is true to his word about not harming her and it is clear that his affection for her is genuine. Still though, Lexa is clearly more distanced. She no longer has to ask her father for permission to go out, instead she tells William that she spends her days with Clarke's family. He never questions her about it and so many days and nights she spends with the rebels instead of beside her husband. Things are not easy. Healing is gradual.*

 

Clarke’s eyes are closed for a brief moment as she wipes the sweat on her forehead, taking a break to take a deep breath before blinking her clear blue eyes open to find kids running around closely, with the sounds of hard work a few meters away. Clarke sighs, shifting the height over her shoulders as she walks forward until she gets to discard the heavy piece of wood onto the large pile. Once she has her shoulders free, she straightens her back, hearing a loud pop from her spine, causing her to sigh relieved. Her eyes roam around until she finds a familiar figure working on the garden, pretty much like their second meeting. With a small smile on her face, the rebel runs her fingers through her blonde hair, fixing it in a messy bun as she quietly steps closer to where Lexa is, being careful not to scare her.

Not feeling much like wanting to disturb, Clarke crosses her arms over her chest as she leans against the wall of the house and watches as the future former princess works quietly in the dirt. No matter how long Lexa gets to stay on the compound, she still carries herself naturally regally; with her shoulders squared and the way she moves and talks and just… Exists. It’s endearing. Truly. And Clarke doesn’t get tired of watching from afar as the girl blends herself into this kind of life. Although they aren’t really on the compound – since they were needed in another burned village, there is always some people who is more friendly towards the girl, and others who stays distant and cold, unsurprisingly. It doesn’t bother Clarke, though. It’s her people and it’s the way things are. It’s only matter of time and patience for them to come around and see Lexa for what she is: An ally. “Hey, beautiful,” She says once she gets a bit anxious and, well, she kind of misses the girl’s proximity.

 

Lexa takes a deep breath as she works on planting the new seeds in the garden so hopefully after the rebels leave, the village will have at least a start as to food for the coming months. She kneels in the dirt, her long pants covering her knees so they don't get scraped up from the long hours they spend out there working on the ground. The sun is beating down hotly and she just lets out a deep breath, feeling sweat dripping down her forehead. She she hears a familiar voice behind her, she smiles slightly to herself before standing up and dusting herself off. Her long hair is tied up in a ponytail and she has a few smudges of dirt on her cheek and neck that she doesn't seem to notice as she walks over to Clarke and wraps her arms around her. 

"Hello my love." She says gently and leans forward to place a kiss on the blonde's lips but keeping it short since they are both hot and sweaty. Her and Clarke had become a lot more open about their relationship and even though some people clearly don't agree with them, not many have the nerve to say anything to either of them. She yawns and takes Clarke's hand so she can guide the girl to come sit down on a more shaded bench in the shade where she can her cup of water. She takes a long drink and then hands it to Clarke so the blonde can drink and she can start to rub the rebel's neck slowly, massaging the strained muscles down to her shoulders. "Don't push yourself too hard or you'll be sore." She tells her gently and leans forward to press another kiss against Clarke's cheek. "Tonight I'll draw you a hot bath and make you relaxed for a while." She tells the blonde firmly and keeps massaging the base of Clarke's neck as she leans forward against her lazily.

This is a sight Clarke would pay to see every day: Sweaty Lexa with her cheeks slightly blushed because of the heat, with her hair tied in a ponytail, wearing what’s probably the rebel’s shirt and smudges of dirt on her cheek, neck and arms. Although the job is hard, it’s clear just how much the other girl is genuinely happy – especially when she looks up to Clarke with that kind of smile on her face. It’s easy for the blonde girl to place her hands on Lexa’s waist and pull the girl closer to kiss her back. It’s easy to smile freely and to lace their fingers together as they sit together; to accept the cool cup of water that is offered without a word because there is no need to verbalize what’s already become their routine. With a low groan, Clarke gulps the water and closes her eyes under the touch of the girl’s fingers on her sore shoulders, staying like that for a moment before turning her head to Lexa and offering the girl a crooked smile. 

“Only if you join me in that bath,” She says with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. Chuckling, she takes a deep breath and flicks her eyes to where some other people are working on the garden as well. She wanted to say that she doesn’t know what she did to deserve someone like Lexa. She wanted to say that she is used to carrying heavy wooden beams and that she grew up pretty much doing this kind of work. She wanted to say that she would carry the whole fucking world if it means having Lexa in the end of the day with her in a small tub sharing a hot bath. Turning to the girl again, Clarke uses her hand to reach up and wipe the dirt off of Lexa’s face and neck with care, “You look adorable like this.” She comments absently.

Lexa hums softly and she nods her head willingly at the thought of both of them relaxing together in the bath. "I would love that." She replies and keeps gently working the tension out of Clarke's muscles as they sit there together in mostly quiet. Luckily this village is close enough to the compound that they can make their way back to it at night to rest instead of staying at the villager's homes. They are always very kind but it also makes Lexa nervous, so it's worth the longer walk back to be able to sleep in their bed instead. The sun is still shining in the sky but they have been working since early morning and she knows that others are starting to slacken from their work as well to start heading in for the night before the sun starts to set. She feels Clarke's thumb wiping away the grime from her face and laughs quietly before halting her movements soothing Clarke's muscles so she can adjust herself so she's in front of the rebel and can wrap both arms around her.

"Why don't we starts to head home soon, Clarke?" She smiles and leans forward to press soft kisses across her face. "We can have a drink and that bath." She smiles slightly at the idea and plays with Clarke's golden strands of hair, knowing if she doesn't drag her away from work now, the girl will selflessly work from morning until the late night when it's too dark to continue.

Clarke wraps the girl in her arms by the waist, pulling her close and securing her position with easy. She hums as she smiles and closes her eyes, gladly receiving the kisses across her face. “You are spoiling me,” She mumbles in a low tone as she starts to caress the girl’s lower back with her fingertips absently. Clarke groans pleased and leans her head down against the girl’s shoulder, knowing exactly what the princess is doing, but falling for it anyway because she still doesn’t know how to deny her anything. She stays quiet for a moment, knowing that they are both sweaty and dirty, but enjoying being close to Lexa anyway. She nuzzles into her girl’s neck, dragging the tip of her nose against the warm skin there until her lips are pressed against Lexa’s pulse point. She sighs and kisses the spot lingeringly before pulling back and looking into clear green eyes. 

“You know,” She starts with her eyes fixed on the girl’s, “I think I fell for your eyes first.” Her voice is low, as if she is telling a secret. Not able to hold herself, she leans in and places a chaste kiss on the girl’s lips. “Anyway,” She half shrugs as if it wasn’t a big deal – in a very Clarke way to act – and taps her fingers on Lexa’s thighs. “Home it is, then, your majesty.” She says in a playful tone before standing up and offering her hand for the girl to take.

Lexa strokes Clarke's cheek when she hears the comment and not much is able to make her blush, but this comment turns her cheeks bright red and makes her lean forward to willingly kiss the rebel's lips. "I love you." She whispers to her quietly before the blonde pulls away with her bright signature smile. The princess takes her hand and gladly starts to lead the way back to the compound, their sweaty fingers interlocked. As they walk she hums quietly and wonders what about Clarke she had fallen in love with first. Part of her thinks just the sense of protection that comes from being with her, because ever since that first night they met she has surrendered herself and gotten cared for by the rebel in a way she's never been before. It's a quiet but pleasant walk home and she just sighs when they arrive and pulls Clarke all the way into their bedroom with the attached bathroom to the side where she can go to turn on the water and adjust it until it's perfectly warm. While it fills she reaches into the big drawer on the bottom of their dresser and pulls out Clarke's favorite whiskey before pouring her a bit into a glass and setting it down on the nightstand.

The walk feels a bit long, especially since they decided to go home with the sun still up. But once they reach the compound and her bunker, she let go a long breath and takes her shirt off, quickly using it to wipe the sweaty off of her face and staying with her bare chest free. As Lexa goes into the bathroom to fill the tub for them, the rebel sits on the edge of the bed and leans down to unlace and take her boots off, placing them under the bed before fighting the urge to just lay down onto the mattress. She doesn’t, though. She knows Lexa doesn’t like much when she gets dirty on the bed, so she stands up and puts her shirt on the pile of dirty clothes by the bathroom. When she makes her way back to the bedroom, she smiles at the sight of the whiskey in the glass on the nightstand. 

“Thanks,” She says as she steps close to the princess and wraps an arm around her waist from behind, pulling her against her and pressing a few sloppy kisses on the girl’s shoulder and crook of her neck. She wonders again what the fuck she did to deserve Lexa as she pulls back to retrieve the glass, gulping the alcohol down and smiling at how it burns on her throat in a nice way. Picking the armchair by the window to sit, she takes the girl’s hand with hers and pull her into her lap with a low ‘come here’, wanting to have a moment to relax and feel Lexa’s body pressed against hers.

The kisses make Lexa close her eyes and relax so when Clarke guides her over to sit on her lap, Lexa just gazes at her for a moment before pulling off her dirty shirt and taking the time to kick off her boots and jeans, leaving her slightly tanned skin on display despite what is hidden by her bra and underwear. She smiles and settles herself down straddling Clarke's lap to melt into her, beginning to press soft kisses all over her neck and jaw. She scratches gently at the blonde's back and rubs at the muscles of her neck from where she sits, still looking up at her love attentively with a small smile. It's clear just from the look in Lexa's eyes that this is something special to her. That these gentle caring touches reassure her in ways words never could. After the rough treatment she's had all her life, pressing her body up against Clarke just to feel their hearts beating together makes her relax.

Setting the now empty glass down by the chair, Clarke relaxes her muscles and uses both of her arms to wrap the girl in her lap, keeping her where she is. She sighs and closes her eyes, blissed out by the soft kisses pressed on her neck and jaw, as well as Lexa’s touch on the back of her neck and shoulders. The small pleased grunt escapes the lips and she sighs again, tightening her grip around the girl in a silent way of saying thank you. Slowly, she drags her fingertips up over Lexa’s bare back, starting to trace invisible lines there absently, feeling the girl’s ribs and spine under her calloused digits. She knows that there is a very fine hot bath waiting for the both of them, and that they need to clean up before getting into bed, but she will take this rare moment of quiet with Lexa for a little longer. Enjoying their almost naked body pressed against each other, and the way the girl’s body fits her own as if it was made only for this. Leaning her face against the crook of the girl’s neck, Clarke pulls her into a loose and lazy embrace, keeping her eyes closed. 

“Marry me,” She blurts out in a very quiet murmur with her lips pressed against Lexa’s neck, and she doesn’t know if it was loud enough for the princess to hear. So she nuzzles her nose against the girl’s pulse point and tighten the hug, not knowing exactly how to put into words how much she cherish this girl and everything she’s done for the rebel cause and for their own future. 

Lexa is practically glowing with happiness because the whole situation makes her so content. She is sitting on top of the girl just taking deep breaths as they relax against each other and appreciate this moment they have. Lexa's mind is blank, not stressing or upset, just completely clear. What suddenly gets her attention are two quiet words that are whispered from Clarke's lips. For a second she thinks she's imagined it but then Clarke's strong arms around her tighten and she bites her lip. Her heart is beating faster now and she pulls back just enough to gaze into Clarke's eyes. 

"Really?" She whispers softly and can hardly believe her ears. "Okay Clarke let's get married." She echoes back and squeezes the blonde's hand while she looks at her with wonder and excitement in her eyes. Her expression is nothing like that it had been when her and William got married. This time she looks so happy she might just cry as she strokes Clarke's hair and pulls her into a long kiss with both hands.

Clarke looks up when Lexa pulls back and she drags her hands down to hold her by the waist. She knows the answer even before she hears it, and so she nods slowly, keeping her eyes fixed on the green ones for a moment. “Okay,” She repeats Lexa’s words, watching the girl’s face turning into excitement and wonder mixed with the hint of surprise as well. Clarke chuckles quietly and huskily before being pulled into a long and deep kiss by the girl’s hand. She sighs into the kiss, holding Lexa close for a long moment before peppering kisses down over the girl’s jawline and neck. “Okay,” She says again with her lips pressed against the princess’ bare shoulder and she pulls back to look into her eyes again. Using her hand to reach up, she tucks brown hair behind the little ear of the girl and she strokes her cheek with her thumb for a moment. There is a lot going on in her head, but she’s never been so sure before. The rebel presses her lips against Lexa’s in a chaste kiss before wrapping her arm under the girl’s knees and around her back as well, and gets up carrying the girl with easy to the bathroom. 

Once there, she careful puts her lover down and in silence she slowly takes Lexa’s bra off, grazing her fingertips over her shoulders, chest and bare breasts in a light touch. Letting the piece of cloth hit the floor, Clarke looks up to the girl’s eyes as she gets on her knees and drags her hands down over Lexa’s flat belly to hook her fingers on the hem of her underwear and pull it down, keeping her movements slow and careful. Then, she leans in to place gentle kisses on the girl’s thighs, hips and belly button in a reverential way. She runs her hands over her calves and back of her knees, thighs and behind as she gets up again, finally placing her hands on Lexa’s lower back – because she will never be good with words, but she is good at taking care of things she love. “I will fight for you.” She says firmly in a whisper, meaning that Lexa is too one of the main reasons to win the future battle against the King; meaning ‘I will free you’; meaning ‘I love you so fucking much’; meaning ‘I wanna live the rest of my fucked up life with you.’

Lexa has never felt so at home as she does in Clarke's hands so as the girl stands up she has to hold onto her shoulders to steady herself, starting to pull the girl closer. The rebel's words may be simple, but the meaning behind them is so much more and Lexa knows that. Her eyes have this overwhelming happiness and overall content that they have been lacking since the moment the two met, and now there are tears in them too. "Clarke." She breaths out the name and pulls them together closer so every bit of space between them is gone and she can hold the girl's face with both hands, resting their foreheads together. "This world has not been kind to me, but my life has been softer with you in it." She says the words quietly and doesn't break her gaze away from the intense blue eyes. "Every moment of pain I have been through in my life has been made worth it by our time together." She closes her eyes and presses a slow kiss to the rebel's lips. "And I can't possibly love anyone more than I love you right now." She tries to express the emotions that can't possibly be explained through words with another kiss, this time much more passionate and yearning, like this piece of her soul has been missing from her and she's finally getting completed as she presses against her and sucks lightly on Clarke's bottom lip as she kisses her and clutches against her waist.

With her arms wrapped around the slim figure she loves, Clarke watches Lexa’s lips and eyes. There is tears unshed on the beautiful green eyes of the princess and her pink lips tremble a little, but there is a trace of smile on them that is utterly genuine. There is the way Lexa’s eyebrow arches in a way that matches with the glint of her eyes and the line of her smile that screams happiness and the rebel doesn’t need to press her ears on the girl’s chest to know that her heart is beating just as fast as hers. And it’s ironic, it’s poetic even, the way they have find in each other their safe place. The way they have built this bubble full of honesty and care, when everything around them is crumbling and tainted with blood and darkness and losses. But yes, when Lexa is kissing her that way – translating things that they can really put into words, there is nothing else in her mind than the girl in her arms and her safety. There isn’t rebels, or monarchs, or justice. There isn’t sounds being beyond the ones coming from Lexa’s lips. There isn’t cold when the girl’s hands clutches her waist with want, or heat when there is the girl’s mouth sucking on her lip, making her shiver consequently. There is only Lexa – Lexa, Lexa, Lexa – and nothing fucking else. 

Not when she is holding the girl by her waist and dragging her lips down over the long neck, sucking on the smooth and salty skin without rush.. When the rebel pulls back, is to step on the tub guiding Lexa by the hand and pulling her down with her, pressing her front against the girl’s back and wrapping her arms around the princess in a silent request from them to relax against each other for a moment. 

“Sometimes I like to think that we knew each other before we met,” She says quietly, sighing against Lexa’s shoulder and enjoying the warm water around her sore muscles. “I thought about it when we first met that day. When you were only a prisoner. I thought about… Well. My mother would tell me these stories about kindred souls when I was little. I’ve never thought much about it until I looked into your eyes,” She chuckles lowly and nuzzles the tip of her nose against the back of Lexa’s ear. “I told you I fell in love with them first. It was like looking at something safe and familiar. It was like coming home – And I’ve never had a home.” She then sighs again and closes her eyes, resting her chin on the girl’s shoulders. “I’m not much of a believer. You know that by now. I’m too skeptical of things I can’t see or prove. But sometimes I wonder, sometimes I believe that that’s the only explanation for what happened to us since the moment I laid my eyes on you. Sometimes I like to think that if we have this kind of bond, if… If life after death does exists, then maybe next time we will have better luck. A better life. And even if we don’t, I believe it would be worth it because I’d still have you.”

Lexa always appreciates these moments and she listens to Clarke's words, just taking a moment to let what just happened sink in. They are getting married. Clarke feels the same way. Something else clicks within her mind as they enjoy this quiet time together. She had never really considered how they had an instant deep connection, but what he rebel mentions now makes sense. A part of Lexa is too cynical to really believe it, but she honestly does believe they are too deeply intertwined to have only met each other in this one life. Even the first time they met each other, it was like their souls had recognized each other and just gravitated together instantly. It's a feeling she had never experienced before and really, she's never thought of an explanation that fits better than that one. She stays silent for a minute, just gently washing the dirt from her skin and taking deep breaths. 

"I don't know what I believe." She says quietly after a second. "But I know that our love is something far too strong to be contained by something as earthly as death." She gets just a slight smile on her face and leans back into Clarke's shoulder. "And if there is any life after death, my soul will search every day until it finds yours again. I can promise you that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Sorry about this time skip if any of you find it annoying. Lexark and I wrote this in the way that would be the most fun for us to write since we never planned on turning this into a fic for public cunsumption. Now that it is being posted though, you guys will have to cope with us doing some time skips through repetitive times. 
> 
> On another note, our two love-birds finally proposed. This was such a sweet scene and such a surprise. When I read that Lexark had written Clarke's proposal I thought it was so precious so I give all the credit for Clarke's out of the blue "marry me" to her. She's the best. 
> 
> Please leave me comments about what you think of everything and don't forget to hit that kudos button if you enjoyed. :) I am curious to see what you think of the time jumps. Do you think they are okay? There are going to be several coming of of various lengths. (I think this is the longest one.) I just don't want you to be confused or surprised. I also don't want to have to go back and write boring fluff that none of you will care about just to fill space. I hope you are enjoying and thanks for all the lovely comments. :)


	25. (Hiatus again?)

Ugh I am so inactive. I feel like I come on here and post a few chapters every month or so and then leave again so sorry guys I genuinely feel bad. School just started up again though so I'll be working around that. Just a reminder that I will be continuing just taking my sweet time as usual. Sorry again! Feel free to chat with me on tumblr if you ever feel like it. I'm Wonderlandsroses.


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